~~Advika~~
Placing my pencil down on the table, I looked at my designs. Not feeling satisfied with them I pushed my notepad away. This is the first time I'm actually not satisfied with my work. Since morning I couldn't even complete a single design. This has never happened to me. My brain doesn't think about anything else when I'm occupied with work but today, something else occupied my thoughts.
Well, not something else but someone. A man named Jaiveer Dixit. Who willingly or unwillingly became my husband.
Today, I woke up feeling empty because that man had gone on a business trip last night. I don't understand what is with him? Why is he going on continuous trips? Maybe that's how business men work. Even Papa used to go on continuous trips.
But why has he conquered my thoughts?
Because…..
I got used to seeing his face first thing in the morning when I woke up. Today I missed it.
I got used to listening to his silly talks with Adiraj while I was freshening up. Today I missed it.
I got used to stumbling into him while getting ready for work. Today I missed it.
I got used to seeing him feed Adiraj a bit or two while having breakfast. Today I missed it.
I got used to teasing Adiraj together with him for kisses while leaving for work. Today I missed it.
I got used to smiling widely seeing him playing with Adiraj while I returned back to home for lunch. Today I missed it.
I got used to feel content while seeing Adiraj and him napping together after having lunch. Today I missed it.
Dammit!! I'm missing him. What the heck is even wrong with me?
I snatched Viraj's photo that's resting peacefully on the table and glared at him.
Why am I even thinking about him? Why am I even becoming soft towards him? Shouldn't I hate him?
Because if he hadn't entered my life, it would have been calm and peaceful with just Adiraj and I.
But again, because of my entry into his life, he got separated from his girlfriend. Then he too hates me right? Why isn't he hating me then? Is there something I'm missing?
A soft knock on my door brought me back from my thoughts. I looked up and found Shraddha poked her head inside.
"I'm leaving. Do you need anything?"
At her question, I looked up at the clock. It's already 6 in the evening.
Looking back at her I shook my head.
"Alright. Don't stay up late. Bye bye."
Shraddha then retreated. Shaking my mind from the thoughts, I again busied myself with work.
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I arrived at my house when the clock struck 8. Stepping inside I found Dad, Mom, Adiraj and Anu in the dining room. Anu is having her dinner while Dad and Mom are trying to feed Adiraj. Wait a minute, trying to feed? It looks like that. But there is not at all any need to try to feed him.
"Mom." I called, approaching her.
Turning towards me, she sighed, "Good thing you're back. See, he isn't eating."
"Huh! But why?" I asked in confusion. My baby boy never troubles anyone with food.
"He wants Jai." Dad answered.
"Huh!?" That's what I could utter.
Dad nodded, "He has been cranky since afternoon. Only responding to Jai's name."
"It might be better if we video call to Bhai." Anu suggested.
"I messaged Jai. He hasn't responded. He might be sleeping but try calling him once." Dad suggested.
I turned my gaze towards Adiraj. He is shaking his head vigorously and pushing away Mom's hand while she is trying feed him.
Mom finally gave up and handed over me his plate, "Try feeding him, Advi. He hasn't eaten anything post lunch."
Still in a daze, I nodded. I took his meal plate into one hand and picked him up into another hand walked up to our room. Entering inside a wave of cold and emptiness greeted me but I ignored it. Placing Adiraj in the middle of the bed, I tired feeding him. I even narrated a story to him but this little fellow is not listening.
Viraj! Your little peanut is turning into a little demon!
"Do you want to talk to Jaiveer?" I asked, finally giving up and accepting defeat.
My little demon immediately stopped shaking and nodded vigorously.
You traitor!! You switched you loyalties. Whenever Papa goes on a vacation, Adiraj behaves just like this. He only calms down when Papa calls him and plays with him over the phone for a few minutes. Looks like now Jaiveer has stolen Papa's place.
"Sit here like a good boy. I'll go and bring my phone." Ordering my baby boy, I walked out of the room to find my phone which I actually left in the living room.
