ELIZA
I wake up to the sound of my alarm blaring into my ears. Memories of yesterday flood back into my mind, yanking me out of my groggy state. Alert, I sit up scanning the room frantically, when there seems to be no signs of Jasper, I look down and notice the duvet covering the lower part of my body. I was on my bed, but I was sure I had slept on the floor last night.
Did Jasper place me here before he left?
Pulling the cover off, I stand, moving away from my bed and towards the note sitting on my desk. The writing was placed on the back of a scrap piece of paper, and definitely not as messy as I though it would have been
Be ready by 5, I'm taking you somewhere.
As I go to place the note down, I notice a small necklace sitting in it's place. I reach out for it, holding it in the palm of my hand. The charm rests against the lines on my hand, intact and unscathed.
Jasper never threw it into the lake.
And although I was flooded with relief, part of me was unsure on what I should feel like. Should I still be angry - for something he didn't do? Was my pain all he wanted to see? I don't know what to feel. Do I thank him for not destroying the remnants of my dad? Or do I harbour my grudge for making me loose my mind?
I close the clasp of the necklace around my neck, placing it under my top as I head to the bathroom to freshen up.
I don't know what to feel.
Am I crazy for not feeling resent?
He had it with him, but why did he choose to return it to me now? Wouldn't I have 'forgiven' him faster if he had just handed it back the same day, or even when he came to apologise the first day he came here? Why now?
I head out of the bathroom, and down to the kitchen, where Elijah sat, eating breakfast. I place a bowl on the counter, trying not to remember how Jasper had walked through the very same room, les than 10 hours ago.
"Has he left?" Elijah speaks up.
"Ezra? I think he's still sleeping." I reply absentmindedly.
"No, I mean the guy you snuck in last night."
I freeze, turning around slowly to face him, my voice slightly high pitched, "What are you on about, I didn't sneak anyone in."
He chuckled, still scrolling on his phone, "First off, you're a horrible liar. Secondly, I saw him in the garden last night, and you guys weren't as quiet as you thought you were."
I open my mouth and close it like a fish, what do I tell him?
"Don't even try to deny it, Izzy."
I look away, pursing my lips, "I wasn't going to."
"Right. So, did he leave?"
"Yeah, he left before I woke up." I bite my lips, "I hope he's alright, he was injured and trekking through the rain. I'm not sure if one blanket was enough, to be honest."
Elijah chokes on his breakfast, "Did you guys sleep in the same bed?"
I side eye him, watching him as he tries to recover from the coughing fit, "No. And even if we did, would it be a problem?"
"Yes. You're a child."
"I'm 16."
"Exactly, a child."
"You slept around so much when you were my age!" I protest, "Is it because I'm a girl? Are you being sexist?"
"No, it's because you're my sister, I would say the same to Ezra." He swivels on his chair facing me, "And I did not sleep around, I was just in some... multiple relationships, ok?"
"Yeah and so you slept with most, if not all, and two times more than I would because you were scoring with the guys aswell." I retort, placing my bowl of cereal on the table.
"Don't have to judge, damn." He grumbles.
"Then don't comment about my sex life," I reply, "Not that there's anything to comment about."
He laughs before asking, "One last thing, why is there so much ice cream in the freezer?"
-
I sit on the front of my steps, my chin resting on the palms of my hands as I wait for Jasper to collect me. Despite my conflicting feelings about him, I decided to follow along with his request, and join him, wherever he decides to take me.
What possessed me to actually decide to end up going I'm not actually sure. Perhaps it was my worry that he may turn on me in an instant if I decided to refuse his offer, or maybe it was because I'm genuinely curious about where he wanted to take me. As much as I hate to admit it, I feel like I'm been using my paranoia as an excuse to take his offer. But in truth, maybe there was small parts of me that wanted something new and thrilling, maybe it was Jasper who could offer it.
He had been bringing out feelings I've not really wanted to show, although mostly negative, but it's like a drug, I keep coming back for more. With him there's always someone to fight back with, and I'm always on edge, or maybe I've finally lost it.
Whatever the reason was, it lead me to this moment here waiting on my front steps, waiting for this enigma to show up.
