"Do you think I'd be able to fit an entire orange in my mouth?"
"... What?"
One week left until the festival.
Aside from preparing for that day, our party and the rest of the adventurers were hunting monsters every morning. The reason being, to ensure the success of the festival. That cicadas expedition was only but a tease of our diligent week.
Strangely, Kazuma didn't seem too bothered by the morning monster hunting, leaving me as the only complaining one.
Speaking of Kazuma. He's become an official advisor to the merchant district committee. Because of this, he's rarely home; busy with hatching out ideas on how to make the festival a great success.
Once, he came home and asked Darkness to approve his idea of 'Heat Stroke Prevention and Goddess Aqua Thanksgiving Festival Summary'. In short, it was just an excuse for woman to wear bikinis during the festival.
Darkness, being the politically inexperienced temporary lord she was, agreed to his plan...
"I've been thinking about it for some time now. You know that fruit basket that's on the kitchen table? It's just a thought that appeared in my head once. I've been eyeing those oranges and thinking 'what if?'."
"I... I don't think you should go about putting things into your mouth, like that. And aren't those fruits meant for Emperor Zell? Aqua will cry if you eat them."
"This changed nothing."
The house has been pretty peaceful during this preparation week. It was one of those rare moments when it didn't feel like a psychiatric ward.
Aqua was away, running errands with other Axis cultists preparing for the festival.
Darkness, as the temporary lord, had her hands full of paperwork regarding the festival preparations. Because of that, she's locked herself in her room, and there was no hint of her coming out any time soon.
With Kazuma at the merchant's committee, it meant that Megumin and I had essentially the entire house to ourselves.
Of course, certain thoughts popped up in my head, but being the cautious and thoughtful me, I didn't want to risk anything. Especially Darkness deciding to leave her room at the exact moment things would get good. Also, I didn't want to jump into having this kind of relationship with Megumin so soon.
I mean, if she were to propose the idea, then...
"Just think about it. Would I be able to fit an entire orange in my mouth?"
An exasperated sigh sounded from the spot on the couch next to me. Megumin rested on the couch, drained from using her Explosion magic on the monsters this morning.
Petting Chomusuke on her lap, she replied:
"I guess... if you really, really tried, you might be able to. But why? Are you trying to win something? Did you make a bet with Kazuma again?"
"Okay, last time it was my fault. I should've known better than to challenge that lucky bastard..."
"Do people still call you 'Y/N the wicked', 'The underpants assassin', 'the-'"
"Stop, stop talking! Please, don't remind me! Ugh... I want to die... It was just half an hour..."
"At least the police weren't involved."
"You're not helping..."
Buried by the sudden wave of embarrassment, I sank deep into the couch.
Sometimes I question whether my intelligence stat really is higher than Aqua's...
"I don't think I can show my face with you in public for a while."
"Stop! I get it already!"
- Three days to the start of the festival.
Kazuma came home from his whole day's absence.
"'Detonation Magic Potion Permit Application'...? Hey Kazuma. Why do you need this thing? Isn't it dangerous?" Darkness peered at Kazuma from the paper she just read, frowning.
"That's what you're worried about? He looks like he got jumped by a bunch of muggers in a dark alley. Don't tell me that a random encounter with some bandits left you in this miserable state."
"Of course not. Do you think I'm really that weak? No. A man has things that he must protect at all costs. These wounds are my proof of manhood in protecting what must absolutely be protected. And this magic potion is necessary for the festival. I'm shouldering everyone's will to not let this festival fail."
"I-Is that so? I understand, I won't ask further. I feel it's better not to do so."
Darkness was visibly uneased by Kazuma's sudden resolve. Rightfully so. I've spent too much time with him to not notice the change in his attitude.
Since this is Kazuma we're talking about, there's only one thing that could've pushed him to dedicate his heart to the success of the festival...
His motivation for the cicadas expedition came from the fact that if the cicadas sang all night, people would be unable to sleep because of all the noise. And that would mean that male adventurers wouldn't be able to experience the magical dreams from that shop.
