In My Skin

By KaraTales

75.3K 3K 14.4K

Taylor West is the epitome of self-reliance. Or she must be. Relationships are fickle. Despite finally enroll... More

Author's note
Ch 1 || The Party
Ch 2 || The New Guy
Ch 3 || Doubts
CH 4 || Braids and Worries
CH 5 || A Good Friend and His Sidekick
Ch 6 || At the Lake
CH 7 || Sherlock
CH 8 || His Suffering Face is the Best
CH 9 || Backlash
CH 10 || Fairy tales
CH 11 || Only A Single Regret
CH 12 || Just A Little Mistake
CH 13 || Owing Favors
CH 14 || Repaying Favors
CH 15 || Red Alert
CH 16 || Abandoned Puppies
CH 17 || Halloween Part I
CH 18 || Halloween Part II
CH 19 || Halloween Part III
CH 20 || Halloween Part IV
CH 22 || Out of Bounds
CH 23 || Girl's Night
CH 24 || Temper
CH 25 || Too Cold Without a Jacket
CH 26 || New Years
CH 27 || The Whole Night?
CH 28 || Hedgehogs and Pigeons
Ch 29 || Pranks and Secrets
CH 30 || Killy
Ch 31 || Papers and Cuts
CH 32 || Mr. Pokerface
CH 33 || Drowning
CH 34 || Avoid at all Costs
CH 35 || Friends
CH 36 || Spy Stuff
CH 37 || A Terrible Friend
CH 38 || Late-Night Run
CH 39 || This One Stinks
CH 40 || Flashing Lights on Campus
CH 41 || The Quiet Before The Storm
CH 42 || Done With the Lecture, Professor?
CH 43 || Aliens and Saints
CH 44 || My Baby
CH 45 || Sleep On The Couch
CH 46 || Rules
CH 47 || Potential Wells
CH 48 || Hypocrite
CH 49 || A Taste of His Own Medicine
CH 50 || Perfectly Sob
CH 51 || The Dermatologists Are On A Different Floor
CH 52 || The Monster Beneath My Skin
CH 53 || Intervention
CH 54 || His Inner Grumpy Grandpa
CH 55 || The Problem With Plans
CH 56 || Good Plan
CH 57 || One Job
CH 58 || Not Going Anywhere
CH 59 || Love Language
Epilogue || Best Friend
Final Thoughts
Aesthetics

CH 21 || Library

1.2K 52 313
By KaraTales

A forest of overflowing bookshelves surrounded me. Pencils scratched against paper and occasionally a frustrated groan sounded. The scattered desks were equipped with large overhead lights, each one a little island of illumination in the otherwise dimly-lit room.

I skimmed over the main points I had summarized from the reference papers. Jules sat on my right, his sharp chin resting on his hands, gaze glued to his laptop. His brows snapped together in concentration and one brown lock kept falling into his eyes whenever he moved.

"I think Julian should present the theory part," Sam said, not meeting my gaze. He was only a few inches taller than me. His dark eyes and short black hair contrasted with the fair, pale color of his skin. He looked as if he was trying to avoid sunlight as much as possible. Like a vampire.

"We have to do it together anyways, but Tay should do this one. She explained it to me yesterday anyways," Jules commented, without lifting his eyes from the screen.

Sam glanced in my direction. "I have to get a good grade on this..."

My shoulders tensed. This was why I preferred to partner with Jules. But no, our professor thought we needed groups of at least four to practice teamwork.

"If that's settled," Jules continued, ignoring Sam's comment. "Let's do the exercises for SSP and be done with this."

SSP or solid-state physics was one of my better subjects.

"Let her do it," Liam, our forth group member, said and gave me a bright smile. His shoulder-length wavy, blond hair looked like it came straight out of a shampoo commercial. Jules and I called him Charming behind his back. But then again, his mismatched set of clothes destroyed the prince-like look. "We are one of the only groups with a girl," he added. "We should make use of that. Maybe it's gonna push our grade."

My hands clenched but I took a deep breath and relaxed them again. Why couldn't more girls be interested in physics? The few others in our year had sort of formed their own group and I never saw them outside of class. I'd barely exchanged two words with them.

"Alright," Sam relented, albeit his tone sounded doubtful.

