Someone lit up a firework inside of me. It started in my chest, and raced through my veins, all the way down to my toes; like all my nerves short-circuited before going into overdrive.
Oh, God. I was kissing Killian and it was...great. Amazing. Was kissing supposed to be this good?
One of his hands was on my neck while the other wrapped around my waist, gentle, protective. Like I was precious. I never felt precious.
He stopped, his lips hovering above mine. I gasped. What just happened? My thoughts were all mushed. His heart drummed beneath my palm, racing just as much as mine.
"Shit," he mumbled, resting his forehead against my own. "I—"
My hands slipped around his neck and this time I cut him off with a kiss. His tongue slipped into my mouth and my mind went blank. I arched my back as heat licked at my insides, twirling, and rising until I trembled in his arms. He devoured me with a desperation that made me wonder how long he'd wanted to do this.
My legs shook as desire pooled in my stomach. I felt giddy, nervous, horny, confused—everything at once. The pressure of his strong palms against my back, the warmth of his body, his taste in my mouth, the familiar scent of him. I was drowning in him.
His lips moved to the side of my mouth and his husky voice sent shivers down my back. "Breathe, Princess."
I took a breath.
He shifted me in his arms so that my cheek rested against his shoulder. His hand trailed along my back, up my neck, and over my head. My eyes closed on their own as his fingers spread wide, applying pressure over the base of my nape and behind my ears.
They kept massaging my head, alternating between a gentle fist that tugged on my hair and an open palm that kneaded my scalp. It was like he knew exactly where to touch, where to apply just the right amount of pressure to release the knots and tension that had been building up the last couple of weeks. Each movement sent ripples of pleasure down my spine. The sensation spread through every inch of my body like I was being caressed and soothed at the same time.
It was kind of scary how good it felt.
Killian had magic hands. I didn't know how else to explain it. My limbs just stopped responding, seemingly made out of pudding. Like a photon crossing the event horizon of a black hole, I was stuck with no escape.
I usually hated when people touched my skin but for some reason, that didn't apply to him. Then again nothing seemed to apply to him. I never liked to argue but he made it so easy. Then he always seemed to pop up at the right time even though I hated relying on others.
Guys usually wanted one thing anyways. But with him it was different. I felt...safe. Like I could be myself.
I didn't know for how long we stayed like this. Time was relative. One second stretched into hours. It could have been hours, still, it is was over way too fast.
The door opened with a loud bang and I jerked as if somebody had doused me with a bucket full of ice water. I automatically pushed at Killian's chest and he stepped back, his hands falling to his side.
Footsteps approached and I jumped down, suddenly panicked. Killian kept his gaze on me, looking as lost as I felt. Before either of us could say anything, Suz rounded the corner, Cody close on her heels.
"There you are," she said. "Let's go. I'm so done with this place." Then she looked between us and came to an abrupt halt, probably noticing the strange atmosphere.
Killian blinked and his usual mask slipped back in place. I hardened myself but something seemed to squeeze at my heart. I looked away.
What just happened?
The walk to Suz's car was nerve-racking. I pinched my arm. That hurt. Okay, so I wasn't stuck in some super realistic dream which meant this actually just happened. I focused on putting one foot in front of the other, trying to force myself not to think. An impossible feat when I could feel Killian's eyes burning holes into my back.
In the end, it was Suz who saved me. My body had switched to autopilot as she dragged me along, joking and talking, and all I had to do was nod and laugh at the right moments. I even faced the guys and said goodbye in a somewhat normal voice, like Killian's hands hadn't just changed my phase into a liquid state. Like my insides weren't screaming at me to look at him. To touch him.
As soon as my butt hit the seat, my brain seemed to lag out. Before I knew it, I was pushing the keys inside the lock of my apartment.
"Tay?" Suz called, slipping out of her shoes. Judging by the tone of her voice it hadn't been the first time. Startled, I looked up to see her staring at me with narrowed eyes. "You've been spacing out ever since I took you away from Killian. Did you two fight again?"
Still stuck in a daze, I walked to the couch and dropped. "Not exactly..."
She followed behind. "Then spill. Was it Chris? Did he do something?"
