Jen's POV
It's as if the world had stopped, and the only thing moving was the beat of my heart. Harry had said when your heart races for someone, that's when you know you need them. I always knew I needed him, but right now I needed him more than ever.
I needed him to be okay, I needed to hear his voice, I needed to be there with him. I had no idea what was happening, the phone line died, and no one had called to tell me what had happened yet.
I was in a state of shock, every part of my body was numb. My head was spinning, I needed to tell someone, maybe they could help get in contact with someone over there.
I left my room and walked over to the lounge slowly and bewildered. Everything was becoming blurry, it was as if all the blood had rushed to my head, my ears were ringing and my head was becoming heavy.
"Jen?" I could slightly make out Mason standing in front of me, then the next thing I knew I had blacked out.
...
The sound of heart monitors, and my mother's voice confused me as I woke up in this hospital bed. I had no idea why I was here, I couldn't remember even coming to the hospital. Why was there a drip in my arm? Was my baby okay? Did Harry know I was here?
"Baby girl," my mum ran over to me, taking me in her arms. "How are you feeling?"
"Okay I guess, why am I here?"
"You fainted. The doctors said your blood pressure dropped, but you should be fine. They just have you hooked up to this stuff for observation, to make sure you and the baby are okay."
"Okay...has someone told Harry? I'm sure he would like to know. I hope you didn't worry him too much, I don't need him to leave tour for this!"
I felt like I was forgetting something, I couldn't quite put my finger on it, but something was definitely wrong. Why could I not remember fainting? Or anything that happened before me fainting?
"Jen, there's been an accident..." My mum informed me, and it all started flooding back to me now. The phone call with Harry, the screeching tires, the screams, all these sounds were filling my head, and my heart started to pound again.
"How's Harry mum?" I cut her off from her explanation on what had happened.
"We don't know, we haven't gotten any word on any of their conditions yet. All we have been told is there was an accident, and they were all on the way to the hospital. Harry was unconscious when I spoke to Willow, and I haven't had any updates since."
I had to get out of here, what use was I to him sitting in a hospital bed, not knowing his condition. I started unhooking myself from the machinery, determined to get out of here.
"What are you doing?" My mum tried to stop me from moving.
"I'm going to Canada," I told her.
"Darling you should stay here, when there's an update they will let us know what's happening. You shouldn't be flying anywhere right now," she tried to talk me out of this.
"Mum, I'm going! He's the father of my child, I can't sit here while he is over there, and I have no idea whether he's going to live or die," I continued un hooking myself, then stepped out of the bed to re dress myself.
"Jen please be reasonable here, I don't want you flying out by yourself, after you were just taken into hospital!"
"Mum! Listen to me! He is my life, I can not be on the opposite end of the world to him, and let him lay in that hospital bed without me next to him. I need to know what's happening, I need to see him, I can't lose him," I took a seat back on the bed, and broke down again at the thought of him being taken from me.
I wouldn't be punished like this, there is no way God would take my Harry from me and our baby so I could never see him again, he would never hold our child, he would never tell me he loved me again, I would never get to marry him or know what having a family with him would be like.
I refused to believe that was all being taken away from me, there's no way. He would survive this, he was a fighter.
"Jenelle, he's going to be fine sweetheart," she cradled me in her arms. "If you're so determined to go, please take someone with you, I don't want you going there alone."
"Fine, I'll take Angus, can you please try and get me a flight out tonight?"
"I'll get on it now," she pulled her phone out and began to search.
I had to get to him, I hated that he was so far away, but I knew in my heart he would hang in there. He had to.
...
Mum had managed to get us on a flight out to Vancouver last night luckily. The long seventeen hours in suspense was slowing killing me a little more. I had no idea on Harry's condition, all I did know was he was stable, but still unconscious when my flight took off.
The unknown is what hurt more than anything about this. Not knowing what was going to happen was the worst form of anxiety. I didn't know what I would be walking in on when I finally got to his room.
Angus and I walked into the hospital, and met Willow where we arranged to meet. A few more of the team that weren't on their bus were also there in the waiting room, looking just as anxious as I felt.
"Willow," I ran towards her, and she hugged me to try and comfort me. Nothing was comforting me right now, the only comfort I would get is seeing my boyfriend awake, and fine. At least she was okay, that was the positive in all this.
