Homestar Saga

By DestroyatronMk8

1.6K 337 3

The pixens are a people without a planet. Forced to live as refugees, they eke out a living as adult entertai... More

Chapter 1: The Only Thing Worse Than a Human
Chapter 2: Madlad Mims
Chapter 3: Battle for the Big Mama
Chapter 4: Public Relations
Chapter 5: Tact and Diplomacy
Chapter 6: Crime, Commerce, and Cake
Chapter 7: Girl Talk
Chapter 8: Incursion
Chapter 9: Reinforcements
Chapter 10: Charge of the Gunzerker
Chapter 11: Suicide Run
Chapter 12: Kamikaze
Chapter 13: Everything New is Old Again
Chapter 14: Jumpdrive
Chapter 15: The Darkening
Chapter 16: Neutral Species
Chapter 17: Take Me To Your Leader
Chapter 18: Dubious Employer
Chapter 19: Analog
Chapter 20: Derelict
Chapter 21: Move Fast and Break Stuff
Chapter 22: Pressing Concerns
Chapter 23: Agent of the Xill
Chapter 24: Outcasts
Chapter 25: Hunters of the Void
Chapter 26: Bigger Guns
Chapter 27: Bigger Guns
Chapter 28: Boarding Party
Chapter 29: Scargiver
Chapter 30: Agent of Terra
Chapter 31: Secrets
Chapter 32: Code Galactica
Chapter 33: Galactica Protocol
Chapter 34: Debrief
Chapter 35: Aldara Remembers
Chapter 36: Space Captain
Chapter 37: Recompense
Chapter 38: Panic Attack
Chapter 39: There Are No More Akindi
Chapter 40: Mimsey Get Your Guns
Chapter 41: The Price of Fame
Chapter 42: Mommy Issues
Chapter 43: The Tallest
Chapter 44: The Art of Intimidation
Chapter 45: Mobs and Monsters
Chapter 46: Public Transport
Chapter 47: The Hall of Masters
Chapter 48: To Krog or Not to Krog
Chapter 49: Technically the Truth
Chapter 50: Almost Perfect
Interlude 1: Prey Animals
Chapter 51: Distress Call
Chapter 52: Literally Pirates
Chapter 53: Civilians
Chapter 54: Shoulda Woulda Coulda
Chapter 55: Conversations With Cat People
Chapter 56: Already Dead
Chapter 57: A Force For Good
Chapter 58: The Big Dirty
Chapter 59: No Cake For You
Chapter 60: Don't Get Caught
Chapter 61: Tortuga
Chapter 62: Out of Beer
Chapter 63: War Games
Chapter 64: Hostage
Chapter 66: Dark Matter
Chapter 67: Boundaries
Chapter 68: Abomination
Chapter 69: Trial of the Pixens
Chapter 70: Accidents and Stupid Ideas
Chapter 71: Time to Rock and Roll
Chapter 72: Symphony of Destruction
Chapter 73: The Fall of the Random Encounter
Chapter 74: False Alarm
Chapter 75: Fight or Flight
Chapter 76: Deux Ex Machina
Chapter 77: The Long Con
Chapter 78: Born in Blood
Chapter 79: The Crystal City
Chapter 80: Only I Remain
Chapter 81: The Peacekeeper
Chapter 82: Collective Bargaining
Chapter 83: The Pixen Technocracy
Chapter 84: City 43
Chapter 85: The Longest Night
Chapter 86: Saving the City
Chapter 87: Non-Standard
Chapter 88: Robot Army
Chapter 89: Reba
Chapter 90: The Homestar
Chapter 91: Agents of Pixa
Chapter 92: Head Pixen In Charge
Chapter 93: Messenger Duty
Chapter 94: The Pixen Stellar Defense Force
Chapter 95: No Mercy For Slavers
Chapter 96: Wheel Theory
Chapter 97: Stingers
Chapter 98: Trust
Chapter 99: Side Trip
Chapter 100: Crystal Communion
Chapter 101: Out of Range
Chapter 102: Klaath Queens
Chapter 103: Infection
Chapter 104: Ace in the Hole
Chapter 105: Last Resort
Chapter 106: A Nice Surprise
Chapter 107: Playing Dress-up
Chapter 108: Trade Deal
Chapter 109: Shindig
Chapter 110: Tactical Necessity
Chapter 111: New Guy
Chapter 112: First Lesson
Chapter 113: Cunning and Brave
Chapter 114: Game Plan
Chapter 115: Infowars
Chapter 116: Counterintelligence
Chapter 117: Rescue
Chapter 118: Monster on Board
Chapter 119: Varma Award
Chapter 120: They Know
Chapter 121: Failure
Chapter 122: The Fall of Brilend Prime
Chapter 123: The Fifth Law of Power
Chapter 124: Running
Chapter 125: The Enterprise
Chapter 126: Invasion
Chapter 127: Fools Flailing in the Dark
Chapter 128: Annihilation Retrieval
Chapter 129: The Last Hope
Chapter 130: Still Standing
Chapter 131: Harbinger
Chapter 132: Costly Declaration
Chapter 133: Already Losing
Chapter 134: Pretending to be Professionals
Chapter 135: Operation BACKLINE
Chapter 136: Coffee
Chapter 137: Meeting of the Minds
Chapter 138: Wake Up Call
Chapter 139: The Silence of the Xill
Chapter 140: The Other Shoe
Chapter 141: Publicity Stunt
Chapter 142: More Expendable
Chapter 143: Soul Gaze
Chapter 144: Motivational Speaker Mims
Chapter 145: Doomsday Clock
Chapter 146: Insufficient
Chapter 147: One Shot
Chapter 148: Pursuit
Chapter 149: Eight on One
Chapter 150: Wrath of the Skygem
Chapter 151: Jewel of the Sky
Chapter 152: Learned Behaviors
Chapter 153: Learned Behaviors
Chapter 154: Rules of Engagement
Chapter 155: Assault on Aldara
Chapter 156: Smart Humans and Stupid AI
Chapter 157: Way of the Starfang
Chapter 158: Shell Game
Chapter 159: Tactically Unsound
Chapter 160: Monster In Paradise
Chapter 161: Gunboat Diplomacy
Chapter 162: The Privilege Of The Strong
Chapter 163: Motherless Sons
Chapter 164: Defector
Chapter 165: Spite and Spycraft
Chapter 166: Love and Loss
Chapter 167: The Return of the Klaath
Chapter 168: Connor Protocol
Chapter 169: Frame-Up
Chapter 170: A Game of Death

