—Rosalie Cartier—
I was walking up to Emily's house for the first time this week. The feeling I felt in my body was unbearable. I felt so guilty and I couldn't take it anymore.
Emily was there for me through a lot and there was no way that I was going to be a liar and Cheater towards her.
I knocked at her door a couple of times but there was no answer. I checked the time to see this was the time she would usually take a nap.
I sighed before taking the key from under her welcome carpet and opening the door.
I tossed the key onto the kitchen table. I then proceeded upstairs as I could hear a squeaking noise. It was almost like a bang.
My feet led me to Emily's bedroom door before I opened it up.
I was stunned by what I Just caught. Was I mad? A little? Was I going to be mad for long? No. I took a deep breath before pinching the bridge of my nose.
"Rosalie, I can explain." Emily says as she holds the bed sheets up to her body while covering it.
I nodded before looking over at Zackery who seemed like he was afraid to even talk. He looked as if he would grab the rope and do it himself.
"Uh, I'll wait in the living room." I say before rushing out of the room.
Now, any other person would think I was an idiot for the way I just reacted and to this day I still think I'm an idiot for letting this happen but my heart didn't sting.
Usually, I would get mad at whoever looked at Emily in the wrong way or if they flirted with her while I was sitting right there but right now, I felt relieved.
Maybe it was because I had done something bad and this was making me feel less guilty. The weight on my shoulders were lifted and the grays in my hair were no longer there. If I knew this would make me feel more relaxed, I would have set this up between the two sooner.
After about 10 minutes, They both came downstairs fully dressed. They made it awkward. I was perfectly fine with this, I don't know why they were being so awkward.
"Rosalie...I'm sorry." Emily let out,
I smiled at her, "It's alright, Em. You don't understand how happy I am about this." I said before bringing her into a hug.
They both stared at me weirdly. They must have thought I was out of my mind, and I was. I was way out of my head. This was the only thing that made sense to me right about now.
"Why are you taking this so lightly? Rosalie, I really am sorry."
"I've done something as well, but I didn't go out and sleep with your best friend." I paused before looking at Emily once more, "I've been having sexual feelings for someone else... lately."
"Sexual feelings? Rosalie, I messed up and Zackery and I were in the moment and we did what we did but if you think that compares to sexual feelings then you're really out of your head. Be mad at me, Hit me, scream. Do something."
My hand raised up to run across her cheekbones and shook my head. She looked so broken standing in front of me. It was like she wanted to get caught. Like a crack addict searching for what they're not supposed to have. Maybe the attention was what she craved.
"Emily, I'm not going to do anything to you. You're the love of my life, the journey I seek. We are meant to be, we just have to make this work. You want an open relationship, we can have that. We don't have to even call this cheating." I assured her as I searched through her eyes.
Every bone in my body wanted to feel alive when she looked at me. I wanted to feel like I was on top of the world when she touched my hands and I wanted to feel like her sunshine ray in a garden of flowers. That's just what I wanted.
In my heart I knew all the love she had for me was not there. Quite frankly I wondered if it was ever there. Was there ever any spark? Any relations besides just the title of being her girlfriend.
"I'm hurting you, Rosie. I'm bad I suck. Hate me, leave me, Just do something."
"I want an open relationship. I don't want the school to talk and call you a bunch of names. We could just pretend this never happened." I assured them both before heading over towards the door.
I was just a little mad that my best friend would betray me but that was life. Life was too short to be on bad terms right now. I'll just have to hate them later, and boy did I.
"Is it Delilah?" She asked as I froze in place,
"Is what Delilah?" I questioned,
"You're sexual fantasies." She trailed off, "You guys seem to get closer over the matter of a couple weeks, maybe a month or 2. Do you two have something going on?" She asked calmly,
She couldn't seriously be asking me this. I caught her cheating, and I'm willing to let her go but she's worried about who my unreal and never going to happen fantasies are?
"Emily come on, Delilah's like the straightest person I know. She doesn't like me." I opened the house door,
"That's not what I asked." She said at once.
I just glanced over my shoulder at her and then I left the house. My heart grew heavier as I now was able to drop the whole fake smile act. I felt like crying, My heart felt like it was torn but no tears left my heart. Only thing that dripped was the blood from my back that I let Zackery and Emily continuously stab.
A break sounded nice right about now. I needed that badly. I got into my mother's car: even though I wasn't supposed to. I then drove out to the lake by my fathers grave.
I wished that I met him. I wished I'd known him before he died and took everything from me. I didn't want to blame him, he didn't deserve it. But he left so soon and I couldn't even get to live a normal life, especially with my birth mom. It was genuinely unfair, but that was life.
