Warnings- Just cussing
Songs for this Chapter are-
Stay by Rihanna and mikky ekko
Changes by xxxtentacion
Exile by Taylor swift and bon iver
Regular POV
"Hiya Princess!"
"R-rum-low."
"Did you miss me? Because i sure missed you Sweet Holly."
"S-Stay away from me!"
"What I'm here to join you and Madisynn that's her name right? for drinks."
"You tricked me into coming here! Why do you have Madisynn's phone! What did you do to her!"
"I didn't do anything... Yet."
"No!" I mutter in my sleep.
You're having a nightmare Holly, Wake up
1 Year Ago
"I love to hear you scream in pain, Holly." He taunts and i look over to him with my tired eyes, I've been expiremented on for 10 hours straight, Strapped into a bed with an IV Hooked to me.
"It's like music to my ears." He taunts more as he gets closer to me with the big needle in his hand.
"No Please." I croak, I'm tired.
"No more." I'm so tired.
"But it's time for your second shot Princess." He mocks.
"No Stop!" I try to cry out but my voice is giving out.
"It will only hurt a pinch, Now be a good girl and stay still, Don't want to poke a artery." He laughs manically.
I jolt awake as i gasp for oxygen. Ugh it was just a nightmare. I'm okay. I'm safe. I sit up with sweat all over my face. I scan my eyes but i'm alone in the living room.
Where did the guys go?
I hear voices out in the hallway. Can it be them? Or can it be someone else? We're in lockdown, It possibly can't be Rumlow. Unless..
"Guys?" I ask sort of groggily as i just woke up.
Relieve washes over me when i see Tony step into the living room.
"Hey you okay?" He asks as he takes a seat in front of me.
"Yea just a bad dream." I say as i get up to get a glass of water but he stops me.
"Allow me." He says and gets up and pours water into a glass and hands it to me.
"Thank you." I say as i take it, Taking a sip.
"Have you heard anything from Jamie yet?" I ask as i place the glass onto a coaster.
He looks at me but doesn't say anything.
I'm going to take that as a no
"Tony i'm worried, It's been too long. What if Rumlow-" But i don't finish what i was saying.
"Rumlow didn't get to him. He's fine." He says quickly.
"How do you know? Is he here?" I ask as i look around for him.
He would've came to see me. I would've woken up to him with him right by my side.
Is he still mad at me for blackmailing him?
"Sinclair He's ok. He just needs to get himself together." He says. He's hiding something i know it.
He's probably blaming himself. I need to see him. He's probably an emotional wreck.
"I need to see him, He's going to shut down." I say as i stand up.
"Not a good idea." He says blocking my path.
"What is it Stark, You're hiding something. Is he really okay?" I ask with an arch eyebrow.
"You don't want to see him right now, He's currently under the influence. Give him some time to get it together." He says.
Under the influence?
He's drunk?
He's fucking drunk!
I can't believe it! I've been worried sick, Hoping, Praying that Rumlow didn't get to him. And he stormed off to a bar and got drunk off his ass. While i almost got kidnapped.. Again might i add. I'm fucking seeing red. I'm going to murder him.
"Step aside Tony." I grit through my teeth.
"Hol-
But i don't let him finish i push past him.
"F.R.I.D.A.Y where is James." I deadpan.
"He's currently on level B in a cell." She informs.
They locked him up, So he wouldn't do anything stupid. But that cell is not going to save him from my wrath that i'm going to unleash on him. I'll fucking blow up the door if i have too. One way or another he's going to hear what i have to say.
Enough is Enough.
BUCKY'S POV
"Let me the fuck out of here Steve!" I bang on the glass door.
I need to see Holly. I can't even imagine what she went through. Rumlow's back, I'm going to fucking kill him for trying to hurt my girl.. Again.
"Fuck" I mummbled. I failed to protect her again. And it doesn't help that i was at a bar drinking my demons away while my girlfriend was on the verge of a kidnap attempt. I don't know all the details yet but by the sound of it she got away. I'm so fucking glad. I'm never letting her out of my sight again.
"Steve!" I shout again, Banging on the glass door.
"What!" He shouts as he steps into the frame.
"Let me out! I need to see Holly! I need to be by her side!" I shout as i glare at him.
"Not untill you're sober enough to talk to her. She had a panic attack Buck and seeing you in your state right now, She doesn't need to deal with you like this. Don't you think she's been through enough?" He lectures me with an arch eyebrow. His big ole vein popping out.
Fuck
Yes
I sigh as i shake my head.
"I just want to see her. She almost got taken away from me.. Again." I breathe out.
"You can see her an in hour drink that water bottle behind you." He says.
"Fuck the water, Let me out Steve. I'll break the door if i have too." I threat as i form my metal hand into a fist.
"You can try but you're gonna struggle it's unbreakable even for vibranium. It's the same cell we used for Loki." He says.
I was going to try but a angry shout stops me dead in my tracks.
"Let me through Bruce!" Holly shouts and she never shouts at anyone besides me.
She sounds fucking Pissed.
All of a sudden i don't feel the need to break the door down. Maybe it's better i stay in here... For my safety.
Both Steve and I both widen our eyes and he turns around and rushes over.
"Holly you should be resting. He's okay. He's alive." Steve says, trying to calm Holly down.
"Hmm! Not for long!" She says furiously and i can already imagined her saying it with a finger pointed at him.
I gulp, I'm not scared of much. I'm used to people being scared of me. But my 5'2 Fiesty girlfriend scares me more than Red Skull, especially when she's pissed or Hangry.
