A week into her prison, Theia was ready to claw her eyes out. Despite her efforts, Nyx continued to tear into her mind each day. He'd been skipping training so that he had 'full time' with Theia. She tried to sleep on the couch multiple times, but woke up to him carrying her up to his bed. The only gentle thing he did was hold her in his sleep and kiss her tears when she cried. Other than that, each touch and word was harsh enough to feel like a sharp blade on her skin.
She'd complained about her shifts at the tavern, and Nyx claimed that he'd gone to tell Nico and Elena that Theia won't be returning to work. When she worried about her money, Nyx had said he'd take care of her. Theia hated that most of all. She tried to bite him when he force fed her meals or poured water down her throat, she'd claw when he'd tear her clothes off and force her into the bath.
Nyx thought he was saving her, but he was simply digging her into a deeper hole. Theia felt like a shell of a person, feeling that abyss rise each time he pulled off her clothes or shoved a fork between her teeth. All that rage she'd built slowly dissipated into nothing. Even though he'd prod at her mind and find nothing, he still tried to aggravate her. He'd call her names, tease her for having to be in the bathing chamber with her every time she needed relief, anything she did had a crude remark from Nyx. She no longer felt real.
Now, sitting in the tub with a too low water level, she didn't even try to cover herself from Nyx's gaze. She stared at the mirror, staring at a creature she'd never known. Theia succumbed to Nyx's desire to turn her into a doll that he washed, fed, and held. She didn't believe his efforts were for her, otherwise he would've noticed that she was nothing more than a body. Her mind was blank, her expression bare.
"Time to get out," Nyx murmured from against the wall. His arms were crossed, eyes on hers. One thing she was grateful for was that his eyes and hands never wandered when he'd strip her bare. It made her believe he wasn't using her situation against her. Theia stood, water rushing down her skin. Nyx pushed off from the wall and handed her a towel, which she ran over herself before wrapping around her body.
He gripped her hand to help her climb from the tub and led her to the door. Her chest felt hollow, she didn't feel her pulse. There was no other hint at her life than the mind that stayed awake. She let him lead her to his bedroom, stared at the window as he tugged his own shirt over her body. He stood back and frowned at her, though Theia made no move under his eye.
"Theia." He spoke her name so gently, it forced her eyes to shift to him. His throat bobbed as he tilted his head, studying her. He stepped forward lifting his hand. She thought she'd flinch, but her body remained in place. His hand slid along her jaw, so gentle she thought she'd fall. Fingers looped into her hair, rubbing small circles against her scalp. It was rare for him to touch her in such a way unless she was curled into his side.
"How can you stay alive if this is who you become?" He whispered, using his fingers in her hair to tip her head back. She obeyed, meeting his eyes for the first time in days.
"You made me this way," she responded, voice hoarse from no use. His brows shadowed his eyes, tongue running along his lips.
"I wanted to help you."
"You broke me."
He stared down at her, in a way that once made her want to tear his eyes out. She hated the feeling of his eyes studying her, but now she couldn't care less.
"What do you want?" He asked, as if she'd know. Theia wanted nothing more than to become one with the earth. It felt right, to open her body to the world and let flowers grow within her ribs that had been so barren.
"You know the answer to that," she responded, voice cracking. Theia hated that sound.
"Are you even alive?" He asked, throat bobbing. All she could manage was a shrug. Perhaps she would be if she returned to her home. "Do you want me to make you feel alive? I'm good for one thing, Theia. I've only ever been good for one thing. Let me try."
She knew what he meant. Nyx always claimed that sex was his only way to give, that he'd never be good enough to present anything more to a person. Three nights ago, when she laid on his chest, he spoke as though she were asleep. He talked about how he was only trying to help because he'd only ever taken. He sniffed as he spoke about how nobody ever truly cared about him more than the skills he developed intimately. That's all he knew to give, and he was trying to change that by nursing Theia back to life.
"I don't want you to please me if you don't desire it," Theia whispered, feeling his fingers tighten in her hair. He'd offered plenty of times. Theia considered it often because she remembered just how much she felt when his mouth was on her. She'd never experienced so much in her life, and she was almost sure if she could have it again, those lost emotions would find their way back to her.
"I can promise you that I want it," Nyx responded, tilting her head back further to brush his lips against hers. "I'll give you any piece of me to hear you scold me again. Hate me all you want, but hate me out loud."
She saw in his eyes just how much he wanted to give himself to her. There was pleading deep within those pools, searching for a way to rectify what he had been doing to her. She felt something tug in her stomach, pushing against her spine. Her body urged her to run from him, to remain in the bubble she'd created. Theia wanted to know what would come of his touch, so she ignored her every instinct. She rose onto her toes, letting their lips touch again.
