Killian's eyes widened, his face a mix of shock and surprise. So, Cody hadn't told him about our talk. Somehow this warmed my chest.
Cody, however, suddenly paled and muttered, "Shit. I fucked it up again, huh?"
"What?" Killian and I asked at the same time.
"Fuck, now that I know, I can see how you took it that way." Cody glanced at Killian. "It's my fault. I told her that Alicia used to rely on you for everything and—"
"No," I interjected breathlessly. "It's my own fault."
"Both of you stop," Killian said angrily. He pointed at Cody and continued, "you, get over it already. You messed up, so what? Everyone does, including me. When was the last time you got mad at me for anything? I feel like I'm living with a saint and it's really starting to get on my nerves. And you"—he faced me again—"you promised me. And your excuse is what? Alicia? How is that the same?"
"I didn't want to be a bother..." I trailed off, not quite meeting his gaze.
"But you bother me by keeping this sort of thing to yourself," Killian pressed on. "I'm honestly surprised you even asked anything about me out of your own accord and Cody didn't have to tie you to a chair and force you to listen."
Well, Cody had kind of pushed me to ask. He and I exchanged a glance—which of course, Killian noticed right away.
"You can't be serious," he said incredulously. Shaking his head, he muttered something under his breath.
My head jerked back. "I saw your reactions," I replied more loudly than necessary. "How annoyed you got, for example, that day before New Year's when you picked her up."
"But that was with her," Killian retorted sharply. "Man, I'd probably throw a party if you ever actually came to me with your problems. But no, Mrs. Independent here thinks she has to face everything by herself, like a lonesome warrior. Do you think you'll get a medal for endurance?"
"What am I supposed to think then?" I shot back. "Get off your high horse! I don't want to hear that from someone who's been running from a girl!"
Just as Cody had predicted, the expression on Killian's face was priceless.
Drawing myself to my full height, I continued, "You've been evading Alicia whenever she's trying to talk to you—"
"She always tries to talk to me," Killian grumbled.
"—and yet you still have the nerve to lecture me."
Grinding his teeth, Killian swung his glare at his roommate.
Cody seemed caught off guard, asking, "Wait, what?"
"I didn't want to deal with it because a certain someone was pissing his pants whenever anything even slightly related to his fuck-up was being brought up."
The look of embarrassment and shame on Cody's face woke a sudden protective instinct in me. "At least he's not acting like some know-it-all! At least he talked to me!"
"You know what?" Cody chimed in. "I think I have to agree with Tay. You can really be an insufferable know-it-all."
Killian narrowed his eyes at us. "Yeah? You two really have the talent to get on my last nerve sometimes. Maybe if you'd both be acting smarter, I wouldn't have to sound like one."
"Well, you're annoying all the time," I shot back.
He gave me a flat look. "Princess, I think you top me any time of day."
God, he was so...infuriating. "You know what," I snapped. "I hope you get abducted by aliens."
"With your magnet for trouble, if there were any aliens in the vicinity, they would definitely pick you and then I have to go and get you back which would be a pain in the ass, so better hope there are no aliens!" he snapped back, his eyes shooting daggers at me.
My heart sped up. Someone was touchy. The effect of his menacing glare was just slightly undermined by the fact that he'd been messing up his hair so much that it was standing up in weird directions. I took him in. The angry set of his jaw, his furrowed brows, the messy hair, and the tense set of his shoulder—the combined effect was both intimidating and oddly attractive. Shit. Maybe I should rile him up more often.
"I gave you space after that night, right?" Killian asked, his low voice barely above a grumble. "But if that means you'll hide stuff like this, things will have to change, Princess."
"Wait, something happened between you two," Cody interjected as if he suddenly realized something.
I met Killian's gaze head-on. "What was I going to tell you then? That I have a stalker? That just sounds like I'm looking for your attention."
"You already have my attention whether you look for it or not," he replied in a brisk tone.
I blushed. Did he mean it as a friend or something more? He had accepted being friends so easily. Then again, I had told him I couldn't do relationships. Talk about mixed signals.
I caught Cody's eye and a knowing grin tugged at his lips. I quickly turned my head, feeling the blush deepening.
Killian spoke again. "I can't believe you—Tay?"
I couldn't bring myself to face him. He cared, and that was why he was upset. Not because he thought I was trying to get attention. I felt all warm and fuzzy and weird—too many things at once, and it didn't help that he looked kind of hot when he got angry. Shit, shit, shit.
"Tay," he repeated, more cautiously. Footsteps approached, and I instinctively curled up, covering my burning face with my hands.
"Hey, Tay...?" He took a sharp breath, panic creeping into his voice. "Are... Are you crying?"
I shook my head, still keeping my face hidden. If he saw it, he would know exactly how I felt. And I didn't know how I felt. God, this was so embarrassing.
"I'll order us some food," Cody said, and then a door closed.
"Princess," Killian's husky voice slid over me and I had to suppress a shudder. Why did he have to sound good as well? I was losing my mind.
His hands grasped my shoulders. "I'm sorry, okay?" he mumbled into my hair. "I shouldn't have yelled, I just—you're really making me worry..." Ever so gently, he tugged on my arms, but I held them in place. "Look at me, okay? I'm sorry..."
When I still didn't reply, he lifted me up, carried me into a room, and placed me on something that felt like a drawer. His arms enveloped me, stroking my back. He repeated my name, sounding increasingly worried.
