Two years later~
Valentina's pov~
''Valentina! Hurry up! Go take the order of table no 6'',my boss,Emily shouted at me as I was again immersed in my own thoughts .
I sighed,and walked towards the directed table, and took the order from the family ,with two small kids ,almost of the same age , and their parents.
When I was about to turn around and walk away ,I felt like something bumped into my left leg ,I looked down and saw the same little boy ,who was just now sitting with his family members ,hugged my legs.
He was looking up at me ,with his wide doe black eyes and a cheeky grin ,I could feel the kid's mother tensing up beside me suddenly .
I smiled and caressed the little kid's head and asked him ,''What's your name little boy ?''
He replied shyly,''My name is Alex''
''You have a beautiful name ,alex''I said while ruffling his hairs with a slight chuckle .
''What's your name ?''Alex asked me .
''Valentina'' I replied simply.
''Will you be my valentine ,Valentina'' Alex asked me ,and my eyes slightly broadened and my lips parted and an involuntary chuckle of amusement left my lips.
''Sure Alex! I would love to!'' I replied ,still smiling.
''Don't mind him ,miss ,he is too much mischievous ''Alex's father said.
''No No ,I don't really mind him ,he is such a cute kid'' I said while looking down at the kid .
''He just has this weird habit of clinging on to strangers ,we can't help it ,You are the first one who didn't push him ,The others would always shove him away !''Alex's mother said to me ,while smiling .
''That's rude ! He is such a small shiny ball of sunshine ,The one who shove him are definitely stupid.His innocence is extremely worthy of being cherished because gaining sense of rationality and individuality ,sucks!'' I said and noticed Alex's mother's lips curling downward ,I realized that I said too much in the flow so I quickly changed the topic.
''let me bring you guys your order !''
TIME SKIPS ~
The sun was about to set now.
'A lot of things have changed in these two years ,' I thought and sighed to myself while staring at the sun which was just in front of me ,just parallel to me.
I just got my departure from the cafe ,I am working in .
Right now ,I am standing on a bridge ,above the lake ,This bridge is a very good place to enjoy the sunset view ,I can see a lot of people standing on this bridge just like me ,
Well ,they are not really like me ! Some youngsters are here with their partners ,grandparents are sitting their with their grandchildren on the bench ,enjoying the sunset view ,some newly made couples are having the euphoric moments of their life with their partners ,everyone present here ,has someone to talk to , someone with whom they can laugh ,cry ,but Here it is me ,all alone , alone not in just this place but in this whole world ,This bridge falls on the way to my house.
My house ,is not a home anymore ,It doesn't feels like home now ,Because I have no one in their who would welcome me ,cook food for me ,and would be eager to hear about my day.
Thinking about all this ,my throat clogged up and tears pooled my eyes !
Everyday ! Everyday I cry over her ! It's been two years but still the grief inside me for losing her hasn't reduced even a bit ,instead it has clogged up into a big lump ,which always makes me aware of it's presence in my throat whenever I think about my past.
Past is always full of laughter ,and minimum bad memories ,Present is full of complaints ,struggles and dis-satisfaction ,carelessness and procrastination and future is full of hope and uncertainity ,a paradox indeed.
They together make the four letter word ,what we call life .
When I now look back ,i just feel regret , regret for not cherishing the best moments of my life ,in a better way with her.
I dont remember much about how much i had fought with her since my childhood ,but the only thing that my brain can remeber is her gentle smile and brown eyes filled with pure love and sincerity for me .
I miss her !
I breathed in through my nose and realised that it was all clogged up ,just like my throat ,my eyes were burning .
I was crying ! Again!!
I breathed in through my lips and held the breath in my chest for a while ,trying to contain the sob that was about to bubble out of my chest and escape through my lips .
I hate it ! I hate to cry ! I always get a headache and mild fever ,whenever I cry ,and since I have to earn for my living ,I just can't bear the risk to fall sick , so I have to take paracetamol ,In order to get well soon ,but since the last two years ,this particular pain killer has become my companion since two years.
It's a heavy dose ,and since i take it almost on a daily basis ,my skin conditions have slighlty turned worse ,but I just don't have the time to tend to it ,my whole focus is to make a living ,and perceive my further education ,I am a second year B.com + CA student .
It was hard to manage all the stress in the early days ,but with time ,I have become used to it .
Time
Fucking slut !