Count to that his excuse for women to wear bikinis during the festival, and possibly more such plans on their way, and it all sounds like Kazuma.
Truly...
"Kazuma."
"Huh? W-What? Why are you shaking my hand?"
... *Sniff* admirable.
-One day to the start of the festival.
"Stop that! Stop it, Y/N! Those oranges were meant for my yellow fluffy baby! They were meant to give him the strength and courage of a real dragon!"
"What do oranges have to do with dragons? Anyway, I don't care! I'm devouring them all"
"Nooo! My sweet Emperor Zell won't grow into a powerful dragon if you do tha- Ah! You won't fit an entire orange into your mouth! Spit it out! I won't be able to revive you if you choke on it!"
Our weekly routine has continued until today. The festival was meant to be held tomorrow, and that meant that our morning monster hunts were finally coming to an end.
It also meant that after the festival, everything will be back to normal. Our crazy daily shenanigans of living in this cursed mansion will return in full swing. That's not to say that I didn't miss them.
"Wahhhh! You actually did it! How am I gonna give my Emperor Zell these filthy and watered down oranges now?"
Aqua came early today, after another day of plottin- I mean, brainstorming ideas with other Axis cultists. She was really cheerful when she came back, which only worried me more.
Megumin stayed home today, too. Darkness, like always, was busy with her duties as the temporary lord. And since the festival was meant for tomorrow, she had a lot of work to do.
It was getting fairly late. Around that time Kazuma always comes home from his meetings with the merchant district committee.
That's how we were spending the time waiting for him.
"Wha-! You actually did it! I know I said that if you really tried you might be able to, but still...!" Megumin exclaimed, observing from the couch.
"I tscholb yu! (I told you!)"
"Ah, they won't be wet under the skin; there's still hope! Spit it out and hand over the rest!" Aqua called out, pointing a finger at me threateningly.
"Make me, yu uschelesch goddesch! (Make me, you useless goddess!)"
"Ho~ I will make you, alright. Divine punishment awaits you if you do not give up the orange fruits."
The eyes of the, suddenly really terrifying, goddess flashed a deep blue color. Cracking her knuckles, she took a stance.
"Yu asht like yu donsth know me. (You act like you don't know me.)"
"But I do know you. You're gonna use Deadly Camouflage or Smokescreen to run away. Fufufu~ Unfortunately for you, your mouth's full. You won't be able to-"
"Deadshly Camouflash."
"E-Eh?! How? You have to say the name of the spell clearly in order for it to work! It can't be... You used it to run away like a coward so many times that now you don't even have to properly say its name in order for it to work?!"
"That sounds very much like Y/N..."
You didn't have to say it in such a tone, Megumin...
Undetectably, I moved to the front door. I planned to make a few circles around the mansion until Aqua eventually gave up.
When I touched the doorknob, the door opened with a slam, sending me to the floor and turning off my Deadly Camouflage. The orange I had in my mouth, spit right in the face of the person who walked inside.
"I'm ho... An orange? Ew, it's all wet... Y/N? What are you doing on the floor?"
"Kazuma, perfect timing! Divine retribution awaits, thief! That'll teach you to not steal food from my kid! God Blow!"
-At night.
After apologising profusely, Aqua agreed to heal my face.
Later, after a nice bath, I was heading to my room.
"Hey Kazuma. Can I have a moment of your time?"
I heard the soft voice of Darkness coming from Kazuma's room.
My eyes were wide open and I stopped in my tracks. I felt myself going red.
"They were close to crossing the line once, but..."
I knew that I shouldn't have, but I peeked inside. If something were to really happen, I would Deadly Camouflage out of there as soon as possible. I'm not that kind of creep.
Darkness was in her nightgown, holding some papers in her hand.
"I completely can't understand the purpose of this 'costume parade'."
Oh.
It was about the festival.
Well, good to know.
But a costume parade, you say?
"Goddess Eris will descend into this world in disguise and act on her own. Have you heard of this legend?" Kazuma asked.
