An excited couple sit in the office of St. Juniper's medical office. Waiting patiently for their appointment time, they're holding hands and having a quiet conversation.
"I feel like I shouldn't have drank so much water." Harper says.
"But you need to for the ultrasound." Yoongi reminds.
"Yeah but now I have to pee so bad." Harper whines.
Her husband chuckles as he rubs her stomach.
"You can go and just let a little bit out. Like just enough so you feel like you won't pee on yourself."
"If I start, I'm not going to be able to stop." She leans her head on her husband's shoulder.
"Well, then you gotta stick it out and hold it, I guess."
She groans and Yoongi laughs at her exaggerated distress.
"You'll be okay, honey." He kisses the back of her hand and she smiles at him.
"I'm always okay when you're with me."
"I love you."
"I love you." Harper pecks his lips and he grins as she lays her head back down on his shoulder.
He kisses her forehead and she closes her eyes, taking a deep breath in.
The door opens and both of them look to the woman that comes out. Her hair is black an inch or so out at the roots and a golden blonde color through the rest.
She's got it tied back into a sleek bun with a middle part. Her glasses are cat eye frames with translucent cheetah print on the sides. They almost match the shade of her brown skin skin to a T.
"Harper?"
"Oh, that's me." Harper picks her head up and stands from the chair.
"Good morning, momma. Come on back." She holds the door open for her and Yoongi. "Good morning, Dr. Taylor."
"Good morning." Yoongi replies. "How are you today? I see you've moved."
"I'm good. And yeah, I like it over here way better. Not to say that I didn't like the other job but the men were-." She frowns and rolls her eyes.
Harper looks between them, confused. She's never seen this woman before and she doesn't think Yoongi's ever mentioned her. Not that she knows every person that he knows. Just curiosity.
"Babe, this is Monae." Yoongi realizes he didn't introduce them.
He also knows how his wife's brain works like the back of his hand at this point in their relationship.
"She used to work over at the physical therapy center. She was there for about a month or two after you started working at the hospital." Yoongi explains.
"I went back to school to be an ultrasound tech." Monae inputs. "This is way more fun. Cures the baby fever that I definitely do not need right now."
Harper smiles as they're led to room one. "Do you want kids?"
"Eh." Monae responds. "Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't. Mostly yes, but definitely not now. Maybe in the future. When I'm 30."
Yoongi and Harper laugh as they enter the room. He helps her onto the table and she lays back onto the pillow, getting comfortable.
"Have a kid when you're ready." Harper tells her. "Or if you don't want to have kids, then you don't have. You're not obligated to just because you have a uterus."
"Tell that to my mother. Always with 'you should meet a nice man, I want grandkids'. Like that sounds like so much more of her problem than mine."
Harper snickers as she lies back on the table.
"Was your mom like that with Onyx?" Yoongi wonders.
"No." She shakes her head. "She wanted a big family but she never pushed it on us to have kids. She always said she'd be happy if we did but if we didn't, she'd be happy with that, too. Whatever made us happy, she was okay with."
"Is Onyx your first child?" Monae makes conversation.
"Yeah. Him and then this one."
"Awe. How old is he?"
"He just turned three in July." Harper responds as Yoongi finds a picture of their son.
It isn't difficult to do. His camera roll is filled with pictures of his wife, their son, and their cat. There's also screenshots of toys that Onyx likes and sections from articles about raising divergent children that he found helpful. There's about five or six screenshots that Harper sent to him.
But mostly photos of their family.
Yoongi shows Monae the pictures and she coos.
"Awe, he is so cute. Oh my God."
"Thank you."
"Oh, that makes this even more exciting. Is he happy about the new baby or you haven't told him yet?" Monae grabs the warm gel as Harper pulls her shirt up.
"We haven't told him yet." Harper shakes her head. "We want to get everything confirmed and things before we start telling anybody."
"Yeah, that makes sense." Monae nods. "There's also the possibility of a total toddler meltdown which I've had to witness with my own eyes a few times before."
"Yeah, that too." Harper agrees. "We've just got to find a good way to tell him and hope for the best, honestly."
Yoongi sits back in the chair as he listens.
"Good luck to you guys with that. I know it's hard for toddlers to understand. Some take it well, others don't. I think the reassurance is what really makes or breaks it for a lot of kids."
