The next day we explored Venice like we planned. Eating at a very nice restaurant right now. Enjoying this little time I have left until reality smacks me into submission. Beating me until I remember that my life sucks right now, that I have no choice but to crash and burn.
Last night, since I couldn't sleep I was imagining what'll happen when I see the girls again since I'm still dodging their calls. Would they be mad or take pity on me and not berate me? But the million dollar question is what I'll do when I see her? I don't think my heart could take it. Seeing her would hurt. Everytime I think of her now, all I see is her, holding hands with him. Might as well just pronounce me dead right now than feeling this shitty that he won and I lost. Maybe if i prayed to God he'd take pity on me and grant me a favor. Shaking myself out of my dark thoughts.
Almost done with lunch, I turned to them. "I have a favor to ask."
"What is it?" Manager oppa asked. They looked at each other intrigued.
"Can you book me another room at the hotel in Macau?" I asked.
They looked at me confused. "Why?"
"When the girls arrive at the hotel I'm 100% sure the first thing they'll do is seek me out and I'm just not ready to see them yet. I want to prolong it until I'm forced to. Please, I'll pay for it." They must have heard the desperation in my voice. They looked at each other communicating in complete silence. With a little nod they turned to me.
"Fine, we won't tell anyone but the other staff must know that you're still in the vicinity." Oppa says. I nod.
"I have another condition." Her face saying to not disobey her right now, she continued "You have to eat the food we give you. Do you understand? I know that you're hurting but your health comes first. I don't want you collapsing on us."
Tears forming in my eyes. "I promise to eat." Looking them straight in the eye. "With everything that is happening, I feel like the whole world is against me but then I remember that I have you guys by my side, taking some of the burden so I could breathe. I just want to say thank you." Reaching across the table waiting for them to grab mine and squeezed.
"We're gonna be with you always." Alice says wiping a tear.
"Always." Oppa echoed patting my hand with both of his.
Now on the plane to Macau, with each distance closer the more my chest tightens. Like a wet cloth being squeezed dry. I notice my hands won't stop shaking, thinking it was just the caffeine I consumed I didn't mind it much. Deciding to distract myself, I spent the time between sleeping and watching a movie as to not think of things that is bound to happen in two days.
Once we've landed we head straight to the hotel we're staying. Out of the girls, thankfully, I'm the first one to arrive so no one could ambush me. Now settled in my new room, lying on my bed I noticed that my hands are still shaking. It has been hours since my last coffee. Maybe the coffee was stronger than I thought.
I still have a full day of alone time. Looking at my hands not worried at all thinking it'll be gone by then. Boy, was I wrong. What is happening to me?