Chapter 65: Starlost

7 2 0
By DestroyatronMk8

"We have to get her back." Lissa Kiver donned her helmet. She sat at her console and pulled up flight controls.

"We can't," said the Captain.

Lissa's head snapped around. "Did you see what they're doing to her?"

"I saw." Mims scratched the back of his head. "But we still can't."

"The Recompense isn't operational, yet," Yvian cut in. "If we don't have stealth, the pirates-"

"Fuck the pirates," Lissa cut her off. "We'll kill anyone that gets in our way."

"The pirates aren't the problem," the human told her. "And neither is the Recompense. We've got another stealth cruiser if we need it." The hanger bay doors opened. Lissa maneuvered the Random Encounter out into the void. "Where are you taking us?"

"After them," Lissa snapped back. Then she paused, thinking. "Crunch."

"And that's the problem," said Mims. "We don't know who these people are. We don't know where they're keeping the hostage."

"We've got twelve hours to find out," Lissa declared.

"That's not enough time," said Mims. "Even if it was, the hostage will be killed the second we start sniffing around. They'll space her and disappear."

"So, what?" Lissa demanded. "We're just supposed to let her die?" The Encounter sped away from the shipyard, speeding towards the hidden entrance to their hollowed out asteroid. "It's not like we can give them what they want. The Xill haven't given us the planet, yet."

"Wouldn't help if we did," Mims told her. "They'll kill her as soon as they get what they want."

Lissa stared at him. Yvian could not discern her expression through the helmet. "You don't care at all, do you? You hate my mother."

"I do hate your mother," Mims admitted. "If it were up to me, I'd say goodbye and good riddance." Lissa took a sharp intake of breath, but before she could speak the Captain continued, "but it's not up to me. Your fights are my fights, remember? We'll do everything in our power to save the hostage."

"We know you love her," Yvian added. She put a hand on her sister's shoulder. "We won't let her die."

Lissa was quiet for a moment. She said, "She's not just 'the hostage,' you know. She has a name."

"Not right now she doesn't," said the Captain. "We need to be objective if we're going to do the hostage any good." He glanced meaningfully out the viewport. "If we get too emotional we might just blast off into the void without a plan."

Lissa brought the Random Encounter to a stop. "Okay." She took a breath. She took off her helmet. She breathed out. "Okay. So how are we going to get her back?"

"We can't," Mims said again. "Not by ourselves." He sat down at his console. "But I know someone who can."

Mims sent out a comm request. A voice answered. "I'm with my family right now, Mims. This had better be important."

"It is," Mims assured the voice. "I need a comm trace and a strike team."

"No."

"No?" The Captain's brow furrowed.

"You know the agreement, Mims. Venturetech will not assist you with your personal battles. We are a business. We are not your private army."

"I'm not breaking the agreement, Mondi," said Mims. "This is a special case."

"It's Mr. Starlost to you, human," Mondi said coldly. "And the answer is no."

