I love you. The words danced around in Theia's head as she laid on Nyx's chest, his heart pounding in a constant rhythm. She hadn't expected to say those words out loud, but if something plagued one's mind so often, it's bound to come out in voice. She thought of him often; his voice, his body, his mind, his lips. It'd been a while since the grief of Maia had weighed her down to unbearable levels, but she couldn't forget how it was planted in her.
Theia hated herself for loving this male. She hated Nyx for making her love him. Love and hate held such a thin line between them. Theia knew that you needed to care enough to hate someone, and she cared far too much about Nyx. She could thrive on hate. Theia knew that well. She wasn't sure she could thrive on love. She'd never felt it, never received it. Sure, Maia could've loved her, but she never cared. Someone can't love without caring.
Theia slid her hand up Nyx's chest and curled her fingers around his neck, his long hair twisting at the tips. Her eyes squeezed shut to block the tears, but they were inevitable. The rush of emotion was far too much to bear. She pressed her face into his chest, soaking in the thrum of his heart and the steady breathing. Theia clung to him, doing everything in her power to match her own breathing to his.
"Are you alright?"
His whisper was nearly too quiet to hear. She was about to feign her steadiness, to nod and mutter the words to ease him. Instead, his arms wrapped around her. Theia sucked in a breath as one arm went over her shoulder, a hand holding her head against him. His other arm was an anchor beneath her wings, his thumb running along her ribcage. The weight of his love had her crumbling. She was a mountain, he was the quake that tore her down.
"I love you," Theia shuddered, hiding her face beneath his arm. She said it as though she couldn't believe it. She couldn't. Nyx was a barrier between her and the constant she once had. He'd taken her life and tore it to pieces, leaving her heart in the rubble. He'd taken that heart. He'd taken his time to rip it apart, and then he sewed it back together. Though, he didn't leave it empty. He placed himself inside. This was the aftermath: Clinging to this male like he was her lifeline, because he was.
"I know that," Nyx answered slowly. His hand ran over her hair again and again. Chest trembling with unsteady breaths, Theia lifted her head. She nearly cringed when she looked into his moon lit eyes. There was so much there, so much he had held back before.
"I don't want to," she tried to say, but it fell through her lips in a sob. Nyx's lips- so beautiful- lifted into a sad smile.
"I know that, too," he murmured. He tugged her head down, just enough to press his lips to her wet cheeks. Each kiss was a promise of his love, and it had her chest tightening.
"Nyx-" Theia began, but he spoke quicker.
"I fought my first, and hardest battle to hear those words. If you don't want to live a life where you love me, I will find you a place to live here. I will buy you a house, I will get you a job, and you'll never have to return to the village. I didn't fight for you just to throw you back into that shit hole. I want you to live a life you've always deserved, even if I'm not in it."
Her eyes lifted to his, lips parted. Just as they'd been when she said those words, his eyes were lined with tears. In the moonlight, it looked as though the stars were lighting those tears, as though night itself was living within his body. She slid her hand from the back of his neck and held his jaw, watched him lean into her touch and let his eyes fall closed. His chest rose with a breath as unsteady as her own.
"You're a warrior, Nyx," Theia began, glancing between his eyes. He opened them, a tear slipping to his temple. She watched it roll into his hair, her own tear dropping beside his lips. "You won the battle. I'm yours, even if I have to learn to like it. I-."
The words caught in her throat, strangling the confession. She had already given him so much tonight, she could give him everything.
"I cannot fathom my life without you. Even if you placed me somewhere in this city that I've never known, I'd find my way back. You've made your choice. I'm yours, because I don't think I even know how to be my own self again."
Nyx stared at her, another tear slipping from his eye. Theia caught it with her lips, kissing his sorrow away like he'd done so often for her. She felt his cheek lift with another smile, his hand tightening on her.
"I'll teach you to be yourself again. I may love you in a way that's undying, but I love you. I don't want you to become some ghost that follows me around the estate. I want to love the female that nearly tore my eyes out because she saw injustice where I did not. Do you remember the start of this? Why you came to live with me? We aren't going to stop at your home being fixed. You need to keep fighting for the females at the village."
That point had been so far from her mind, Theia had forgotten it completely. She started all of this by fighting with the heir, and then her mother died, and Theia fought grief. Now, she'd succumbed to yet another fight, one for love. She'd gotten so lost in the war, she'd forgotten the battle she never won.
"Can we remember it tomorrow?" She asked, laying her head into the crook of his neck. Nyx pulled her tighter against him, his heart thrumming beneath her palm.
"Tomorrow," he agreed.
