{Beverly}
The feeling when your whole world comes crashing down. When my whole life I've believed that my mother died due to an accident.
The word 'dad' comes out of my mouth with a bitter taste. A heavy heart and a dead brain.
My own dad killed my mom.
I grew up believing that it was an accident.
My dad is planning to kill me.
For property.
Here's a thing about my panic attacks.
They start by shaking of my hands, then my legs go weak and suddenly I can't breathe anymore.
Suddenly all the voices around me become absolutely silent and the only thing I can hear is my irregular breathing. I need pumpkin.
I need him to hold me, to tell me it's okay , to tell me that he'll be there for me. Always.
My vision starts to blur, I can hear the crushing of paper caused by my fist. Inside was mama's torn letter.
They murdered her. And now, they'll do the same to me.
I hold the table with my shaky hands and gather courage to call the first person that shows up in my call logs.
"Hello?" His voice echoes in my room, I bite my lip trying to control my tears.
My legs go numb and I fall on the floor.
They killed her.
"Hello? Tellytub? You there" Jan questions, I want to answer. I really do, but all I can do is sniff back my tears and crack my fingers.
"Where are you? I'm coming to pick you up" he finally makes making me feel a little better.
"M-mama's h-ho-house" . I could hear the jingling of his keys, i could hear him start his car and drive off.
Jan was there for me.
I don't know how long I sat there, staring at the ceiling, warm and salty tears falling from my eyes as I pat Gracy's head who was now tired of wiping my tears.
My dad killed his wife.
And just like that, I hear the honking of a car. Jan's car. Not being bothered about anything, I silently pick Gracy up and pack her bags with all her necessities.
Jan bangs open the door, making me flinch. He cradles my face in his warm hands and pulls me into a bear hug.
"I'm here little tubby. I'm here. Don't worry" he continues whispering it in my ears as we walk down. He continues rubbing my back.
He opens the door for me without any noise and straps me in. He then picks gracy up and strap her to the backseat.
"I'm taking you home. Bridget, Austria and aurora as waiting for you all. There's worried Beverly " he said as a matter of fact. My friends were worried about me. More like my family.
A family that didn't want me dead. A family bound with love and care , not with hate and fake faces.
Breathe clover, you're fine. It's okay. You're fine.
"My love, my baby. You're okay" his words ring in my ears.
"See, listen to my voice. Count with me. Try to count baby"
"Come on" Jan extends his hand. I didn't realise we had already reached his place.
I forward my shaky hands and he holds me as I regain my strength to stand.
"I'll carry you, come" he pats his back and helps me cling onto his back . He smiled at me as we walked inside.
"I don't like to see you cry, Beverly. As an elder brother it makes me sad" he said sadly, making me frown.
"I-I am sorry. I'll t-try." He shook his head , telling me not to Apologise.
As we reach the living room, I find austria and aurora setting the table. With all my favourite snacks.
Tears that had dried up again started to wet my eyes.
I rush towards them and hug them both. They wrap their arms around me and rub my back.
"Shh. We're all here" aurora whispered as she rubs my back.
"Where's my hug ladies?" Bridget comes holding a bag of M&M's. She walks towards up and covers the gap . A few minutes later, Jan joins aswell.
"Thankyou s-so much" I wipe my tears with my sleeves . They frown and make me sit on the couch.
"Tubby it's all good. We are always here for you. Don't worry" they comfort me and put on my favourite movie with snacks on the table.
I'm so grateful for them . Everyday.
___________________________________
3 days later
"Pretty girl" my boyfriend calls me as I finish my assignments. We were on a video call, he had his camera turned off due to some reason, he wouldn't tell me.
"Hmm" I hum distracted already.
"Pay attention baby" his voice was deep but soft. I put my pen inside the book and close it. Turning all my attention to him.
"There we go" he chuckled making me blush deep.
"Moya dusha, open the door" he said suddenly making me halt in my movements.
"Wh-" I hear a knock on Jan's door. I put the Moana softie he gave me on the bed carefully.
I rush towards the door, not caring about how messy I look.
With shaky hands and fast breathing I open the door. Holy cheeseballs.
My boyfriend stood at the door, leaning against it. Dressed in a pair of black trousers and black shirt. He looked absolutely handsome with his first three shirt buttons undone . ruffled hair and his rings and chain in place. His tattoos were on display as his sleeves were rolled up. His piercing grey eyes meet mine and they immediately soften .
"Baby" He says as he picked me up, making me wrap my legs around his waist. He hugs me tight, so tight. As if he's afraid to let me go.
His cold minty breath against my ears makes me shiver. He carried me to the room and sat me in the bed with me on his lap.
"Why weren't you home?" He asked and suddenly everything that happened 3 days back, comes rushing back like a flood , taking away all my happiness from me.
I tell him everything. Everything.
The letter, the contact, mama's death, planning against me.
And for the first time, nikolai looked as if he didn't want me to talk. As if, he didn't want to listen to me talk about It. As if, he already knew everything.
And it hits me, he knew. He knew who killed mama. How I was going to be killed.
He knew how attached I'd become and then maybe he'd use me for the property.
After all he's my dad's bestfriend.
That's when, I get up from his lap and softly hold his hand.
He looks at me with a pained expression, a strange way. I softly hold his wrist and take off my scrunchie from his hand.
" can you leave? Please" he was about to say something
When I cut his words off and jerk my hand away from his.
"Please"
He gets up quietly nodding at me. and closed the door behind me.
You deserve it.
My pumpkin, was no more mine. He was just a man who used me for what he could gain from me.
I'll miss you, pumpki- Mr. Petrov. The moments I spent with him, will always be the most precious and beautiful times of my life.
Author's note
My baby, she's suffering sm 😭
Nikolai better apologize or else I'll whoop his ass.