Jules gave me a quick, reassuring smile and I rolled my eyes. I took out my copy of Solid-State Physics and got to work. The others followed suit.

I got to the last exercise when Sam asked, "Jules are you done? Can you help me with the second part?"

"I'm not done yet."

I hesitated. "What's the problem?"

Sam's brows furrowed. "...I'm getting a lattice constant of 500 nanometers."

My mouth twitched and I held out my hand. "Show me."

He grimaced. "It's fine. I'll figure it out."

Jules wordlessly snatched up Sam's notes and pushed them to me. Then he leaned back over his own as if nothing happened.

I skimmed over the calculation until I found a unit error. "You just forgot that it was given in centimeters, not meters. There's a rounding error."

Sam blinked. "Oh...thanks."

"No problem."

"So, Tay." Liam yawned. "Did you do anything fun over Halloween?"

I stilled. Fun? On Halloween? You could say so.

I hadn't considered myself a scared-y cat but after that night, I had woken up in cold sweat more than once. The nightmares were usually about me running through dark corridors, gripped by terror. My legs felt like lead and I could barely move. It was a relief when I woke up, but the fear lingered long after.

On top of that, I had somehow lost the small pouch where I kept spare change and my student ID. But there was no way in hell that I would go back to the asylum to look for it.

"It was—"

"A disaster," Suzy's voice interrupted us. She rounded the table and took a seat next to Sam. "I don't want to talk about Halloween anymore," she grumbled.

She and Nick had gotten into an argument: He said they were moving too fast. She thought they didn't move fast enough. I really didn't know what to say to any of that.

The chair next to me was pulled back and Killian dropped into the seat, his laptop and a stack of papers in hand. My back straightened and I was acutely aware that his arm was just inches away from my own. The sudden close proximity sent small tingles across my skin.

"I see you two are done with your lecture," I said mostly to distract myself.

"Yeah. We have to write twenty pages about the law in old India." Suz dragged her hands through her short hair and pouted at me. "I want to hang out again. We have to finish watching True Beauty. I need a break."

"Be glad you don't need to write protocols. It's the worst thing ever," Jules said.

Everyone went back to their work. Killian's arm brushed against mine as he opened his laptop. I jolted as if I got zapped. He shot me a confused look which I deliberately ignored. Why did he have to sit next to me?

I stared at the final exercise on my paper but his clean masculine scent turned out to be surprisingly distracting. He did smell good. I leaned the tiniest bit closer and took a deep breath.

Killian pushed the edge of his paper to me. "Are you sniffing me?" was written in clear, distinct letters.

My stomach fluttered. Did he always notice everything? I peered at the others. Sam and Jules were discussing video games. Liam's seat was empty. Suz stared at her phone. No one was paying any attention to us.

"Just checking if it's safe to breathe next to you," I scribbled back and frowned. What the hell? His handwriting was prettier than mine.

He grabbed his pencil. "And what's the verdict on that?"

"You don't stink."

Killian let out a low chuckle.

"What's your rank now?" Sam asked and I lifted my head.

"Master Guardian Elite," Jules replied without looking up.

"Damn you got that high? I can't seem to find a good group man. And randoms are a pain. We should play sometime."

"Sure. Tay and I can push you if you want."

"Tay and..." Sam paused. His head swung to me. "You play CS:GO*?"

"Yep," I said.

A perplexed expression crossed his face. "Um... I mean sure we can play some time but I've been wanting to push my rank. I mean I can play on my brother's account and we can all play together."

Jules snorted and I smirked.

"Sam," Jules said in a patient tone.

"Yeah?"

"Tay outranks me. I don't think it's her we need to worry about."

Sam stared between us. "Huh? No way! What's your rank?"

"Legendary Eagle Master," I announced with a hint of pride.

His jaw dropped. He tried to say something but stopped again, looking like a goldfish gasping for air.

If he knew how much time I used to spend on gaming, it might not be as surprising. It had been the only thing keeping me sane for a while. I made more online friends in the last two years than in real-life.

"You're into gaming?" Killian asked from beside me.

My neck stiffened. "Yeah. So, what?"

He tilted his head. "It's unexpected."

I glared at him. "Well, maybe for you. Why? Got a problem with that?"

His hazel eyes squinted at me. "Why are you always so sensitive whenever I ask you a question?"

"Why are you always so condescending whenever you ask me something?" I fired back.

