Part Seven
I'm royal fucked. I've opened a can of worms I don't think I can even think about attempting to close. I can't even bring myself to come out of my bedroom today. I've sent emails to my lecturers saying I'm sick and unable to attend class today. That's how scared and tortured I am about leaving my bedroom. I'm even fearful of going to the bathroom.
I can't even use my logic of if you don't address it, it will go away. I highly doubt Bryce is going to go away and let this be. The look in his eyes confirmed it before I hide inside the house like a coward last night. I have myself to thank tough. Pat on the back for me.
My watch tells me it's almost three o'clock in the afternoon, I'll need to show my face soon. You know let everyone know I'm alive and not dead in my bedroom from being a coward. Maybe I should talk to someone, see if someone else thinks what I did was cowardly. Nora! I can talk to her about Bryce, she might even be able to help me figure out what exactly Bryce might have been talking about.
I'm saying I shouldn't have let you break up with me. It was the worst decision of my life letting you go.
I know what it means plain as English but I'm not entirely sure he was thinking logically. He was drunk and high just like I was. He probably regrets all of it, the kiss and the confession. I throw my sheet off and launch myself off the bed. I grab my silk robe and slip into it and out of my bedroom.
I can hear Nicola downstairs in the lounge room. I peer over the railing; she's talking to the TV. I move away before she can sense someone watching her and walk over to Nora's closed door. I'm about to knock when I realise Tyler could be over. They could be in there doing...things.
I drop my hand and turn back to my bedroom. It can wait. I can wait. "It will just drive you insane." I mutter to myself, shaking my head. I turn back to the door and knock a few times.
"Come in." Nora calls. I push the door open slightly and peer inside. She's fully dressed and walking towards me. She smiles. "Hey, what's up?"
I slip into the room properly and close the door, flicking the lock so we won't be interrupted. "I need to talk to you about something."
"Oh...um..." she trails off, looking over her shoulder.
I look beyond her and realise Tyler is laying in her bed. He's fully clothed too which means I haven't interrupted anything. Thank goodness. He's out of the bed in a flash. "It's cool, I can head off anyway."
"Actually...maybe you help me too." I say, lifting my shoulders. I mean Tyler and I did talk about Bryce a little bit at the arcade, he might be able to provide helpful advice. You know a guys prospective and all that. Plus, he already knows about Bryce and I.
He frowns. "It's not a girl thing, right?"
I shake my head, looking at Nora's surprised face. "Not really...it's um...it's actually a Bryce thing."
They both make surprised noises. "Did something happen?" Tyler asks, breaking the silence first.
Nora looks at her boyfriend before looking back at me startled. "Wait...you want Tyler's advice?"
"Well, I mean he already knows the situation and we kind of spoke about it already." I shrug like it's not big deal.
Nora gasps. "When? Oh my god, babe you're one of the girls." She moves to pinch Tyler's cheek. He bats her hand, moving back to the bed.
"A guy's perspective might help, and you are friends with Bryce." I offer.
Tyler nods, giving Nora a see? look. Nora giggles before she climbs into the bed next to him. They both stare at me, waiting and I suddenly feel like a kid standing in front of the class to present a speech. "The floor is yours." Nora says, sweeping her hand out towards me.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. Am I so sure this is a good idea? I'm ready to lay everything out on the line and maybe sort through everything I'm going through because this has the potential to progress beyond just a bean flicking obsession. I might actual have a second chance with the guy I never really wanted to let go of.
"Did something happen last night?" Tyler asks, watching me curiously.
I grab Nora's desk chair and pull it over to the end of the bed. I draw in a deep breath as I sit down, facing them. "I told Jason I took Bryce's virginity."
Both of their eyes widen before they glance at each other. "You told Jason?" Nora asks.
I nod. "I don't know what possessed me to say anything in the first place but it just came out. I told Jason that we knew each other from high school and that we had a good break up."
"Debatable." Tyler mumbles.
Nora elbows him, gesturing for me to continue. "Bryce asked if it was."
Nora gasps dramatically, smacking Tyler on the chest. "Ow." He glares at her, rubbing the spot she hit.
I draw in another deep breath. "And we somehow ended up kissing."
Nora gasps even loud this time and goes to smack Tyler with excitement again but he catches her hand this time. "That's huge!"
"Who kissed who?" Tyler asks.
I raise a brow. "Does that matter?"
He nods. "It was Bryce, wasn't it?"
Nora makes another noise, crawling to my end of the bed. "Was it as good as you remember?" she asks, going completely off topic. I look to her boyfriend who is actually trying to be helpful.
"I kissed him first."
Tyler grins. "No shit...okay, I'm impressed. Why though?"
I frown. "What do you mean why though?"
"Why did you kiss him?" Nora asks.
I try to remember if there was something specific about last night that made me want to kiss him. I remember things getting heated as we both kept moving closer to each other. Then I remember the things he had been saying, things like there was things he said and then there was things he wanted to say.