"Oh, yes... This is a popular legend among Eris cultists. Thus, every year at this time, a lot of people in the city will dress up as Eris-sama so she can enjoy the festival in her true form. When the real thing's mixed up with the fakes, Eris-sama won't be so noticeable."
"Oh, it has a deeper meaning. I thought it was just about cosplaying."
"This event is to accommodate with the tradition you mentioned. It's not restricted to dressing up as Eris-sama. One can dress up as a hero, a princess, or Goddess Aqua. In my country, there's a festival called Comiket, which features all kinds of costumes."
"I-Is it? Uh, I think I understand the purpose of this event. But... But this is a festival to praise the goddesses, so... Isn't the permit to dress up as a succubus inappropriate...?"
"That's the point, Clueless-ness."
"What are you saying? This is a rare festival. It's not just the goddesses who want to relax in their true forms. Don't worry, just make an exception for this festival. It's just a few sensuous onee-sans walking the streets, it won't hurt."
"Even if you say so... Uh? Wait. What did you just say? The way you said it sounds like there will be non-divine entities infiltrating the city..."
"Fine, fine. Don't worry. Just stamp the seal! This is the dream of all male adventurers! And the onee-sans agreed that if this proposal is approved, they'll be willing to really dress up as succubi!"
"Who are these 'onee-sans' you mentioned? By the way, why are you so persistent? I get it, I get it! To think that there are women who want to dress up like that. Who are these people...?"
"Wonder if I can ask Megumin to dress up as a succubus for me... She technically already is one. There's a chance she'll cast Explosion magic on me the second I ask her, but... Megumin in a succubus outfit..."
Oh crap, I'm drooling.
.
.
"Citizens of Axel, are you ready for this long-awaited day? I officially announce the start of the Goddess Eris & Goddess Aqua Thanksgiving Festival!"
"Ugh... Who's there...? It's the middle of the night..."
The announcement through the broadcast magic item echoed throughout the city. At the same time, various kinds of magic were fired into the sky to celebrate the start of the festival. The ground roared with similarly loud cheers.
The first day of the festival.
"Mmm... Oh... It's morning?"
I looked out the window and saw the sun hiding behind the clouds. It was a warm summer morning, with birds chirping just outside my window. The cool summer breeze made the torrid air more bearable.
Judging by how high up the sun was, it was around 8 in the morning.
Not my ideal hour to be awake, but since it was the day of the festival, I had some level of motivation to roll out of bed. In the mornings there were always fewer people at these kinds of festivals, so it was a good opportunity to go and see what the hype was about.
With an exaggerated sigh, I dragged myself out of bed and walked through the empty halls of the mansion. Most of the windows were open due to the summer heat, which made the house smell fresh, amplifying the summer feel. It reminded me of the lazy midsummer mornings back in my world.
When I went downstairs, I found Megumin eating breakfast alone. She was munching on some eggs with toast. Her face lit up as soon as she saw me.
"Good morning, Y/N. Everyone got up early today."
"Morning... Yeah, I noticed it's unusually quiet. Where's everyone?" I sat at the table, in front of her.
"Aqua was too excited to sleep last night, so she went out at dawn."
"She's acting like a kid who couldn't sleep in anticipation of a field trip... What about Darkness and Kazuma?"
"After I told Darkness that Aqua was gone, Darkness rushed out as well, saying she wants to keep an eye on Axis Cult so they won't do anything stupid."
"Finally, someone thought to keep an eye on them."
"And Kazuma was here just a few minutes ago, actually. He left just before you showed up. He said he had a few troublemakers to keep an eye on."
"I'm surprised he'd be so on board to deal with them, first thing in the morning. Anyway, are you going to the festival, Megumin?"
"No. I intend to visit Yunyun, who's probably about to cry over the fact that she has nobody to go to the festival with. I'll walk around before her, but I won't invite her along, so I can mess with her feelings. Want to come along, Y/N?" She said all of this innocently drinking her tea.
"Y-You... Just go with her to the festival, geez... I'll go and check out stalls after breakfast."
Finishing her breakfast, she drank the tea in one go, and asked:
"By the way, are you free on the third night of the festival?"