"Um..." Suddenly, it was too much. I had to talk. Words spilled from my mouth as I recounted the events that somehow led up to me kissing Killian. Oh my God. I had made out with Killian.
"What? He said that?" Suz gasped, grinning from ear to ear.
I folded my legs beneath me and hugged one of my couch pillows. "Yeah... How can he say I'm annoying and then kiss me, right?" I grumbled very much aware that my face was on fire.
"Sweetie, you should read between the lines a bit. Basically what he said was that he can't stop thinking about you no matter what he does. And wasn't he just acting a little jealous about Jared and Chris?" She chuckled evilly under her breath. "Oh, it serves him right to suffer a bit after being mean to you in the first place."
I shifted in my seat. Did Killian like me? The thought send alarm bells through my brain while my stomach did somersaults. He knew more about me than I liked to think about, plus he had witnessed some of my worst moments lately. Why would he like me after all that?
"I don't know, maybe he got confused or something," I said after a while.
Her lips pinched. "I think you are the one confused here. And on that note; Chris made it sound like you were trying to get back with him. Can you believe the nerve?"
"I see," I muttered. Maybe I was confused. I just couldn't wrap my head around it. Even when I had started liking Killian, I had shut down those feelings immediately. If we would get together, one way or another, my skin would become an issue. And what then? My heart gave an uncomfortable squeeze.
"You don't seem to care?" Suz probed.
"A-about Killian?"
"About what Chris said. Isn't that exactly the kind of thing you wanted to avoid?"
On that note, I had completely forgotten about the pranks after Killian and I... Oh, God. I buried my face inside my palms. How would I ever face him again after this?
"Earth to Tay?"
I lifted my head, my skin buzzing with a strange restless energy. "Y-yeah?"
She settled back into the couch and grinned. "Oh, dear. I see how it is..."
I wanted to throw something at her. "No, I-I just keep thinking. I don't know if I want to start another relationship... I seem to suck at it. And you know about my skin," I added in a small voice. She was the only one I could admit this to. "It's, well... It has always become an issue eventually."
"But didn't your skin get much better?"
My chuckle sounded hollow. "Yeah. But how do I say this? Whenever I'm in a relationship it gets bad. Like it's affecting it. And then it's only a matter of time until..." Something got stuck in my throat and I blinked rapidly. "Well, until you know, it's over."
She reached out and grabbed my hand. "You don't have to rush into anything. Take your time and think about it. I don't think Killian expects anything else anyways, or did he already ask you out?"
"No," I said, frowning. "Why wouldn't he expect anything?"
She gave me a knowing smile. "Does that make you unhappy?"
Argh.
"Killian didn't fall on his head," she continued. "He knows you're a bit closed off. If he tried to rush things, you'd just shut him down without even considering it."
Why did I suddenly feel like an open book? "I don't know. I just didn't see it coming, like at all," I admitted. "And it's Killian. We—do we even fit together? We just fight more than half of the time."
"But not in a bad way."
"What do you mean?"
Her shoulders lifted. "I'm just saying. Actually, I feel like he's helping you. He's pushing you to be yourself in a way, and I don't think it's a bad thing. As long as he doesn't push you too hard. It still has to come from you."
I pondered that for a moment. She might be right. I had gotten more used to saying my opinion since I'd met him. And also less flexible with my boundaries.
"Argh, I don't know." Although I did. I was just scared.
"Well, take your time—"
My phone beeped, interrupting our conversation with a text message. I could only stare at it, completely frozen.
Suz bent forward and plucked it out of my grasp.
I burrowed my face inside the pillow. "Who is it?"
She chuckled. "Killian, of course."
"So, what does it say?" I asked, wringing my hands.
"He's asking if you made it home."
"Give it to me." I snatched my phone back and stared at the text message. A nervous flutter spread through my stomach and up to my chest. My finger hovered over the keys.
No, I had to be realistic. There was no point in getting my hopes up. Not if my skin could backlash at any time.
"What did you say?" Suzy asked.
"That I got home fine."
"That's it?" She sounded disappointed.
"Yeah—" My phone received another text message. I didn't want to seem too eager, but after contemplating, I quickly grabbed it again.
Sherlock: Sweet dreams, Princess.
My heart stopped for a second.
He was killing me.