Harper looks over at her husband who's nodding in agreement.
"Alright, let's see what's going on with this little one." Monae rubs the gel along her stomach, the black and white image coming into view.
There's quiet for a few minutes as Monae does what she needs to do and looks at what she needs to.
"Alriighht. So you're measuring at 12 weeks and four days."
"Twelve?!" Harper and Yoongi both say as their eyes widen.
"Yes.." Monae looks between them skeptically. "...should there be a different result?"
If the answer is yes, then that's a health and safety concern. She needs to know this information.
"No, no." Harper says as she shakes her head. "I just.. can't believe that." She stares at the screen then to her stomach. "I think that I was bigger with Onyx."
"Every pregnancy is different." Monae tells her. "This little one looks like they've implanted a little further back in there anyway. So it's likely that you'll show a little less than you did with your first child."
"But that's fine." Yoongi says as he looks at Monae, hoping she'll catch on. He doesn't want his wife to worry herself over normal things.
"That doesn't mean that anything's wrong. That's just where they landed." He continues.
"Right." Monae nods as she look from him to Harper. "From what I can see, and what you see, they're perfectly healthy."
They all listen to the baby's heartbeat before she rips the ultrasound printouts from the machine. She hands them to Harper then wipes the gel from her belly before helping her sit up.
"Thank you." Harper smiles at her.
"Of course. Did you guys have any questions about anything?"
"The next time that we come, we can find out the gender, right?" Harper asks.
"Yes, in four weeks." Monae confirms.
"Okay, uhm ..." she looks at Yoongi. "We have a family camping trip in four weeks. Is it okay if we make it five weeks out instead of four?"
"Definitely. Just let the receptionist know. And if for any reason, you're able to reschedule or need to come in earlier, just give the office a call."
"Okay. Thank you so much." Harper gets off the table and holds Yoongi's hand in hers.
"My pleasure, guys." Monae opens the door for them. "See you in five weeks. Have fun on your camping trip."
"Thank you." Yoongi replies. "We will."
The couple step into the hallway and walk out to the waiting room. Walking up to the desk, Harper hands the woman the paper that Monae gave to her.
"Scheduling for the next appointment?"
"Yes. In five weeks instead of four."
"Okay, just let me pull up the schedule. And is there any particular day of the week that works best for you?"
"Wednesdays, preferably. We have those days off."
"Okay, about the same time?"
"Yes."
"Alright. Five weeks out would be the week of October 13th. I have availability on the 15th for an 8:30, 9:30 or 10:15."
"9:30 works fine."
"Okay, you got it." The receptionist says. "You are all set and scheduled for your appointment on October 13th at 9:30 a.m.. You should be getting the notification in your app soon."
"Thank you."
"Of course. You guys have a good day, now."
"Thank you. You too." Harper smiles as they walk toward the door.
"Thank you."
Harper and Yoongi walk out of the office, both immediately looking down at the pictures.
"They're so tiny." Yoongi comments. "I can't believe Onyx was once this small."
"I know, right. It's so crazy to think about now when he's half my size and gets held like he's not 32 pounds."
"And counting." Yoongi adds.
"Yeah, and counting. He's getting so tall."
"Well, you're about five foot six, six and a half. And Jahlil was what, six foot? A little over?"
"I think that he was about six foot two? Six foot one? I know that he was a little over, can't remember exactly which." Harper tries to remember but to no avail.
"Either way, he's going to be tall. Your dad's six something, too. Eva's what? Five foot nine?"
"Yeah." Harper nods. "My mom and I are about the same height. I think I'm an inch or so taller than her."
Yoongi snickers as they approach the elevator. "The tallest this one's gonna be is like Eva's height."
Harper smacks her teeth and he laughs harder.
"Sorry, kid. Daddy's not getting any taller."
"Oh hush. Five foot nine is a good height. It's a great height."
"Are you just saying that to make me feel better?" He teases.
"I don't know, is it working?" She narrows an eye playfully.
They laugh together as he pushes the elevator button. It dings and opens for them. As they're stepping into the elevator, Harper hears Delilah's laugh.
The door to the obstetrician's office in front of the elevator opens.
"Oh, shit." Yoongi says as he sees their friend.
"Push the button." Harper whisper yells.