"The third night? I don't see myself doing anything in particular. Just roaming around the stalls, I guess. Why?"
"There's a fireworks display on the third day. Since the festival's held in conjunction with Axis cultists, I'm not sure if we can get to the third day safely. Then again, I can't be sure that there'll definitely be an accident... If it's all good, do you want to watch the fireworks with me?"
Going to the fireworks display with a girl on a beautiful night during a festival?
If I wasn't so used to dating at this point, I'm sure I'd die of a heart attack.
"So, it's a date?"
"It sure is!" Megumin replied cheerfuly and got up.
Picking up the dishes, she left them in the kitchen sink. She got her hat from the clothes hanger, and opened the front door.
"Well, I'll be going now. Have fun, Y/N."
"You too. Say hi to Yunyun from me. Maybe that'll leave her less depressed..."
"Don't worry, I'll take care of her."
Saying something so caring yet so ominous, Megumin left.
"This girl can't catch a break, can she?"
-After breakfast at the festival.
I can't remember when the last time I saw such a crowd. Back in my world, I was neither a party animal nor someone who attended concerts of some famous bands. Whenever there was some kind of festival, I'd usually hang around with friends and eat the food from the stalls.
Even then, they were small festivities. But this...
"Handmade Eris-sama plushies! Buy your very own Eris-sama here!"
"Don't listen to her! We have even better Aqua-sama plushies! They're also handmade, but much better quality! They're blessed by none other than Aqua-sama herself, so they can turn any liquid into water; I'll demonstrate... See? Here's a bucket of grape juice, and now... It's pure water!"
"Don't joke with me! You just switched buckets under the counter!"
... Are all festivals like this?
.
.
In the middle of the shopping district was a huge banner hanging at the entrance. It read: 'Goddess Eris Thanksgiving Festival' in large font. And: 'Goddess Aqua Thanksgiving Festival' in small font, squeezed in along the sides. Small stalls and shops were everywhere; the entire district was engulfed in noise. It was hard to see everything because of the abundance of people.
And yet, despite all of that, I could still hear a familiar voice...
"You can't sell these things without a permit! Why do you Axis cultists always make trouble?"
"What do you mean by 'these things'? This is the stall carefully planned by Aqua-sama. How dare you insult it!"
Cecily was arguing with a policeman.
Next to her was Kazuma, who tried to allay the situation.
"Oi, don't pretend you didn't see anything and walk away! Help me out here!"
Kazuma's irked shout reached me before I could evacuate.
"I guess that's it from peacefully enjoying the festival..."
I reluctantly walked over to the Axis instigator. Remembering my previous encounter with her, I readied myself for a swift escape.
"I asked you people to get enthusiastic, not to get into an argument! You make trouble for the police the moment I take my eyes off you. Must you people always be like that?" Kazuma berated the phony priestess.
"I'm not troubling anyone, Kazuma-san. This guy's picking on us to disrupt our business!"
"I'm not picking on anyone! It's simply not permitted for you to sell these things!"
Hearing the policeman's words, I curiously peeked at the stall. There was a basin full of water, filled with...
"Tadpoles? Aren't they a little too big?"
"Aqua-sama said that there should be goldfish scooping in a festival. I'm not familiar with goldfish scooping, but I still did my best to recreate the scene. Since it's difficult to find wild goldfish, I used tadpoles as a substitute." Saying this, Cecily looked at me and Kazuma, as if wanting us to help her out.
"Why would anyone want to scoop tadpoles?"
"No, are they really tadpoles? They look a bit too big..." Kazuma squinted his eyes.
"In any case, it's forbidden to sell the young of Giant Frogs in this place! These things will grow huge in a very short time! If the kids buy them, the city will be covered in Giant Frogs in a few months! How will you compensate for that?"
"Kill it with fire."
"Stop! Don't ruin my shop! You already ruined the sweet and innocent mind of my little Megumin with your pervertion!"
I decided to get rid of these things, before Cecily hurriedly stopped me.
