Soobin P.O.V
My phone lights up.
It’s a text from Yeonjun.
You’re still coming to the game, right?
Sure am.
I’m in my car, in the lot of the restaurant where I had dinner with Cassidy. In front of me is a huge tropical mural, with a few red birds and butterflies on it.
I rest my head against the headrest and smile. Hanging out with her has made me feel so damn good. I wonder if she knows how great it is for me to talk about being attracted to guys around her, and for her to not even care.
It’s new for me. I love it. Plus, she’s cool and smart and funny. Being friends with her would be a good thing.
My phone buzzes again.
Sweet! See you then.
I should enjoy this for a second. I know things aren’t perfect, but this a big deal for me. I’m making friends. I’m maybe even becoming more than friends with Yeonjun, which I never would’ve expected even only a few weeks ago.
I picture the way his eyes light up when he smiles, and his laugh, which is sort of goofy. It’s like he lets slip who he really is for a second, because he can’t control it.
I lock my phone and turn on the engine. A pop song starts playing on the radio, and I don’t even change it.
What can I say? Things are good.
After a short drive I reach the baseball field, which is behind Yeonjuns school. The bleachers are already crowded. There are so many people here.
When I get to the bleachers, I see Naomi and Bri sitting in the back row. Naomi waves at me with both arms. I jog up the metal steps. When I get there, I sit down beside her.
The bleachers are crammed, so everyone has to touch (eek), and a bunch of them are holding up signs in Yeonjun school colours, which are yellow and blue.
“So,” says Bri. “You and him. What’s happening there?”
“Wow,” says Naomi. “You couldn’t even give him two seconds to sit down? Jesus.”
“I mean, why not just cut to the chase? So, Soobin. Tell us everything.”
“Um, we’re friends.”
“Just friends?”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. That’s disappointing.”
“Why?” I ask.
“I thought you might be dating, or at least hooking up. I’ve got to say, you and him together would be, like, the cutest. I would just die.”
I swallow hard. “Sorry to disappoint.”
So what if we’ve kissed a few times? They don’t need to know that.
Plus, even though we did that, we are still just friends. I actually hate that saying, though. Just friends. Like it’s a consolation prize.
If he wanted to stop making out and stay friends, I’d do it. At least that way we’d avoid total disaster, given our families.
“Don’t be,” she says. “I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little bummed, but it’s fine. At least he’s finally made a good guy friend. He needed one.”
“Agreed,” says Naomi. “He’s always sort of been the odd one out of the guys. We love him so much, but he’s never really clicked with them. He says he’s fine, but he’s the only out dude on the team. That must be hard.”
“Yeah,” says Bri. “Wallace says he avoids most of the team when they’re not playing. Like he thinks he’s too good for them. Wallace, you don’t know him, but he’s the captain of the team. (:Random:) Anyway, he’s actually worried Yeonjun thinks he’s homophobic, even though he’s not. Has he talked to you about that?”
I shake my head.
She rolls her eyes. “Typical boys. You should talk to him about how he feels, because he has a lot going on. He’s under so much pressure, you have no idea.”
“Because he’s gay?”
“Nah, I think he’s fine with that. His issue is his parents. My mums are so on board with me being whatever I want to be, but his mum and dad, well, let’s just put it this way: He needs to be the best at everything in order for them to be happy.”
“For real?”
“It’s bad, dude. His mum especially, she’s sort of a nightmare. He gets perfect grades and is so polite and nice and stuff to everyone, but she acts like he’s still not enough. I know it hurts him.”
Bri swats her leg.
“What?” says Naomi.
“I bet Yeonjun doesn’t want you spilling all his family drama to a new friend.”
“Oh, right. Forget I said anything, Soobin.”
“Done. It’s not a total surprise, though. He’s talked about it a little, but I didn’t know it was that bad.”
“Yeah, it really is. So I think having a new friend is good for him. It might make him chill out a little, finally. He’s definitely changed since you started hanging out. How’d you meet, by the way?”
Luckily, I have a lie prepared.
“He’s friends with a mutual friend of mine, and we just clicked. We both like the same games.” It’s another lie I have prepared. “But wait. What do you mean about him changing?”
“He seems happier, I guess? And a lot less high-strung. He’s always been our anxious little stress ball, and now he’s way less stress-y about everything. I think that’s because of you. Something has definitely changed in him. It’s got to be you.”