I look up from the floor when the sound of an approaching vehicle stops in front of my house. It looked very out of place in my neighbourhood. The sleek black paint of the car, reflects my shock as I reached for the door handle.
"You own a Bugatti?" I ask as I adjust my seat belt.
"No, I have four actually." He replies, with a small smirk.
"No need to be so humble." I scoff, facing him.
"I'm surprised you know what one looks like."
"What is it with the men around me and being sexist today?" I mutter.
"Oh, I'm not saying it because you're a girl. It's because you're you," he looks at me briefly, "You know, you lack a few braincells here and there."
"We're not friends yet, motherfucker."
"Good," he changes the gear before replying, "Because, I don't plan on being friends with you."
What did he mean by that, did he not come to apologise yesterday or was I dreaming? I clench my teeth, slowly starting to regret my decision of joining him today. But despite my annoyance, I ignore his last comment and divert the topic of our discussion.
"So, where are we going?"
"You'll find out, but you have to promise you won't just walk away."
"As long as you're not taking me to one of your rings again." I jibe.
His eyebrows raise as he chuckles slightly, "Oh trust me on this, lesson learnt."
I hum, turning my head around, scanning the interior of the car - it's not everyday you ride in a luxury brand car.
"Are those flowers for me?" I ask, letting out a small laugh.
"You're not that special, sweetheart." He replies, giving me a sideways glance.
My smile drops, and I turn to him with a bored expression, "Please, stop flattering me, I can't take it anymore."
Just as I finish speaking, his car halts by two large gates. I hadn't seen those black gates in half a year, but even still, they hadn't left my mind. I let out a shady breath, and give a small glance to Jasper. He had told me not to protest, so I comply, not letting any noises of disdain leave my mouth.
We walk in silence as we pass by the rows of stone, each slab representing the short life of soul who was lost to death. Decorative flower beds had littered the sides of the path we walked, the colours of green and yellow contrasting the dull grey that hung in the graveyard.
I walk two steps in front of Jasper, not sure what to think about as we approach the one thing I had avoided.
"Dad." I whisper to myself, as we stop.
Jasper moves to the front, placing the bouquet of flowers on the gravestone. There were already fresh flowers on them, placed on either side of the headrest, small white lilies. He moves away, leaving me alone with my dad, for what feels like the first time in an eternity.
I crouch, seating myself on the trimmed grass, staring at his name. Strangely, I had felt a small amount of peace settling in my mind. Like I had returned home after a long trek through a forest. And here my dad was, waiting for me, no matter how long it took for me to reach, he waited right there.
YUUTA HAYASHI
In memory of a loving father, husband and brother.
"Though I have left, let my memories live in you."
I swallow once more, "I'm sorry dad."
"I was scared," I glance down, "And I really, really miss you."
There was no one like my father, he was hard working, always placing a smile on his face when he did a job - even if it was something he despised. He got through the day thinking about us, I know because he told us this, many times. He was amazing.
We weren't well off, we had our moments of struggle, but never once did my dad disappoint us. He remained strong, and faithful. And now he was resting, after many tough years of holding himself and the family up, he was able to sleep for a very, very long time. And I won't disturb him.
I think I had a better relationship with my dad than I did with my mum, to be honest. I think both me and Ezra did, Elijah was a mum's boy. Always sticking up for her and caring for her, even now, when she has appointments at the hospital, he always makes sure he's there with her.
And she was always there for him to, every game, every assembly, every moment Elijah would shine, she was there. She was a strict mum, she played the 'bad cop' and dad played the 'good cop'. But now, she's not there, even if she was physically present, she wasn't there mentally. And I started to realise as time went on that, we had actually lost two parents on the night of dad's death. Mum was a ticking time bomb now, she had been diagnosed with Cardiomyopathy shortly after a small heart attack.
Each day of that month was misery, no good news had reached us for a long time, but we still made it out, slightly scathed, but alive nonetheless.
I play with the small tuft of grass next to me.
I wish I had the answers like dad did, a solution, no matter how small, to help everyone. But this journey was for everyone to walk alone.
———
Hey guys,
I hope you enjoyed today's chapter. Please don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT any errors in my writing.
Thank you,
Elle x