I'm in hell. They started putting me to work at 12, Heleen had me cleaning up till then. The various fluids; the blood, the sweat, the piss, and the other thing. It taught me my fate.
I constantly tried to summon the flame to get me out of here. When I turned 12, I thought I felt it. I felt the gases in the air that could summon the fire but it never came. So when I stopped fighting for the flame, I started fighting the man who wanted to use me. Eventually, I gave up.
Heleen had someone beat me for that and, for my fighting, more was added to my indenture. That quenched any potential flame I had left, and I felt empty after that, completely hopeless. No one came to save me and eventually I was convinced no one ever would.
~
"LET ME GO, I WANT MY PARENTS" I hear a dark haired, dark skinned girl scream. She's Suli. Another girl called Kesh has helped me with knowing stuff about the world.
She told me what birds the girls would dress as because of the country they came from. She said I was an oddity for being a Pheonix, I told her it was probably because of my eyes, I haven't told her about the flame yet because i dont even know if I can do it. I may have called it when I lost my mother but I haven't been able to do anything since, even when I truly needed it, so maybe it wasn't me at all.
She told me about Grisha aswell. About how in Ravka there is a place where Grisha are safe to be themselves, it was interesting when she taught me this. She also told me of Inferni and all the other types of grisha and what they can do, I think I could be Inferni, I hope I am, then, maybe, just maybe, I could save myself, and every girl here.
I feel sorry for the Suli girl. She doesn't deserve the fate of the menagerie, no one does.
~
It's evening now, I was lucky tonight. Not many wanted Heleen's Phoenix, because, unfortunately the suli girl was put to work immediately. They were all after the new Lynx.
I wait outside her rooms. She comes out and her face, her face looks broken and afraid but also so full of strength that makes this girl seem like no other i have ever met, most girls break after the first night, I did. I grab her wrist, to get her attention and she spins to face me. 'Hi, I'm sorry I grabbed you, I understand the terror of it. I just wanted to try and help'. I give her a slight smile and she doesn't smiles back, 'May you let go then' she responds with a cold tone of voice . I feel a blush rise in my cheeks and let go immediately, 'Sorry, My name is (y/n), what's yours?'
'Inej, Inej Ghafa'
'Come with me, I can help clean you and give you time to breathe' I hold my hand to her and she takes it.
~
'So, how long have you been indentured to Heleen?' She asks me while I comb her hair.
'Since I was 11, but she didn't put me in main work till I was 12, she said that my body would break too quickly and that I would then be a waste of money and resource' she looks at me with a facial expression of what looks like sympathy '(Y/n), thats terrible'.
'It's Ketterdam, everything about this place is terrible' I say with despair in my voice. 'And unfortunately, my youth and... the uniqueness of my eyes, make me popular amongst the men of Ketterdam' I say my volume getting lower with each humiliating word.
She gets up and wraps her arms around me and holds me tight. I enjoy the silence she gives me, if only for a moment.
'May the saints guide us to safety' she says to me. 'If saints existed, Ketterdam wouldn't' I break apart from her.
"W - we sh- should get back out there, We will be beaten if Heleen notices our absence" I say with a broken voice. I head for the door and now it's her turn to grab my wrist '(Y/n), don't give up fighting, for once, you will never be alone, I'm here for you and I won't leave you'
'And I won't leave you' I reply feeling like I finally found a friend.
And thats where I feel it, the flame, the hope, it came back.
'(Y/n), are you okay? You're eyes, they seem more... vibrant' that was my only warning.
I feel the air, the wood beneath my feet, and my hand lights on fire.
But it doesn't hurt. I clutch it close to my chest so I don't hurt my new friend. Inej let's go of my wrist and stares in awe.
'(Y/n), You're Grisha.' she exclaims in shock.
I wave my hand slightly around and it doesn't go out.
'How did you? You didn't summon it, did you? I mean, I've seen inferni and normally they have something on them' she asks. 'No, no I didn't, I just felt the gases in the air and the wood and my hand lit up' I reply.
'Thats crazy, you must have some trigger, like a flint or something, thats how inferni's work. I grew up in ravka, believe me I know' she says.
'I don't have any flint, I - just - felt it' I say. She stays silent and just stands there , she shakes her head and comes back to her senses '(Y/n), you need to put that out, who knows what will happen if Heleen finds out what you are' she commands.
