DAY THIRTEEN
The Pogues have been stranded for almost two weeks, at least that's what the lines on the cave wall tell them, and tensions are rising.
Poguelandia has been a blessing in many ways. Freedom from unruly parents, freedom from unbearable social classes, freedom from killer fathers, freedom from the hunt of long lost treasure. It has been amazing, truly. They've lived on a high for the past thirteen days, minus when Kiara fell ill.
But everyone is tired, they have been since they got here but they've been riding a dream so it didn't hit them until now. Their bodies are sore and they've thinned out. They're sunburnt and hot and dehydrated most of the time. Not to mention the taste of fish and coconut is becoming bland and not booming with flavour like it used to. So they've reached an impasse because they're so glad to be here but they're getting sick of the same thing over and over again at the same time.
This is the first time that Kiara has thought about possibly going home. It's fleeting but it's there. Not even when she was sick did she think about it. It's just that she's exhausted and every part of her body hurts now. All. The. Time. She loves it here, she truly does, of course she does, but there are things from her previous life that she can't help but recall and want back. Maybe it's not that she wants to leave, it's that she misses aspects from the Outer Banks that she doesn't have here.
So these past couple days have seen tension beginning to brew between the Pogues. Cracks are forming and they could so easily turn in crevasses. Arguments, although small, have been more common. When they eat it's become more silent. No longer are they hooting and howling in excitement. The strain is bearable, until it isn't.
Everything blows up when Pope suggests that they build a large wooden structure that they can set alight to signal for help if they see any boats or planes.
"What?" JJ's words are sharper than Cleo's knife. A storm cloud comes over the group then.
"It's just in case. We've been here for thirteen days and we haven't seen anything from civilisation. What if we miss an opportunity because we weren't prepared and then have to wait double the time for rescue?"
"Rescue." JJ scoffs, extremely irritated. Why would he want to be rescued? The OBX has given him nothing good. He never wants to go back.
"Yes, JJ, rescue. We can't live here forever," John B pipes up sternly from beside Sarah. The Maybank boy's eyes begin to flame.
"Sure we can! We'll live off the land like we have for the past two weeks," JJ exclaims and gestures wildly to the land around them.
"And how long will that sustain us, JJ?" Pope challenges, narrowing his gaze. "It won't."
Kiara doesn't like where this is going, and it seems as though Cleo doesn't either by the uncertain look that they share. Sarah has grown uncomfortable.
JJ grits his teeth. "Well we'll make it fucking work."
John B decides he wants another piece. "Things won't just work if we don't have any fucking food or water or medical supplies. Get that in your fucking head, JJ!"
Kiara physically cringes that the confrontation has already reached the level of yelling. She knows she'll have to get involved sooner or later but she fears the direction it'll go as soon as she does.
Cleo surprisingly jumps in, her voice level. "You guys are tweaking and so wassy. Chill out."
Unfortunately her words just make JJ more agitated. He's on his feet now. Kiara sits taller, the tension bubbling at the lid.
"Shut up, Cleo!" He snaps, throwing a hard finger in her direction.
"J..." Kiara starts.
Pope tenses and grows furious. "Stop with this bullshit, JJ!"
"Rude boy acting tough now, huh?" Cleo flips the knife around her fingers, unbothered by his hostility. "All logic out the window wit' you. Open your eyes, chief." She clicks her fingers a few times. "T'is ain't some vacation anymore. You're playing with the lives of people here."
"That's right, JJ. Stop being so fucking selfish!" John B yells at his best friend. The Routledge boy is so close to getting to his feet in anger.
"John B, come on." Kiara words are lost in the argument.
Selfish?! JJ wants to scream. All he wants is them to be together, to stay together, because he's been so close to losing them all! Is there anything so wrong with wanting that?!
"Oh, so I'm selfish. You forget how you threw us all off a cliff because you're as obsessed with treasure as your father?!"
"JJ!" Sarah has now gotten involved.
Everything is beginning to spiral out of control, especially when a seething John B no longer sits.
"JJ, that's uncalled for," Kiara steps a foot into the argument for the first time. The girl doesn't flinch when JJ's fiery blue eyes bore into her.
