I'm just scrolling through all of my social media's right now. Ryan is staying away from me and I've already shot daggers at the kid. I think he knows not to come near me. They have been here for a couple hours. Yes, hours. I just recently joined them. I was doing laundry. They are also drinking. So I had a wine cooler. None of them are drunk though, they aren't like doing shots or anything. They were going to have a bon fire but, Colin didn't get the pit done and it started to snow actually. I'm very excited. I love the snow.
"So, since there's no more rodeo for now. What's everyone gonna do on Saturdays?" Colin asked
"Probably be at the barn" I said
"You're there almost 7 days a week" Bobby said
"Mhmm. I'm okay with that" I said
"We'd probably all hang out" Ryan said
They all nodded and I went back to playing on my phone. They're just watching a hockey game. The door bell rang and I stood up.
"I got it" I said
"It's the pizza" Colin said "Money is on the counter"
Grabbing that, I quickly counted it and opened the door. He told me the total and I gave him the money and told him to keep it. Then I took the 3 pizzas from the guy.
"Jeez, well I guess they could eat 3 pizzas" I laughed
The guy laughed and I shut the door as he walked away.
"Here boys" I said walking into the kitchen, the living room and the kitchen are pretty much one big room. It's very nice and open.
They all got up and grabbed a slice then I snuck...2. Hey i'm hungry. I'm chilling at the island in the kitchen while they all went back and sat on the couch and chairs. They eventually killed the 3 pizzas and Colin put the boxes in the recycling in the garage. So I sat back on the couch next to John. Going back on my phone I went to Facebook and some memories popped up. It was my fathers funeral. I think his was worse then my moms cause I had no one left. Well around here.
"Was that your father?" John whispered
"Yeah" I replied
"You look like him" He said
"Yeah. A lot of people said that" I said
I.. I'm sad again. Standing up, I left the living room and walked to my room. Shutting the door, I just sat on my bed and continued to scroll through the pictures. And here come the tears. Aw man. I texted Kate and asked if she could call me real fast. She said okay. And it's a facetime.
"Hey what's up. Wait why are you crying" She said
"My fathers funeral came up on my memories and I've been scrolling through the pictures" I said
"Aw babe. I'm sorry." She said
"I know you're busy but thanks for answering." I sniffled
"No problem. Oh my mom is calling. I'm going to mute myself but I have head phones in so you're fine." She said
"Okay" I replied
I sat there for a second and heard a knock on my door,
"Come in?" I said
Looking over, I saw John peek his head in.
"Hey are you okay?" He asked
"How come every time i'm crying you show up" I said
"Good question" He replied
He came into my room and shut the door behind him.
"Do you want a hug?" John laughed
I looked at him, then sighed and nodded.
"Come here El" He smiled
Standing up off my bed, I wrapped my arms around the boy and put my face in his chest. I hate this because i'm crying in front of him, but I'm loving this hug right now. Stepping back I gave him a small smile and sat back on my bed. Then I patted next to me and he sat down as well. He didn't have shoes on so he put his legs up and leaned against the head board.
"Hey babes. I'm back. She's being a pain" Kate said
" I am not" I heard
"Yes mom. You are. Now hurry up before it gets bad out" Kate said
I just laughed and shook my head.
"There's a laugh" She smiled
"Yeah. You know what sucks.. I love the snow right... it was snowing the day of his funeral" I said, then more tears quietly spilled out
"Aw babe. That sucks" She said laughing at the end "If Linda here would hurry up, I could come see you"
"Kate you are not going out after we get home. It's snowing like crazy" Kate's mom said "I'm sorry Ella but I don't want her getting hurt"
"It's fine" I said waving my hand
"What are the boys doing?" Kate said
"Good question, but this one came in here cause he likes to show up when i'm crying" I said leaning on Johns shoulder
"Aww, hi John" Kate said
"Hey" He said then looked at me
"Yes?" I pouted
"Nothing" He did like a half laugh and put his arm around me while rubbing my shoulder
"Ok mom jeez. I swear to god this women is insane. I have to go because we are checking out then going to store number two." Kate said
"Okay" I pouted
"I love you. If you need anything text me. And I will let you know when I get home so we can facetime if you want. I know you don't really like face time" Kate said
"Yeah. Love you babe" I said
We both said bye and I sat up, then went back to scrolling through Facebook memories.
"I have a question" John said
"Yeah?" I asked
"Do you have any pictures of your mom?" John asked
"I don't have any good ones on my phone, but I have a scrapbook they had made when I was growing up" I said
"Do you mind showing me? Or will that make it worse" He asked
"No, I'll show you. I think it's in the botto3m of this drawer" I said
Getting up off of my bed I went through two drawers and finally found it. I kinda just sat on the floor for a second looking at it before standing up. Sitting on my bed again, I opened it up and we started flipping through.