“Wow, um that’s awesome.”
The thought of making Yeonjun happy makes me freaking giddy.
One team runs out onto the field, getting into their positions. I scan the field and spot him. He’s pitching. I find myself smiling. Look at that guy! He’s so cute. I must say, he looks great in his uniform. It’s blue and white, and the pants are really tight. It’d be pretty fun to make out with him while he’s wearing it. I wonder if he’d be down for that.
The crowd goes silent, and the game begins.
He pitches
It’s a strike!
He pitches again and gets another strike.
Then another. He pumps his fist.
The batter walks away, his shoulders hunched.
I won’t lie, baseball isn’t my favorite thing to watch. And it goes on forever. But I don’t mind watching Yeonjun play.
I have to keep reminding myself: We’re just friends. I have the situation under control.
“Hey,” I say to Naomi, who is beside me.
“Yeah?”
“Does Yeonjun have Instagram?”
I already have my phone out. I’m so ready for this.
“Wait, you don’t follow him?”
I shake my head.
“Weird. I mean, of course he does.”
“Can you show me?”
She pulls out her phone, and loads Instagram. I do the same.
“It’s yawnzzn,” she says.
I search for it.
And there it is.
Yeonjun Instagram. The name might be fake, but it’s still his.
“Are you going to add him?” asks Bri.
“Yeah,” I say, and then I lock my phone and slide it back into my pocket. “Maybe later, though.”
“Oh, I know this game,” she says. “You want him to add you first, don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Power move. I respect that.”
I laugh, and then we bump knuckles.
After the first inning, the teams both file off the field.
Bri stands up and waves. “Wallace! Over here!”
Wallace jogs up the bleachers. Yeonjun follows behind him, along with another dude. When they reach us, Yeonjun runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back up.
It’s wet with sweat, and messy, in a way that makes him look a little more rugged than normal.
He’s also breathing heavy, and there’s this energized look in his eyes.
I can’t stop looking at him.
“What are you doing here?” asks Naomi. “You’re not supposed to leave the dugout.”
“I know,” says Wallace. “But I had to see my girl.”
Wallace kisses Bri on the lips, which makes Naomi cringe, then make a sign of the cross. Then she turns to the remaining two.
“What’s your excuse?” she asks. “You could get detention for this, you know?”
They both shrug, but Yeonjun looks at me. The other dude raises a hand at Naomi, and I swear she blushes so hard I can feel the heat radiating from her face.
It’s all sorts of adorable. I kind of want to push the two of them together and be like, “Now kiss.”
Maybe I’m just in a romantic mood at the moment. Who knows?
“Hey, man,” says Wallace, offering his hand. “I’m Wallace.”
“Soobin,” I say as we shake.
“He’s Yeonjun friend,” says Bri. “The new one.”
She gives him a very pointed look. Wallace glances at Yeonjun, his mouth hanging open slightly. I wonder if he’s thinking that we’re together.
I don’t hate that thought.
Oh wow.
That’s terrifying. I can’t date him, I know that. But still, now I’m picturing it. Us, in sweats, cuddling as we watch TV and eat junk food. Showering together. Kissing, like, all the time. Him calling me his boyfriend when we meet someone new.
The truth is, I love all of it.
“I’m Scott, by the way,” says the third dude. (:Random:)
“Hi. Soobin, obviously.”
I shake his hand and start blushing. It dawns on me that I love feeling like one of the group. I smile and notice Yeonjun is looking at me in, like, the softest way. I’m blushing, and he doesn’t seem to care.
“Hey,” he says, tilting his head up. “Having fun?”
“Yeah! Like, so much! Dude, you’re amazing at this.”
“Shucks. I’m glad you think so. I feel like I’ve been playing better than normal today. I think it might be because of you.”
He looks at me, then glances away, hiding his expression.
“Guys, we better go before Coach notices,” says Scott. “And thanks for coming, Naomi. Um. I’m glad you could make it, I know you’re really busy and stuff.”
Seriously.
They’re both such awkward cinnamon rolls.
I already ship them so hard.
“Sure thing!” says Naomi. “I love watching people prove their masculinity via hitting tiny balls.”
“Me too!” says Bri.
“You guys are the worst,” says Scott with a smile. “Even you, new guy.”
With that, the three turn and jog down the steps.
Jason turns back and waves, just at me.
My stomach plummets.