Mondi Starlost? Yvian's eyes went wide. The CEO of Venturetech was something of a public figure. He was one of the richest most powerful men in the Confed. Even Yvian knew who he was, and she almost never watched the news. A second later she had to resist the urge to slap her own forehead. Of course Mims knew the CEO of Venturetech. He owned the company.

"No it isn't," Mims told him. "I agreed not to drag Venturetech into personal conflicts, but this is a business matter. You'll help deal with it or I'll fire your smug ass and hire someone else."

"Do it, then," Mr. Starlost dared him. "I'll retire and take my entire staff with me. We'll see how long you can hold this company together on your own."

"This wouldn't be necessary if you'd done your job right and maintained information security," Mims growled. "Now some other company knows about the Homestar Project. They've taken Lissa's mother."

"Lissa Kiver?" Mr. Starlost grunted. "You should have led with that. Put her on the comm."

Captain Mims nodded at Lissa. "Mondi?" her voice trembled. "They took my mom."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Kiver." The Venturetech CEO's voice softened. "But don't worry. We'll get her back."

Lissa sniffled. "Thank you."

"Venturetech takes care of its own," Mr. Starlost told her. "My offer still stands, by the way. Any time you tire of traipsing the void with that degenerate human, we would welcome you to a more permanent position. In the meantime, sit tight. We'll find your mother, and everyone who touched her will pay the price. You have my word."

"We appreciate it," said the Captain.

"I wasn't talking to you Mims," the CEO snapped. "I was talking to Ms. Kiver." His voice softened again. "I know you're scared, but it will be alright. I have to go now, but I'll contact you once we have it taken care of. Alright?"

"Okay," said Lissa. "I can send you the comm they sent me."

"No need," Mr. Starlost told her. "This will take a few hours. I know you're worried, but I need you to stay where you are and not do anything else." His voice sharpened again. "That goes for you too, Mims."

"I got it," the Captain sounded annoyed.

"You'd better." The CEO warned. "This is business. I don't need some trigger happy privateer messing things up and getting Lissa's mother killed." He went back to talking nice. "Alright, Lissa. I have to go, now, but don't worry. We'll take care of you, and I'll let you know as soon as we have your mother in hand. Alright?"

"Alright," Lissa agreed. "Thanks, Mondi."

"Think nothing of it," said the CEO. "Venturetech takes care of its own." He ended the transmission.

The Captain leaned back in his chair, thoughtful. "I've never heard him be that nice before."

"Of course you haven't." Lissa blew her nose, then continued. "He hates you."

"Yeah, I guess he's not too fond of humans." Mims scratched the back of his head.

"It's not cause you're human," Lissa told him.

"Because I'm his boss, then?"

"It's because you're a dick."

The Captain shrugged.

"So what do we do now?" Yvian asked.

Mims shrugged again. "We wait. Starlost'll handle it." He frowned. "We might want to put the Encounter back in the docking bay."

"What makes you so sure he can find her?" Lissa asked. She'd stopped crying, but she still looked very worried. Yvian was worried, too, though it annoyed her to admit it.

"Venturetech runs the Nexus Network," Mims reminded them. "They can see every comm that's gone through a Node. Starlost will know who contacted you in minutes, and the location of every person involved within the hour. They'll have a strike team on a ship with a jumpdrive almost as fast, and corporate strike teams are Fucking Dangerous. Even I wouldn't want to tangle with them."

"That's..." Yvian thought through the implications. "That's a lot of power. They could spy on the competition, blackmail officials, all sorts of things."

"All sorts," Mims agreed. "We can even turn a wrist console into a listening device, like the Xill are doing. Venturetech has a lot of juicy contracts with government agencies for that kind of service." He shrugged. "But that's not really important. What matters is they can find the bastards, and they've got a reasonable chance of getting to them undetected."

Yvian frowned. "I don't like the idea of handing off the rescue to someone else."

"I don't either." Mims let out a sigh. "But it's the best way." He looked down at Lissa. She was staring down at the flight controls, wiping her nose again. "Can you take over the bridge for a while? I think Lissa needs a beer."

"I think she needs a hug," said Yvian. "Crunch, I think I need a hug." Her eyes watered, but Yvian refused to let the tears fall. "She was my mother, too. Once."

Mims clapped a hand on her shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "Why don't you two head to the kitchen. I'll join you once we're docked."

"And you'll bake us a cake?" Lissa asked.

Mims reached out to her, and she launched out of her chair to wrap him up in a hug. "I'll bake you a cake." He stroked her hair. "Any kind you want."

Lissa started to cry again. To The Crunch with it. Yvian wrapped her arms around both of them, willingly participating in a group hug for the first time in her life.

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