Nyx pulled back, searching her eyes. He wanted more confirmation than her leaning into him. With a swallow, she gave him a nod. She expected him to swallow her whole, to devour her lips like he had those times before. Instead, he held her face as he brushed his mouth over hers, then gently laid his lips down. Warmth seemed to erupt through her. Theia felt the heat run from his tongue on her bottom lip through to her spine.
She hadn't expected it so soon, and she wanted more. She rose higher onto her toes, reaching up to cup the back of his neck. Her lips parted, inviting him in. Nyx welcomed himself and kissed her deeper. One hand caught her waist, dragging her closer. Theia sucked in a breath when his mouth dragged over her cheek, tasting the skin of her jaw.
"Can I touch you?" Nyx asked, flicking his tongue against her ear. Breathlessly, she nodded again. His hands dropped to the backs of her thighs, hoisting her up. He laid her back onto the bed, lips attached to the pulse she finally felt thrumming in her neck. His hand slid from her waist down her hip, hooking her knee and bringing it to his own waist. Theia held him in place between her thighs, letting him take his fill of her skin.
His other hand slid up the shirt, which was her only barrier to him. It was the morning, and he hadn't dressed himself yet besides loose lounging pants. Her stomach was bare, and then her breasts. His mouth left her throat to taste the rising peak of her breast, lips closing around the bud. Theia moaned, arching her back as his tongue flicked. His teeth closed around the sensitive skin, biting down as he ground his hips into her. She gasped, pressing her head into the bed.
"I'm trying to be gentle," he growled before taking her nipple between his teeth again. She swallowed her cry, lifting her hips to meet the roll of his. The hardness beneath that fabric met her perfectly, and she craved more. Fire burned within her veins more fiercely than she'd experienced since his first touch. She felt primal, ready for him to sink his teeth into her flesh and fill her entirely.
"Don't," she ground out, bucking her hips again. Nyx shuddered, pulling his lips from her swollen flesh. He met her eyes and Theia wanted to cower. He'd always held formidable power, but beneath his heated gaze, she felt like he'd unleash himself within a breath. She thought for a moment that he'd stop, but before she could shout, Nyx gripped the neckline of the shirt she wore and tore it down the middle. As soon as the gasp left her lips, his pants were on the floor.
"Are you still in pain?" He asked, dragging his bottom lip over her breast as he ran his length along her core. Theia shook her head, a squeak leaving her lips when the tip pressed against her entrance. She knew by the way he slid against her that she was dripping for him, she felt it in her bones. They felt like ash under his touch, like he'd ignite her as soon as he pushed in.
"No," she gasped, realizing he hadn't seen her shake her head. His chest rumbled, tongue dragging between her peaks to settle in the hollow of her throat.
"You will be."
Before she could ask what he meant, he thrusted. She couldn't help the scream that tore through her, back arching off the bed. Her body stretched around him so tightly, she was almost sure he ripped her in half. He didn't slow his thrusts, slamming into her hard enough to steal her breath. Theia's hands blindly reached around, nails catching his shoulders. Nyx moaned against her throat when she tore his skin, teeth grazing with each thrust.
"Make me bleed," he panted, kissing up her jaw before capturing her lips. Theia's mind was roiling, muddied by how deeply and completely he filled her. She went to claw him deeper, but Nyx gripped her thigh and brought her knee over his shoulder.
"Holy gods," she cried, throwing her head back at the depth of his touch. She'd never felt such pleasure. It shot through her veins like lightning, fingers and toes growing numb. She dug her nails into him, not caring if she ripped the skin from the bone. She wanted to taste his mouth, swallow his moans with hers, but Nyx sat up, lips parted in heaving groans as he watched himself slide into her.
She peeled open her eyes to watch him, seeing blood dripping from his shoulders. He looked savage, cut muscle flexing as he threw everything into her. One hand slid up and over her breast, closing around her throat. Theia whimpered, catching his forearm with both hands. Nyx's other hand dropped between them, splaying his fingers over her lower stomach as he worked her nerves with his thumb.
White hot pleasure licked at her veins, muscle, bones. He consumed her fully, making her body contort beneath him.
"Tell me how you fucking feel, Theia," he snarled, not lifting his eyes from where they connected. She opened her mouth, words cut off by a choking moan. His fingers dug into the arteries in her neck, making her head grow light.
"I hate you, I hate you," she chanted between moans, feeling the pressure build and build. Nyx dropped his head back, letting out a heavy groan.
"I fucking know you do."