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Tomorrow came and went. Theia stayed in Nyx's arms, the room silent beyond their whispers. There was a snowstorm that kept them in his bedroom with the hearth roaring. He didn't make her leave, he didn't want her to leave. They didn't speak about what her purpose was past loving him. As night crept over the city, the pair decided to move. Nyx pulled one of his own shirts over her body, kissing the back of her neck as he buttoned it around her wings.
Something about the confession leaving her lips the night before created some thread between them, one that didn't let Theia stray too far without rushing to his side and clinging to his arm. Nyx was safe, Velaris was safe. She knew that she'd never be in harm's way when he was beside her. She would never have to fight to live again. Every nerve seemed to calm at his touch and Theia never wanted to give that up.
Nyx pulled on a pair of lounging pants and led her out the door. They grinned as they snuck through the empty house like forbidden lovers on the verge of discovery. Feyre and Rhys wouldn't be back until the following day, but that didn't stop them from slipping into the shadows and stealing kisses.
He led her into the kitchen, tugging her close with a long kiss before lifting her onto the counter. Theia laughed, a joyous and foreign sound in her throat. She didn't miss the way Nyx's shoulder's dropped and the lingering stare. Her happiness was beyond even his image of her.
"I'll make something up for dinner," he murmured, looking her over before bending into the ice box. Theia tucked her legs up onto the cool counter, twisting her fingers as she watched him. It was so simple, such a gentle moment, and yet it pulled at her chest so fiercely. Watching Nyx as he made her a meal that was far later than it should be, her stomach growling and Nyx laughing at the sound of it. All she had to do was accept her feelings, and life fell simple.
"Give me those," Theia ordered, reaching her hands out to the potatoes Nyx tried to peel as steak smoked on the stove. He gathered the cloth around them and carried them to the counter beside her. Theia grinned as he handed her the knife and pressed a quick kiss to her nose. The smile wouldn't fade as she dug the knife into potato after potato, peeling the dirtied skin.
"Cut them in quarters," Nyx instructed as he closed the heated oven door. Theia hummed as she followed instruction, leaning over the counter to grab the oil, salt, peppers, and herbs he laid out. On the cloth, she laid the pieces out and coated them in oil and seasonings. Nyx laid a metal sheet on the counter, grinning at her as he collected the seasoned potatoes and laid them on the sheet.
"I love you." She couldn't stop the words from leaving her lips. Not in a moment like this; so calm, so simple. Nyx looked over his shoulder, biting down on his bottom lip as he smiled widely. When he put the potatoes in the oven, he was in front of her within a breath. Her cheeks ached with the constant smile, her eyes meeting his through her lashes. His hands gripped her thighs, pulling her closer until she was flush with him.
"I love you, Theia. More than life, more than anything," he murmured, lowering his head. She couldn't handle the wait and reached up for his face, tugging him down. Their lips met and she felt utterly complete. She'd kiss him forever, she'd kiss him until their lungs shriveled and died. His large hands squeezed her thighs, his mouth dominating hers even in the slow kiss they had.
Theia repeated those words again and again, Nyx swallowing them and holding each sound in his chest. Her smile grew as his lips moved against hers, her hands tugging at his hair. Theia decided then that she'd never tire of this, that claiming her love for him was the first right choice she had ever made in her life. Each touch of his lips was a spark that brought her higher and higher from the depths she had laid herself in.
Nyx brought one of his hands from her thigh to her neck, lacing his fingers in her messy hair and tilting her head back for better access. Theia laughed, clinging to his neck as she leaned back. His mouth moved to her throat as she hooked her legs around his hips. His words climbed her throat, sat on her tongue as his teeth scraped her skin. Joy, beautiful and endless joy.
Nyx bit down on her neck, soothing it with his tongue. Theia sucked in a breath, digging her nails into the back of his neck. Her brows furrowed, head tilting up. The distinct smell of burning food filled her nose.
"Nyx." She couldn't help how his name came out in a moan.
"Yes," he groaned, digging his hips against her open thighs. Cauldron, let it burn. She'd feast upon him for dinner. His teeth tugged at the neckline of the shirt she wore, tearing at the fabric. Theia tilted her head, eyes rolling as she tried to ensure the stove was fine. It was not. Flames rose from beneath the skillet the steaks cooked on, wrapping around the edges. Theia yelped, shoving at his chest.
"Nyx, the steaks!" She cried out, not able to hide the laugh that followed. He turned to see the flames and cursed under his breath. His desperation for her was prominent in his pants as he rushed to the stove, smacking the flames with a cloth. The scene had Theia wiping tears with an aching laugh. She'd never felt so damn happy, and Mother help anyone that tried to take this from her.