~~Akanksha~~
“Akki.” A small smile graced my lips at the soft voice. It felt like I was pulled into a cocoon of warmth.
I turned around to find Jai standing a few feet away from me. He stood there leaning against the wall, finding support from the wall. I have never seen Jai like this. So weak. So shattered. He has been the strongest man I have ever met. Composing myself, I walked towards him. Taking hold of his hand, I brought him to the cushion and made him sit on it.
I then crouched down at his feet, still holding his hands in mine.
Jai sniffled, “I couldn’t understand anything, Akki. I don’t know what to do.”
His lower lip wobbled and his eyes turned glassy.
I smiled sadly, “You do know, Jai.” I whispered. I am damn sure that Jai understood everything and also has an idea what he should do but he is scared.
I raised my hand and cupped his cheek. He leaned into my touch.
“I… I… can’t, Akki.” The tears that pooled up in his eyes have finally fallen down breaking my heart.
“Jai!” I called softly. He leaned his forehead on mine.
“I can’t leave you, Akki! I can’t.”
“We don’t have another way, Jai.” I whispered.
“There has to be!” Jai stubbornly answered, backing away from me, “It can’t be like this. I won’t allow this.”
I now stood up and took a step away from him, “Then tell me. What should we do?”
He just looked up at me.
“Should we stick to our original plan? You getting divorced and marrying me?” I asked. He kept staring at me.
“Then Advika will go back to her normal life. With her parents. Maybe we can find a person for her and get her married?”
Jai shut his eyes tight and a few more tears spilled down.
“Jai, you’re already married to her…."
Jai abruptly stood up, "Stop it Akki! If it wasn't for this stupid rule of yours we would have been married by now and all of this wouldn't have even arised." He spat out.
I chuckled bitterly, "Then tell me why do I have this stupid rule?"
He just stared at me with his tear filled eyes. I know I'm being harsh here but it's time for us to embrace the reality. At this moment of his life, I need to stand beside him and provide him support. But I lost that right. Now, it's not me who should stand beside him. It's his wife. Which is not me and can never be me.
"Despite being in a relationship all these years, we weren't married. Nothing would have stopped us. Not even my stupid rule. Then why weren't we married, Jai?" I asked, suppressing the growing pain in my heart. I always believed that everything happens for a reason. Everything means everything. Jai might be thinking that my stupid rule and Advika are the reason for not getting us married. But what I think is Advika's fate was way back Tangled with Jai's. That's why even our love hasn't stopped them from getting married. And now, my stupid heart believes that Robin died because it's time for Advika to be united with Jai.
I looked at Jai who is silently staring back at me.
"Because we weren't bound to be together." With much difficulty I choked out those words. Right at that moment, I myself pulled a sword and sliced my heart into two.
"Don't say that." Jai whispered. Tears kept on leaking down his beautiful eyes. I know that I should wipe them but I have no energy left within me.
"I can't find any other option, Jai. They need you." I voiced out weakly.
"But I need you!" He cried out.
I smiled weakly, "Advika has already been through so much pain, Jai. Let's not cause her more."
Jai sniffed.
"And… Adiraj? What wrong has that innocent kid done? Why does he need to lose his father? Hell, he doesn't even know who his father is!"
Jai dropped down to his knees. Right now all I wish is to just disappear into thin air because I can't… I can't see Jai like this.
"They need you, Jai. Just like Robin trusted, only you can keep them safe." I whispered.
"But what about you?" He whispered looking up at me, "You're my life, Akki. My ultimate destination. Now… because of all this… I can't choose someone else."
With every word that Jai was hurling at me, I became weak but somehow, I picked up my shattered parts and held them together.
I shook my head, "Let Advika be your only choice, Jai. Let her be your ultimate destination."
Jai shook his head vigorously, "Let's don't come to this. I'll speak with Advika. We can find some solution."
"No!" I immediately answered, "Don't do that."
"Why?"
Closing my eyes, I blew out air and then opened again, "Advika deserves to know this, Jai. But it only leaves her shattered. No woman can stay sane after knowing that her husband wanted her to marry someone."
Jai just blinked his eyes.
"Even without knowing all these, Advika has gladly agreed for the divorce. Now after knowing this, she will definitely walk out of our way. I can say that for sure."
"But…." Jai dragged knowing that there is still more.
"But… she won't marry again. She will never!! And it leaves her alone and Adiraj… can never have a father."
