Shit! I gasped, holding back my breath. Every knock throws my body off the edge, and we both freeze. The minute Tweek doesn't look at me, he throws his feet forwards and brings his hand towards the door.
I grab his wrist within seconds and pull him back.
"HELP!" He cries out, tugging at my hands, but I quickly reach my hands over his mouth and pull him against my chest. He tugs and I pull him closer to me.
Are you crazy!?
Is what I want to tell him, but the frown on my face does an excellent job at explaining the utter throb of panic chewing at my body. My heart feels like it's barely trying to grab a grip of the situation.
"Fuck-are you trying to purposely get yourself killed!?" My low hummed voice hitches, and I feel the back of my neck grow anxious. The thought churns at my stomach. I sigh and lean in a little closer to his ear from behind, letting a low toned shudder run down his skin, "What if the person out there is an exorcist, you fucking maniac!?"
Quickly I stumble back and let go of his mouth, he breathes in harshly and looks back at me. Who the hell could be knocking on my door right now!? Out of all moments-No-that's not important right now, I need to do something about Tweek first.
My eyes desperately begin to glance around the room, before looking back down at his shirt, the awful buttoning of the buttons, the scuffs and dents from the horrible hassle I had to get myself into a few minutes ago.
Shit, It'll have to do.
"Hey man, Craig, is everything alright in there?" The voice plays again in a tender familiarity. I have a feeling that I know him, but everytime he knocks, the idea is scrapped and thrown out of my mind.
I need a second to think.
Just, give me a second.
...
I can't believe that I'm doing this again.
"Make another promise with me, OK?" I groaned, pulling his body closer to mine by the hand. I catch him by surprise and he throws his hands over to my chest, he panics but I throw a hand over to his chin and pull his face closer to mine.
"Another!!" He silently cries, and we stand up.
Yes, Tweek, another.
But this time, you really don't have a choice. Well-I didn't really give you a damn choice anyway!
We make way over to my closet beside my bed and I open it gently with a swing, softly I give him a tender push inside and he grunts, "GAH!?" he whines the second his shoulders hit the back of the closet. He's engulfed by hoodies and old shirts, but it'll have to do.
"Just...don't cause a mess, alright? I'll be back soon" I bring a hand over to the handle and slide the closet door halfway, I softly smile this time and look down at his fidgety fingers, "if you do, I promise I'll bring you somewhere good, okay? Like a fresh start."
"My way of, uh, helping you regain your memory" I hum, bulshiting my way into his trust. I wait there for a second or two, and he judges me. The frown on his face tells me that he hates this, but then his eyes soften and he looks up at me just fine. "Okay...but you better promi-" he replied and the ends of my lips curled.
"Yeah yeah perfect!" I close the door softly and make my way over to the door, stumbling over a couple of clothes one at a time until I finally place a reckless fist against the door and close my eyes.
I'm a mess, to my hair to my face. As if I had just fought my way with a tiger, clawing at its claws and trying to clip its nails, just to end up in a worser state. Well-maybe he is a tiger.
Firmly I bring a hand over to my chest and soften my uniform up. Carefully soothing down the rough sides and edges of my attire, until my outfit becomes somewhat better than what it used to be. Dammit Tweek...my uniform.
Finally I averted my eyes back over to the door and embraced myself for the worst. I mean, maybe I'm just overthinking it, but what's the worst that I could encounter from behind this door. A demon? The church, oh god Mr Mackey!
I'm starting to get an eerie feeling about this, but I know that doing nothing isn't going to get me anywhere.
And it only takes me one more breath to drag my hands down the handle, opening the door with a click. The thrill is driving my heart insane, the pressure in my body is racing and the minute the sun outside catches a glance at my room my body goes scarce.
"Hello-" my words hitch and my body tenses up.
What!?
"What, wait why are you guys here!?"
Clyde and Tolkien stand by the door and smile, and I feel like I'm forgetting something. Because why out of all moments, are they...here!?
"You look tense" Clyde snickers and Tolkien adds onto Clyde's argument, "and dead."
I do?
Well can you blame me!? I barely slept, and the first thing I did this morning was tackle the hell out of the bastard.
Carelessly I pick at my cuticles and look up at the two who wait for my response. They expect me to say something, react in a way, but I don't know how to. I'm too out of it to remember the reason they came here in the first place.
