The night had been one of best he had as of late. It was starting to become a recurring theme. After each and every encounter with trouble, once they were free he would feel more relieved and a tad more confident. Thus the sunrise, a brilliant array of warm colors, made his chest swell with excitement. Maybe he was just starting to get used to this life.
"Land ho!" Ruby yelled. The island was coming up in the distance. It looked to be fairly smaller, even more than the one situated before Reverse Mountain. Yet even from where they were he could see it sparkling in the distance like a star on the waves. It was likely far more full of buildings and docked ships than the other.
They pulled around to the back, finding a semi-secluded beach. Both Ren and Blake had helpfully pointed out that flying a jolly roger was not a good look for a ship coming to port. For that reason, Ruby, Cardin, and Neo stayed behind while the others went onto land. As they left, Ruby could be seen climbing onto the top of The Bucket and using her scope to watch the area. Cardin seemed to be keeping as much space between himself and Neo as possible while he tried to sleep.
"So, what's the plan?" Jaune asked as the sandy beach faded to grassy land. He could already see the inhabitants, so he wanted to talk while they were still too far to hear. Ren hummed, tapping his chin in thought. That surprised Jaune a bit since he expected him to have a plan, but maybe he was just mentally organizing his notes.
Either way, Blake took the opportunity to speak her part. "Now that we're not in a rush, we should get done everything we need land or a town for. The maps the marines gave and the books from Beacon's library are nice, but I would like some paper and pens, charts, and other more extensive books on navigation. The seas here aren't like the waters elsewhere."
When Blake finished, Ren began, "Now that we have enough food, we need proper ways to preserve and cook it. I'll be searching for that, though I might not find anything to keep our perishables cold."
That made sense. Walking around a market, it would be easier to find knives, pots, pans, and even a propane stove than it would be a refrigerator. Jaune shrugged. "I guess you'll figure it out."
"Your new weapon?" Ren pointedly reminded him. Jaune staggered in response, as if a child being caught red-handed.
"I was thinking," Jaune drawled, trying not to look too caring. "The sheath is the problem, right? Can't I buy a new sheath?"
"Getting one tailored may take time we don't have," Blake pointed out.
"Ruby could do it."
"You need something long range." Ren's argument cut him down. "You may learn to compensate with your devil fruit somehow, but the point stands that long range is currently your greatest weakness, Jaune. Now that we're in the real world, we can't just say you'll pick something up eventually either. I think it's vital you have something to face that weakness." He paused and thought for a moment. "I guess you could always ask Ruby to upgrade Crocea Mors."
Jaune shivered. "Nevermind, I guess I'll just go get a weapon." They split ways and headed out into the town. He checked his lien, only to discover he really should have thought of that beforehand. Actually, how did the others plan on buying anything? He shook his head. They likely had more than him. He would pick something out and get them to buy it for him and then he would pay them back of course — but if they were going to force him to buy a weapon, then they could deal with it.
He was surprised to find a sword shop. Quite simply, a place to buy swords. It was honestly something of a culture shock to him. Most weapon stores in Vale and the rest of Remnant were geared toward anything under the sun when it came to parts, though not many places sold full products. It was mostly parts, ammo, and dust that could be found, though not always at the same place. Weapons were so diverse, you couldn't afford to invest in even just a type. It was a simple enough building with the image of two crossed swords over the sign.
Inside smelled like metal. Sharp and strong with an acrid scent of oil on top of it. Blades lined the walls and there were barrels filled with what he assumed to be cheaper blades. The bored looking shopkeeper at the front had a display case of what must have been the more expensive ones.
It was a great variety that lined the walls, the majority looking Mistralian in design. He began browsing, not exactly sure what he should be looking for. After all, he entered Beacon after no official training. How was he supposed to know what fit him? The best he could think of was something similar in weight and size to Crocea Mors.
He was checking a sword out when he noticed someone else shopping by him. It was a woman with black hair and glasses. Glancing at her face told him she was older, but she reached just a head shorter than him. She was closely examining the many blades and scratching a pen on a notepad. His first thought was what sort of freak takes notes when not held at gunpoint or under threat of Goodwitch. His second was that she might actually know something about swords.
"Excuse me, miss?" He tapped her shoulder, surprising her. He returned the action, her startled grunt startling him. After recovering, he cleared his throat and asked, "I need to buy a new sword. I don't know much about them, do you think you could help me pick one out?"
***
Tashigi, if she would ever admit such a thing, was a bit frustrated with Smoker. She respected him, and she knew she would never leave his side. That being said, he was a bit of a perfectionist. They were to guard the entrance to the Grand Line, and Smoker had been stationed there for years; he had gained the reputation as a barrier between Remnant and the Grand Line. Then, just days ago, that record was broken.
