After me and Tobias say goodbye to all of our friends, we clean his house together because they made a mess. I find myself thinking about my family, and all of the mess that's happened over the past couple of weeks. I don't know why I was being so rude to my mother, she technically didn't do anything wrong. She didn't hurt me like my father did, and she didn't discomfit me like Caleb did.
I still love my mother. She didn't abash me when she found out that me and Tobias had sex, it was my father and Caleb who did. If it was just my mother in the house, I'd go back and try to work it out. Apologize for my heinous actions. My mother didn't deserve any odiousness, my father and Caleb deserve it.
Respect isn't given, it's earned.
I need to go and talk to her, forgive her. The ink on my collarbone symbolizes my love for my family, it's not supposed to epitomize my repugnance for them. I was unreasonable being so hard towards my mother, but I can justify that with my father and Caleb.
1. Caleb totally denigrated Tobias and my relationship with him by saying he was no good, which isn't true.
2. My father caused me to have a wrap around my wrist. He abused me, he made me bleed.
What if he'll turn into Marcus?
The thought of that makes me cringe with horror. I remember the talk me and Tobias had about my father, about how he managed the abuse, how he stayed strong throughout that whole ordeal. But I don't know if I'll be able to do that. I'm too weak.
I put down the trash I have in my hand and sit on the ground next to the coffee table, and I just stare off into space. All I'm doing is thinking. I'm overwhelmed with thoughts, and I just start crying. Senselessly crying.
I hear a door open and I immediately look over my shoulder and see Tobias. The look on his face, especially his eyes, is worrisome.
"Tris." He says, his voice sounding soft. Angelic like.
"Yeah?" I sniff and rub my eyes.
"What're you thinking about that's got you so upset?" He says while crouching down next to me.
"Family. My mother did nothing wrong, and I made her cry."
"You're regretting they way you acted?" He asks, looking into my eyes.
I love his eyes. They're so calm, and just pretty. The light is hitting them, so I see the dark blue. I love it when the lighting makes his eyes look brown or black, it adds that look of mysteriousness to him.
"I am regretting how I was towards my mother, not toward my father or Caleb."
"I can definitely understand why you acted the way you did to your father, but what did Caleb do?"
"He said that you're no good for me. Which isn't true. We fit. Like two puzzle pieces." I state.
"We do fit. Doesn't matter what anyone else says, we love each other, and that's what's important." He says and smiles at me. We kiss and I sigh.
"That never fails to make me feel better." I whisper against his lips.
"I love you, Tris Prior." He smiles.
"I love you too, Tobias Eaton."
I sniffle again and try to pull myself together.
"Do I look like I've been crying?"
"Hmm...," he says, playfully inspecting my face. "No Tris, you look tough as nails."
That eventually leads to me and Tobias...you know.
We lay on the couch and cuddle together.
"So, what're you gonna do about your family?" He says breathing heavily. I sit up and look at him.
"I'm gonna talk to my mother. I was such a bitch to her."
"You're not a bitch, Tris. Don't say that about yourself." He says, softening his voice again.
"Well I acted like one!" I exclaim.
"Tris, baby." He says, pulling me into a hug. "It's okay, you can go talk to her. Your mother seems like a very forgiving person. She loves you a lot, I can tell. Go."
"You think I'll be able to-"
"Go. If you don't express how you feel now, your feelings may never get out."
"God, I love you so much." I smile.
"I love you too." He kisses me again and strokes my cheek. "Now go."
I get up and pull my shorts and t- shirt on and grab my shoes and wait in Tobias's car so he can drop me off at my house. He comes out of the house and we drive in complete silence.
"I'm scared. What if my father's there?"
"Hold your pretty head up high." He says and I laugh.
"You wanna come in with me just in case?"
"You sure?" He sounds hesitant.
"Please." I beg.
"Okay, c'mon. Let's go."
We walk up to the front door. My hand wavers for a few seconds before I press the doorbell. My heart accelerates.
My mother answers the door. She looks happy and shocked.
"Beatrice." She gasps.
"Mom." I say.
"Tobias." She says, sounding more stern.
"Mrs. Prior." He says. I feel his hand grab mine and I exhale.
"What're you doing here Beatrice? I thought you're still angry at-"
"Mom, I came to talk to you. Only you. Please, can I come in?"
"Of course." She says and beckons us inside.
I feel like it's been years since I've been home, even though it's only been weeks.
I guess that's what being away from your family does to you.
"What do you want to talk to me about?" She asks before sipping some tea.
"I want to apologize. I don't know why I was so cruel to you, it was just my defense mechanism. I shouldn't have made you cry, that was so uncalled for. I shouldn't have called you a bitch, you didn't deserve any of my anger. I'm sorry you were in my line of fire. I miss you mom, I really do. I love you mom, will you forgive me?"
"Of course honey. C'mere." She says before smiling and pulling me into a much-needed hug.
I've missed her warm hugs, too.
"I love you Beatrice." She whispers in my ear and kisses my temple.
"I'm sorry mom. I'm sorry that I-"
"It's fine sweetheart, it's so fine."
Tobias smiles at me and then hugs my mother.
"I'm sorry too if it seemed like I was being disrespectful to you that day you and Mr. Prior came to my house."
"It's okay Tobias."
Finally, I have a weight off of my shoulders. I don't feel regret anymore because my mother forgave me and Tobias. I'm glad she took me back into her loving arms.
Now, how am I going to do the same for my father and Caleb?
Through my mother.