"Aqua-sama said that Kazuma-san would feel nostalgic and be very happy! You should like goldfish scooping, right Kazuma-san?!"
"Yes, I like scooping goldfish! But who'd want to scoop these unlovable things? You people said I could leave it to you once the permit is granted. Now look at this!"
"I can see why you woke up early just to supervise them..."
"I didn't. I woke up because of the loud announcement, and decided that I don't have anything better to do."
"I was trying to praise you."
Cecily chuckled at our words.
"Did you think there's only one stall that the Axis Cult can be proud of? For this festival, all the Axis cultists in the city gathered and thought of many creative things!"
Cecily pointed in front to over 30 different stalls.
"I'll give you that; they're certainly creative in scamming people." I crossed my arms and scrutinized the 'creative' Axis stalls.
"A string of roasted kraken! This is made from a young kraken. Rare and special roasted kraken! Very delicious!"
"Hey, isn't this just an ordinary squid? It's no different from the taste of a squid..."
"What are you saying? Have you eaten a real kraken before? The Axis Cult can guarantee that this is definitely a roasted kraken!"
There was also...
"Come and visit the Amazing Hut! Currently exhibiting the rare hybrid offspring of a fish-man and a mermaid! Caught by brave Axis cultists... Ah! Customer, please don't get crazy in the hut!"
"This is nonsense! Return my money, bastard! That's is just a big fish inside a tank!"
"I've said already. This is the hybrid offspring of a fish-man and a mermaid!"
As well as...
"Come and play the shooting game! There's a grand prize for anyone who can hit the target between the eyes!"
"Hey, the shooting target looks like Eris-sama! Stop this blasphemy against Eris-sama!"
"Ugh. Eris cultists attempt to disrupt us on the first day of the festival! Police! Over here! Arrest those Eris cultists... Ah, what are you doing? I didn't ask you over to close my shop. I want you to arrest those Eris cultists!"
And finally...
"Onee-san, is that a real dragon?"
"Yes. Of course, it's a dragon. The Axis Cult's currently operating dragon-rearing ranches. One for only 500 eris. Come, buy one."
"Eh... 500 eris's all of my pocket money. If I buy it, I won't be able to buy other things. No thanks. Anyway, it looks like a lizard..."
"Is it? How regrettable... Of course, unsold dragons can't simply be released into the wild. They're dangerous, after all. I can only send them to animal shelters... But if they can't find owners there, they'll eventually be put to death..."
"W-Why's it like that? Th-This is a lizard, right? Just releasing it will be fine."
"What are you saying? This is a trueborn dragon! Hey, are you buying? Is it really okay not to buy it?"
The kid looked like he was about to cry.
"So you're not buying? Then you'll definitely regret it! These poor dragons are destined to be sent to the animal shelters!"
"If you keep that up, I'll send your chick to the animal shelter!"
Kazuma smacked Aqua on the back of her head.
.
.
Catching the scammer red-handed, Kazuma dragged her off to the side for a solid scolding.
"Because you were scammed into buying this yellow fluffy so-called dragon of yours, you intend to mass produce similar victims to take revenge on society?"
"That's too sad, even for you."
"It's not sad! What are you two even saying? Don't you know? In the special situation of a festival, a certain amount of profiteering is acceptable! And Emperor Zell's a real dragon!"
Hugging his head, Kazuma dragged Aqua away from selling lizards. Giving the Axis cultists this much freedom was a mistake.
"Kazuma, Kazuma. Don't you think giving the Axis cultists this much freedom was a mistake?"
"I know, you don't have to point it out! I haven't seen any normal stalls so far..." Kazuma sighed.
He rubbed the bridge of his nose, grumbling something under his breath. Maybe he was finally coming to terms with the fact that his judgment was clouded by the sweet promise of seeing some bare skin on random women in bikinis, and making some bonus money, even though he was richer than most nobles.
Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he began:
"All your customers are starting to lose patience because of the scam-filled stalls you all set up. Darkness said she'll be coming for an inspection. If that rock-headed girl sees this tragedy, she won't permit the Axis Cult to host a festival ever again."