In Tashigi's opinion, it really didn't count. It was the first time in years that Smoker had ever been away from post. In fact, it was the first she was ever aware of. Those limited edition Vacuan cigars had just been too much for him to ignore. It just so happened that in that single day, a multitude of crews made it past their post. At the moment, he was now chasing some Jaune guy who was the only one they were certain of an identity. Honestly, from the description she heard, he kind of reminded her of that poor kid she met earlier. He was nervous and in over his head, trying to find a weapon that would help him one day become a hero. She would have been suspicious, but there's no way it could have been him. He wasn't the strong, scary, dangerous man that radio had described him as.
She helped him pick out a simple cutlass. It wasn't any fantastic grade or noteworthy, but he seemed to take to it quickly. He said it matched the aesthetic. She figured it was a bit too on the pirate-side, but he was likely from elsewhere on Remnant and just meant sailor-like.
She was daydreaming about what else she could have advised him when Smoker smacked a stack of papers down onto his desk. He grumbled, reading through the stack, then handed it to her. "There's a report about a robbery. It was a local swords shop, one Pine Rd. by the docks."
Tashigi gasped, reading the report. She was certain that the sword she helped that boy decide on was the only thing stolen. That fiend! Who would take a sword from an aspiring swordsman! "I'll find the culprit and bring them to justice, sir!" Smoker grunted in acknowledgement.
***
"How much do I owe you?" Jaune asked Blake. When they had all met up at The Bucket, he let them know his situation. It had been way too embarrassing to have that woman help him, listing off knowledge like Weiss talking about dust, and then not having even a fraction of the cost. Blake told him she had it covered and came back not too long ago with the one he described.
Blake shrugged. "Nothing."
"I-I can't just take your money!" Jaune insisted. "What kind of captain would I be if I just took my crew's money?"
"No, you owe nothing since there's nothing to owe." Blue eyes blinked in confusion. Blake rolled her eyes, but still smiled softly. "I don't think any of us had enough money for most of this. I just stole it."
"You stole it?"
Once more, Blake gave him a blank look. "We're pirates."
"Oh yeah!" Jaune slammed his fist into his open palm. "I almost forgot that means we can take what we want! Man, that would have been so much easier."
"I'm not sure you would have been able to be stealthy enough," Ren interrupted. Jaune made to argue, but quickly rethought opening his mouth. Maybe it was a good idea he went and talked to Blake about it. "Anyways, since we're on land, why don't you train your devil fruit?"
That was exactly what he did, completely unaware that the marines on the island were now looking for them.
***
He was supposed to be a criminal extraordinaire! The world knew his name and spoke it both in awe and fear! The man that took to crime like an actor to a show, leaving his mark forever in the annals of history! That was who Roman Torchwick, the gentleman thief, was. Or, that was what he was supposed to be. At the moment, he felt like a glorified babysitter. Honestly, would these two bickering idiots silence themselves for ten damn seconds!
He had lost any and all will to feel fear. That had dried up at his boss' defeated expression. The disposition she held before Mercury's rant was what he had expected. Her ire bubbled higher, like magma rising to the surface of a volcano. Words spun on, and each time she tried to interrupt, the silver haired boy kept going. Both mystified and horrified, Torchwick watched as the magma cooled, leaving numb stone behind. By the end, he was sure he had just listened to a copypasta in verbal form. The biggest difference was that a copypasta did not force its victim to sit in silence for seven hours. He so desperately wished it had ended there. Pirates, treasure, devil fruits, everyone after some stupid shitty swimsuit: that should have been the end! Then Emerald spoke.
Hers did not last as long, but that was not her own fault. The moment the word 'ninja' left her mouth, Mercury was up in arms. Torchwick was sure he was losing it now. Ninjas and pirates: goddamned ninjas and pirates! It was like he was sent years ago listening to the age old debate. No, he didn't have to listen to it: he had to be inbetween it.
Cinder had not spoken once since then. That was more impressive considering it had been days and she had yet to open her mouth. In the end, what Mercury had told her must have sparked some sort of reaction since they were now on a boat headed to a fabled 'Reverse Mountain.' She was at the helm and Torchwick was in the back, a human barrier between the two arguing parties.
He really didn't feel fear in this situation anymore. Cinder needed him alive now. She desperately needed his sanity. It was actually one of his greatest assets. There was no telling what Neo would get into without him around. God forbid she got a hold of any of that. Despite that all, that didn't mean he appreciated sitting between two young adults spitting out insults, each vying for their dream of choice: Pirate King or Hokage. If you asked Torchwick, they were really both agreeing that they should be in a mental hospital.
"Is that it?" Cinder's voice, raspy from not speaking, surprised them all. After being silent so long, it jolted them all to attention. In front of their boat was a rather mundane looking peak emerging from the waters. Admittedly, it did look impressive for a natural structure, but Mercury had described it as almost mystical. Thus, their current sight felt underwhelming. "Well, is it?"
