A couple of days have passed since Lukka asking me out. I've since managed to avoid walking out with Tyler at the end of the day, due to the fact Lukka is always there.
Instead I wait and walk with Alec.
Speaking of the eldest Lightwood, he has been very affectionate lately. More than usual that is.
I'm use to him hugging me, kissing my forehead or nose, and cuddling with me. However I'm not use to him kissing my neck when I'm sitting on his lap, his hands sitting further down on my back getting dangerously low, or the fact when he kisses my nose he lingers.
Maybe I'm thinking too much into it. He is gay... however he did kiss me on thanksgiving...But he said it was gross...
I don't know.
the only way I will know is if I confront him.
I've managed to get him to walk with me outside and into the woods. It seems creepy but I would never hurt him.
Ever.
"So why are we walking in these cold ass woods in the middle of December?" He ask. I stop walking and stare at him.
"Are you actually gay?" He gives me a weird look and my eyes widen. "I'm sorry that's not how I wanted to say that! I meant to say are you sure you're just gay? That's not better either... idk how I'm trying to say what I want to say but I think you get it." I ramble out.
He stares at me with a straight face before he sighs out.
"I don't know... I know I do like guys but I think I may like girls too?"
"Have you been looking at other girls or is it just me?" I question softly.
He tenses at my question and stays silent. I walk closer to him, "you gotta give me an ans-I like you! No, I actually love you! And I don't really know why! We've been friends for so long and from what I knew I've always been strictly gay. Then I see you after a long time, I hear what your shitty ex did, how you almost died, and these feelings come out of nowhere! I want to act on them super bad but I don't want to fuck anything up!"
In an odd way my heart lurches in admiration.
"I love you too Alec... I always have. I just never voiced it in other ways because you told me you were gay and I respected that, I still do. But I would be a liar if I told you I never thought of us together."
He stays silent for a few seconds before grabbing my hand and looking at me, "do you want to try us?"
My breath hitches, "I-I don't know. I know what I said made it seem like I'm ready to try but I don't think I am? Believe it or not I'm still really hurt about ja-him-" a shiver goes up my spine as his name almost comes out.
"- and lukka is now a factor as well." He lightly squeezes my hand.
I notice flurries starting to fall and the moon illuminates the area around us.
"Let's just go slow? No commitment to eachother since we both don't know what's going on."
I look over his face for a few seconds and slowly nod.
"Ok, yeah..slow."
He presses a soft kiss against my lips. I close my eyes and kiss him back before he pulls away.
"Starting now."
I smile at his words.
I hear something snap making me tense. I whip my head to the side and stare into the woods.
A scent makes it way through my nose and it smells familiar, but I can't remember who it could be.
All I know is that I sense danger.
I quickly grab Alec's hand, and start walking back to the house while looking around in caution.
We soon make it back to the house and I push him inside. "What do you think it was?"
"It was a person but I smelled blood. they smelled familiar but I can't remember who it is." He nods and we go upstairs to my room.
"Did you want to shower first?" I ask as I grab some pajamas out of my closet.
"You can shower first." I nod and go to walk into my bathroom but I'm stopped by Alec grabbing me.
"What?"
"Can I kiss you again?" I smile and press my lips against his.
Its not harsh.
It's not sexual.
It's loving.
Soft.
And filled with love.
His hands find their way to my waist and he pulls me into him.
"Hey Willow do y-" we quickly pull away from eachother.
Kaydence stands at the door with wide eyes.
"Oh my god," I quickly pull her into the room and slam the door.
"You didn't see anything and you won't say anything either!" I whisper shout. She looks at me then at Alec, "are you not gay?"
"Happy? Yes. Sexuality wise? Not sure."
"Well, I'm going to go to my room. And don't worry, I won't say anything." She winks and walks out my room.
"I have a feeling she's lying." Alec says staring at the door.
"She definitely going to hint at it a couple times." I say rolling my eyes. I wave my hand causing the door to lock, and I grab my stuff to shower.
"Do whatever you do as I get in the shower." I say walking into the bathroom. I don't bother locking the door and begin to strip.
I turn on the shower and let it heat up before I get in.
As I let the hot water run over me, I can't help but to think about him.
Does he think about what he's done?
Does he miss me?
Is he beating himself up for hurting me?
Is he even thinking about me at all? Or is he too busy fucking Alice?
I fight the urge to scream and turn the heat up all the way in the shower.
By now the water is burning my skin and making me red but I ignore it.
I stare at the wall and let my mind wander.
"You're weaker than I thought. You're letting some boy make you even more upset than you ever were when you're parents died. You're not eating as much, you cry yourself to sleep, you question yourself, you compare yourself."
I frown as I hear uncle Nik's voice in my head.
" you're scared. You let a boy make you weak and scared. You're a demon Willow! You're a witch! Stop grieving over someone who should have been dead to you from the beginning and UNLEASH YOURSELF-Willow?"
I gasp and look towards the bathroom door. I see Alec looking at me in confusion and worry.
"What?" I ask trying to cover myself up.
"I- you were in a trance... you're eyes were grey and you had this weird thing looming over you." He walks into the bathroom and grabs my towel.
He walks over to the shower and turns the water off while handing me my towel.
I grab it and wrap it around myself.
"You ok?" He asks.
"Y-yeah sorry I was just thinking about stuff. I'm going to go get dress. Are you sleeping in my room or downstairs.
"You're room." I nod and quickly walk away.
•
I stare at the ceiling as Alec sleeps.
The only sound in the room being Alec's soft snores.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath,
"Paratus sum ut tenebras quae in me fluctus evolvant. occidit lucem et infirmitatem tenet me in compedibus et da potestatem baphomet"
I gasp and my eyes fly open as I feel this overwhelming sensation fill my body.
I manage to climb out of bed without waking Alec up.
I quickly stumble into the bathroom and let everything out into the toilet.
I open my eyes and the liquid looks like black tar.
I shakily sit up and walk over to the sink. I wash my hands and take a quick sip of water before I spit it out.
When I raise my head, I notice something off about my reflection.
It's facing the other way.
I frown and rub my eyes. It must be my eyes playing tricks on me.
When I open my eyes my reflection is still facing away from me.
I quickly walk over to the door, but it closes and locks itself.
I stare at it in confusion.
What the hell is going on?
Suddenly the candles in the bathroom lite by themselves.
I look around in confusion.
"Willow... willow."
My reflection.
I hesitantly walk back over and stand in-front of the mirror.
My reflection slowly turns around and smiles creepily when it sees me.
My heart beats fast but I don't sense any danger.
My reflection points at themselves then at me.
"What about you and me?" I whisper out. It holds it's hand out and looks at me as if their waiting. I lift the same hand and hold it the same way.
It clicks.
"We are the same." The other me, as I now like to call them, smiles and drops their arm making me do the same.
"But you are different. How though?"
The candles go out making everything pitch black.
Suddenly I feel a presence behind me and I hear my own voice whisper in my ear.
"I'm the darkness inside you."
I feel my body make contact with something cold before I lose all feeling.
•
THIS IS THE BREAKING POINT YALL!!! THE STORY IS ABOUT TO PICK UP AND IM SO EXCITED!!
Translation: i'm ready to unleash the darkness that waves inside me. kill the light and weakness that holds me in shackles and give me power baphomet