As Milan got ready to meet Tatiana, her mind was running rampant with all the things that could go wrong. It was a hot May day, so she was putting on a chocolate brown sundress, not too far off from her own skin tone, and a dark denim blue jean jacket. She wore wedge flip flops for an elevated look, literally.
She also kept her accessories simple, clasping a gold dangly anklet on her leg before she stood up straight in the mirror.
Milan never took her ability to lay her own hair down and melt a wig flawlessly for granted. Today, she chose to give the girls a calm 30 inch curly unit, minimal baby hairs, and maximum scalpage.
It was something about meeting the girl Ramses had spent most of his late teens and early twenties with. She was insecure, but not even when it came to looks.
Only when it came to him.
Because Tatiana did know him better. She knew his favorite food, she knew what movie he likes to put on when he's just lounging around the house... she knew him when he was not in survival mode.
And Milan felt like all she knew was his militant side and of course, what the sex was like with him.
However, she did not feel close to him. It literally felt like a trauma bond, and that is what made her insecure.
Because Tatiana was a bigger asset to his case than she could ever be, and the only way she could know him like Tatiana knew him was if he was able to beat this case. She hated that the only way they could continue, which wasn't even guaranteed, is if she was on board.
Trying her best to push those "woe-is-me" thoughts out of her head, Milan went to the closet of her hotel room and picked out a bright orange mini purse to be her pop of color amongst the dark brown and denim of her clothing.
Spraying herself down with her favorite perfume and doing a once over spin in the mirror again, she declared herself ready to go and went downstairs to her car.
For some reason, Milan also wasn't scrambling to leave the hotel she was at either. She enjoyed having her own space and even more so the fresh towels she got every morning without having to do laundry. She had made such good friends with housekeeping that they know allowed her to use the washer and drawer of the establishment.
This was her first time living on her own without her brother-- or anyone else of that matter.
And as long as she was able to afford it, she was not going to rush herself on getting her feet.
As Milan got in her car and threw her purse in the backseat, she truly took the time to check in with herself. She knew she was already complaining about how her life had changed so much, and been effected so heavily by her involvement with Ramses and even Marcus.
But she knew this would happen when she first started out.
She knew she never truly wanted anything with Marcus. They had been co-workers for over a year and up until when she got desperate, she knew she never saw anything in him. Milan hated that she wasted both of their time.
She also knew what dealing with Ramses would bring her. No matter how much he swore to keep her out of the mix. He was the mix. Him and her brother. Saving him was fine, but her getting romantically involved with him brought exactly what she knew it would.
Pain and chaos.
Something gang life thrived off of.
And Milan wanted normal. She was a civilian, and she didn't want anything less or anything more.
Her ties to the men in her life, kept that from her.
Now it was time for her to actually do something about it. Forever run scared and be tied to their decisions, or break free from the cycle. The second choice was what she wanted the most.
But it was most definitely easier said than done.
Pulling up to the establishment, Milan parked her car and sat in it for a minute. Immediately not only did the memories of her mother taking her here rush back to her, but the stress of being in the same place where her brother ordered a now dead boy to shoot up to teach her a lesson rained down on her.
Looking at herself in her rearview mirror, her eyes fixated on the now faint scar from one of the bullets grazing her that day.
Milan was a survivor.
She had survived her parents unsolved murder.
She had survived food insecurity while living with her grandparents.
She had survived her work place being shot up.
She had survived a hit her brother put out on her.
She'd survived kidnapping, a stick up, and so much more if she wanted to go into detail. And half of the new additions to the list had happened in the last six months. She had survived it all, and she would be damned if she let a loud baby momma scare her away from finishing what she had set out to do.
Which was help the man she loved.
Taking a deep breath, Milan left her car and proceeded to go into the Pancake House to wait for Tatiana to arrive.
She told the hostess to sit her somewhere that her guest could see her when they arrived. This led to her being seated in a booth not too far from the entrance of the establishment.
Milan put in an order for a mimosa while she waited, scrolling through her phone for a couple of minutes.
In the next fifteen minutes, Milan was halfway into her glass when a shadow slowly eclipsed over her. Looking up, she was greeted by a toffee brown bald man with faded tattoos on show as he wore a dark gray muscle top.
He didn't bother speaking to her as he slid into the opposite of the booth. Milan's eyes all but bulged out of her head at his audacity. "Excuse me, I--"
The man smirked, pointing Milan away from his direction to the other waiting person at their table.
It was Tatiana.