Something in JJ totally snaps. He doesn't know if it's anger or betrayal or hurt or all of them combined. He just knows that everyone is against him. Even Kiara. Even Kiara... he thought she'd understand, she's the only one that would. But here she is, siding with John B. As per fucking usual. Should it really surprise him? She had a fucking thing for him and probably still does. Of course nothing good fucking comes his way even though he thought he finally did.
"Stay the fuck out of this, Kiara!" He snarls, meeting her hardened gaze with fury. Everyone is standing now.
Kiara just straightens in challenge, eyes burning with deep-rooted passion. "Or what, JJ?"
JJ hesitates for the shortest moment because in all honesty he doesn't know what he'll do. It's only a second worth of hesitation before he goes to fire back but Pope beats him. He's secretly glad because he might've said something he was going to regret. Like calling her a Kook.
"You're such a loose cannon. You need to get it in your thick skull that we won't survive here indefinitely!" Pope propels his words. Cleo ensures that Pope doesn't go in too deep. She can sense a fight brewing.
"You're just thinking about yourself!" John B adds with an enraged glower towards JJ.
JJ glares daggers. "What does it make you, golden boy? You're not selfish, is that it?" His words are lower than before but they're just as provoking and livid.
Sarah presses forward and faces off with JJ, infuriated. "Just drop it, JJ!"
Kiara also forces herself into the stand off and holds her ground in front of John B. She can tell he's about to go off the rails. That they both are.
"What did you say, princess?"
The condescending tone finally sends John B over the edge. He roughly pushes Kiara aside, which just pisses off JJ more, and shoves the Maybank boy, forcing him a few steps back. Usually the two partake in playful wrestling matches but this is something totally different. They've both flipped their shit.
John B swings and his fist connects with JJ's jaw, snapping the boy's head to the side. This pisses JJ off and he punches John B's nose with a direct hit, grunting with mild annoyance that he didn't manage to break it. They continue to go after each other by all means necessary, knocking one another down and throwing their fists wherever they can make contact.
"JJ! John B! Chill the fuck out!" Cleo yells over their scuffle. She sends Pope a look of adjuration because she knows that as much as he's peeved by JJ, he doesn't like to see his friends fight. He huffs a sigh and marches forward with the intention of breaking them apart.
Kiara hates it. She feels helpless and angry. She can't just stand here and watch her two best friends go at it.
JJ fiercely shoves John B off him and aims to advance further but he's restrained by Kiara and Cleo when they grab both his wrists. He feels a surge of fury come over him because they're preventing him from rightfully beating John B's ass. He whirls around, eyes ablaze, but the fierce warning in Kiara's eyes makes his flame falter. He shrugs them off harshly.
Pope and Sarah keep John B back and are gradually getting him to calm down despite his shoulders rising up and down rapidly. They speak to him but Kiara can't decipher what is being said.
JJ then storms off, fists still curled.
"JJ!" Kiara starts to jog after him but Cleo grabs her arm and shakes her head.
"Let him cool off," she advises, watching him leave with a bothered expression. Kiara brokenly observes as JJ disappears.
It's a thick silence between all the Pogues now. John B has sustained a bloody nose and a few bruises from JJ's hard hits and is wordless on the other side of the fire. No one knows what to stay after that physical fight. It just makes Kiara unsettled how quick they turned on each, how quick many of them are turning on each other – like Kooks.
"We can't have this." Kiara brings her gaze up and looks strongly between Cleo, Pope, John B and Sarah.
John B tenses but he's too tired and sore to go all out into argument. "He's the one who won't open his eyes, Kie. He's too obsessed with the idea of island life that he won't see how this might end. It's selfishness."
"Is it though?" Kiara questions reasonably and lifts to her feet. "All JJ has ever wanted is for us all to be together."
The group deflates a little at that, realisation washing over them. Cleo looks especially affected at Kiara's words.
Pope's voice isn't hostile. "But JJ needs to realise that we can't live here together forever. That's a death sentence. I'm enjoying the freedom here as much as anyone else but we need a plan B. We'll lose someone if we stay here. Next time it might not be food poisoning that knocks one of us out."
"I know, Pope," she sighs but not in annoyance. It's because what he's saying is true and she can't deny that. "JJ is just spooked by the idea of getting rescued, by going back to the OBX, because there is nothing there for him." Kiara doesn't know if she should be saying all this on his behalf, but she trusts her gut, "This is all he's ever wanted." Surf trip. "And he feels like if we returned then he'd lose everyone."
