The next day I woke up and the first thing I notices is that my hands is still shaking. It's been almost 24 hours since I consumed caffeine. So, I put it down to stress with everything that's happening.
Reaching for my phone in the nightstand deciding to finally turn it on. Notifications after notifications keep popping up but I ignored all that. The first thing I did was call my mom. "Lala?" My mom answered on the first ring.
"Hey mom. Sorry I've been M.I.A." Guilt spearing me in the chest for not checking in on her for more than two days.
"It's okay, with everything that's going on with Jennie. I understand."
I almost dropped my phone. "Wait, what? What about Jennie unnie?" No! No! No! I thought to myself.
"With the dating news, it must have been pretty chaotic since then." She replied.
I sighed in relief. "Yeah, just a little bit. How are you mom?"
"I'm good. Love, on the other hand isn't, I'm putting her on time out. She chewed one of my shoes and tried to hide it." We both laughed.
"Wow. Well, I think she deserves a little time out." Sighing. "I miss you." Holding back my tears.
"Lala, Are you crying?" Hearing her worried voice, was the final straw. Now, I'm fully crying. In my moment of weakness I told her everything. I wasn't even close to finishing. She cut me off. "It's okay. I know."
Sobering me. "Really, you too? Maybe, I just wasn't careful enough. Everything's a mess."
"Stop. Lisa sweetie, it isn't about being careful enough."
"Then what is it?" Wiping my tears. Giving up on rationalizing things.
"Sometimes, when you love someone it just shows. No matter how hard you try to hide it. Remember that time when we went on vacation with Jennie's family?"
"How could I forget?" It was the time I realized I love her. "How did you know? I only just realized it then."
"The mother always knows." I laughed. "We were having dinner at the beach watching the sunset except you. You were looking at her. Anyone who's paying attention would know."
"Well that explains how Alice and manager oppa knows. And I suspect Jisoo unnie and Rosie too." I quipped. We stayed silent for a while. "Do you still love me despite all of that?" I blurted out.
She gasped. "Of course I do! I love you because you're my daughter and that doesn't stop just because you love a woman."
Crying and lying in my bed in a fetal position. "Thank you. I love you so much mom."
"I love you too." Having this conversation with her brings me comfort for what I'm feeling right now.
"I don't know what to do mom. Tomorrow I'm gonna see her and the others since the news. I've been avoiding their calls and texts."
"What about just seeing how it goes, when you see Jennie and still don't want to talk then tell her. She'll understand."
Since I don't have a lot of options maybe I'll stick to that plan. "Okay, thanks mom." I hear a knock on my door and someone yelling room service. "I have to go now mom, I'll call you later. Love you."
"Love you too Lala. Bye." She hangs up.
Standing up and making sure I look presentable before opening the door. "Good morning ma'am, here's your breakfast." Placing the plates on the table. "Enjoy"
Closing the door after him, I noticed a note at the table. It says. 'Eat -Alice' I laughed at the order. "Yes ma'am." I answered jokingly.
Later that night Alice was the one who brought my dinner. "Hey, how are you doing?" She asks.
"A little better after the conversation I had with my mom earlier." I smiled slightly. "I told her everything and she was like 'The mother..." I didn't get to finish my sentence.
"Always knows." We both laughed. Settling down to eat we're both quiet for a while. Sensing that there's something she wants to say.
"Is something wrong?" I asked.
"No." She quickly answered. "It's just that there's been a change of plans." I nod for her to continue. "You got a last minute invitation to go to Cannes from Celine." I was about to say something. "You'll be flying together with Jennie after the concert." She finishes.
I can't believe this. Tomorrow hasn't even happened yet and now the world is throwing me another problem.