"He said that letting me break up with him was the worst decision he ever made. Then we started talking about...that dress." I give Nora a look.
She frowns for a minute before she connects the dots. Her mouth opens, her eyes sparkling. "Oh...and what did he say?"
"What dress?" Tyler asks.
Nora turns her head to look at him. "The dress she wore at the midyear party."
"Don't recall it." he shakes his head.
Nora turns to wink at me. "Good because it was very NSFW."
I snort, rolling my eyes. "It was not."
"It was very un-you."
I nod. I'll give her that, that dress was a big step out of my comfort zone. "He told me he's been thinking about me too." I whisper to the growing silence.
Tyler looks slightly uncomfortably making a face, and I don't blame him. Nora on the hand looks like a kid on Christmas morning. She sits up, crossing her legs. "As in the same thing as your bean flicking sessions thinking?"
I nod, avoiding looking at Tyler. I'm comfortable him knowing some things but not so much that. We might be becoming closer friends but this might just be breaching the line that shouldn't be crossed.
Nora makes an excited noise, clapping her hands. "He has been acting weird lately, Tyler said so."
"Yeah, but that kind of weird?" I shrug.
Tyler laughs quietly behind Nora. "I would definitely say so." He answers.
"What makes you say that?" I ask, curious. I can't say I've noticed Bryce acting weird but I'm not around him all the time like Tyler.
"I know because it's how I was acting..." he trails off. I don't mistake the way he looks at Nora with a certain look in his eyes. I completely understand what he means now. I remember watching these two interact with each other before they told each other how they felt.
It was very obvious, to me at least, that Tyler was in deep with her crushing hard. Same as Nora, even though she refused to admit it out loud.
Nora sighs happily. "You're being cute..." she waves him off turning her attention back to me. "I think its safe to say Bryce definitely wants you back in his life. What else happened last night? Did you guys just kiss?"
I nod. "Um so Jason was in the lounge room and spoke up...Bryce suggested we go back to his room to talk but then I started panicking."
"About what?"
I draw in a deep breath and hold it for a moment before huffing it out. "What if I just like the idea of him...I can't just throw caution to the wind and go out on a whim, we have history...a lot of it and I just...I don't know..."
"Maybe you should talk to Bryce when you're both sober." Tyler suggests.
I snort, shaking my head. I put my legs onto the bed, crossing my ankles. "I agree, talk it out when you're sober. Tell him like you're telling us, get it all out there and see if you guys are on the same page." Nora agrees with him.
I sigh. "What if I don't know how I feel?"
"How do you feel about Bryce then?" Nora asks.
I press my lips together, flexing my toes and choose to concentrate on them then the two people staring at me expectantly. How do I feel about Bryce?
I've had a lot of emotions and memories flooding back into my head lately. I've been thinking about all the times we've spent together and remembering just how good we were together. I have no doubt in my mind that we could be that great again but what if it isn't the same? What if we decide to be together and it's all wrong?
What if his pieces don't match mine anymore? Maybe these two are onto something about talking to Bryce while sober. I need to tell him all this, get it off my chest and see where his head is at. I draw in a deep breath.
"I think I need to talk to Bryce." I tell them.
Nora grins, nodding. "I'll tell him to stay sober for tonight's party." She rolls off the bed, grabbing her phone from the bedside table.
I frown. "There's a party tonight?"
Tyler sighs. "Jason's idea."
"Wait, don't tell Bryce I want to talk to him!" I yell at Nora.
She lifts a brow. "What? Why not? Whatever I'll just tell him to not drink tonight."
Tyler laughs. "Yeah, babe I don't think he's going to listen to you."
Nora rolls her eyes. "Fine, you do it then. Tell him now so he doesn't decide to start early."
Tyler reaches for his phone just as someone knocks at the door. The doorknob wobbles but its locked. "Hey Nora, you seen Emily?" Nicola is on the other side of the door.
Nora crosses the room, pulling the door open. "She's here, why?"
Nicola's eyes find me before she looks to Tyler. She looks a little puzzled by what she's found but doesn't say anything. I guess if I'm going to try to make things work with Bryce I'm going to have to tell her and Tia about our history. Only seems fair.
"What's up?" I stand up from the chair.
"Ah Bryce is downstairs; he's looking for you."
Nora turns to me, gasping. "Oh my gosh, he's HERE! Go!" she shoves me towards the door.
Nicola frowns. "What's going on?"
"Don't worry, I'll fill you." Nora tells her. I walk pass the girls and peer over the railing to the lounge room. Bryce is standing off to the side, close to the front door. He must sense someone looking at him because he turns, looking up at me.
I catch his blue eyes and draw in a deep breath. I rub my fingertips together, wondering if this is it. I should just go down there, telling what's going in my head and ask what he's got going on in his head and go from there. The worse that can happen is we aren't on the same page and we both move beyond it.
Well, here goes nothing.
**