"Uh, yeah it is. There's normally water flowing up it, though."
"Flowing," Cinder's eye twitched, "Up?"
"Yeah. I think it only happens at certain times though. I'm not sure when."
Cinder hummed, a sudden calm surrounding her. One that gave Torchwick chills. "Mercury, how many people have you killed?"
"Yes." Torchwick would be damned if that made sense, but Cinder either somehow understood or entirely didn't care.
"I'll assume you know how to hide a body?"
"Yes ma'am."
She turned to him, boring her gaze into his skull. "Where would you like yours hidden?"
***
Blake leapt forward, cutting the shoulder of the marine beneath her as she shifted to the next. He attempted to use the butt of his rifle to jab at her, but it was a pathetic excuse for a hit. The wooden stock flew far left and let her slam the hilt of Gambol Shroud into his skull. She twirled into a roll, moving under the hail of gunfire.
Ren was behind her, meeting the marine shots with his own. He calculated each burst of bullets, striking non-lethal points. Twisting his left arm and squeezing the trigger at a marine ahead of her, causing him to fall over clutching his knee. Ren's right arm twitched and another foot soldier dropped their rifle.
Somewhere in the back, Cardin was bashing heads (literally) and Neo was delivering trauma on a silver platter. Ruby kept watch for any emergencies her sniper could aid with. As for their captain, the thought made her grit her teeth.
The marines had either not expected their competency or their speed. Reaching the back of the wave, at the very top of the beach, they had not anticipated her arriving for close range. None had drawn their swords yet and were forced into melee with their rifles.
She ducked, feeling wood brush through her hair. She jabbed her elbow into one's gut before whipping around. She didn't even need to sense the new marine charging her to know he would be there. Her left foot planted into the ground and she pirouetted, snapping her foot into the man's neck. She kept the motion, following through with her blades as another marine approached. Her blade cut into the barrel of his gun, letting sparks fly. Weaving around the surprised man, she lunged on to where her captain was: being held hostage on accident.
On one of his brief swim breaks, the woman he had gone sword shopping with appeared with a small squadron of marines behind her. They all thought it incriminating, but the woman, who introduced herself as Sergeant-Major Tashigi, must have seen something slightly different. It took a while for Blake to piece it together, having to use what the woman said and did while fighting off her opponents.
Evidently, the marines arrived in time to see Jaune tired from swimming and a bit tattered from their sparring. She had, rightfully, assumed that 'someone here stole a sword,' but thought Jaune had come to take it back. At the moment he was being 'guarded' by her. What infuriated Blake the most was how he was just standing there.
That was until she finally caught his movements. It was hard to see at first since she was only getting glimpses. She sidestepped the overhead swing of a marine who finally drew his sword. She let it fall below before kicking it into the sand. At the same time, she deflected a slash to her left with Gambol Shroud's short sword. In that moment she finally saw that Jaune was gesturing them to the ship.
"Retreat!" Blake called out. The others seemed surprised. Ren locked eyes and nodded, rushing back with her. Neo seemed disappointed, but complied nonetheless. Cardin wanted to be stubborn. He was in the process of slamming his entire body into a marine, knocking him into another like dominos. He would have continued, but Ren gripped his shoulder tight. They shared a look and the burlier boy gave in.
The marines pursued, knocking up sand and flashing the crew's aura with their shots. Tashigi seemed conflicted. She would have liked to capture these pirates that disrespected an aspiring swordsman, but as long as he was safe she would accept it. She turned to assure him all was well, and her face dropped. He was gone.
She searched, scanning rapidly around her. Suddenly twisting her head too fast, her glasses flew off. She knelt down, and put them back on in time to see him emerge from the ground and board the odd looking pirate ship with the others. Then it finally clicked.
He had been so quiet introducing himself that she had mistakenly heard his name as 'John.' No, she had just helped the international criminal Jaune D. Arc.
She had her responder snail out in moments. "Captain Smoker! I've found the culprit: Jaune D. Arc!"
The face on her snail morphed from stoic to one of grim excitement mixed with annoyance. It was like a hunter learning their vexing prey was near. "Board the ship immediately. We'll pursue them."
***
"Wait, did the log pose lock onto the next island?" Jaune hurriedly asked.
Blake was already pointing out directions to Cardin and Neo. "Yes. It happened while you were still training."
Jaune sighed. That was what he had been most worried about when they had been confronted. He had been stalling both for the crew to thin the chasing forces and for the log pose if need be. "Well, I guess then —"
"There's a marine ship at six-o-clock!" Ruby called out. "They're angling to meet our right side. I think they'll be able to fire cannons soon."
Jaune cursed. He grabbed his shield and headed towards the starboard. Cardin followed and stood next to him. Jaune really questioned what they could do against cannon balls, but they would have to try. This was an obstacle bound to happen at some point, he had just hoped they would be more prepared by then.