I close my eyes, relax my mind and close my fist, I feel it extinguish and it feels so satisfying.
'Come on, we've got to go' I say silently.
~
1 year later...
I'm alone now. A few months ago Inej met someone called Kaz Brekker who came to Heleen for information, I unfortunately was occupied. He got her out, she constantly tells me that she will get him to purchase my indenture but nothings happened. But Inej is probably my best friend, she comes and visits whenever she can, she's been training me to use knives and climb buildings, im not bad, but not as good as her, and she has told me about saints and her culture. I found it all so fascinating but the saints part still kills me inside. If saints existed, Ketterdam wouldn't. She also told me of the Dregs about a guy called Jesper, who she likes and she talks about the conversations with Kaz when she begs him to get me out, he always says he'll 'look into it'.
~
'He wants to meet you' Inej runs into my room saying. 'WHAT?' For the first time since Inej left I feel free for once. 'I blurted out to him that you have a skill set that would be immensely useful, literally nothing like this world has seen before and - he was intrigued so he wants to see what you can do' she explains with an exasperated tone of voice.
'Wait, but, I don't know how to do it, it just happens'
'Well then, I guess we have work to do, since the meetings tomorrow' she smirks.
I run with her outside into West stave ignoring the guards outside the menagerie, I can go out tonight luckily for me, there's a new girl younger who has filled in for inej, I hate it but maybe I can be free now and then I can free her and everyone else, and then burn Heleen and everything she cares for, which isn't much but there's still some things.
We come to a tall building and we scale it together. We reach the top and I stand in amazement at how beautiful Ketterdam is at night, but knowing the amount of rapes and murders that are happening right now makes it alot less beautiful. The rooftop is mainly flat with a few crevices.
'Now, I'm not grisha but I understand them to a certain extent that I might be able to help you. From what I've seen and heard of you, you create fire when under intense emotion such as when you told me about your mothers death and you burned the place down' I feel a sting of pain at the memory
'Try and think of that memory and flick your wrist, see what happens' she suggests. I think of the pain of the memory, my mother's cold, lifeless body, how cold and afraid I was, I feel my rage boil up inside me, '(y/n) it's working your eyes are turning full on red' Inej states. I flick my wrist and I see the ball of flames in my hand. This is the first time I ever summoned properly.
I feel ecstatic, like I've finally found a lost part of myself. I look at the ball in my hand and am enamoured by how alive it is, a tiny pulse in my hand. "Let's try do something with it" I smirk, Inej does to.
First, I bounce it around and try to intensify it making it grow into an inferno and shrink into a small flame to the size of a candle light. Inej looks on in amazement and I can't help but think about how beautiful she is while in the presence of this, how her smile lights up this space more than my fire. Its a precious sight to me and this is a moment I'll treasure forever.
I start to then stream the fire and twist it around my body, I feel safe when it wraps round me. My face drops when I hear slow clapping come from behind Inej and my fire immediately extinguishes from my lack of focus 'Well Inej, you were right, she is - something' I hear a rasp voice come from that same area. A man steps out the shadows and I draw the knife that Inej gave me.
"Inej, who is this" I ask, looking at the man dressed head to toe in black, with gloves on his hands, his hair is slicked back and he looks really pale, I also notice the crow head cane and his limp, how did he get up here? I wonder to myself.
"(Y/n), meet Kaz Brekker" she says
"The person who will convince his boss to buy your indenture" He adds. I feel elated for a second then realise 'wait, your boss?'
"Yes, I'm just a high ranking member of the dregs who recruits certain individuals, but Heleen's indentures are ridiculously expensive and it's rather unfortunate that Per Haskell, the boss, is an old man, used to the old ways and cannot always see the potential in a risk. And sell you to slavers for a cheap investment if he found out you were Grisha especially one who doesn't need a trigger" He explains
"But, from Inej's ever so constant appraisal of you" He tilts his head to her in a glare and pauses, I also suddenly remember she's here, it's weird I was so concentrated on this man that I forgot my best friend was right between us. "And the display you just put on for us, I will do whatever is in my power to free you as I did Inej, You will be under the protection of the dregs afterwards" He continues.
"How do I know I can trust you?" I ask
"Because, I protect my investments and you, (y/n) are soon to be one of them" He says turning round back down the crevice.
Oh. I think to myself, there must be a trap door or something.