My eyes shot wide open. Immediately I sat straight up and looked around in panic, trying to see where I was and if I was still in the memories. Once I noticed the familiar styled, black hair sitting on the other side of the hut I was in, I relaxed a bit. Minho slept in a chair, his cheeks a little chubby again.
I admired him for a few seconds until I noticed someone holding my hand. Newt. I almost smiled at seeing the boy, but then all the memories came back. Especially Janson telling me to kill Newt in the end.
I pulled my hand away from him after I realized everything. I couldn't come near him. What if the creators would let me do something?
Tears formed in my eyes from the thoughts of everything. I couldn't kill Newt. I would rather die myself. If I killed Newt, I would never forgive myself. But I didn't know what else to do. If I didn't do anything there would definitely be consequences. Worse ones than before. If the creators already turned violent on Newt, how would they react to me not following their orders? I couldn't escape the place and also wouldn't be able to avoid Newt that easily. He would want to talk to me. He was my friend after all. And I was in love with him, which made it ten times worse. How could I get it over my heart to kill such a kind person like Newt?
While I thought about ways to avoid the awful stuff, tears started to drop down my cheeks. I couldn't stop them. Once I even started sobbing quietly, I tried to mute them in my pillow.
And how would Minho react to all of it? I wasn't going to tell them, of course. But if I killed Newt, Minho would hate me. But I knew I wasn't going to kill Newt. No matter if the consequences would be my own death.
My shoulders started to shake at the horrible thoughts in my mind, but when one certain question came up, I didn't even care if the others could hear me. I sobbed loudly, taking gasps of air in between.
What if the consequence is the creators killing Minho if I didn't kill Newt?
I turned my back to the others and continued to cry like crazy. I couldn't help it. After everything that happened in my memories, I couldn't take it anymore. I was a spy! A shucking traitor!
I didn't even hear someone behind me until they lay a hand on my shoulder. I shook it off, crying even louder.
"Hey, hey, Shebean." The voice was soothing. "It's okay. You're awake."
I wish I wasn't!
The person I knew was Minho, moved even closer to me. "Don't," I whispered, scared of what would happen if anyone moved closer.
Minho seemed taken aback for a second. My sobs got worse by the second. Finally, I started feeling a little at home in the Glade and now this happened. It was awful.
"It's okay."
I felt Minho sit down on the bed.
"It's not okay." I cried. Minho didn't reply for a while. Instead, he gently grabbed my waist and pulled me closer to him.
"We'll talk about it tomorrow, okay?" Minho moved even closer.
I resisted. "I don't want to-." It turned into another sob. I didn't want to talk about it or be in Minho's arms at that point. I never knew what kind of things the creators could do to control me. I didn't want to hurt anyone, especially not Minho and Newt.
Minho sat down cross-legged and pulled me into his arms and lap. I sat there, knees up to my chest with Minho's arms wrapped around me. Though I was scared, I also felt safe in his arms. Just like with Newt.
Slowly my sobs got quieter and less heavy. Minho caressed my back a bit. "Try to sleep, okay, Shebean?" He whispered.
I nodded and wanted to crawl out of Minho's arms, but he didn't lose his grip. He gave me a half smile. "I'm sure this is a lot more comfortable than that bed you've been lying in for what, two days?"
I smiled through my tears and buried my head in Minho's chest. Once I sat like that, I realized there might've been a way I could trick the creators. Trick them into killing Newt, so he wouldn't die. Making me gain their trust, and trap them.
"Just go to sleep for now." Minho softly ordered when he noticed my eyes were still open.
"What about you?" I wondered. There was no way Minho could sleep with me in his arms and him sitting straight up.
"Don't worry about me, Shebean." Minho chuckled. "Good night."
"Night."
~
My eyes, which were probably swollen from the crying, slowly opened when I heard voices.
"Jane!" Someone rushed over to me and hugged me tightly, squeezing literally.
"She just woke up, man. I don't think she wants to faint again because you made her suffocate." Someone else said.
"You were the one that held her in your arms the whole bloody night, and you're telling me I can't hug her for a second?"
The other person, who I knew was Minho, scoffed. "Maybe you can't."
The person let go of me and looked me in the eyes. My breathing hitched. It was Newt. My face expression changed. I was still scared that I would do something around him. Newt's face darkened too once he saw mine doing so.
"Jane!" Someone yelled before I got the chance to greet Newt. They ran over to me and wrapped their arms around me. Immediately I recognized it was Chuck.
"Hey, Chuck." I couldn't help to smile lightly.
"What happened?" Chuck asked once he let go. "What did you see? Why were you screaming? Were you in pain? Why were you bleeding? What-."
"Alright, alright, little man." Minho pressed his hand on top of Chuck's mouth before he continued asking questions. "Calm down there."
"I want to know what happened!" Chuck pouted once Minho let go of the kid's mouth again.
"I think we all want to know what happened." A deeper voice said. Alby.
The leader walked over to me and looked at my face for a few seconds. "Can you tell us what happened?"
Don't tell them. The robotic voice said.
I shook my head hesitantly. Chuck gasped quietly and Alby's face darkened. Immediately I felt bad, but no matter if the robotic voice hadn't said anything, I still wouldn't tell them.
"If she doesn't want to tell us right away, then that's okay." Newt decided. I gave him a thankful look, feeling the warmth form in my body at his caring.
"But you gotta tell us some time," Alby added. I just nodded, not ready to think about everything yet.
"What now?" Chuck asked.
"We go run." I looked at Minho.
"You what?" Minho and Newt yelled in unison.
"No freeloaders." I shrugged and climbed out of the bed. Newt and Minho ran over to me right away, in case I would fall or whatever they were doing. I gave both of them a glance. "I'm gonna run."
"She's right," Alby said. "If you feel okay and you're not hurt anywhere, then you go into the maze. Minho too."
"But this is the first day she's gonna run alone and she just fainted!" Minho sighed. "Can't I run another day with her?"
Newt turned to Minho, almost seeming offended. "Why do you want to run with her so badly?"
Minho's face turned bright red. "Well.. uhm, I don't know. She has just been out for a day and she only had two days to practice so I'm guessing it will be better to have a.. Coach by her side."
Newt started arguing with Minho. After watching them bicker for a bit, I sneaked out of the Med Hut and gave Chuck a wink. Then I walked off to the Doors as fast as possible.
"Hey! Shebean!" Minho screamed. He saw me leave. Awesome.
Then Newt got out of the hut, limping. The part of the memories I forgot about. I froze right in my place and stared at Newt with wide eyes once I realized it. He tried to- he.. my mind went blank for a second.
"Aha! I got you." Minho appeared in front of me and grabbed my arm. "Can't run away from me that fast, can you?"
I didn't reply, just thought about Newt's limp, the screens they let me watch, and his attempt..
"Woah, are you okay?" Minho noticed something. Later Newt arrived in front of us, surprisingly fast with his limp. I couldn't help to stare at him for a few seconds, or rather, his leg. Minho let out an obvious cough which caused me to look up again. While I panicked about what I had to say, Newt's eyes opened wide.
The silence was uncomfortable.. and tense.
"I'm gonna run," I said, almost in a whisper. Newt didn't move and Minho just looked at him.
Quickly I walked away into the maze, tears in my eyes. I ruined everything. Newt was upset because of me, Minho maybe angry, and I was just lame to walk away.
This time Minho didn't stop me from running into the maze, so I kept going.