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~~Jaiveer~~
The continuous buzzing beside me disturbed my sleep. After the heavy long journey, my body screamed in exhaustion. So as soon as I stepped into the room that was allotted to me, I flopped down on the bed without even changing my clothes. Once in a while my phone buzzed but I ignored it but this time the buzzing isn't stopping.
So, with heavy lids, I managed to open my eyes. With my blurred vision, I looked at my phone to notice an incoming call over the web application. Not even noticing the name, I just answered it to avoid it from continuous buzzing.
The other line was silent for a few seconds and I too had no energy to utter a word. Finally a melodious voice answered, "Jaiveer."
I immediately woke up fully and sat straight. Removing the phone from my ear I noticed the name on the screen. Advika.
Why is she calling me now? All these days I doubted that she has my number. We never called or even texted each other.
"Advika." I whispered back. Again was met with silence. When I was about to say something, she spoke up, "Are you busy?"
"No." I immediately answered. Even if I'm busy I'll just throw the work away.
"Umm… it's… actually….." She hesitated.
"What is it?"
"Umm… it's.. Adiraj. He.. wanted to see you." She answered. At once my heart blossomed.
"Shall I connect through video?" I asked.
She hummed. I immediacy cut the call. I looked at the time in my phone. It's 8.30 p.m.
So, it must be around 3 in the afternoon here. While connecting the call through video, I walked into the balcony and flopped down on the chair.
A second later, Advika appeared on the screen. She immediately moved the camera towards Adiraj. As soon as seeing me, he smiled wide and made grabby hands to the phone.
"Baby!" I called him. At once he took the phone into his hands and I know he is playing with it.
"Baby, let go of the phone."
"You can't see him like this."
"Let me hold it for you."
I heard a series of words from Advika and laughed.
A second later, Advika adjusted the phone and now I can see Adiraj.
"Pooh! You can see me right?" I asked and he nodded still making grabby hands towards the phone.
"Did you miss me?" I asked and he nodded.
"I too missed you baby." He clapped his little hands. I then noticed that Advika is still in her casuals which means she hasn't freshened up yet.
"Advika… you can go and freshen up. I'll look after him." I suggested.
"It's alright." She mumbled.
Understanding something, Adiraj started pushing his mother and pointing his little finger somewhere.
"Now you recognised that I hadn't freshened up?" Advika asked him. He nodded.
"What did you do when I first entered?" She asked him but he reluctantly kept on pushing her.
"Will you then sit like a good boy? Without creating chaos?" She asked and he nodded vigorously.
I laughed out loud, "Keep the phone a bit away from him. I'll look after him."
Advika then adjusted the phone and walked away from the screen.
"Pooh! Where are your toys? Bring them." He then hurridely climbed down from the bed and a moment later, climbed back with his toys. One after the other he started showing them to me and I kept on talking some nonsense with him.
10 min later Advika Advika came back and started feeding him. Just like a good boy he ate his food in silence. All this time I just watched them in silence. Looking at both of them, I felt a sense of family feeling within me but immediately I also felt a sense of fear and pain that started crept up in me.
I don't know when everything comes back to normal in my life.
A few minutes later, when Adiraj got ready for his sleep, I hung up the call. I already miss my little family. If I was back at my home this time, I would be hearing the sweet lullaby that Advika will be singing to Adiraj.
Today, I missed many things.
Looking at Advika's face first thing in the morning. Playing with Adiraj early in the morning. Feeding him breakfast and lunch. Competing with Advika while kissing Adiraj. I missed many things today.
Placing my legs on the iron railing, I leaned back on the couch and looked up at the clear sky. There were many things that happened. Many things that I couldn't stop from happening. And many things that are about to happen.
What did I do and what am I going to do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Because that's what I feel. I can do nothing. I even lost the ability to do.
I failed as a brother. I failed as a lover. I think I also failed as a husband. At the least I shouldn't fail as a father. The only purpose that was left for my life is to take care of Adiraj. That's the least I could do in return for Advika.
Lord Ram! Please give me strength for at least this.
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