Sunday rolled around, it's officially been a week since I arrived in South Park. So far it's been okay, other than me relapsing. But I actually feel safe living here. A person makes me feel safe living here, Kenny.
Something about him makes me feel safe. I like him, like in a romantic way. But i'm so afraid of being a burden on him. And it doesn't help that i'll most likely be moving back in Alabama in 10 months.
However, I can't stand not being around him. I feel empty unless I'm around him. I know that's not healthy. According to the therapist I'm co-dependent and that I need to rely on people to make me feel better and that I shouldn't be that way. But I can't help it, especially around Kenny. At first it wasn't bad, but since I spent the night with him that's all I can think about. Y/n, what did you get yourself into.
"Y/n there's a protest down town about if the toilet paper should face the toilet or the sink, wanna come?" Stan said, standing by my bedroom door.
Toilet paper, of course it has to be a toilet paper protest. I lightly grab a hold of my arms.
"Which side are you on?"
"I honestly don't care but all of my friends will be there. I prefer if you came because mom and dad already left to join the rally or protest or whatever it is."
"Sure. I'm on either side I really don't care." I stood up from my bed and walked over to my bedroom door.
"Me too." Stan sighed.
~~
We arrived down town and sure enough, everybody was holding up 2 different signs, one voting for the toilet paper to face the toilet and the other for toilet paper facing the sink. Everybody had pitch forks and fire sticks.
"Is this normal?"
"Only in South Park. Alabama doesn't do this?"
"No, they only fight about abortion."
"Us too except it was the fight against if we should eat unborn fetuses."
I raised my eyebrow at him, he shrugged and got out of the truck, with me following suit. We walked for a couple of minutes before seeing his friends, Kyle, Cartman, Butters, Tweek, Craig, Clyde, Token, and finally...Kenny. Still wearing that same orange parka with his face covered up, and brown ripped up baggy jeans.
We made our way over there. "Which side are y'all on?" I said.
Cartman started hysterically laughing. "Guys guys...she said Y'ALL." Cartman slapped his knees.
"Me, Kyle and Token are for toilet paper facing the toilet." Craig said in his usual emotionless voice.
"So i'm assuming everybody else is on toilet paper facing the sink? What if we don't care?" I said.
"Then you should kill yourself." Cartman laughed again.
Stan and I exchanged glances. Kenny looked at Cartman, and then me. Before I could react Kenny punched Cartman, making him yell out in pain.
"What the fuck!" Cartman yelled, struggling to get up.
Kenny muffled something but I couldn't hear because of the other people yelling about their toilet paper preference.
Stan got closer to me, "Y/n don't listen to fat ass, he doesn't know, only me and you and somewhat Kenny."
"Yeah and if he finds out he'll rip on me harder." I started to turn around but Stan grabbed my arm, I winced and pulled my arm close to me.
"Sorry-Sorry!" Stan said.
"Is everybody just gonna ignore me? I got punched by Kenny!" Cartman yelled, finally being able to stand up.
"How long is the protest gonna last?" Kyle yelled out because it got louder on the streets.
Craig spoke up. "I don't know but I don't wanna be here anymore. Come on Tweek." Tweek twitched and then followed Craig out of the crowd.
"Aw man we lost a team member." Token said with a frown on his face.
It continued to get louder and people were shoving, almost like a mosh pit.
I tried staying near Stan but everybody was too close and on top of each other like the Travis Scott Concert. My heart was racing and my head full of paranoia. I don't want to get crushed.
Tons of people made their way in between me and the group, all of us was all dispersed from one another.
"Stan!" I yelled out but it was no use, everybody was screaming and pitch forks was flying everywhere, I could get hit by one and die, or get smothered to death. Not a fun way to die.
"Kenny!" I shouted for his name.
"Oh my god they killed Kenny!" I recognized Stan's voice but my heart dropped. No. He couldn't have died.
"You bastards!" I heard from the other side of the mosh pit.
And Stan kept saying it, over and over again. And Kyle kept repeating the same thing, over and over again, like marco pollo.
I crawled on some people and scanned the crowd, I saw Stan running to Kyle, still saying that sentence. Made me wonder, was this a recurrence thing where Stan had to say those sentences and Kyle replied. And why Kenny?
Still crawling on the crowd I tried making my way towards my cousin and Kyle. I felt someone grab my ankle and pulled me down, I screamed but then was greeted by Kenny.
"Kenny? Why did you pull me down I was getting across."
"I didn't know it was you, I was trying to crawl my way up as well but I guess I grabbed the wrong limb." He laughed with an embarrassing tone.
"Well great now it's gonna be even harder to get out of this Travis Scott Concert." I was fucking pissed, I wouldn't have came here if it was going to be a huge crowd, since it's toilet paper I thought only a handful would show up. These people really love exercising their right to protest.
Kenny must've saw the anxiety through my body. I was trembling and taking short breaths, looking around as if I was scared I was going to see somebody. I felt him grab my hand and pull me with him, he was in front of me, moving and shoving people out of the way.
With each person he shoved I can see the end of this mosh pit, and with one last shove we were out, still holding to my hand. I saw all of our friends standing in the alley way between these two buildings. We walked over there and I quickly sat down with my back against the wall. Mentally and physically drained.
"Wait, where's Butters?" Kyle said, we looked at the mosh pit and saw Butters being forced to crowd surf.
"Fellas help!" He shouted.
"Will he be okay?" I looked up to where everyone was standing.
"He'll be fine. Lets just get the hell out of here." Cartman said, walking away.
I slowly got up and looked at the crowd again. "I feel bad for leaving him."
"We can't go back, it was hell trying to get out of there." Kenny said.
I felt that feeling again, the overwhelming feeling that makes me feel out of body, intense emotions but at the same time numb. I feel as if nothing is real, the overwhelming yells and screams of people, watching Butters being carried away and nobody is helping. Why am I not helping? I can't physically move my legs, I'm stuck. My mind is stuck. It's hard putting these feelings into words. If I explain these feelings nobody would understand how I'm feeling. It's just something that is unexplainable.
The yells and screams died down, but they were still yelling. I lost complete sense of hearing. Kenny made me turned to him, his hands on my shoulders. I could see his mouth moving, maybe yelling at me. I felt another person put their hands on my back. I turned my head around and saw Stan yelling. Everything was moving in slow emotion, like in a dream. You know how when you're trying to do something in a dream you can't move? Or when you do it's super slow? That's what's happening right now.
I felt my body being shoved out of the alley way and back onto the other side of town where there's hardly anybody here. I saw the group of Stan's friends looking at met. Cartman was laughing hysterically but I can't hear his laughs. Token was staring at me doing nothing, Clyde was talking but I couldn't hear what he was saying. Kyle had his hands on his hat looking distressed. Stan kept shaking me, and Kenny was waving his hands in front of my eyes. The look on Kenny's face will forever be carved in my mind.
I need to get away, I need to run. I need to hide.
I sprinted away, I felt my shoes slap the pavement, causing pain in my feet and ankles. Im not trying to run away from them, Im trying to run away from myself.
~~
hey y'all hope this wasn't cringey lolollol thanks for reading mwah