A stupid grin stretched my face. I was such a goner.
I took a deep breath and lowered my hands to wrap them around his middle.
He drew back and studied me. "You're not crying," he stated slowly.
Carefully observing his reaction, I spoke my next words. "And you're not angry because you got pulled into this mess..."
Killian stared at me as if I'd grown a second head. As if my words were so far beyond him, that he was speechless.
"You're driving me crazy," he muttered, crushing me against him.
I basked in his body heat, feeling as if a giant weight had been lifted off my shoulders. So, he wasn't tired of me and my problems. Yet.
"I'm just making sure. You never know..." I mumbled.
His chest expanded against my cheek as he heaved out a heavy sigh. "I'm sorry for yelling. I didn't want to fight. I just...wish you would rely on me more, so I wouldn't have to constantly worry about you."
I didn't know what to do with him. It felt strange to get taken care of and I was itching out of my skin. And not because of my condition. It was such a foreign concept that I felt out of place. Every time I shut him out, he somehow wormed his way back under my defenses.
"I'm sorry too. I'm not used to...this."
"I can tell. Which is why I'm mad, but I get it." He straightened and I immediately missed the feeling of his arms around me. His embrace was like a warm, comforting blanket—strong and reassuring. "I guess, I'll just have to make you get used to it then," he added, the corners of his mouth lifting. "But still, I'm sorry for being harsh.
I peeked at him and teased, "So, you're taking it back...?"
I squirmed as his fingers playfully poked at my waist. "No, sneaky," he replied. "But I could have said it nicer. I didn't consider that it could make you cry..."
"I'm not much of a crier," I retorted.
He leaned forward, both hands on either side of me, saying in a soft voice, "You can cry if you need to, Princess. It's not a bad thing."
Except that the next day the skin around my eyes would be falling off.
His face drew into a grimace. "Unless I'm the reason."
I clicked my tongue, pushed at him, and jumped down. "I prefer yelling at you. Much more fun."
He chuckled and stepped back, watching me carefully as if to make sure I wouldn't spontaneously burst into tears. "So, are you feeling better now?"
Surprisingly, I did. "Yeah."
He reached into a closet that was standing next to the window and grabbed a shirt, sweatshirt, and sweatpants, and placed them on his bed. At least, I was pretty sure this was his room.
"Don't get me started," he warned when I eyed the clothes.
"I wasn't going to," I replied.
"What do you want to do? Do you want to sleep?"
I tensed.
"We could watch a movie, play games, get drunk. Whatever you want."
"Games. I wanna play games."
"All right. Come out when you're ready." With that, he turned and strode out of the room.
I changed into his shirt and hoodie and immediately felt a little better. Safer.
When I emerged from the room, Cody was setting up a gaming console. I dropped onto the couch next to him.
He glanced up but then busied himself with setting up the system in what seemed like slow motion. I wrung my hands as he remained silent.
"You have nothing to add?" I asked tentatively.
"Well," he replied in a perfectly even tone, "you already had your hands full. Two against one didn't seem fair."
"So...you agree with Killian."
"One hundred percent."
My stomach clenched. I hadn't considered that Cody might be mad.
"But I would like to think that I can view things a bit more rationally than my lovely roommate," Cody added. "So don't sweat it too much. Just know in the future things will be different."
The doorbell rang and he got up to answer it, leaving me speechless. For some reason, I felt worse than before, and he had barely said more than one sentence. Funny, how I could deal with the arguing better.
"He has a knack to make you feel like shit, huh?" Killian asked as he dropped down next to me.
Cody returned, carrying steaming boxes of take-out. "Well, somebody said, I should stop acting like a saint." He winked at me. "But since I know you, I don't think this will be a problem again, am I right, Tay?"
I narrowed my eyes at him but nodded. "Well played."
He flashed me a grin.
"What do you want to play?" Killian asked and grabbed the controller.
I looked through their collection and decided on Halo*.
Two hours later, I was bouncing in my seat as the score list pulled up. I had beaten Killian in every single game we played. Finally, I found something I was better at.
"Yes!" I jumped up and high-fived Cody over Killian's head.
"You cheated!" Killian exclaimed loudly.
"What are you talking about? I beat you fair and square. We never said we couldn't use a Bazooka."
I beamed at Killian's disgruntled face, and he cracked a smile. "Does it make you that happy?"
I didn't even try to deny it. "Yep."
He chuckled. "That's enough for tonight though. Let's watch something."
"Why?" I drawled. "Is somebody a sore loser?"
"No, but somebody is about to pass out sitting up."
I blinked repeatedly and shook my head. "I'm not tired. I'm wide awake."
"You're literally falling asleep as we speak," he pointed out.
"I'm not," I insisted, barely suppressing a yawn.
He snatched the controller out of my grasp and lifted my legs over his lap. "Then it shouldn't be a problem if we watch something instead, right?"
"Fine." I leaned back but couldn't quite get comfortable. I sat back up and adjusted the pillow behind my back. After that was done, I reclined, only to immediately readjust it again. This wasn't working. Where was my phone? I needed a distraction.
Killian passed the remote to Cody, and then his large hands wrapped around my calf and gently pressed down making their way to my feet.
Well, that certainly worked as a distraction.
My limbs seemed to melt into the cushion. The intro of some series started playing and then the next thing I knew, I had drifted off.