"Jen you didn't have to come out here, you need to be taking care of yourself and the bub!"
"I couldn't sit at home and wait for a phone call Lo, I need to see him for myself. What happened?" I asked her, wanting answers on why my boyfriend was even laying in a hospital bed right now.
"The bus driver fell asleep behind the wheel and crashed. The bus rolled three times, and because the boys weren't secured, they tumbled around with it. They all survived thank God, just a bit battered and bruised."
Honestly the whole thing was making my bloody boil. How could they have such an irresponsible driver working for them?
"Where's Harry?" I asked, trying to keep my cool before I exploded at someone who didn't deserve my anger right now.
"First room on the left," she pointed out the room, and I dragged Angus along with me.
I stood outside the door, scared to walk in and see the state he was in.
"He'll be okay Jen," he rubbed my back up and down. He was a comfort to me on the plane, constantly trying to make me believe Harry would survive this, and he would be able to come home with me.
He had enough to deal with, he had his own problems, this was his brother in law, but he still put on a brave face for me. He tried to call Gemma again to make sure she knew, but she still wouldn't take his calls, and I knew that hurt him.
"I don't want to go in there Angus, I don't want to see him like he is. Hooked up to machines, bruised, hurt, I can't..."
"I know it's hard to see the person you love like that, but remember why we came here! He needs you by his side, you have to be brave for him. I know you can, you're one of the strongest people I know, come on," he took my hand, and walked me into the room.
Niall was on one side of the room, he was the first I saw. He was asleep, plaster covering his arm, cuts and bruises covering his face. He looked better than I thought he would, but I didn't want to turn around and look at Harry, the sight would break me.
"I'm just going to go talk to Willow, to make sure someone got through to Gem and Anne, be brave Jen," Angus hugged me before leaving me alone in the room, to face my fear.
I took a breath in, and turned around to see him, my soul mate, laying in a bed completely defeated by this accident. He had a bandage wrapped around his head, a bandage wrapped around his rips, and tubes in his nose to help him breath.
I walked towards him, taking a seat on the bed as I analysed his damage up close.
His chest was bruised, the sparrows looking as though they were flying through a sky of black and purple clouds. He had a cut above his eyebrow which had been stitched up. His cheeks were bruised and swollen, his eyes slightly black, but not as bad as the cheeks, and his bottom lip was split.
I reached my thumb up to trace the swallow mess in front of me, finding it extremely hard to keep my emotions in tact.
"Harry," I sobbed, resting my head gently on his chest. I just wanted him to open his eyes, and tell me he was okay considering his appearance.
I felt his hand stroke the back of my head, and I immediately looked up to see him staring back at me. Amongst the cuts and bruises on his face, the one thing that remained perfect, and like the Harry I wanted to remember, was his eyes. As long as I stared into them, I could see no bad.
"Hi baby," he said, his voice groggy, and his lips curling up into the smallest smile he could form.
I wiped my tears away, just grateful that he was even awake. I didn't know the extent of his injuries, but all I knew was his eyes were open, and that's all I prayed for, for him to survive this and he had.
"What have you gone and done to yourself babe?" I put on a brave face like Angus had told me to.
"Just a bit battered up, nothing I can't handle. What are you doing here, I don't like that you flew all this way, you should be taking care of yourself and the baby."
Even when he was injured and in pain, he was still putting me before himself.
"I wanted to be here, I needed to. You would do the same if it were me. I couldn't sit at home and worry myself sick. Do you know how scared I was?" I bit down on my bottom lip to stop my emotions getting the better of me again.
"I know how paranoid you get, I'm sorry I put you through this," he reached up and caught a tear that had escaped. I hated being weak and not being able to hold myself together for him.
"It's not your fault Harry, the only thing that matters is you're okay, you're alive, and I get to see you a month earlier than planned," I found the positives in all this.
"You look beautiful, I missed that face," he cupped my cheek, and I turned my face into his palm, grateful I could feel his touch again.
"Ah," I jumped at the surprise of the baby moving again.
"What's wrong? What happened?" Harry panicked, looking down at my hand rubbing over my stomach.
"No nothing," I laughed. He was panicking with something as small as this, I couldn't imagine what he'd be like while I was in labour. Not that I'd really get to notice, I'm sure I'd be in enough pain to be only concentrating on myself.
"You want to feel your child kick?" I asked him, knowing this would make him happy.