"What are these magazine clippings?" John asked
"My mom was a barrel racer, she's the one that got me into it. My dad did roping. And was one of the guys who went out for the bull riders. So these are just articles about them" I said
"That's really cool. Then is this you" He laughed
"Yup. Baby me" I smiled
We continued to flip through the scrapbook and he asked about the horses. My mother had two horses she used for barrel racing. Growing up, I had used her older one because I didn't really compete.
"Wait. So when did you get Gypsy" John asked
"So, after my mom passed, I started using her horse, who was bat shit crazy. And she was also older, but some how she ended up getting pregnant. There was one stud horse where we boarded and he somehow got into the mares pasture and my moms horse was the lucky one. Not really. But she had Gypsy and since she was older she ended up passing away a couple weeks later. So we had to bottle feed him when he was weaning." I said
"Oh wow. So Gypsy kinda carries your moms legacy" John said
"Yeah. I never though of that actually" I smiled
"What about the other horse you rode" He asked
"We ended up retiring her after I started riding Gypsy when he got old enough, then she passed away peacefully. I don't remember how old she was but it was up there. It was like a year before my father passed. He helped me train Gyp. So i guess he carries both my parents legacy's" I said
"Maybe that's why he does good with roping" John said
I nodded and we finished flipping through the book. There's some tears here and there but i'm mostly dried up now.
"How you doing?" He asked
"Sad." I replied
"You know. I never thought I would ever see you cry. You are honestly a completely different person then I knew" John said
"How?" I asked
"You're not as intimidating" He laughed
"Well we need to change that" I replied
"No, I like seeing your vulnerable side" He sad
"Well I don't like showing it. I don't even cry in front of Colin or his parents. It's literally just Kate" I said
"And me" John smiled
"I know and it drives me insane" I said
"Why?" He asked
"Because it does." I replied huffing
"Well, I like how we've become friends" John said
"Yeah. I guess that's a good thing. Why did you just become so nice to me all of a sudden." I said
"I could say the same thing to you" He replied
"Well, I asked first" I laughed
He just looked at me and shook his head. I'm not crying anymore, but my eyes are still watery.
"I started being nicer to you because you were nicer to me. Also I got to know you more. Like in person you're hard to talk to when, you know, not the biggest fan of each other. But after the ball dance thing, texting you, I got to know you." John said
"Oh. What did you think when you realized you had been dancing with me?" I asked
"I was kinda surprised. We had a great time. At least I did. And I was curious when I didn't see you or Kate after everyone took their masks off. Then at the barn, when you said you left early I was like.. oh it was probably her. The picture you posted sealed the deal. But it took me a little bit to message you because well, we didn't really get along the greatest." He said
"Ohh." I said nodded
"Your turn. Why'd you become so nice around me" He asked
"You were fun to text. And you were being nice to me, so I figured be nice back. And you did a lot for me. Especially letting me borrow your truck and fixing mine. That Friday probably would have been a shit show in my mind if I didn't go" I said
"Oh, what did you think when you found out it was me who you were dancing with?" John said
"I was kinda shocked, but at the same time, I was guessing it was someone in your friend group. I had low key hoped it was Ryan honestly, but now that we're here. I'm glad it wasn't, he just. I don't know. But you were fun to dance with, I enjoyed it" I said smiling at the end.
"That's good. I think" He smiled
"Yeah. What do you think they're all doing out there" I asked
"Probably still watching the game. Speaking of, are you excited to go to Texas" John said
"Yeah. I love going. It's always a lot of fun and you get to explore since there's a decent amount of free time" I said
"Is Colin going with you?" He asked
"No. He can't get off of work, and he has the dentist coming for his horse one of those days and that guy is booked out till next year. But I've never had anyone come down with me" I said
"Really?" John asked
"Yeah. I never anyone too. My dad passed before I was old enough and Dalton moved away before I was old enough. But Kate brings Tommy, so I help them and they help me" I said
"Do you think if Dalton came back around you two would date again?" John asked
"I don't think so. I'm pretty sure he's engaged" I said
"Oh shit." John said
I nodded and laid back on my bed sighing. I hate opening up to people, but I guess John's okay. I'd consider him my friend. I never open up to guys though, even when I was dating them, I didn't cry in front of them, and I never got all sentimental. The only one who knew a lot was Dalton. Mostly because I wasn't as guarded when I dated him. Plus he was around when my father died and helped me through a lot of that. Then moved a year later.
"Hey, do you want to go for a drive in the snow?" John asked
"Why?" I said looking at him
"Get your mind off stuff" He smiled
"I guess." I replied sitting up
"Okay, I guess let your cousin know and I'll start my truck." John said
"Wait weren't you drinking" I asked
"I had one beer this whole time. It's been a couple hours since I finished it" He said
Nodding, I walked out into the living room and Colin was in the kitchen. That's good.