"I am pushing it." He whispers back.
"Well, push it faster!"
"I'm trying!"
Delilah hears the hushed aggressive voices and looks up. She sees Harper and Yoongi in the elevator and her eyebrows furrow as the doors start to close.
She looks them both up and down and she's eyes widen at the sight of the ultrasound pictures.
"You-!" Delilah points as the doors continue to close.
"Sorry! We love you!" Harper calls with a wave.
The doors shut and she sighs heavily. Yoongi blinks at their reflection in the metal doors.
"Well.... That went well." He says.
"She's going to call me later."
"Yep."
######
"Twelve weeks?! You just got married 12 weeks ago." Delilah points out.
"Yeah, I know." Harper says as she walks around the living room. She holds Jewel in her arms, cradling him and scratching his stomach.
"I think we conceived on our honeymoon."
"You think?" Hailey exaggerates. "Girl, that's the only thing that makes sense. Y'all tied the knot and started making pastries."
"Uht." Harper looks at her phone as Delilah laughs. "I'm so sick of y'all."
"We're so happy for you, it's just so funny. The first time you guys don't use protection and boom, baby."
"We don't know which time we conceived. We just know it was one of the times."
"Oh so y'all were getting busy for real, huh?"
Harper sighs as she smiles. Yoongi walks into the living room holding Onyx and pauses in step at the words. She looks at him and his cheeks heat up.
"Wait, what are you guys going to do for the camping trip?" Hailey suddenly asks. "If you're not going to tell your parents yet?"
"Titi?" Onyx sits up at the sound of Hailey's voice.
She gasps as Onyx wiggles out of his father's arms.
"Is that my favorite boy?"
Harper picks him up in her other arm so that he can see the phone and he giggles. Yoongi takes Jewel from her so that she isn't carrying so much weight.
Onyx's eyes widen and he gasps.
"Hi! Oh! Mamma Lilah!"
Delilah smiles and juts her lip out. "Oh, my heart. I love you so much. How are you?"
"Uhm, I-... I went pee pee."
"You did? Did you go on the potty?"
"Uh.." Onyx looks at his dad.
"Almost. We almost made it." He tells her.
"That's so good, bambino." Delilah says.
Onyx smiles bashfully, hiding his face in his mother's neck.
"Papa Luca's going to be so happy to hear that."
"Papa Luca? Where?"
"Oh, he's at work right now."
"I go? Mommy, I go?" Onyx pats her shoulder.
"Not tonight. It's almost bedtime."
"With Mommy?"
"You don't want to sleep in your bed? With Jewel?"
"Jewel get in yours bed."
"He gets in my bed?"
"Mhm. With Daddy."
"So me, you, Jewel and Daddy?"
"Mhm."
"Okay, Bubba. You ready for bed?"
"Mh-." Onyx's hum in response is cut off by a small yawn.
"Oohh, Harper, just call us tomorrow or something. Get Bear to bed." Hailey pouts as she looks at the toddler.
"Alright. I love you guys. Don't say anything to the guys yet, please. Until we figure out how we're going to tell everyone."
"Lips are sealed." Delilah pretends to zip them.
"Taehyung couldn't get it out of me if he tried." Hailey zips her lips as well.
"Thank you. I'll text you guys tomorrow."
"Talk to you tomorrow." Hailey replies.
"Love you." Delilah says before they all hang up.
Yoongi holds Harper's hip as they walk upstairs to their bedroom.
"Mommy, I sleep with you."
"Yes, baby. You sleep with me."
Harper gets into the bed as she holds Onyx. He lays with head on her chest in between her and his father.
"If you want to curl up, then to face me, Bear." Yoongi tells him.
Onyx looks at him, a little confused.
"Mommy's tummy is sensitive so it'll hurt if you curl your knees into her." Yoongi explains.
"Ouchies?"
"Yeah, she'll get ouchies."
"I sorry, Mommy."
"No, I don't have ouchies now. I'm okay right now. Just lay with Daddy if you want to curl, okay?"
"Mmm 'kay." Onyx lays his head back down and closes his eyes. "Daddy, count, please?"
"Down or up?"
"Uhh, down."
Yoongi begins counting down from 100, with Onyx humming the rhythm of the numbers with him. The toddler makes it to 78 before he's fallen asleep.