"Seriously?" He asked with wide eyes.
"Yeah," I pulled his hand to my stomach, waiting for the little one to move again for him. "It never kicks for anyone except me, and mum and Sam have felt it once. Angus gets so mad because every time I try and let him feel, it stops moving. I think it just wants its daddy to be the first man to feel," I smiled, watching Harry watch my stomach.
"Is it moving? I can't feel anything..." He brows furrowed at the lack of movement.
"Not right now, but it will move again. Come on baby, wake up for dad," I rubbed just above his hand, and we waited a few more seconds.
"Was that it? Was that the baby?" Harry's face lit up when the baby decided to kick for him.
"Yeah, that was our baby," I smiled at his excitement. I saw tears forming in his eyes, I knew how happy this had made him.
"I can't believe how real this is Jen, only another three months and we'll be parents. We'll have that little one out and with us."
He moved his hand, and looked away, deep in thought about something.
"You know when the bus rolled, I wasn't knocked out immediately. I was still conscience for a bit before I blacked out.
All I could think about was you two, and how I had to survive this for you. I wasn't going to let this defeat me, I wouldn't allow myself to be taken from you both. It's true when they say your life is put into perspective when you face a near death experience.
My career could be taken away from me in a second, this could all end tomorrow. Look at us all, we can't perform like this, One Direction could be over right now for all I know. I'm okay with that though, I know I'd had the best five years of my life, but it ending wouldn't be the end of the world.
I have so much to look forward to in life now. I have you, I have this baby, we are building a life together. You're what's important at the end of the day. The tour is probably over now, and as sad as I am for the fans who are missing out now, I'm actually happy about it. I get to be with you, and that's all that matters.
Is that selfish of me? To hope the tours cancelled so I can come home with you? I feel like I'm letting down so many people, but two months was long enough away from you."
"You're not selfish Harry, you're human. You're not like those musicians who are in it for the fame and fortune. You put your family first, and that's what makes you the incredible man you are. I can't wait to take you home, and never let you out of my sight again," I reached over and kissed him gently, not wanting to hurt him.
"Look at that idiot," he gestured towards a sleeping Niall. "All he has is a broken arm and a few scratches, luck of the Irish ey," he laughed, then began to cry out in pain.
"What's wrong? What hurts?" I panicked.
"I have a few fractured ribs, they said it should take six weeks to heal," he told me.
"What else is wrong? What's happened to your head? There's no internal damage is there?"
"No none of that. I've had all the scans and tests, just split it open. The worst of it is the ribs, they've had me on pain relief, and this tube helps me breath."
"Mr Styles, how's the pain?" The nurse walked in at a convenient time.
"The pain relief is starting to wear off, but they knock me out and I want to talk to my girlfriend, so I think I'll be fine for the time being," he told her.
"Do you need a drink or something?" She asked.
"I'm fine for now thank-you," he politely declined.
"Are you sure you don't need anything?" She asked again, and I was growing extremely annoyed with her.
"He said he's fine," I glared at her, and she looked at me for a split second before looking back to Harry.
"No problem, if you need anything just buzz me and I'll come right away," she smiled at him a little longer than I liked. I stared at her until she left the room, and rolled my eyes.
"It's actually really hot to see you so jealous," he smirked at me.
"I'm not jealous, I'm annoyed. Does she pay all her patients that much attention? She didn't even check on Niall. Did you see the way she was looking at you? She looked like a teenager!"
"That's because she is, she's only a student nurse. It's not everyday that your favourite band suddenly become your patients. I think she has a little crush on me," he seemed proud of himself for that fact, I knew she gave him an ego boost.
"You enjoy your ego being fluffed don't you," I teased him.
"Maybe, but now that I know how jealous you get when girls give me an extra bit of attention, I'm going to use it to my advantage. I'm actually a little hungry, I should call her back," he reached up for the buzzer and I snatched it from his hand.
"Don't be an arse," I frowned.
"Are you a little upset you won't be getting any arse for a few weeks while I recover?"
"Yeah just guttered," I rolled my eyes again. No matter what this guy went through, or how much pain he was in, he still managed to bring up sex whenever he could.
"A blow job isn't out of the question," he winked.
"You're an idiot, maybe I should get that nurse back here to knock you back out," I hopped off the bed.
"Where are you going?" He reached for my hand, to stop me from going.
