Days passed without seeing Negan, I avoided the garden. Thoughts of him still passed my mind from time to time. Today was my day off and I was going to hang out with Jasmine and Jamie. I woke up early that morning, I was excited to see the people who would hopefully soon be my new friends. I jumped in the shower, sighing as the warm water washed over me. I decided I was going to try and look my best. Stepping out of the shower, feeling refreshed and energized, I quickly dried off and started to blow dry my hair. Maybe I will apply a little bit of makeup, a while ago I picked up just a tube of mascara and clear lip gloss from the commissary. I'm not really sure why. I hadn't worn makeup since high school, since before the world went to shit. Maybe it would feel nice to feel like normal, like old times.
I pulled on a plain white t-shirt and a pair of blue jeans that felt a little too tight. At least they made my ass look good. Looking in the mirror I felt a bit ridiculous. I looked pretty, and it was just odd. I don't remember the last time I've felt pretty. All these years living in this god forsaken world, I've been caked in dirt and gore. Whenever I wasn't absolutely filthy, I just looked plain. I grabbed a bottle of vanilla scented perfume and sprayed a couple pumps all over, hopefully the smell would last. I glanced at my digital clock and saw that it was almost 8 am. I still had time to kill before meeting up with Jasmine and Jamie. I felt a sudden rush of anxiety at the thought of seeing them. My mind was going 100mph with thoughts of self doubt, what if they don't like me? What if I say something weird? Ridiculous scenarios were whirring through my brain. "ugh!" I shouted as I slammed my hands down onto the bathroom counter. Just breathe. I stared at my reflection, breathing in through my nose and out my mouth. I finally calmed down and started to giggle a bit. I realized how lucky I was that social anxiety was at the top of my list of worries right now. I could be starving in the woods fighting off the dead with my bare hands right now. I felt silly, but it was okay.
My stomach growled as I cooked myself a large breakfast. today was going too be a good day, I decided. I enjoyed my breakfast, cleaned up the house a bit and got to enjoy some of my book. It was now 9:23. I grabbed my satchel and made my way out of the door. The three of us agreed to meet at Jasmines house. I enjoyed the short walk to her house, the sun warming my skin and the breeze lightly tickling my skin. I had forgotten that her house was right next to the garden. I picked up the pace, suddenly feeling nervous. I didn't even glance towards the garden, I wasn't going to think of him, let alone look at him. I found my way to Jasmine's front door, politely knocking. A couple seconds passed before she opened the door, greeting me cheerfully. "come on in!" she led me inside and I smiled at her. sitting at the kitchen table was Jamie. "Good morning Y/N." Jamie said with a smile. We all sat down around the table. There was light classical music playing in the background, I looked around and noticed Jasmine had a record player. "That's very lovely." I say, pointing at it. "Thank you dear, I have lots of records if you ever want to look through them and play something." I nodded politely feeling a bit awkward, not sure what to say next. The thing I hate most about myself is that I'm always stuck in my own head.
Jasmine seemed to be able to read me very easily "There is nothing to worry about Y/N" she grabbed my hand "I want you to feel comfortable with me, I'm your friend." Jamie smiled and nodded his head in agreement. I couldn't help but smile. "Thank you. just give me a little time I promise I'm not always so weird." I said with a giggle. "Let's go on a walk. I want to show you something." Jasmine grabbed my hand and pulled me from my seat. The three of us left the house without a second thought. We walked quite leisurely throughout Alexandria, The day was honestly beautiful. I could feel my anxiety slipping away.
Jasmine led us to a back wall of the community. The wall felt 100 feet tall, looking up at it. Jasmine suddenly started climbing up with Jaime soon following after. "Wait what are we doing?" I ask a bit nervously. "We are climbing the wall." Jaime said with a chuckle. "Come on!" Jasmine called after me. "Yeah but I mean are we allowed to? Is it safe?" They both laughed at my reluctance. "Who cares, we are adults. I don't think rules mean much in this world anymore. we've done this a hundred times before." The two of them were almost to the top before I decided to follow along. I smiled as I felt brave enough to grab onto the wall and start pulling myself up, feeling like a teenager breaking curfew.
They were waiting on the ground as I finally made it to the other side. I was halfway down before jasmine called out "You can drop down, the fall isn't that far." I hesitated a moment and then let go, landing on my feet. "There you go, look at you." I felt a bit giddy from all the excitement. We talked and laughed as they led me through the woods. Finally we came to a large oak tree with a shabby treehouse at the top. Jasmine and Jamie started to climb the old wooden ladder that was nailed to the side of the tree, I followed along.
Entering the treehouse, there was a boarded up window, the sun shining through, illuminating an old dusty couch with a quilted blanket laid on top of it, a bookshelf filled with numerous titles, some were children's books, others looked like Jasmine added to it. It honestly looked ready to fall apart. There was a large faded blue bean bag on the floor, and a desk full of liquor bottles. Jaime plopped down on the bean bag and Jasmine laid across the couch. "come sit." she moved her legs for me to sit down and then put her legs on my lap once I was seated. "Wow it's honestly-" "shitty?" She interrupted me. "No actually I was going to say magical, in it's own way. A time capsule. I had one like this when I was a kid." I said a bit sheepishly. "No no it is." Jaime reassured me. "That's why we come here so often." Jasmine chimed in.