"If she does an inspection, the festival will revert to only being about Eris. There's no way she's gonna let all those scams continue." I added.
Hearing our mutual accord, Aqua finally realized the severity of the situation. She began searching frantically in all directions for a good and popular Axis stall.
"Th-There! There's a popular stall! There are definitely no tricks and it's the most profitable stall!"
She dragged us over to a certain stall in the corner of the area managed by the Axis Cult. There were a lot of people and it seemed fairly popular. That was a good sign.
But then we saw who was managing the stall...
"I saw Chris idly strolling around, so I grabbed her to man the stall!"
Chris waved at us. She was sitting behind the counter, hugging her knees.
"... Are you threatening the poor girl? She looks dead inside." I muttered.
The stall was running lotteries. The premise was simple and there were no schemes involved. If you drew the winning lot, you'd get twice the money you bet.
Despite it being a simple lottery stall, there was an unnaturally large number of people wanting to try their luck. Everyone seemed obsessed.
"Hey, again! Please, once more!"
"Wait, let me go first! I've spent a lot of money here already!"
A customer handed over eris coins and drew one of the three lots in Chris' hands.
Aqua didn't know, but she struck gold by having Chris manning the luck based stall.
"Damn! Lost again! Hey, show me the other two lots!"
Chris obeyed and revealed the two remaining lots. 'You win' was written on both of them.
After all, no one can be luckier than the goddess of luck herself.
"Okay. Just this time! Goddess of luck, Eris-sama! Please let me win! Or I'll convert to the Axis Cult!"
"Eh? Hey, w-wait!"
Chris suddenly came to life after hearing the man's words. Unfortunately, too late.
"All on this one lot! ... Damn it! I hate Eris-sama the most!"
"D-Don't!"
The furious man threw the lot away and left, leaving Chris who was about to cry.
"I'm starting to think not only Aqua's worshippers are so thoughtless..."
"Well done, Chris! It was worth the effort to beg and coerce you into helping! You didn't just man the stall, you even converted an Eris cultist! Previously, I found a strangely shaped stone from the Kowloon Hydra's lake. I'll give it to you as a present."
"I don't want it! Ugh... My precious worshipper..."
I didn't know what was worse. The fact that Aqua practically forced her to sit here all day and watch her worshippers lose faith in her? Or that Chris' here probably only because she couldn't refuse her senpai's willful request?
As if that was not enough...
"Aqua-sama, what should we do...?" Cecily came over after arguing with the police. "Now that the obsessed customers have left, even the lottery stall... We can only use the tokoroten slime stall recommended by me."
"Hey, stop selling weird stuff! We'll think of something for you people."
"'We'? Honestly, Kazuma, you always drag me with you without even giving me a chance to say something. You better not take me anywhere-"
"-Argh, damn it!"
And thus, my plans of peacefully enjoying the festival were thrown out the window. Instead of enjoying it, I was now a part of the festival.
In the area managed by the Eris Church, the stalls were selling various goods at decent prices, so it was quite lively. Choirs sang praises to Eris. Thanksgiving to Eris and 'Cheers!' could be heard anywhere.
They weren't as 'creative' as Axis cultists. They were merely exhibiting the mood of a traditional festival, but surprise; that proved more effective than the scam-filled Axis stalls.
At this rate the Axis Cult couldn't compete with the Eris Church.
"Hey, Kazuma. What should I do?" Aqua queried, pumped up by Kazuma's sudden surge in motivation to help out.
"This is the time for your Party Tricks. After attracting customers, you can help out. Cecily will attend to the customers. Y/N and Chris can help me with the cooking."
"Oh. I just need to attract customers? Leave it to me!" Aqua cheerfully skipped over to the front of the stall, displaying her tricks.
"I just need to use my charms to receive the male customers? Leave it to me!" Cecily moved to the counter, displaying her... charm?
"Hey, why am I still here?"
"Yeah, that's right, Chris. The fact that I like and can cook doesn't mean I want to, right now. You only see me for my skills, don't you Kazuma? Well, I have feelings too, you brute."