Yoongi continues to count down until 50 before he stops. Onyx and Harper are both fast asleep as the toddler curls into his mother.
Yoongi picks Onyx up and lays him on his chest to sleep. He knew that he'd curl up at some point. He doesn't do it on purpose, it's just the way that he sleeps.
If he was awake and did it, he'd have realized and stopped himself or been a little sad thinking that he'd hurt his mom.
As Harper sleeps, Yoongi puts a hand on her lower abdomen. He smiles to himself.
He asked her a few days ago if she'd been or if anything made her sick. She'd told him no and promised she'd tell him if it did.
But she's almost out of the first trimester and seems to have been beaten the frame for morning sickness. All she's gotten is morning nausea that she's seemed to have been able to stomach.
Yoongi wonders how it didn't hit them that pregnancy was a possibility all this time. The last time that Harper got her period was during their wedding. She was pissed off, to say the least.
Harper was furious, actually.
Her exact words were 'it's late by a day or two than what the app says every other time. Why's it on time today?!'
Delilah figured that with the timing of her cycle, she'd be ovulating during the honeymoon. Pregnancy is always a possibility but after a few weeks went by of them being home and nobody said anything about a pregnancy, she let the thought go.
She didn't want to bring it up if it wasn't on their minds. Or maybe they'd decided that it wasn't for them. Things like that, she knows can be touchy subjects for couples. She didn't want to be the one to bring it up and cause an argument. She also figured that it just wasn't her business.
Besides, she and Luca have their own baby process to go through. After a year of trying for a baby, Luca was starting to become frustrated. Not with Delilah, not with himself, but the situation in general.
He went to see his doctor in private and discovered that, in the tubes that transport sperm, he had a blockage due to his vasectomy. It's a kind of common side effect and some men do need fertility treatment after having vasectomies.
Luca told this information to Delilah (after a few months of debating and self loathing) who was very supportive of him. She didn't judge him for anything and she comforted her husband as he cried to her.
She told him that he didn't have to get another surgery to remove the blockage if he didn't feel comfortable doing so. She suggested IVF treatment as a possible option and he declined, stating that he 'wanted to be the one to put the baby in her'.
So, recently, Luca has undergone the surgery to remove the blockage. He's been focusing on healing and attending a therapy session twice a month to help him process his emotions surrounding the matter. Delilah goes with him every other time for support.
They haven't told any of their friends about everything. They've only told their close family members.
With the news of Harper being pregnant, Delilah is so over the moon for them. Luca will be just as happy. It's likely that this will encourage him and bring his spirits up about trying again.
If, after everything she's been through, Harper has the strength and is willing to try again, then he will be too.
"Meow." Jewel jumps onto the bed and walks in between his family's bodies.
He curls himself in between Onyx and Harper, laying against the woman's stomach. He purrs against it, nuzzling his neck and head into it.
"Hey." Yoongi says to get his attention.
Jewel looks at him, pausing his nuzzling motions.
"When the new one gets here, no pacifier thieving, alright?"
Jewel blinks at him before going back to his nuzzling.
"I'm serious. You made me look crazy to Harper and our friends for months."
"Meow."
"And then you'd watch me look for them, too, like you didn't have them hidden away in his nursery."
The look on Yoongi's face when they took Onyx's crib down when they moved was priceless. He looked as if he through the five stages of grief in less than thirty seconds. He was in pure disbelief.
Harper could do nothing but laugh before her face immediately turned to horror when Onyx tried to put one in his mouth.
She'd never moved so fast in her life.
"No stealing binkies, Jewel." Yoongi tell him.
"Meow." The cat turns its head, laying down to sleep against Harper's warm body.
Now that he thinks about it, Yoongi's has to fight Jewel for space next to Harper for the last two weeks. He's been sleeping directly in between them whenever he joins Onyx in their bedroom.
He didn't think anything of it, it's not uncommon for him to do. He likes warmth and he finds the space in between Harper and Onyx.
The matter usually sleeps directly on top of his father so there's not any space for Jewel to squeeze in there.
"You could've warned somebody you know." Yoongi says as he looks over to Jewel.
"Meow". Jewel replies with his eyes closed.
"You're not going to keep them all to yourself like you try to do with Onyx."