Jaime grabbed a bottle of tequila and sat back down, taking a long swig, then passing the bottle to Jasmine. I honestly haven't had a sip of alcohol since 10th grade. I got so drunk at a Halloween party and ended up puking my guts out in some random lady's yard. When Jasmine had a drink she passed me the bottle. I hesitated a moment and took a sip, the taste made me shiver, I gagged and coughed. Jaime and Jasmine burst out laughing "oh my god your face!" Jasmine barked out. I started to giggle a bit to after feeling the liquor warm my stomach. This time I took a much larger swig, cringing again. We passed the bottle back and forth, laughing and getting drunk. Soon enough my head was spinning, it didn't take much. Jaime and Jasmine kept drinking after I stopped. We were not repeating Halloween again.
"So tell me Y/N" Jasmine said with a sly grin "you've been here a while, anybody here caught your eye?" I felt my face turn a bit red. Immediately my thoughts went to Negan. My lack of response made them laugh. "Oh there's definitely somebody!" Jaime howled. "Come on tell us who!" "Spill now." The two of them overwhelmed me. Why had I thought of Negan? I don't even know him, and he's a horrible person. A horrible killer with a handsome face and a large muscular body. Stop that train of thought right now. "Really, I'm not interested in anyone, I've just been focusing on working and settling in." Jasmine and Jaime looked at each other knowingly. "Ok let's leave her alone she's clearly in denial." Jasmine let me off the hook. "What about you two? any love interests?" Jaime's ears turned red and stayed silent as Jasmine went on to say "Nope. nobody good enough for me." Jaime scratched the back of his head and looked away.
We spent the rest of the day talking about our lives and laughing hysterically. The sun would set soon, so we decided to go home. The three of us stumbled through the woods drunkenly back to the wall. I'm not sure how I managed to climb back over the wall but as I got to the other side, before I could drop down, I slipped and landed on my ass with a grunt. "Fuck I'm gonna feel that tomorrow." I walked with them back to Jasmine's house. Entering the kitchen, I stuck my head under the faucet, gulping down the cold water. Wiping the corner of my mouth with my wrist I told the two "I had so much fun with you guys, thank you for inviting me but, I have to get up early tomorrow, I should go." They understood and hugged me goodbye. Jasmine began dancing to a new record she put on as I walked out the door.
I had planned on going straight home, but the garden enticed me to explore it. Maybe it was the beautiful greenery or maybe it was the mysterious man taking care of it that encouraged me to enter. The tequila coursing through my blood gave me the courage to find him. I'm not really sure what my goal was, but I wanted to see him. Eventually I saw him, in a far corner, using a rake. I stared for a minute taking him in, he really was tall, feeling bold I decided to approach. He finally looked up and noticed me, flashing me a grin. "Well hello there beautiful, come to see me?" he continued raking. I looked around and noticed the guard, leaning up against the fence, asleep. "Don't talk much huh?" I looked at him again "No, I mean yes, wait I mean-" he chuckled. "Need something darling?" he asked. "No? why would I need something from you?" I said a bit defensively. "I don't know, you did come up to me." He said passively. "Is it true? what you did to those people?" I asked suddenly, not realizing those words were going to come out of my mouth. He looked surprised but recovered quickly "Which ones?" He said with a grin. "You know what I'm talking about." I said a bit coldly. "Didn't realize I was gonna be on trial today." he replied, not taking me seriously. I just stared at him, still demanding an answer. He set his rake aside and looked me in the eyes "I haven't had much female company, you could stop asking me all these questions and get into those bushes over there with me." He said suggestively. I could feel my face turn crimson red. "Aw did I embarrass you darlin? you don't gotta be shy, I can make you real comfortable real quick." "You're a pig." I said with venom.
He let out a sigh "Excuse my manners, I don't get out much. You just came here to have me answer for my crimes? For Christ's sake I've been serving out my sentence for what? seven years now?" "Eight." I corrected him. "Well you just know all about me don't you?" Fuck why did I say that that is so embarrassing. "Do I have a secret admirer?" He spoke with a twinkle in his eyes and a growing grin. "What? No. I can't be curious about a killer within our walls?" I said defensively. "Most people find out about me and stay as far as possible away. but you? You're the only one greeting me darlin." He chuckled "Can't say I get many visitors." I considered his words and he was right. Why was I being so weird, why was I becoming so obsessed. He was dangerous. He could kill me right now if he wanted to, even with the guard around it could take only a second. He could beat me to death with that rake before the guard even opened his eyes. I turned to walk away "See ya next time." he called to me. I needed to get far away, I walked briskly out of the garden.
I slammed my front door shut behind me. Once I was in my pajamas, all I could think about was our conversation. How embarrassing. I'm so glad no one else was around to witness whatever the hell that was. I couldn't help but blush at his words, did he really think I was beautiful. No no we are not going down that path. I laid in bed for hours before I could actually fall asleep. That night, when I finally fell asleep, I dreamt of him again.