A.N// Disclaimer: Blood
I'm sorry, you guys wanted drama...
Twitter:
Josiesangels: GUYS WATCH THE VID OF JOSIE TALKING ABOUT HOW AMELIE WAS WRITTEN IT'S SO SO SO CUTE!!
hugheslee86: Jack was at the show last night and was blushing the entire time! He loves her so much!!!
Irelandforjosie: Look at these pics I got of him last night, he looks so in love with her
Josiehater: He literally could be smiling at anyone, it doesn't have to be Josie, just because it's her show.🙄
Josielovesjack: I want you to think about what you just said...
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Josephine
A few days after my first show Jack called me to say I needed to be more careful and make sure to lock my door. When I tell you my heart dropped to my stomach when he said those words, I don't even think my heart returned to its normal spot since Jack said that to me.
Recently a lot of things are foggy for me but one thing I know for sure is that I locked my door because I had suspicions that someone was in my house. Unsure of how to word what I feel is going on I respond with, "Oh yeah okay, my head has been everywhere," excuses, excuses, excuses.
Since the day the hooded man showed up, he's left multiple notes in my dressing room letting me know he can get to me. The stress of worrying over my well-being has made me lose my appetite and haven't been eating well. I really do try to eat but throughout the day my stomach won't hold it and I'll end up puking it out. I get tired and dizzier faster, having to take it a bit slow at a few of my shows. I still try going all out for them but at some point, their faces start meshing together and everything turns foggy.
I put on my outfit for tonight, deciding to wear a black mini shirt with fishnets and a black long-sleeve in hopes to conceal my obvious weight loss. I look at myself in the mirror noticing the bad dark circles under my eyes and the redness in my eyes. I put in some eyedrops before heading to Stassie for her to do my makeup. She works miracles and makes me look alive and healthy.
As Theo walks off the stage, Alex bumps into me holding onto my legs as he moves by. "Stop," I kick him, pushing his hands off of me, hoping Theo didn't see because he'd go ballistic. I wait for the party montage to start before listening to my intro to the concert. I walk out with a big smile on my face, hoping the dread I'm feeling inside isn't noticeable.
I start talking to my fans as I get handed my guitar, pulling the strap over my shoulders. "I wrote this song when I had just turned twenty, so when you hear the lyrics, you'll know a lot of things changed since then," I explain, chuckling softly before backing away from the mic to sniffle. With the current events in my life, this song hurts a lot to sing but I want my fans to hear it at least once.
"I never said it but I know that I can't picture anything past twenty-five," I sing, gasping for breath in between every lyric. The girls in the front are watching me with big sad eyes as they take in every lyric I'm singing.
"I only talk into the mirror, I'm only scared of getting bigger. At least I'll never turn to cigarettes, my brother shielded me from all of that. He said that smoking was a killer, he said he knows that I've been bitter," A few tears slip out from the sides of my eyes as I sing that part. I open my eyes to see Theo in the crowd with my merch on, wearing the saddest expression I've ever seen.
"All of me, a wound to close, but I leave the whole thing open I just wanted you to know I was never good at coping." I strum my guitar accepting the fact that I'm crying in front of thousands of people. At the end of the song I look around at every person in the room, my eyes landing on a familiar body. The hooded man.
"I never said it, but I know that I, I bury baggage 'til it's out of sight. I think it's better if I hide it, I really hope that I survive this." I sing, looking directly at him. I take deep breaths, my eyes looking straight at him hoping I can see through his black mask. His gloved hand grabs his mask and peels it off revealing his identity.
I'm lucky the lights are low because when I see his face it's like I've seen a ghost. Brendan. He's the one breaking into my house and stalking me. He lifts a finger to his lips, telling me to not say a word as I take a few more deep breaths. I turn around grabbing some water, my shaky hands accidentally spilling it down my top.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, get it together Josephine.
I run through the rest of my setlist, blowing the crowd kisses before running off stage in a panic. I look for a pack of cigarettes, feeling like I desperately need one. I light it, sticking it in between my lips to somehow control my breathing by needing to inhale and exhale slowly. I walk out the back door, sitting in the chair in the back, making use of my alone time.
I clearly jinxed it, because Theo pushes the door open to find me in my unwell state. "Josie, what the hell is going on?" He asks sounding genuinely concerned. I shake my head, inhaling the smoke and wiping my eyes. "I just miss my boyfriend, that's it," I respond looking straight ahead, not even being sure if I actually saw Brendan or if I'm just making it all up.