The first came flying at them. The speed made his stomach flip. He held his shield higher and braced for impact. Metal clashed against metal, something snapped, and the water splashed rocking The Bucket. Jaune blinked, quick to notice he hadn't felt anything.
He turned to see what happened. Cardin was still mid-swing, having used Executioner like a bat. He had stopped the attack, but from what Jaune could see, the upper half of his mace was also sinking into the ocean. That only made their situation more dire. Jaune prepared for the next strike only for it to never come.
"They're retreating!" Ruby called out for them.
Jaune glanced over his shield to see she was right. The ship was no longer headed toward them. "Why? They had us in a rough spot, why would they just leave?"
"I'm not sure," Ren replied. He was looking at Cardin who was staring in disbelief at his broken weapon. "Whatever the case, let's not take this luck for granted."
***
After only the first shot, their captain yelled out over the deck. "Stop! That's an order. We need to turn back now!"
"What's wrong, sir?" Tashigi asked.
Smoker stared her dead in the eyes. "I just ran out of smokes."
Thus, the crew that had sailed with Smoker long enough to know him well, flew into a frenzied panic.
***
Pyrrha was thankful for Ozpin, yet he had not come in time to save her entirely. The humiliation was still there. The soldiers had been swiftly scolded for surrounding and pestering a new recruit. If Ozpin's rage did not frighten them, Goodwitch's did. Nora, who looked like a kicked puppy, had sworn that she was sorry. It really didn't make Pyrrha feel any better.
Why had her world come crashing down like this? She wanted someone to blame but couldn't find anyone. If she blamed Jaune, that would only hurt her. She couldn't blame herself or the others for not trying hard enough: they had given it their all. She couldn't blame Yang for being — well, for being Yang. Left was this strange, vile feeling that she wanted to push away.
She let it become a fuel: a reason to hold her head higher and to push on. Even so, her footsteps felt a bit more hollow now. She was distracted, focused on the facade she wore. She barely heard Nora mention being bored. "We're here to be marines. You've had your fun, and now we need to get to work. If we want to get our friends to come back to their senses, we need to push ourselves." Nora withered under her gaze. Instantly, Pyrrha regretted it. She was still forcing her confidence, but tried to soften it. She wasn't sure how effective it was.
Ozpin greeted them once more, having left earlier to meet up with Ironwood. Everyone they arrived with was there, but now Winter was with them. Their headmaster — and now captain as he told them — led them across the docks with his hands locked behind his back. He stood overlooking the deck.
Without turning to them, he cleared his throat and spoke. "This will be your ship, and these soldiers your men. Most huntsmen and huntresses never experience something like this. They're often independent, and when they're not they're working with a team. I will be your commanding officer, but when I cannot be here, you must be the ones to lead them. I trust you not to fail."
They boarded the galleon. Now setting foot onto the deck, it looked much larger than it had seemed before. They were greeted casually by the crew. Odd waves here and there, but not much other than polite smiles before they returned to work. As Team PWNY was being introduced to their new vessel, the soldiers around them were loading and unloading cargo. Large boxes that took multiple men to haul were stacked messily on the docks and on the deck.
Yang made some comment about helping them, but Ozpin waved it off. They had been walking across to the captain's quarters, a room stationed above deck and under the wheel. "Before anything else, you four must first settle in. Here, I have your new uniforms." He opened the door and gestured to the desk inside. Atop it were folded clothes, resembling the uniforms the soldiers outside wore.
Nora was already there, grabbing at one of them. She held it up, pinched between the index and thumb of both hands, and wrinkled her nose at it. "We should arrest whoever designed these, because this is a crime against fashion!"
***
*****
AN:
Smoker is honestly one of my favoritee characters in One Piece, and I feel I did him dirty by including so little of him. I want him to come back later in this story, but I don't have any ideas at the moment.
I just had to give Jaune a cutlass. How could I not? I could have gone down the route of getting him some cool One Piece katana or something of the sorts, but this is an over the top pirate crack fic. If there was a reasonable way to have Jaune wear a shirt that said 'I'm a pirate,' I probably would. Probably only as a throw-away gag though. As for the fact that Blake stole it, there is a significance there...
There was more of my favorite subplot in this chapter with Cinder slowly losing her mind. Unfortunately for her, this is only the beginning of it. And Emerald's pretty stupid to be mentioning stuff about ninjas. I mean, everyone knows that there's only grimm, huntsmen, pirates, and marines on Remnant...believe it!
The last thing I want to say is a warning: next chapter is when stuff really starts to go off the rails. I mean, it's been quite a bit of chaos already, but if you aren't prepared for it, next chapter will hit you hard. I don't know. Maybe. What I'm trying to say is that this is a crack fic for a reason, so don't be too surprised.
Anyways, next chapter: Boredom at Sea!