"I can be there for him. I will take care of him. After knowing that he is Robin's son, do you think I'll leave him alone?" Jai asked. Now his expression is turning aggressive.
"It doesn't be the same, Jai. Without being his father, you can't always be with him. You can't make him your priority!!" I cried out. Everything seems possible now but in reality and with each passing day, that doesn't happen.
"Advika is already your wife, dammit!! Why can't you understand that!!" I screamed at him.
"Because I love you." He whispered. I always loved whenever Jai made a love confession but right now, I can't.
"But we can't let our love snatch away others happiness, right?" I asked in return. Jai immediately broke down into tears.
"Let them be your only choice, Jai. Let them be." I stressed those words again and again. Hoping that Jai would understand the situation
Finally, hanging his head down, he slowly nodded. My heart broke right at that moment.
For one last time, I couldn't help but move close towards him and dropped to my knees in front of him. He immediately pulled me into a tight hug and buried his face into my neck.
I whispered to my heart to not have any hopes.
Wrapping my hands around him I kept on rubbing his back. His every sob broke my heart into another piece but I should be strong. For now. When finally after what felt like hours he calmed down.
"Jai." I called him.
He chose not to respond but it didn't stop me from asking.
"Who is Advika?"
After a whole minute he answered, "My wife."
I bit my lips to stop my tears. I fisted my hands so as not to lose my control. I have to do this. I have to do this. I have to do this for the person I love. I have to be strong. I have to make this decision.
I kept on reminding myself.
Clenching my jaw tight I pulled up all my strength to ask my second question, "Who is Adiraj?"
His reply came immediately, "My son."
I swallowed hard to kill the burning sensation in my throat, "Who am I?"
With that question he tightened his arms around me and I finally let out my tears slowly.
"A memory. Beautiful yet painful." His hoarse voice finally broke me completely. Unable to contain any more I detached from him and moved far away.
He raised his red rimmed eyes to me and that's when I died completely. And I don't even want to be reborn.
Jai then raised his right hand and pointed his forefinger towards me. Then again he pointed the same finger towards his chest and poked it at the place where his heart beats. He then rubbed the area and casted a small smile towards me.
And I froze. Completely froze in my place. That's what he did. The very first time he laid his eyes on me. That's what he did and that's how everything started between us.
And again that's how everything is going to end between us.
He then immediately stood up and took a back step. Step after step until he completely disappeared from my vision.
I don't how I even stopped my legs from running after him.
Not to have any more hopes that he is gonna return back from the path he just exited, I turned around.
There he is. Near the gate. Leaned against the gate and looked up at me.
He just stood there staring at me with tears in his eyes. Without blinking, I stared at him, capturing him into my memory.
After what felt like hours, he walked out, taking away my soul with him and leaving my corpse behind.
I stood there, gripping the railing tight hoping that it would stop me from racing down to Jai.
It would be easy. So much easy for me to let him choose me. Every second of my agonising pain I'm facing now will just evaporate but no. It's not an option. It's not the choice I have to make.
Suddenly, when I felt a presence behind me, I leaned into him. I let my mental and physical weight fall upon him because I know whenever and whatever the situation might be, he will always be there for me to pick me up.
"You shouldn't have done that." Bhai said, placing his hands on my shoulders and gently massaging them.
I shook my head, "I have to , Bhai. I have to."
"There will be some way to do this. We can solve this, Akki."
I shook my head again, "Even if we find that and solve this, Jai can't be happy with me, Bhai. After what happened, he can't stop thinking about them. He can't stop worrying about them and I know for sure that Advika will not marry again. And I can't be selfish and rob a father from that innocent boy."
I really can't do that. Even before all this chaos, I felt like I was intruding into their life. And now after knowing everything, I can't trash away a dead man's wish.
There has to be a reason why he has chosen Jai to be his wife's husband after all these years. And just because of my selfish love, I can't break that. It will tear all of us apart.
"I can't see you like this, Akki." He said and the pain in his voice hasn't gone unnoticed.
Unable to control myself anymore, I turned around and buried myself into Bhai's arms. The safest place for me in this entire world. I let myself calm down in his warmth but the pain that's killing me has finally let me broke and I completely broke down in his arms.
Why? Why should it happen like this? Where were the dreams we wanted to fulfil? Where were the moments we promised to be with each other till eternity? Why hadn't they stopped all this from happening?
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I really really couldn't write this chapter.... So it might not be up to the mark.... Please bear with me my lovelies...