"Just to check on Angus, I want to see if someone got through to your mum and sister yet. He's been trying to call her, but she won't answer his calls still."
"She's a bloody idiot I'm telling you. I understand it's hard losing something, and finding out you can't have kids, but why push away the person that means most to you? I'll never understand that logic," he shook his head.
"I don't know Harry, sometimes people are just so miserable they don't want to bring others down with them. They would rather deal with it on their own. I'll be back though," I assured him, and left the room to see what was going on.
"Hey, Jen is it?" The nurse from earlier stopped me just as I approached Angus.
"Yeah..."
"Look, I know you want to see your boyfriend and everything, but I think it's best you leave him to rest. He's been through something pretty traumatic, he doesn't really need people hovering over him."
Who the f*ck did she think she was?
"And you are?" Willow overheard the rude girl, and approached us to find out what this girls issue was.
"I'm Harry's nurse, and you are?" She bit back at Willow. I didn't know who was in charge of signing on student nurses at this hospital, but they clearly didn't do a behaviour check on this one. Her communications skills were much to be desired.
"I'm Harry's assistant, and this is his girlfriend and his brother in law, just in case you were wondering. You're not the nurse I've been talking to all day?"
"She's off duty, I've taken over while she's on break."
This girl had such an arrogance about her, I wanted to slap the smug look right off her face.
"Look babe," Angus got involved now.
"You look about sixteen, I don't know who hired you or who gave you the authority to run around like you own the joint, but if Jen wants to see Harry, she will f*cking see him.
Now get out of our faces, go back to school, and learn some common decency. Your manners are much to be desired."
I was shocked, and very amused by Angus' defence. The girl looked speechless, and did as he said. She walked away without another word.
"What a stupid b*tch," he laughed.
"Ugh you should have seen her in there, I actually think she would have given him a sponge bath with her tongue if he allowed her to," I shook my head.
"Idiot, well I'm going to go demolish that vending machine, I'm starving," Angus excused himself, walking away.
"Anyway do Harry's family know what happened?" I asked Willow.
"Yeah I got through to Anne, I told her he's fine and not to come over here."
"What about Gemma?" I asked.
"Gemma doesn't really take anyone's calls lately, not even Harry. Have you tried talking to her?"
"I've text her a few times over the last few weeks, but she doesn't respond. What can you do Lo? I feel so bad for him," we looked over to Angus, who was struggling with the vending machine.
"He is miserable. He's been working in the office with me, just to get him out of the house. He's not himself, he tries to be fine for me, but I know he's hurting.
I just wish Gemma could see how much she's hurting him you know? Maybe then she would realise this so called divorce isn't what's best for them. I guess all we can do is hope everything works out in the end," I shrugged, feeling sympathetic for everything Angus had been dealing with for the last two months.
"Poor guy," Willow sighed.
"Yeah...so anyway what's happening with the tour now? Is it cancelled? Does he get to come back to Melbourne with me or what?" I asked her.
"Well I have a meeting with management tomorrow, but as far as I know the boys will have the rest of the tour off to recover. So you don't need to worry about Harry missing the birth, he'll definitely be there for it," she assured me, and a wave of relief gushed through me.
"Alright, well I'm going to go check on him again, I'll see you later on?"
"Yeah for sure, I'm going to head back to the hotel, text me when you're leaving."
I nodded and re entered Harry's room, only to see him having some banter with Niall who was now wide awake.
"Jen! Look at you, you look very bloody pregnant," Niall called out, and I walked over to give him a hug.
"I'm huge I know," I laughed at his observation.
"Hey, you're here to see me, not Ellen DeGeneres," Harry called out from the other side of the room.
"I swear your boy needs a good kick in the head," Niall laughed.
"You two are unbelievable," I laughed along with him, and made my way back over to Harry's bed.
"So Willow was saying that you get to come back to Melbourne with me," I told him.
"Are you going to be my nurse baby? Should I get you one of those sexy nurse costumes?"
"No, you shouldn't. Maybe I'll slip a couple extra pain killers in your drinks to put you to sleep more often," I teased.
"You wouldn't!"
"Oh I would," I laughed, resting my head back on his chest.
"In all seriousness, I'm glad you're okay, I don't know what I would have done if I lost you."
"You'll never need to know, because I'll never go anywhere," he told me.
"Promise?" I looked up to him.
"Promise."