Audrey dangled a garnet necklace before me. I took it from her hands, and examined it. "You're sure this is hers?" I asked. She nodded, "she gave it to me before she left. It couldn't be anyone else's." I sighed. "What if it's just a misunderstanding?"
She dropped her bag on the floor and pulled it open, she waved her hand over it, and pulled out a mini chest shaped jewelry box and a stack of letters. "These were hers too." She said. I opened the box, expecting to find jewelry but what I found were photo cards. Photos of a young Audrey and a girl with deep brown skin and hazel eyes. Her hair was somehow longer than Audrey's and way more curly. In the photos, Audrey looks happy and so does the girl. Stella. That was her name. I knew her, we met briefly. She looked uncomfortably familiar to someone else I knew.
"What'd you say her name was again?" I asked, praying for Audrey to lie. I knew who it was, but I wanted it to not be her. Audrey looked at me questioningly, "Stella... Stella Black, why?" Fuck.
Her voice filled with worry, "Apollo?" She called. I needed more of her voice, I needed to focus. It wasn't enough. I took a deep breath in and focused on her. This was for her. This was for her.
"She knew my sister." I explained. Audrey cocked her head. "Your sister?" She asked. I nodded. Her face brightened a little. She became hopeful just at the mention of 'my sister.'
"Well if we find your sister maybe she can tell me what happened!" She beamed.
Bile rose in my throat, they was a nasty reality that hung over the room. I fought that reality day and night, but somehow, for Audrey the words were able to come out. "No, Audrey, we won't. She's dead."
"What?"
"My sister, Nia. She died." I repeated, louder. She froze. "Apollo, I-"
"Save it." I said. The only one here who should be sorry, is me. I sighed, "can we pick this back up later? I'm sure those letters can tell you more." I said. "I can't right now, I'm sorry." I pulled myself up. Audrey reach out to me but I brushed her off, leaving the room without so much as a goodbye. Guilt rushed through me, a new layer to add on to what I already felt. It hurt differently, touched me in places I thought Nia's death had already consumed. I was running from my guilt, he was right. But I was starting to realize I wouldn't win that race. It was an extension of me, not a cloud that hung over me I could run from. It was the consequence of my actions and it attached itself to me like a leech. I deserved it, she did not.
The minute I had to admit it, I realized why I never liked Audrey. It was in fact the opposite. I had always loved Audrey, I had too much to lose, and I couldn't add Audrey to that list. Now that I had lost everything, I could not handle losing her too. So again, I forced myself to hate her, to push her away again. Until the evening came and I hadn't gone to dinner, leaning against my bed, my roommate gone on another one of his flings. In my suit, my tie wrapped around my neck, the knot undone and my face a mess of tears. I was sweaty from my last panic attack, and my curls pressed themselves against my neck but a soft knock came at the door, pulled it open and there she was with a plate of food in her hands. There she stood, in a lovely white, off-shoulder dress. I noticed the split in the dress, and her thighs peaking out, the diamond choker around her neck, and I found it in me, to stand up, place the plate on my roommate's nightstand and pull her into me. She wrapped her arms around my neck, leaned her head against my chest. She whispered apologies to me that I didn't deserve to hear. "I really, really like you." I whispered to her. "And I'm really sorry. I owe you everything, and I'll get it for you. I promise." It wasn't her fault. It was never her fault. I got her into this shit, and I was gonna get her out. She pulled her head up to mine. I looked into her deep brown eyes, her sweet lashes, and kissed her. Her lips were soft and tasted like mangos. Her tongue traced mine gently, it was nothing like our first kissed. That one had been out of necessity. She wanted this one, and I wanted her to want me in ways I felt that I needed her. That guilt pierced me like knives into my back but I fell into our kisses like bees to nectar. We found our way onto my bed, and she looked me in my eyes. "I trust you." She whispered, touching her forehead to mine. "That sounds like a bad idea," I grinned. "But I'm all for it." She grinned at me, and my lips made their way back to her. She was beautiful, too good for me. Everything I wanted and more, everything I was undeserving of. Luna was too cruel to give me someone so perfect, so I knew it came from Felix. Audrey was special. A being I'd spend lightyears looking for her, give my soul for. Whatever she needed, I was at her beck and call and I would be happy to do so. She wouldn't even need to ask, she already had all of me. Her hands unbuttoned my shirt, and mine pulled up that pretty dress she made look beautiful. Our bodies laced together, smudging her makeup and somehow she was prettier than before. Her moans filled the room like a melody I couldn't get out of my head, and I bit back the word love lest it scare her away. I kept her close to me, so the moment would last forever. I placed kisses on every part of her skin, as if she would disappear at any moment and let her run my fingers through my hair. In that moment, there were no thoughts, time or threats. Just us. Nothing would ever exist before or after Audrey Willow and I didn't want it to. I lost myself in her, and she pulled me out again, letting me worship entirely. A supernova couldn't pull me away from her. I'd find her, always. It was a promise I whispered to her silently while I held her tired body, shaking beneath me.