"Hey El. Where have you been. Also where's John?" He asked
"I have been in my room and he's been with me." I said
"How come?" Colin asked
"My fathers funeral came up on memories and John was looking over my shoulder for some reason because he said I look like my dad. Then he came in a little after I had gone to my room. I may have been crying" I said
"He saw you cry?" Colin chuckled
"He's seen my cry like 3 or 4 times. Sadly. But I showed him the scrap book thing and we were talking. Now we are going to go on a car ride." I said
"In the snow" Colin asked
"Yup" I smiled
"What should I tell those two if they ask" Colin said
"Uhm.. That we are going to pull Kate out of a ditch" I shrugged
"That works. Be safe and don't be out too long" Colin smiled
I hugged my cousin and went out the front door. John had pulled his truck up to the steps. There's a decent amount of snow on the ground. And it's still coming down. Hopping down the steps, I got in his truck and shivered.
"Cold?" John laughed
"Yes. I mean it is snowing out" I replied
He just shook his head and stated down the driveway. He truck slid a bit on the turns but it was actually fun.
"So where are we going?" I asked
"You don't like this nice relaxing drive?" John laughed
"It's very white outside" I replied
"Yeah. It's snowing pretty hard. Let's go in here" John said
He turned into an empty parking lot then looked at me and smirked.
"What" I said
Then he pressed the gas and started doing donuts. I laughed as we spun around in circles and kicked up snow everywhere.
"Well, would you like to head back now?" John laughed
"Sure. Before it gets to bad out" I said
We started driving back and John grabbed my hand.
"So, did this make you feel better?... I-I don't know how it feels, but I want to help" John said
"Thanks John." I smiled "It has made me feel better. Kate always drags me out or get me laughing. Get my mind off of being sad. Ha, she would joke about things my dad I did. We were the same person." I said
"That's funny. I know I went to the rodeo growing up so I probably saw your dad riding." John said
"Yeah. That's why I stayed in our circuit. Even when we moved to where I was living, I drove all the way out here because this is the circuit my parents rode in." I said
"I mean, if you left..would you have been friends with Kate?" He asked
"Yeah. We became friends when I was really little. I knew her before my mother died. She's the one person I have left that's been through it all with me and is still there" I said
"Oh. Well, if you left our circuit you would of never met me" John said
"I mean.. is that a bad thing?" I asked, he looked at me and I laughed "I'm kidding"
"Wow, you're still so mean to me. I thought we were friends" John replied
"We are. I'm mean to Kate to and she's mean to me. It's how friendship works. Would you like to continue past the free trial?" I laughed
"The free trial? You mean I have to pay after this?" He laughed
"Well I like food, so kinda. And i'm hard to handle" I said laughing at the end
"Oh yeah, you are" John replied
"Hey" I said lightly smacking his chest
"Oh so we're violent too" John laughed "Wait... I knew that"
"I... yeah" I said nodding
"I've seen you take a swing at people. A guy... and a girl. How have you not gotten kicked out. The girl did right?" He asked
"Yeah. She came at me and Kate and there was an official walking by. She swung at me, missed, swung again and missed. Then lounged at me and I threw her on the ground and punched her in the nose. The guy said because he saw her swing at me twice then lounge, I was just defending myself." I smiled
"What do you think your parents would of said if they saw that?" John asked
"My mom would of been mad, but my dad would of said atta girl" I laughed
John laughed and we got back to my house. This was fun, I'm going to regret opening up to him though. He'll have something to use against me if we stop being friends. I really don't have much trust in people do I. Well they all leave anyway. I wonder if I can go back to being guarded around him. I guess today is fine but after that. These walls are going right back up... hopefully.
"Where have you two been?" Ryan said as we walked in
"Kate spun into a ditch, we went to pull her out." I said
"This whole time?" He said
"Yup. It's snowing hard out there. It' was hard to get traction to pull her up" I said
He looked at Bobby then just shrugged and leaned back. I shook my head and sat next to John. He was next to Ryan. Colin and Bobby are sitting on the two chairs. It's almost dinner time. They came over around 10 this morning. I don't know why.
"So, are you boys staying the night? Or are you done drinking" Colin said
"I'll stay if I can stay with Ella" Bobby said
"Guess you ain't staying then" I replied
"Always so fast with the comebacks. What the hell" Bobby said
"If you can't take it, don't ask for it" I said
"Colin, why is your cousin so mean" Ryan said
"You're the one who went out with her" Colin replied
We all looked at him and he pulled his phone out and ducked down on the couch.
"Whens it my turn?" Bobby asked "You went out with Ryan, you went out with John. So am I next"
"When did I go out with John?" I said
"The dinner" Ryan said
"Does that count?" I asked looking at John
"Eh maybe" He said
"You know. I could use a beer" Colin said
He stood up and went into the kitchen and got a bottle out of the fridge. He also grabbed a wine cooler and handed it to me.
"Yeah sure, I could use a drink" I said
A drink turned into a couple shots. But that's fine.