I had a fun night in Venice at the Bvlgari event, met some acquaintances and some new people. After the show ended we all had dinner which i really enjoyed. Sitting next to my good friend Frederic Arnault.
Seeing and talking with actresses and actors I grew up watching was such an honor that I never could have imagined happening without BLACKPINK. And I'm always grateful that I auditioned that day. It forever changed my life, I met the girls who accompanied me throughout the journey of training, debuting and the fame that came with it.
Jisoo unnie who taught me everything I needed to know. Rosé, my bestfriend, my long lost twin. We both just clicked the moment we met not just because we were the same age but she's just simply a joy to be with. Then there's Jennie unnie who became my world. At first she was just my senior trainee but then got to know her more deeply overtime. Years later realized that i have a crush on her but never told her fearing it may ruin our friendship that will definitely lead to the groups dynamic to break. So I kept all my feelings a secret. Well, that is before the Abu Dhabi concert. Until then, nobody knew or so I thought...
Now in my pajamas in my hotel room just casually scouring the internet, an article popped up with her name in it. I didn't even finish reading the headline and just clicked on it, I wished I did, then i could have at least prepared myself for what I was about to see. I felt my heart shatter seeing the video of her and him holding hands strolling in the night in Paris.
Paralyzed by the heartbreak I couldn't even move to drop my phone or to stop the video from playing again. It was on a loop so I'm just watching it over and over, numb to everything that was happening around me. Even through the low quality of the video I knew immediately that it was her, the hat she was wearing I gave it to her on her birthday this year. I ... I didn't even notice my tears until it blurred my vision and a few dropped on my phone.
Angry, hurt, sad and heartbroken. I don't even know what to do with myself, so I cried all night and exhausted myself to sleep.