Time is the biggest slut , whether this slut will fuck you solely depends on your luck ! That's what i believe! If your luck is good ,When you are god's favourite ,you would be feared and respected by this'slut' and when you are not god's favourite ,your life would become just as fucked up as mine currently is.
I and Anne were living a cozy life ,when everything changed.
For worse ,definitely.
Anne hided her illness from me for almost three months ,Thanks to my curiosity that i peeped into her reports ,which she said were some mere tests .
It turned out that she had leukemia.
I was devastated when I saw her reports ,I knew then only that the reason of her staying away from me was this illness ,
I felt like crying loudly ,and I did ....I did cry...Miserably ,patheticaly .
I fell on the ground and grabbed my hairs and pulled them and shedded tears ,unable toa accept the reality.
oh how much i cried ,begged to god to turn alll this into just a bad dream ,but it was a reality.
A heart wrenching reality .
She had only two more months to live .
I thought of confronting her ,but It was not in my fate .
The day I thought of confronting her was the day she attempted suicide .
I felt like my world collapsed from all the four directions ,all at once .
I hated her for leaving me alone like this ,for maintaining the secrecy about her illness from me and keeping me in dark all this while.
In the first month ,after her death ,The tears I shed were filled with anger and hatred for her ,mixed with the feeling of unworthiness ,pain and betrayal.
Mrs fitzgerald told me that ,Anne had left a letter for me ,before killing herself ,but I never opened it .
But after some months I opened it ,finally gathering the courage ,and immediately the anger was replaced with guilt ,when I read the letter.
I would never share the letter with any other soul in this world.
I still read that letter everyday ,every single sentence of that letter is precious to me.
Calista ,just a few months after ,Anne's death was kidnapped by some mafia.
Whereas ,Abriella....Well,she has not contacted me since last two years ,I once went to her house and saw that there was a lock on the door ,her neighbour told me that they have shifted to some other place.
I smirked sadly 'The one who promised to stay by my side always ,left me in my low ''
My only two companions whom I considered as my friends left me .
With this thought,tears pooled my eyes again ,but I harshly wiped it.
No ,I wont cry for them ,They dont caree for me ,then why should I waste my energy on them.
It was almost dark ,the sun had set completely ,while I was immersed in my thoughts.
I walked away and reached my home.
Closing the door I went in and climbed upstairs to my bedroom and after washing my face and changing my clothes ,I laid on the bed.
Mrs.fitzgerald after calista's disappearence ,stays sick most often ,so her library's responsibilty has also fallen on my shoulders .
So I have to go there on alternate days and and take care of her library in the evening .
After Anne's death ,she had started to pay me for the services I rendered in the library.
Although ,I was of the opinion ,that it would not be appropriate ,she still forced me to accept the amount as a thanks giving from her.
I would stay by her side always ,she is also alone now ,just like me ,I can understand her pain .
Although she is a lot more efficient ,experienced and wiser than me and can support herself on her own ,I would still be there for her always,
Hope calista is well!
When the responsibilities came on my shoulders ,I failed to keep track of my hobbies , I had stopped reading ,learning new languages ,dancing and singing.
My only aim is to become an Independent women and fullfill my dream of becoming a CA,
That was her dream too.
I have decided to not get involved in dating ,or realationships ,my life is already hard and I just can't make it more complicated by getting stuck with a boy ,suffering from ,daddy issues or childhood trauma or horny issues.
I just can't waste any more time in these things ,although there are a lot of 'gem of a men' but I don't have the patience and courage in me anymore to search for that gem in a factory of coal.
At this point ,I would prefer to just go with the flow and accept whatever life would offer me at this point .
With all these thoughts in my mind ,I let the sleep consume me .
Author's pov
Valentina ,was so broken and traumatized that she had lost the courage to take risks and had turned rigid .
She had now gotten so used to her loneliness ,that it had started to seem as a golden space to her ,full of peace.
She now just wanted to achieve her goals ,while abiding by the plans she had formed in her mind for herself.
Valentina was now void of all the emotions and excitement that a normal person secretly or maybe openly has towards their life ,their partner .
She now just wanted peace .
No more hurdles and adventures.
But she was unaware of the storm her destiny and fate had brewed together for her ,and she was going to be thrown in that storm .
For good or for worse?
For good definitely!
Long ,boring yet informative chapter ,if I would have skipped this information ,you guys wold have felt lost and would have find it hard to link and understand the storyline.
So this chapter was important according to me.
Next chap will be about how drastically Ambroz's life has changed in these two years,
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Author sylvie