I leaned into her chest, and laid there. I felt comfortable in her. Another fool, I thought. Just another fool who fell for Audrey Willow. And I smiled at that.
The day came and went, in bed with Audrey. I slept little, no matter how comfortable I felt in her. She let me cry to her about it and she was understanding, of course she was. Everyone knew Audrey's parents had gone away, no one would understand better than she did. And she comforted me through all the tears. It scared me, I wondered if she would be so accepting of me if she knew the truth. I didn't have the heart to tell her though, I couldn't break her trust when I only just now earned it. So I kept some details to myself, which I was sure she knew, but she didn't pry. Lovely my Audrey Willow, a Saint.
Dinner came around and finally she convinced me to get out of bed. We each showered, then dressed. Me, in an all black suit with Luna's broach, a small moon with a star inside. And her in a sparkling midnight blue gown. She led us out the door, past the judging eyes of the angels as if she herself were a god and I wanted to worship her. We entered the dining hall as one of the firsts to arrive and I sat with her on the mages side of the room instead of with the angels. I heard the murmuring but I ignored it. Emerson and Mason happily invited me into their conversations and Victoria seemed reserved, the most like Audrey, but even she was kind. More students filled the halls, they took their seats and instead of the nurse's starting tonight's prayer, nurse Hannah spoke. "Hello students. We hope you're all enjoying your evenings. We'd like to remind you that stealing from a staff member is an offense punishable by expulsion." Her eyes cut to Audrey and I. Audrey tensed, "now a box has gone missing from my office. I hope that it's returned by the end of the week. I'd hate to have to remove any of you but I will if I must!" She shouted. "Any information is appreciated, continue on with your meal." She smiled. Mason gritted his teeth, "something isn't right about her."
"You say that about everyone." Emerson sighed, grabbing Victoria's hand. Audrey reached for mine and Mason's. "I mean it this time." He whispered, silencing himself just before the prayer started. His words blurred into the prayer and he recited it along with the rest of us. When the prayer was up, he continued, "She just rubs me the wrong way."
"Again, that's a very general statement."
Mason frowned, "You never take me seriously,
Emerson. This is why I hate you." She rolled her eyes, digging into her platter of fried seafood. "I don't trust her either." I remarked. Audrey looked at me, her eyes anxious. I brushed my finger against her arm, she returned to her meal. A plate of steak, asparagus and pasta with a side of cake we split together in exchange for some of my fried shrimp. "What do you think was in the box?" Emerson asked. "Must've been important if she's making an announcement."
"I doubt it. She's probably excited to kick a year 12 out." Mason suggested. Audrey cut into her steak. "What do you think?" Victoria asked, eying the both of us. I popped a clam into my mouth and shrugged. "Maybe it is important."
"Important enough to expel someone?"
"Why are you suddenly so interested in this?" Audrey asked. Victoria snatched a piece of asparagus off Audrey's plate, "I'm not. You're usually more vocal, and tonight you aren't."
Audrey took a bite of her steak, covering her mouth to speak, "I'm hungry."
"Don't order well done steal next time."
Audrey scoffed, biting into one of her pieces of garlic. "I'm not eating raw food."
"It's not raw, it's medium-rare." Emerson argued. "Wrong." Audrey replied. Mason slid the three of us pieces of gum. "All of you need to stop talking while you eat." He groaned. Both him and Victoria had opted for the tomato bisque with a side of bread, saving them from the bad-breath conundrum. "Who knows, maybe it's a million dollars." Audrey said, accepting the gum. A stack of garlic bread was placed in front of the table, most likely for the tomato bisque eaters but all of us grabbed a piece.
Mason snorted, "doubt it."
"I think," Victoria began. "That whatever was in it had something to do with the missing file." Audrey and I froze, "what missing file?"
"Oh you didn't hear? There's rumors the staff are looking for a file too. Said it went missing over night, heard the name though."
"Who?" I asked. "Nia Jameson."
"Oh, that's sad, I really hope they find it." Audrey remarked on my behalf. I continued stuffing my mouth with food. Ten minutes later I whispered to Audrey I was leaving, planted a kissing on her cheek and tossed my food before heading back to my dorm.