Emphasis on try. Onyx loves Jewel and they do everything together. He won't sleep without him. He stays near him while he eats. When Onyx plays outside, Jewel is never too far behind. He sits on the back deck or on the front porch to watch.
Sometimes he'll sit in the driveway to be closer if Onyx is having a more exuberant burst of energy.
Onyx is glued to Jewel until his parents gets home. Then he's all over his parents, settling in with sticking to his father like glue.
Yoongi looks at their son as he sleeps. His navy blue bonnet matches his mother's and Yoongi always finds that cute. He remembers the struggle that it took to get him used to wearing them.
When Onyx was about 20 months old, his hair had grown to a length where something would need to be done with it. Harper didn't want it to start matting but they both knew that he wouldn't sit for a haircut of any form.
So she started braiding hair in singles and two strand twists. This put a lot less tension on his scalp than straight-backs (which he also wouldn't sit for due to it hurting scalp).
Harper isn't heavy handed. Onyx just has a tender scalp, which is fine. She's learned how to do styles that don't put weight on his head or hurt him.
She even started buying them matching bonnets as a way to get him to keep his on at night. Harper uses a wave cap to secure his braids into position and then puts the bonnet over it.
This routine is one of Onyx's favorite at night. They take a bath, brush their teeth together, then put their bonnets on before bed.
Yoongi reads him a bedtime story and Harper lays with him in the toddler bed until he falls asleep.
There have been a few times that Yoongi has read himself to sleep after a long shift. Onyx would giggle and crinkle his nose at him before asking his mom to finish.
She'd read him to sleep before waking her fiancé up to go to bed. He'd apologize for falling asleep and then knock out again when they got to their bedroom.
Thinking back on it, it didn't seem like much time had passed. It went by so quickly. But looking at Onyx, looking at Harper, his family, his life....
It's clear that things are different. Good different. They've grown as individual people. They've grown together as a family, as a married couple.
Many things have changed and yet, the little things feel the same.
Yoongi still makes Harper's heart leap every time her eyes are on him. Harper still randomly flusters Yoongi when he least expects it.
They've been through some tough things together , had many hard conversations and yet, they love each other more deeply than ever before.
With each passing day, Harper feels her affection for her husband grow. She never she'd feel a love like this.
Well, they've both been in love before. They've just never experienced this kind of love back. They've never experienced unrestricted, infinite amounts of love the way that they receive it with one another.
It's terrifying yet thrilling.
There are always there 'what-if's'. With this deep of a connection, with this strong of a tie, a love like this doesn't just 'die out'. No. It crashes and burns.
Similar to shooting stars.
They're beautiful. Everyone wants to see one in their lifetime. They admire them. They stargaze hoping to catch one. They wish upon them, putting all their faith into a fleet across the night sky.
But that star will crash somewhere.
Either it crashes, or burns itself to nothing before it does.
A risk, either way.
But there can be a certain kind of beauty in disaster.... no?
Look what's bloomed in its place.
21 year old Yoongi would be so proud of 31 year old Yoongi.
26 year old Yoongi would be so happy for 31 year old Yoongi.
18 year old Yoongi would want to hear everything about 31 year old Yoongi. He'd be in absolute awe of the man.
How'd you meet our wife? She's beautiful, isn't she? She's a pharmacist? Wow. We have a son? How old is he? We have another baby on the way?! How many kids are we having? Is the house big enough? You have two cars? Is there a garage? There is!
Is she happy with you? She is? Oh, that's good. You're happy with her. You're smiling like a fool. Do you have time now? Is she okay with your job? Our job isn't in the way, is it? Please tell me we make time. She makes you so happy. You're in love. I'm so happy. I can't wait. Thank you.
If Yoongi could send any message to his younger self, he'd tell him to hold on a little longer. He'd tell him to stay on track. He'd tell him not to change anything.
Things hurt for a while, yes. He'll feel lonely for a while, yes. But the result is worth more than anything. He couldn't put a price tag on it.
This is what he worked so hard for. This is what he studied for, this is what he spent countless nights crying for. This is what he sweat for.
None of it was easy in any sense.
But Harper's journey to him wasn't easy either.
They've had to go through their own versions of hell to reach the heaven they have with each other.
But neither of them would have it any other way for the life that they have now.