Kiara knows how JJ is striving for stability. His whole life has been one big shitshow and he's never been able to comfortably stand on two feet. His father would always shove him lopsided and JJ would find his life in a state of constant imbalance. He just doesn't want to lose the one thing he has – his Pogues, his family – when they're the only reason he hasn't lost himself. They're his tether and he's terrified to lose that. He thinks leaving the island will sever the tether keeping him grounded.
"He won't lose us though," Sarah says dejectedly, fiddling with her fingers.
Kiara shakes her head. "It takes a lot more than that for JJ to believe it." The girl sighs and begins to walk away from the group. She turns to glance over her shoulder. "You say we won't survive because of depleting resources, John B, but we all won't survive if we turn on one another. Pogues for life, remember?"
That's the last thing Kiara says before stepping out into the approaching night in search of JJ.
JJ is fuelled with the anger coursing through him as he sits by the pond, feet dipped in the water, elbows on his knees, the night silent.
They don't understand, he tells himself, none of them do.
The Maybank boy feels the same way he did when the Pogues had turned against him after he stole money from Barry. He's hurt and betrayed that they don't understand that all he wants is for the Pogues to remain together. He can't afford to lose the only family he's got. He's already damaged as is but losing them would break him beyond repair.
JJ's fury is only multiplied that they all stooped to the level of blaming each other which is some Kook-ass bullshit. He's guilty of it himself. And he fucking hates it. He doesn't want to be remotely associated with the way Kooks beat each other down with manipulation and blame.
His thoughts are interrupted by sloshy footsteps. He knows it's Kie.
JJ wants to scold her for travelling that far on her own but she'll probably take the comment the wrong way. He knows she can take care of herself. So instead, his rigid gaze remains staring forward into the night, face set. He feels Kie sit next to him.
"Did I get him good?" He laughs humourlessly. No response is gained from this.
JJ can sense that Kie is looking at him and inspecting for injuries. Naturally, he puckers his mouth and barely withholds a wince at the newly-sustained split in his lips. He knows that Kie doesn't miss this.
The boy hears Kie audibly sigh and feels her pull his bandana from his back pocket. She leans forward and wets the material with water from the pond. He doesn't fight it when she takes his left hand and dabs his slightly cut knuckles. JJ bites back a hiss and restraints himself from pulling away. It's not unusual for Kie to clean him up after the multiple fights he's gotten himself into over the years. That's probably why he lets her do it or he'll cop a mouthful of shit from her.
Eventually he makes the call that she's done enough and rips his right hand away, not meeting her eyes. "Why are you here, Kiara?" JJ's words are icy. "Thought you'd be sucking up to John B."
Kie doesn't wince at his tone and holds neutrality. "Don't do that, JJ."
"Do what, Kiara?!" His voice has already risen and he didn't want it to. Not at her.
"You're trying to push me away. Stop." She's right. Of course she is.
JJ scoffs and offers her a glare. "Maybe I am, maybe I'm not. Either way, go crawl back to John B, I'm sure he's eagerly waiting for your return."
Kie's jaw clenches. He's hit a nerve. Good.
"This has nothing to do with John B, JJ. I'm here for you!"
JJ throws his head back in another humourless laugh. "Sure you are, Kie. Keep telling yourself that. You here to make John B jealous?"
There's a few heartbeats of unbearable silence.
"Why are you doing this?" Kiara's face is hurt but edged with determination. There's a stab in JJ's chest at her expression. "Why are you trying so hard to push me away?"
Because I don't deserve you, he wants so desperately to say but he keeps his mouth wired shut. And you have eyes for someone that isn't me. But I'm not good enough for you anyway, so why does it matter?
Kie breaks their standoffish stare, looking down to her feet before meeting his gaze again, exhaling. "I'm here because I wanted to check on you."
His words are quick. "Why would you care?"
Kie's eye contact is steadfast. "Because I understand you. I understand that you don't want to lose the Pogues because you fear that'll happen if we go back."