"Stop acting like a sensitive maiden, and be of help for once. Maybe you'll even find it fun." Kazuma hissed.
"'For once'? Well, now I don't want to even more! I'm sure you all can handle things without me." I crossed my arms and turned away, pouting.
"... You know what? You're right. You can go enjoy the festival; we'll be fine. I'm sure our stall will become the most popular one in the entire festival, with or without your help. I bet I can cook better than you anyway, now that I have the cooking skill." My smug leader scoffed.
My eyebrow twitched. He thought he could insult my cooking, better yet, dare to say his cooking skill is better?
I couldn't lose my face like that.
"... I see what you did there. You think you're clever? You really think you got me there, huh? Well... I'm sorry to disappoint, but the bet's on, you fool! This stall is too small for the two of us, bucko!"
"Too easy."
-The entire district was filled with a saucy scent. The sound of clattering dishes and cutting ingridiends sounded throughout the area, breaking through the joyfull noises of the festival.
Aqua's party tricks and Cecily's unnatural ability to charm ignorant and simple men, brought with them our first customers.
"Okay, next! More mayonnaise and seaweed, right? Hey! Aqua, cut more cabbages! I'll leave the pork to you, Chris!" Kazuma, fully engulfed in the culinary spirit, wore an apron, and a bandana over his hair.
"We're running out of cheese! Tomatoes would be greatly appreciated too, so get at it after the cabbages, Aqua!" I copied his look.
"Y/N, what are you doing? You were supposed to help me with the yakisobas!"
"Oh, what's this? Is your cooking skill not that great after all? Fufufufu~ I'm doing my own thing, so you're on your own. Now get ready to taste my homeland's special dish!"
"Aren't those just plain burgers?"
"You're plain. Just shut up and let me cook."
Soon enough, the stall became the most popular in the entire district. There were so many people it got hard to hear anything besides the words 'burger' and 'yakisoba'.
As I looked around, we practically stole all the customers from other stalls. And much to Chris' dismay, most of the customers flocked here from the Eris stalls.
"This yakisoba thing's really delicious! The sauce's awesome!"
"Yeah. Those boorgers are great too! The meat and vegetables are really tasty!"
"'Boorgers'! Kazuma, they're calling my precious babies boorgers! People can't appreciate the hard work that one must put into making such a delicacy!"
"Stop praising yourself so much and get to cooking! There's too many orders, I can't keep up alone!"
"I just want to make sure you realize how superior I am to you."
Just like that, our food stall conquered the hearts of every festival participant. At this point people came to the festival only to get a taste of our cooking.
"I didn't expect someone with the cooking skill to open a shop here."
"Isn't that chef the famous adventurer, Satou Kazuma? That guy can even cook?"
"Hey, isn't that L/N Y/N? They're in the same party together. I didn't know these two were so good at cooking."
In addition to our cooking, we started coming out with even more ideas for customers. For example, Cecily's idea of wrapping the yakisoba and the burgers with the Axis Cult Recruitment Form was well received. For some reason.
Every person had a smile on their face, and they could thank the stall with an Axis Cult symbol for that. Maybe for the first time in their life, this symbol was associateded with something positive.
Seeing so many people delighted and joyful because of an Axis stall, Aqua's eyes glowed and she had a beaming smile plastered across her face.
"Axis cultists are being praised! This is something new to me!"
"Should we add tokoroten slime as an after-meal dessert? Sweet and soft Tokoroten Slime!"
"Hey, don't add weird illegal items like tokoroten slime! Hah... How is it, Aqua? If you're serious about doing business, you can make a profit! No need for tricks. Heh, this is actually really fun!" Even Kazuma looked more lively than usual. He had a genuinely happy and content smile on his face, which was a rarity in his case.
"You know, I don't want you to laugh at my face and say 'I told you so', but I admit... This isn't that bad. Besides, the festival lasts three days, so I still have time to enjoy it."
"Ha ha ha ha! I told you so!"
"Stop! This was meant to be a heartwarming moment!"