Then the thought comes back to me, the gleam shines from my eyes and I sigh calmly. I remember now, I was supposed to walk over to campus with them. But shit, when you have a demon with you...things get kinda...messy.
I had completely forgotten.
"Me? You're crazy," I smile, slightly closing the door so they don't see the chaotic energy cascading from my room. When I think things are going just fine, the closet behind me shakes and this catches both of their attentions. My breath hitches and I stomp the sole of my shoe against the ground. I'm trying to tell Tweek to keep it down, but the little spaz can't keep his control.
"You have a friend over-?" Clyde raises his brow, questioning the subtle noises coming from my room. He tries to tilt his head closer to the entrance and I almost lose my mind.
No no no.
"HAH! No!" I push him out of the way, grab my stuff and close the door on my way out with a bang.
Keep your distance Clyde,
I'd advise it to you.
"The wind" I reply, and the two of them look at each other, they find it hard to trust my lowly thought of lies.
Oh humble me Craig, the wind, are you serious. For fucksake Tweek! Stop moving around, I can't keep up with this lying spree.
"Right, the wind" Tolkien teases me with this and lowers his gaze, "so, does the wind take acting classes?"
Acting?
Why would the wind take acting classes-
Oh Jimmy. Now I'm going to kill you.
"I'm kidding, loosen up asscheeks," The curly haired chuckles at the ghastly expression on my face, I'm drained. Emotionally drained. "You know, Jim made a weird joke about you an hour ago, but I get it"
You do!? Because I'm getting the obvious idea that you don't Tolkien.
"He's just fucking with you, you know he's always joking around, got it tuck?" He says the last line to make me feel better. But I know the punks spreading the 'joke' around like its forest fire. No actually what's this joke even supposed to be-
Jimmy, I swear on my life I'm going to tell everyone about your little white powdered wonderland addiction. Maybe then you'll like that joke.
"Tuck" Clyde groans, while we walk further away from my apartment. I'll be honest, I feel a little bad and out of it to leave Tweek alone. I just hope he's okay, but for now the best I can do is focus on getting this over with. Gently I look over at Clyde and nod
"Yeah, Clyde?" I grinned, feeling his hand wrap around my neck, he opened his mouth and I expected either the dumbest or most brilliant idea to leave his lips.
"You think todays the day mr geek?"
"I fucking hope so"
It's been a tortuous couple of days, and after everything, I really can't get myself to summon anything. Then what was the point of summoning him? There has to be at least some improvement to my abilities, maybe in the way I speak or do stuff. Then once again, I get a good feeling about this. I imagine the crowd looking up at me, forward to my words. My hand on the book, tracing over the pages, saying the spell with such delicacy. Shocking the whole crowd.
Just this once, I tell myself.
Just this time I wish everything to go my way.
Carefully we make our way over to campus, Clyde and Tolkien snickering about the dumbest nonsense. Something about Tolkien setting Clyde up with Bebe in hopes that she'll get back with him. But the thought alone brings a chuckle to my mind, and it brings me the feeling that Bebés is going to end up punching him in the face instead.
And the minute we arrive, Clyde gives me a hard smack at the shoulder and pushes me forward, he expects me to smile but the churning eerie sensation tugs at my neck. I swallow and look back at the two with twinkling innocence.
"Relax, impress the ladies Craig," Tolkien gives me the casual nod and they both shoot me one last smile. The ladies? Well Clyde, that's definitely a motivation for you.
Wasn't that the main reason he became an exorcist anyway?
Finally I say my last goodbyes and we part ways, I go towards my sector, and they go towards their sectors.
Just this time, my body gets chills. Something that seemed like a dream seems like a joke. I'm overcome with fear, frustration and anxiety. The what ifs play around my mind like a game, the what if it becomes an 8th attempt. Again, useless, pathetic trial.
No, I grab a hold at my thoughts and breathe in.
If I expect to do something, I can't keep thinking like this.
Subtly my hand pushes the handle of the door and I walk inside, everyone's looking at me, eyes all around cascading the very protective layer surrounding me. Breaking my bubble of vulnerability, pinching my skin.
I slide the feeling off and make my way over to where everyone sits and awaits their turn.
The sudden barrier is broken by a snotty voice and my body freezes. Well well, Eric Cartman.