The car was parked a few inches away from the deck. I walked and sat on the deck as my feet swung off of it and over the lake. I stared out at the lake before I cried.
I genuinely cried. My heart is torn apart and my insides are screaming and begging for all of this suffering to stop. I wanted a normal and safe life. Emily was safe, I loved her, I still love her. She was who I wanted for the rest of my life and Zackery was the best friend I could always dream of.
Little 10 year old me always thought I would make him my children's godparents and I thought he could be trusted.
My phone buzzed on the right of me as my eyes were blurry. I couldn't make out who it was but I was sure it was either my mother; for taking her car, or Emily; because she didn't believe that I forgave her.
"Hello." I answered, trying to cover up the fact that I was pouring my heart out to the lake in front of me.
"I need you to come over and help me with something." I heard Delilah's voice echo from my phone.
I thought I blocked her. I then moved the phone from my ears and wiped away my tears to see that it was an unknown number. She probably was calling me off of a friend's phone. That was genius, and I hated her so much for that.
"I'm busy with my own problems, Quinn."
"Well, then I'm coming over."
I groaned, "Didn't you hear me? I'm busy with my own problems, not yours. Find someone else to help you."
"Alright." She hung up the phone and I looked at it confused.
No way that was that easy. Delilah wasn't the type to give up on something. Maybe I had finally hit rock bottom. It was best that she gave up on me, best for her.
-
After a couple of hours of just staying here and looking at the lake, I finally had the courage to talk to people. After that call with Delilah I turned my phone off.
It was for the best too because she would have only got me to tell her my location. Something about her just gave me a feeling of more than sexual actions. I hated her for that. She was the reason I was okay with getting cheated on and treated like this. But damn she felt so worth it.
I watched as the symbol of my phone popped onto my screen. I waited patiently for it to turn on fully and it finally did.
"There she is!"
I turned around to see a car pulling up next to my moms. When the car parked, Samuel and Delilah got out of the car and Samuel smiled and waved at me.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked her,
"Did you know that there's 8 lakes located around here?" She asked me as she walked up to me,
I got up from the deck and I met her half way. She was wearing a cute little black dress that was an inch or two over her knees and they hugged her body. She looked like she was going to the bar or something. I hope she wasn't, I didn't have time to watch after her right now.
"Delilah, You shouldn't have come." I said at once,
Samuel looked between us both before he opened the back seat door again and he climbed back into the car. He was used to this seeing as his mom and dad would be the same way at home.
"You said you're busy, let's make you unbusy. What can I do to help?"
"You can leave. I want to be alone."
She shook her head, "No, you can't be alone. I don't trust you alone. Especially, after sensing this new vibe from you.
"You don't get to decide for me, Quinn. I decide whether I want you around me and right now I don't want to see you!" I yelled unintentionally.
She frowned as she slowly backed away and nodded. She looked almost as if she was scared of me. I didn't want to be mean to her, but she has to learn boundaries.
"Wait...Quinn, I'm sorry." I say before I quickly walk up to her car as she begins to drive off, "Delilah!" I yelled.
She stopped before looking up at me. That unfamiliar feeling inside my stomach with just the minimum amount of eye contact.
"I want to help you, Rosie."
I shook my head, "and I don't want you calling me that."
"Will you let someone help you? You get to walk in my life and tell me what to do and save me from the littlest things but I don't get to do anything for you?"
"I don't need your help, Quinn. Leave me alone, find someone worth your time, do something but let it not be towards me."
She shook her head before she grabbed a hair tie and tied up her hair. She placed her hand onto the steer wheel and then she smiled at me.
"Well, that's unfortunate." She says at last before pulling out of the parking space. "You have a good life, Cartier." She fitted through her teeth before driving off.
Maybe I was making a mistake, or maybe I wasn't. I would never know until everything came into play. A feeling in my heart knew it was wrong to treat her this way and maybe it was because of what happened with Emily earlier but I had to take it out on someone. Delilah just made it so easy.
I sighed before walking over to the deck and grabbing my phone and then dialing up a number. I had to figure things out for myself before taking the next steps in my life.
I raised the phone up to my ears as it rang. After a while the line finally picked up and I sighed, "Hello, Maya princeton speaking. How may I help you?"
She sounded so nice. Was she nice? I mean, she did give me up. My heart stung just a little before I got the courage to speak.
"Hi Ms. Princeton. I'm calling to schedule a meeting with you. My name is Rosalie Cartier. I'm your-"
"Daughter. Yes, I know. When will you like to meet up?"