"Hey, assistants... It seems that even the customers from the stalls managed by Eris cultists are coming over. What am I doing...?"
On this day, among all the Axis Cult's stalls, the only profit-making stall was this food stall with meals from exotic and far away countries.
.
.
The second day of the Goddess Eris and Goddess Aqua Thanksgiving Festival.
This time, instead of reopening our food stall early morning, Kazuma was too busy 'resting' after our hard working first day. He refused to leave from under the kotatsu.
Megumin once again went out to bully- I mean, accompany the lonely Yunyun.
I didn't even know where Aqua has gone to. After asking Darkness, who didn't sleep at all last night and looked worse than death, she said she heard her leave the house early morning.
With Kazuma and Darkness out of commission, and Megumin and Aqua away, I was left alone.
'It's okay. I don't need them to have fun' were the words I kept repeating to myself while walking to the festival alone, about to have the time of my life without my friends.
I came home disgruntled, with a ton of Eris-sama merch, which I put next to the Matsune Hiku figurine.
When I came back, the sky began to darken.
"... Uh, Kazuma, Y/N. Do you still intend to help the Axis Cult?"
Sleepy Darkness, with heavy eye bags, called out to us, in a tired voice, as we were about to leave the house. Kazuma regained his motivation, and we were ready for another round of carrying the Axis Cult.
"Yeah... What's up with you? You look pale."
"I wouldn't say 'help'. I'm just trying to prove a point. But yeah, you look like you're about to pass out any minute now."
"Of course... I didn't think that lordship duties would be so tiring... The complaints for these two days were a lot more than those during the festival preparatory period. An idiot dumped the young of Giant Frogs into the Kowloon Hydra's lake. What was she thinking...? And the scam of the Amazing Hut. And customers being groped in the haunted house by Axis cultists disguised as zombies..." Darkness turned while lying on the sofa and shut her tired eyes.
"I wonder who was that idiot who dumped the young of Giant Frogs into the Kowloon Hydra's lake...?"
"*Cough* *Cough* Cecily *Cough* *Cough*"
"And Axis cultists infiltrated into the Eris Church's stalls and loudly demanded protection money. Male shopkeepers wearing swimming trunks. And the incident involving painting colors on a lizard to sell to children...!"
Kazuma decided to brew some tea for Darkness, while I gave her a blanket and a fluffy pillow.
Darkness covered herself in the blanket and sipped her tea. She sighed:
"Thanks... I feel that I've aged a lot in these few days..."
"How unlucky... But remember this. That's how I feel every time I have to listen to the willful demands of you all. But, don't worry. I'll try to limit the complaints to minimum this night, so hang in there." Kazuma gave her an encouraging smile.
"I don't know who was that just now, but he's right, Darkness. Besides, the festival is ending soon, so you got it." I gave Darkness a thumbs up, ignoring Kazuma's weird look.
"Y-You're the only one who can understand me, Kazuma...! Thank you too, Y/N... Now that I think about it, I've caused you a lot of trouble, really a lot... Uh, wait. Your latter sentences..."
Kazuma didn't get to hear the rest. He left without waiting for Darkness to finish.
Walking beside him towards the area managed by the Axis Cult, I asked:
"Don't you think she had something important to tell you? You know, the way she blushed and all..."
"Darkness has her mood swings; you know her. Whatever she has to tell me, she'll tell me after we come home. The Axis stalls won't stir up by themselves."
"... And you're wondering why you haven't unlocked a route with any of the girls yet."
A/N: Three weeks isn't that bad right? Or maybe it was four? Anyway, here I am with another chapter out for you to enjoy. Sorry for the wait, but I hope I'll make it up to you with this. It was pretty fun to write, although a little frustrating at times. By the way, not counting the epilouge, there's only two chapters left in volume 8. And you know what comes after the number 8? 9, baby! Number 9! Volume 9! Peak fiction is coming! I have plans for volume 9 and can't wait to start working on it!
Anyway, that's it. Thanks as always for the support and I hope you enjoyed. See ya!