She had brought this big oaf of a man with her. She was dressed in a baby pink jumpsuit with a gray graphic cardigan. A chunky oversized cuban link adorned her neck. Milan resisted the urge to scrunch her nose up at the gaudy piece of jewelry.
Tatiana's hair was done up in a curly updo. Loose tresses of curls fell down over her face. She definitely had put on some sweat since they last crossed paths, but she didn't look bad. Pregnancy suited her.
Milan would never be a hater. Even if the bitch was crazy, she wasn't ugly.
"Hey," Tatiana dryly spoke, while Milan was still shocked at the man who was casually reading the menu although his hands made it seem like a children's book instead.
"Hey... thanks for coming." Milan recovered now, sitting back against the backrest of the booth and grabbing one of the menus in the middle of the table herself.
The waitress that sat Milan came back to the table and smiled at the group as she readied her pen and paper. "Good morning everyone, my name's Tammy and I'll be your server for today. Are you guys ready to order or--"
"Lemme get the big stack-a pancakes. I need three sausage patties fried hard and my eggs scrambled with pepper jack cheese." Tatiana's ogre broke the woman's spill and ordered his meal.
Tammy rolled her lips inward and just nodded as she wrote down what he'd just barked out.
Tatiana cleared her throat next, she glanced at Milan like she wanted her to go on instead. Milan took the hint.
"Hi, I'll have the strawberry topped french toast with extra powdered sugar. Scrambled eggs and bacon on the side please." She rattled off, and the waitress smiled at her when she was done. Then, she turned to Tatiana.
"I'mma have the chocolate chips pancakes. No eggs. Sausage links."
The man snickered after she finished her sentence which caused Tatiana to glare at him. The man wasn't phased at all.
"Alright, I'll put these in and your orders will be out soon." Tammy the waitress said as she scooped up the menus on the table and left as quickly as she came.
The table was silent.
Milan looked between Tatiana and her friend... waiting to be introduced, but Tatiana stared back at Milan with her eyes as blank as a white bedsheet.
"Okay, so..." Milan started, folding her hands on the table. "I asked you to come here Tati because Pharoah is in jail and his lawyer asked if I could convince you to take the stand as--"
"She ain't going in no courtroom." The man beside Tatiana butt in gruffly.
He didn't even make eye contact with Milan as he said it. He was engrossed in something on his phone.
"What?" Milan said before it even could register in her brain. She wasn't even talking to him, why was he answering for her? Tatiana definitely had a mouth that could speak for itself.
"I said, she ain't going to no courtroom." The man repeated again. Still not sparing Milan a glance. Milan turned her attention from him and looked at Tatiana, the woman's face was still blank.
"Tatiana, what the fuck is going on? Why is he making decisions for you?" Milan asked her, irritation seeping into her tone.
"I'm her n*gga. And I ain't gon' let my bitch take the stand for no BL punk."
Although the whole sentence was news to Milan. It was the fact he called Ramses a "BL punk" that made Milan cock her head to the side. If the man was blatantly dissing Ramses, that means he ran against him.
Milan looked at the man more closely, her eyes truly analyzing the plethora of visible tattoos on the mans body.
And that's when she found it.
The faint raised scar of a branding of a ragged check mark had been darkly tattooed over on his bicep. The Vice Disciples didn't do gang tattoos. They had to go one step deeper and actually brand their higher ranked members.
Mr.Clean here definitely was not on Ramses's side. He was on Chrisanto's.
And more importantly, Devon's.
He obviously wasn't close enough to know too much of Devon's business or he wouldn't have even been entertaining her if he knew she was his sister.
And how much Devon had done to almost kill her.
Tatiana had been literally sleeping with the enemy all along.
"Well, she is his best shot at not doing a life sentence. Shit, she dated him for half a decade. Her testimony should move the jury because she's known him a long time." Milan tried to explain to the guy. He wasn't hearing anything she was saying.
"That don't mean shit to me if she been my bitch as long as she been his. Fuck you thought this was?" The man rebutted Milan's request.
Milan was in absolute disbelief.
All while the man was talking Tatiana was silent. She said nothing as she looked around the restaurant, sipped her water, and fiddled with the charms on her extra long fingernails.
This was the quietest Tatiana had been in her presence since they'd met.
And maybe that was because Ramses wasn't around for her to scream his name. Not with this big lump of muscle hanging over her.
She looked at Tatiana's growing belly and her head snapped over to the man again. "And what about the baby?" Milan tested the waters.
Now that stirred a reaction out of Tatiana, her gaze immediately turning ice cold towards Milan.
"My baby don't have nothing to do with Ramses."
Oh, this bitch is gon' die.