He caressed Rosalyn's fingers and looked deep into her eyes. Alan could see the longing and sadness in her facial features. The more time he spent with her, the more intense his feelings for her became, which seemed to overwhelm him at the moment. For the first time, his mind went blank. He didn't know how he should continue to behave in her presence. He didn't really want to talk about something as banal as their future collaboration. They had been working together for almost two years now, so what was there to talk about? He would much rather speak about other topics, which he planned to do. The only thing that changed between them was that they wouldn't see each other every day in the future, since Rosalyn wouldn't be coming to his house. "Today I would like to clarify and conclude the tiresome subject with you once and for all, as I would rather talk about other things with you. I hope you haven't changed your mind and you'll continue to be my assistant, because I wouldn't bear not to see you anymore. It would be nice if you would start working for me again tomorrow, but of course the decision is ultimately yours." Waiting, he looked at Rosalyn. Slowly, he released her fingers so he wouldn't step too close to her. He hadn't been thinking at all when he touched her hand. It had been purely instinctive, but it didn't seem as if she had minded.
"I will continue to work for you, it's just a pity that we won't see each other so often anymore," she spoke out unintentionally honestly. "I will nevertheless keep my appointment with the agency tomorrow, as I don't want to cancel it. But after that, I'll take care of your concerns as soon as I get home. I'm afraid I won't be able to process your incoming post, as I don't have access to it."
"Yes I know, I've already noticed. I was putting the office together yesterday and sorting through the paperwork. It's no problem for me if you start later tomorrow. Just let me know as soon as you're done with your appointment." Wistfully, he thought about what would change in the future now that Alan finally admitted to himself that he felt more for her than was appropriate for a married man. But there was nothing he could do about his feelings. In truth, he had felt the bond with her for much longer, and it was developing rapidly and intensely right now. It frightened him and yet he enjoyed the deep feelings that were awakening in him.
Rosalyn smiled at him, leaning back in the comfy chair. "Well, if we've cleared that up. Is there anything else on your end?" she asked him thoughtfully, after all she knew about his trip to Paris. Actually, he was supposed to let her know so she could cancel the appointments for the coming weekend.
Alan now leaned back as well and put his hands in his lap. Slightly he tilted his head and looked at her questioningly. He wondered what he should say to her. "No, I can't think of anything right now. I'm looking forward to our meal. If I'm honest, all I'm thinking about is that it was a good idea to meet here with you. Now, let's finally taste the white wine. It's one of the best I know." He raised his glass and waited for his assistant to do likewise. "Here's to a lovely evening," he toasted her with their wine glass.
They both enjoyed the pleasantly cool wine, which tasted light and fruity. No sooner had they set down their glasses than the waiter entered the room, bringing a tray full of delicacies. Rosalyn looked over the wonderful food, it all looked so exquisite and fresh, no comparison to ordinary restaurant meals. During dinner, the two had a light conversation, talking about trivial matters and a few work-related ones. Alan did not lose a single sentence regarding the weekend trip.
By now some time had passed during dinner and Rosalyn could stand it no longer. He still hadn't said a word about France. She couldn't drag this subject out any longer. What could happen if she admitted that she had read his emails by mistake, after all, this would not be the first time this had happened. But she would wait for the main course; after all, she didn't want to ruin Alan's appetite.
Rickman noticed that his assistant had gone quiet. He watched her unobtrusively; it seemed that she was a little bothered. The evening was still young, so he didn't want to push her into anything. Eventually she would start talking on her own.
No sooner had they finished the delicious food than Rosalyn dabbed her mouth with the fine cloth napkin. "Alan, I have something to confess to you," she began to speak, finally not wanting to wait any longer to do so. Watching her attentively, the actor continued to wait to hear what she had to say. "I was setting up my workstation at home and updating the old computer. In the process, I looked through your e-mails, as usual. Involuntarily, meanwhile, I noticed that you have a short trip planned for the coming weekend. Unfortunately, two fixed dates fall on these days. I know it was rude of me, I didn't actually intend to read your private emails, it happened by accident." She looked bashfully at Rickman. She would have liked to run away, but she had to pay for this misery. Alan's face contorted into a grimace, so she already feared the worst.
"Don't remind me of Paris, please," came from him, annoyed. That was what was bothering her all the time while they were enjoying the wonderful meal? Somewhat irritated, but not at all angry with her, he had to collect himself first to find the right words. This was the subject he would have least expected.
"I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention. Tell me how I can make it up to you," Rosalyn begged. His expression had changed; she feared an outburst of temper on his part.
"Rosalyn, calm down! My reaction has absolutely nothing to do with you, but with Mary. She wasn't able to take into account the appointments that were already in place to spare me this awkward situation. You know, I'm trying to save my relationship right now. But I don't know if I'm fighting a losing battle or if I even want to continue the marriage. Actually, I had planned to have dinner with Mary today. It's just that, unfortunately, we've spoken next to nothing since yesterday after a phone call." Sincerely, he looked toward his assistant. It just made him wonder why he was so open with her. It felt good that he had finally released his pent-up frustration. No one but her, now knew about his precarious situation that prevailed in his private life.
Rosalyn did not know how to react to his words. His marriage was not under a good star, was even threatening to break up? But she immediately forgot all that at the same moment, because she just realized why she was actually sitting here. Once again, she had only been a stopgap. She could no longer withstand his gaze, so she lowered her head. "Alan, it's better if I leave now," she murmured, "you're definitely sitting at this table with the wrong person today. If I had known in advance that you were only inviting me because you were having problems with your wife, I wouldn't have come at all." Deeply disappointed with the situation and her feelings caused by this realization, she would have preferred to cry. She already noticed that her vision was getting blurry. She had to get out of here, and right away. It would have been a miracle, too, if he had made this effort for her. Without looking at him, she stood up. "I'm leaving now, I'll hear you on Monday after I've been to the agency."
Only when his assistant was about to get up did he realize what he had said and how the words must have affected her. He had done everything wrong again, what was with him? The problems with his wife and the feelings for Rosalyn overwhelmed him, he was just a man and completely overloaded with his current situation. Famous actor, husband and an old fool in love were just too many things at once, which is why everything was overloading him. Quickly he stood up as well, he couldn't let the situation stand like this. "Wait Rosalyn, I didn't mean it that way at all. I couldn't think of a better person to spend this evening with tonight! It's driving me crazy that we won't be seeing each other regularly anymore." Meanwhile, Alan stood next to his assistant and gently touched her upper arm. "Were you even listening to me?" he asked her, "I want to apologize to you for my carelessly chosen words."
When Rosalyn did not immediately respond to his statement, he was finally overwhelmed. But when she lifted her head to face him, he could see her tear-streaked face. He acted instinctively and took her in his arms to comfort her. "I'm sorry," he whispered touched, and hugged her protectively.