JJ wants to tell her that she's wrong. He wants to say that she has no idea what she's talking about and that she doesn't understand him. But she does and he can't find it in him to call her out for being wrong even though she's right – so right. Instead, JJ plays with his rings and fiddles with the friendship bracelet around his wrist.
"I'm not going to tell you what you said and did was wrong because deep down you already know that. I'm here because despite having a fleeting thought of going home, I want to stay here. I want to live out our surf trip, J."
JJ's heart begins to hammer. Is she openly admitting that she wants to stay in Poguelandia, with him?
She continues when he doesn't say anything. "I get it, J, I really do. I don't want you to think I'm against you because I'm not. This place is your lucky break and what you've dreamed of. But, for the sake of the others, we have to take some measures in case rescue presents itself on the horizon."
JJ locks his jaw for a moment and ducks his head. Despite how much he doesn't want to be rescued, for the sake of his friends he'll accept that they want to. He nods.
Kie smiles and nudges his side, trying to break the ice. "See, no need to be the tough guy."
JJ quirks a warm grin, offering her a softer glance. "There's always a need to be the tough guy."
Kiara shakes her head and glances down at the spot in front of her. The girl feels relieved that they've crossed the hard seas and nothing is rough between her and JJ. The last thing she would've wanted is to have ongoing tension with her best friend. They need each other and fighting wouldn't help either of them.
"You really think John B would be jealous of me being here?" Kie laughs lightly, sending him an expression with her brow raised. "If anything he's probably annoyed that I'm with you right now because he's butthurt and salty as shit. Give him the night, he'll be over it in the morning."
JJ discreetly bites his lip. He wasn't very subtle about all that, was he? He's surprised she hasn't called him out for being jealous. Because, fuck, it was ridiculously obvious. But it shouldn't be. JJ needs to get control of himself. He needs to stop letting his feelings slip because he can't allow them to cost his friendship with Kie. He can't cost her her future. It's as if the island is making him go all gooey and shit. And he's just so vulnerable when he's in an angry haze. He's so prone to saying things he doesn't want to or shouldn't say.
"So you're saying I won?" JJ smirks, sending her a pleased side glance. He brushes over her first question and is instead expertly deflecting.
"No. You both share a brain cell, maybe not even. Fists don't solve shit."
"They solved shutting Kelce up." JJ chuckles when recalling how John B clocked Kelce in the face at the Bonfire. He saw it from quite a distance away but he loved every second of it.
Kie sends him a pointed look although he sees a glimmer of amusement in her eyes. JJ then notices Kie shiver and the way she wraps herself up with her arms, knees to her chest.
"You want my shirt again?" JJ jests the offer, even though he actually does mean it.
Kie immediately wrinkles her nose in clear disgust. "Oh fuck no. You smelt like ass."
"Since we're giving out compliments today, you do too." JJ just beams with this over-exaggerated smile. The girl rolls her eyes in the way she does.
The stars are out in full force tonight and they've captured the eyes of Kie. She's drawn in by their burning white light as they sprinkle the night, contrasting against the black of the Caribbean sky. She looks so at ease.
"You know Ursa Major is the third largest constellation in the sky?" Kie tells him not that he has any fucking idea about archaeology – wait, no, astrology.
"Ursa Major?" JJ is perplexed.
"Means 'Great Bear'." Kie lifts up her right hand and points upward. "You see it?"
"All I see are stars, Kie. I don't see shapes in the sky like you spiritual people."
Kiara ignores his comment and leans in close, their shoulders pressed, her breath catching momentarily. Her gaze remains forward as she guides his arm up and straightens out his pointer finger. "Right... there!" She traces the invisible lines of the constellation with JJ's finger and thumbs his friendship bracelet, her hand around his wrist.
The Carrera girl feels her cheek hovering next to his, his dishevelled hair tickling her slightly burnt skin. Unconsciously, she looks at him, a handful of inches between them. JJ doesn't seem to notice her watching him, too busy with a squinted gaze and nose scrunched in concentration, trying to make out the main body of the bear. She admires how even in the dark his eyes are lit and reflect the stars above, that breathtaking sky blue twinkling and bright. His face is littered with small scratches, bruises and the busted lip but he still looks good.
And then it hits her so fast that she's almost knocked over onto the sand.
Kiara likes JJ Maybank. She always has.