"I'm not. You just can't differentiate—"

Jules cleared his throat loudly. With a start, I realized that everyone was gawking at us.

To my relief, the perfect distraction in form of Cody appeared. "Guys!" he shouted, bouncing on the balls of his feet. "Did you decide about New Year's? I have to start planning."

Suzy gazed at me with sparkling eyes.

"Sure, we're in," I said.

"Nice." Cody grinned. "What about you, Jules?"

He looked up, surprised. "Oh, um..." I gave him an encouraging smile. "Yeah, sure."

Cody pushed his hands into the pocket of his jeans and nodded. "Nice. By the way, I have to figure out the food situation as well. You gotta let me know if you need anything specific."

And just like that, all the excitement left me in a flush. I had forgotten one crucial detail: My diet.

I gnawed on my lip. Would I have to make an exception? My skin had recovered these last few weeks, but did I really want to risk it?

Suzy winked at me. "We can make a meal plan."

I gave her a thankful look.

"Alright. That's settled then. I'm gonna check on the others. See you later." Cody waved and disappeared behind one of the bookshelves.

"What was that about?" Killian asked. He studied me as if he was trying to solve a complicated puzzle.

I played dumb. "I don't know what you're talking about..."

He arched his brows.

"We're just excited for the trip. That's all. Say, Killian, are you good at skiing?"

He scratched at his chin which showed just a hint of stubble. "Skiing? Not really."

I searched his face for any indications he was lying. I found none. "You sure?"

"I would say I'm decent but that's it."

My shoulders straightened and I lifted my chin. "Well, prepare yourself to eat my dust then."

The corners of his lips curled up. "Sure, bring it on."

Oh, I couldn't wait to rub that in his face. "Count on it."

"By the way"—Killian dropped his voice—"did you see your team play the last few weeks?"

I blinked rapidly. Team? What team?

"Three losses in a row. That comeback is moving further away as we speak..."

It took me a second to get it. He was talking about football...

My hands flexed.

Patience.

I would wipe that smug smile off his face very soon. "Here I thought my first impression of you was wrong, but there you go again, reminding me why I don't like you in the first place."

He reclined in his seat, a lazy smile spreading over his face. "Because I'm right ninety-nine percent of the time?"

"More like twenty," I shot back.

"Really? When was I ever wrong then?"

I ground my teeth. "You just love riling people up, don't you?"

His smile widened. "Well, don't be so easily riled up then."

"You're the most annoying person I've ever met."

For a second time, Jules let out a strangled noise. I didn't need to look to know that all eyes were on us. Suzy suppressed a grin.

I tucked my fidgety hands under the table but this time it was Sam who saved me. He spoke tentatively into the silence that had ensured. "Um...we'll play tonight. If you want you can join. Do you have Discord**?"

"Sure," I said quickly. I pulled out my phone, opened Discord, and showed him my link. "You can add me."

I made it a point to ignore Killian after that. A task that apparently needed so much of my concentration that it took me twice as long to finish my homework. Three more weeks of this and we were finally free.

My stomach growled and I grabbed an apple that I had packed earlier, acutely aware of the stare burning into my scalp. "What now?" I asked Killian as we left the library, trailing a few steps behind the others.

He tipped his head to the side. "Is it a girl thing? You don't eat carbs or something?"

"Yeah. I am a self-conscious girl, my goal is size zero and I live on air and one apple a day."

He heaved a sigh. "It's just a question."

But somehow all his questions touched my sore points. Which wasn't his fault.

"Why would you even care...?" I mumbled under my breath.

He lowered his head. "What was that?"

"Nothing."

"You're dodging. Is it a secret or something?"

Actually, it wasn't. "I avoid eating anything with gluten, dairy, or eggs—which is basically ninety percent of the food available everywhere." I stopped and turned to him. "Health reasons. Why are you even interested?"

He straightened but didn't break eye contact. "I'm just curious."

I pursed my lips. "But—why?"

He shrugged, drawing my attention to the way his shoulders seemed to stretch the fabric of his sweatshirt. "I wonder... Your reactions are definitely always interesting."

A hot flush stained my neck. So, he was making fun of me? "Not everyone can be as poker-faced as you are."

A smirk spread over his lips. "Clearly."

Ugh. I was so done with this guy.

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