He watches me attentively, making sure my bubbles popped just before he opens his scrawny mouth to talk. "Craig bud," he pokes at me and I ignore him for the first time, the second time he opens his mouth I find it utterly impossible to hear a word coming out of Mr Mackey's mouth. "You got the book?" He snickers, laying a hand flat out in front of me.
Right, I had almost forgotten.
Makes me wonder why he wanted this junk anyways, "here" I hand him the book and he grabs onto it gladly. The second I blink is the second I find the book now in his hands.
"Happy?"
"Perfect" he scavenges his grubby hands through the pages, searching like a thirsty animal trying to find something to bite his fangs into. But it's just Cartman, and his undeniably impatience to want to dig his fingers into the pages. Scavenge that which isn't his.
Is the thing worth a billion bucks or what!?
"So...not that I care, but why do you want this?" I chew at the thought and hold back my glances at the pages, I shouldn't care, but I'm curious. A bunch of the pages aren't even visibly clear, just a bunch of scribbles and ink turned into chicken scratch. Maybe I'm a little worried too, I know it's not my business, but I hope he doesn't fuck things up with it.
"You know Craig, stuff" he grins, and the smug expression written on his face makes me want to gag. "Professional stuff."
Professional stuff? Are you mocking me?
"The stuff you can't do" he confirms, and he makes it more than obvious to me that he is slapping the fact on my face. The fact that I wouldn't even be close to summoning the things in this book.
Little piece of sh-
"Craig" a soft voice catches my attention, my eyes dart back over to the stage and now Mr Mackey waits for my attention. I stand up and nod, he welcomes me to come up on stage and I do as so. Fidgeting with my uniform and picking at my cuticles. "Let's try again, alright?" He hands me the book and I grip it. The leather is familiar under my touch, I know every cursive in this book, every dent and fingerprint on the cover.
And once again everyone watches over at me, they make it obvious to me. Giving the casual chatter around the room.
The only difference from now and before, being that now I have a demon living in my apartment. A secret, my secret.
And a desire lingering over the tip of my tongue, the desire to prove everyone wrong.
That Craig Tucker, isn't just any goody loser.
I'm gentle with the pages, a little shaken from the chatter running around, but I ignore it despite everything. Carefully my fingers pause on page 41 and I look down at the words. Imagining the syllable jumping off my tongue how they've always done.
The spell is simple. A few words.
And then a demon will rise from in front of me.
Then I will turn to the next page and exorcise it. I have the whole spell memorized, but out of pity reassurance I leave the page open.
Gently I hum, "corna rosse, coda piccola, un diavolo nato dall'inferno" and everyone pays close attention.
"Mostrami il tuo punto più debole!" I finish it off with my own hand swinging in front of me. I keep my distance, closing my eyes and feeling damned if this really works, because an 8th failure doesn't sound as pretty.
...
"HA," a low snobby laugh erupts from the crowd, but I know it's Cartman. In my mind I'm hoping that the demon I summon potentially chokes him alive, but nothing happens. Not a single noise or creature erupts from below me.
Come on you fuck-what's going on now!? Why can't I-
Then it happens, a sudden small red light erupts into bubbles from below me and then forms into a tiny devil with horns. The crowd goes silent, gasps erupts and I'm at a surprise too.
Oh my, fucking God!
"You...you did it," Mr Mackey begins to cheer, and I can't help it. How, I can't even begin to understand how-
"Oh what the fack man" Cartman wails and throws his arms in the air, Mr Mackey shoots the little piggy a glare and the crowd laughs at this.
"Mkay, go on then, exorcise it, you can do that too right?"
Ah-right!
Yeah-yeah I can uh...
How do I...do that again? I flip through the pages and stop at page 53. I'm shaking, the impossible has happened. I unclip the cross from my necklace and hover it above the demon. Tired and messy I bring the words to my mouth, kneel down and say them. Every word leaves my mouth slowly, accurately, but just minutes before I'm even able to say the last word. The creature bursts in front of me, and I'm confused.
But I didn't get to-
"Craig, absolutely excellent!" Mr Mackey hands me a pat on the back and takes the book from me, I stand and look around the room. Everyone claps for me, but I don't feel proud.
Because I know that wasn't me.
"Uh, thank you father Mackey" I bring the false grin over to my lips and walk off the stage, I don't believe it. No matter how many times you try to make me believe it, I know it's not true.
Somethings off, and I know it.