I hear Steve stepping aside without even trying to put up a fight.
Smart Man
She storms in and stops right in front of my cell. She has both Hands form into a fist and her face is red from the Anger.
I fucked up big time.
"Pump-"
"Don't even dare finish saying that name." She deadpans. I gulp again. I've never seen her like this.
"How did you feel?" She glares.
"W-what do you mean?" I ask nervously.
"How. Did. You. Feel?" She says again but slower.
Steve steps in but he stays far back as he's also scared of her.
"I-I uh i felt. I uh still don't know what you mean Holly Bear." I say hesitantly.
"How did you feel when you were slurping down alcohol, Not a care in the world. While i was almost taken again. Did you feel good?, Happy even?" She says but keeps on going.
"Let me tell you how i felt James. I felt afraid, I felt frightened, Horrified, Petrified. I felt intimitated, I felt worried but you want to know what feeling i felt the most? I felt ALONE, All alone." She deadpans.
"The last thing you said to me was that you didn't want me." She snares.
"Baby i didn't mean it lik-
"I'm sorry, I believe i'm not done talking." She says with such calm that is scaring me even more.
Aries are deadly when they're calm
"That could have been our last goodbye and we wouldn't even have known. And when i woke up from my nightmare, You weren't by my side. I needed you, I fucking needed you but you didn't needed me at that moment, All you needed was your precious alcohol. I just needed you Jamie. Even if you couldn't protected me. I just needed you." She says and i can see she's trying to hold back tears.
I feel like a knife is cutting through me.
I just needed you
A hurt look appears on my face.
"I've been patient, I've been by your side. I defended you countless times. I even submitted to your dark side." She continues.
"I know, I'm sorry. I know i said that before too but i promise, I won't leave you again. I won't let Rumlow get close to you ever again." I say as my blood boils remembering about that asshole.
I'm going to kill him
"You don't have to worry about him right now. Worry about yourself. I'm going to continue to train, I'm going to help the Avengers to stop him before he can hurt anyone else." She says.
"Holly i know you're mad and you have every right to be but you can't continue to train. Let us take care of him. I don't want you anywhere close to him. I don't want you getting hurt again." I say hoping she accepts.
"I wasn't asking for permission." She deadpans. My jaw ticks.
Jesus Woman
"Holly Please."
"No." She says with a straight face.
"God dammit Holly, I don't want to lose you!" I shout without realizing.
"You almost did!" She shouts back.
I bang on the glass door out of fustration.
"You're going to!" She shouts as she bangs on the glass door.
My heart stops
"W-What are you talking about?" I ask meeting her dead in the eyes.
"I'm going to train that is my priority right now. And yours is getting your life back together without me. You need to attend your classes and complete them. You need to talk to Dr. Raynor about your nightmares until then we're on a break." She breathes out.
My heart sinks into my stomach.
Until then we're on a break?
"Let's just talk about this okay. There's no need for that drastic measure." I say quickly but she shakes her head no.
"I need to see a change, I need to see more than words." She says with a tear rolling down her face.
Panic rushes over me.
Fuck Fuck Fuck
"Holly please." I say with a crack voice.
"I'm going to stay in a spare room for now." She says as she looks down to the floor.
"No Holly, don't please." I plead.
She was about to turn to walk away. And i just couldn't help but to spit my venom.
"The reason why i fell off the grid was because of you!" She stops and turns back to me with a glare.
"It pained me to lay by your side! You're a constant reminder of my failure! I failed to protect you! I wanted you to leave me because that's what i deserved! I don't deserve you! But you stayed and i don't know why! Can't you see i'm not worthy! I'm a lost cause!" I shout almost making the glass shake.
"You punished me for staying? That's what this was all about? to run me off? Because i stayed? Because i fucking stayed!" She screams making the window shake even more.
"I'm sorry i stayed because i love you! I've done nothing but love you! You put the both of us through hell because you're angry at yourself. You choose to be a lost cause James, You got lost in the darkness but I or i should say Us, should be the cause you look for to be found again." She cries.
I fucking hate seeing her cry
"You let Rumlow win, You crumbled without being touched but i refuse to let him break me." She says with a cold-stone face.
"YOU"RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE NEAR HIM!" I roar.
"YES I AM! AND YOU WON'T STOP ME!" She roars back but when she did she snapped her fingers unintentionally and she made the whole glass cell explode. I duck and cover my face as pieces of glass come my way.
She gasps, Steve runs to check on me but i put my hand out.
"I'm fine, I'm okay." I assure them.
She takes a step to me but she stops.
"Bear i'm ok-
But she covers her mouth with her hands as they shake, She's scared that she hurt me.
She looks at me and Steve then she runs away.
I step out of the cell to go after her but Steve grips my arm.
"let me go, She needs to know she didn't hurt me!" I say as i try to shake him off.
"No leave her be. If you go after her right now. You're going to push her over the edge." He says.
I look at him then i look at the floor. I slowly nod. He's right. She's been through alot today. I need to give her a day before i talk to her, even though i don't want too but i'm already in the doghouse. I'm on the verge of losing her completely.
She's going to see a change, I'm going to do whatever it takes to get her back, To get myself back.
I'll get your Jamie back, Bear.
The old Bucky back.
Please comment and vote :)
Socials
Instagram @aneliwrites
Tik Tok @galexakcv3z
Spotify Playlist Galexa904
Other books you can read of mine while you wait for new chapter :)
Love in the Dark (Dark Steve Rogers)
Love in the light (sequel)
Invisible Chains (Dark Captain Hydra)
Dark obsession (OB)