Papa pov:
"You're alive.." he says.
My brain is still slightly foggy but I could tell it was him.
he walked over and hugged me. It feels like years since the last time he hugged me.
He starts sobbing and I don't know how to react.
"How do you feel papa?" Cirrus asks. "Uh.." I stammer trying my best to speak. Its difficult currently. "I feel okay eh..drugs" I said slurring. "I think he means he feels fine because of all of the drugs given by the doctor" Swiss says. "Mhm." I say.
"We have to go soon. But we'll be here for visits every day" someone says I can't quite tell as I'm falling asleep again.
* a week and a bit later*
I was finally getting out-of the hospital after being kepton suicide watch. I can't wait to see the ghouls.
It's not a very long drive to the ministry, it takes like 30 minutes.
As I'm pulling into the car park I get this overwhelming thought
If I'm suffering like this, what if one of the others are?? I've traumatised them.
I sit for a little while in the car dissociating then over thinking.
"What if I've caused long term damage?"
"What if they start to struggle?"
"What if I'm in the bathroom a little too long and they start to panic and worry for me?"
"What if I succeed in suicide and they do it too??"
"What if I accidentally encourage one of them to take their life?"
"What If HE takes his life? He already struggles"
I slap myself and look in the mirror on the car.
"Cmon pull yourself together C." I say aloud.
I get out shortly after and walk into the ministry
"Im back."