Theo sighs softly, squatting by my chair to pull the cigarette out from my fingers and put it out with his sneaker. "I'm sorry J, I wish I could make it all better." He pulls me into a hug, helping me stand before getting into our car to go to the hotel. He walks me to my hotel room, rubbing my arms before saying goodnight. I close the door, going to the restroom to wash my face when I hear someone knock on the door again.
Maybe he needs his sweater back, I forgot to give it to him. I open the door, getting pushed into the wall as Brendan charges in, slamming the door shut. "You miss me?" he smirks down at me. Causing years of panic to pile up now and give the panic attack of the century. What do I do? "It's not nice to ignore someone when they're speaking to you, Josephine." He bites, picking me up by the arms hard enough to leave bruises tomorrow.
"What do you want?" I just barely get out, needing to know what he wants from me so he can leave me alone. "I want revenge, you hurt me, Josephine." He taps my cheek harshly. "So I'll be around for as long as I want, making sure you feel twice as bad as I did," He throws me against the wall.
"Oh and Josie I wouldn't tell anyone about this, I'll hurt all those little hockey boys you love so much, including Jacky boy," He grabs the photo I printed of us off my nightstand and chuckles at it, ripping it apart. My phone starts ringing from my bed, causing Brendan to turn around and grab it. "Answer it calmly. If you give off any impression that you're not okay, you'll face consequences." He says, pulling out a knife from his pocket, as I click accept.
"Hi, baby," I hear his voice ring through, causing the ache in my chest to build up. I sniffle, tears flowing out and Brendan uses his knife to cut my skin, I bite my lip to muffle my wincing. "Hi, sunny boy," I force out the fakest voice I've ever used. "Are you alright, Jos? Theo called asking me to check up on you because you didn't look too good." He worries, with the softest, most comforting voice I've ever heard.
"Y-yeah I'm alright," Brendan cuts against my skin again when I let my voice shake. "I'm just a little sick and haven't been eating well. Plus all the flights and work it's all just kicking my ass right now," I respond using the back of my hand to wipe my nose. "I'm sorry, baby. I wish I could be there to help you during this transition," He says sweetly because everything he does is sweet with sweet intentions.
Brendan snaps his fingers silently, telling me to hang up on him soon. "I miss you too, Jack. I'll call you tomorrow, I'm exhausted. I love you," He tells me he loves me to the moon and Saturn, claiming he's missed me so much he's been listening to any Taylor Swift album out there. I set my phone down beside me once we've hung up.
"Two times, you didn't listen very well, did you Josie? I hope this serves as a lesson. You disobey me, you'll face the consequences very fast." He says, before disappearing out of my room, leaving me to panic in my hotel room. I crawl up to the door, getting up to lock the door and push furniture against it. After locking it, my panicked body becomes aware of the blood dripping down my leg.
"Ahh! Fuck! Fucking shit!" I cry, racing to the bathroom to clean my leg up the best I can. I look for the first aid kit I left in the bathroom, wiping my leg and wrapping it up with a bandage. Looking at my leg turns my heavy breathing into distressed cries. I throw my head back against the wall and cry until there's nothing left for my body to give.
I don't make it to my bed, I end up falling asleep against the hard wall behind me, dreaming of a safe place like home. Jack. If only he could save me from this nightmare I'm living in right now.
Twitter:
posted by: josiesmyluvr
josiesmyluvr: guys:((( Josie sang the saddest song ever last night, it's called 'Camden' and she started crying during it. Even Theo looked like he was crying </3
josieh8r: WAR IS OVER JACK BROKE UP WITH HER!
josiesdefender: girl they did not break up, did you not see the comment he left on her most recent post? She just probably misses him and is having a hard time without him.
josiesmyluvr: the way she started crying when she sang, "At least I'll never turn to cigarettes, my brother shielded me from all of that. He said that smoking was a killer, he said he knows that I've been bitter," Because she did turn to cigarettes </3 SOB
josiesbejweled: Fun fact! never say that ever again!!! OUCH!
josielee2001: guys not to be rude or anything, but have you noticed Josie's weight loss? Like she's incredibly thin now, I'm just worried for her.
josiesdefender: I'm sure you meant no harm by saying this, but comments like this can be detrimental to someone! Be careful what you say<3
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A.N// Hey everybody...😳😳 I'm a little afraid of what you guys are going to say about this one, but I have another chapter coming out to make the drama go by faster because I'm not sure if you want me to drag the drama out or make it fast...
We still have some drama left... I hope you guys are still okay with that. I AM SORRY MY JOSIE GIRL WAS HURT I'M SORRY PLEASE IM A STARRR!!!!
anyways! the next chapter is up in like a few minutes I love you to bits and pieces! I'm here for you forever!
Love Lottie 💐💐💐