Ryan's POV
HE IS NOT YOUR FATHER, RYAN! I LIED.
These were her first words to me. If only I was there before the last moment, I would have heard her say them to me herself instead of writing them down.
I wanted so desperately to hear the whole truth from her but I wanted to give it time. I wanted it to be the right time to ask so she wouldn't give me an excuse not to talk about it but now she is gone.
I will never hear her talk to me again.
I REGRET LYING TO YOU, SON. IT WAS NOT IN MY INTENTION TO DO THAT BECAUSE I THOUGHT HE WAS WORTH IT. APPARENTLY, HE ISN'T WORTH IT.
I THOUGHT I COULD CHANGE HIM. I THOUGHT I WAS DOING A GREAT JOB CHANGING HIM FROM THE MAN HE USED TO BE BUT NOW THAT IT IS TOO LATE, I REALIZE HOW MUCH DAMAGE I HAVE CAUSED TO YOU AND MYSELF.
YOUR BIOLOGICAL FATHER DIED A MONTH BEFORE YOU CAME TO THE WORLD. DAVIS STOOD BESIDE ME AND HE WAS LIKE A FATHER FIGURE. I NEVER KNEW HE HAD ULTERIOR MOTIVES.
I REGRET HAVING YOU USE HIS SURNAME INSTEAD OF DARCEL'S NAME. I REGRET LYING TO YOU. I REGRET MAKING YOU BELIEVE THAT HE IS YOUR FATHER WHEN HE ISN'T.
I REGRET MEETING HIM.
HE IS UP TO NO GOOD AND I WANT YOU TO PROMISE ME TO BE FINE. I BARELY KEPT SECRETS AWAY FROM YOU BUT THIS HUGE SECRET WAS TOO HARD FOR ME TO REVEAL. I COULDN'T BARE TO SEE THE HURT AND PAIN FLASHING ACROSS YOUR EXPRESSION WHEN YOU GET TO KNOW HE ISN'T YOUR FATHER.
I WANTED YOU TWO TO BE ON GOOD TERMS. YOU WERE ALWAYS ON EACH OTHER'S NECK. HE ALWAYS TELLS ME ABOUT HOW DIFFICULT OF A CHILD YOU WERE AND HOW YOU WERE ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT HIM.
HOW I MANAGED TO KEEP MY COOL ALL THESE YEARS AMAZES ME. I AM INDEED A STRONG WOMAN.
I LOVE YOU, SON. I WISH I CAN KEEP TO MY PROMISE OF STAYING ALIVE TO SEE YOUR CHILD BUT I DON'T THINK SO.
DAVIES MUST BE SOMEWHERE RIGHT NOW PLANNING ON HOW TO KILL ME. IF I DIE, EVERYTHING I OWE BELONGS TO HIM.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE IT ALL AWAY.
CHECK MY ROOM CABINET. THERE IS A SAFE LOCK SOMEWHERE AROUND, YOU WILL FIND SOMETHING USEFUL IN THERE.
I LOVE YOU AND I WANT YOU TO FORGIVE ME FOR DOING THIS. TELL VALERIE THAT I LOVE HER TOO AND I HOPE YOUR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER WILL NEVER FADE AWAY.
THIS IS THE ONLY WAY I CAN KEEP SMILING WHEREVER I AM.
DO NOT HATE ME.
A tear rolls down my eyes and another till I begin to wail like a child as the realization hits me like a volcanic rock.
This is it!
She is gone!
I was trying so hard not to read it. But I couldn't ignore the curiosity eating at me. I wanted to know more but there isn't more except for the fact that my biological father is also dead and I am now an adult orphan.
I didn't want to read the note because I thought if I did, then it means she is really dead. I was hoping, wishing, and holding onto a loose strand of hope for her survival, for a possible miracle so I can tell her that I still love her no matter what and that I forgive her.
She did the wrong thing for the wrong person. Someone who didn't deserve it. He married her for the money. And he got rid of her for the money too.
I don't even need Mother to tell me that Anita isn't my sister before figuring that out. She hasn't even called or asked her since Mother was admitted. I hate the years I spent with those two thinking we were families.
It makes me regret a lot too.
My wails turn into whimpers when I realize where I am. The silence of the night has been disturbed by my noise and I don't want to alert anyone in the house, especially not Valerie.
The door screeches and I turn my back to the door, knowing full well that it is Val. I didn't succeed in my effort not to wake her up.
With my back to her, I fold the note carefully and wipe my tears with the back of my palm waiting for her to say something so I will know if she heard me crying or not.
Instead, I hear the sound of her feet approaching stealthily. When she is close by, she hugs me from behind, her hands moving to my broad chest and caressing me.
My eyes fall on her hands and I start to weep again. This time, it is more painful. I continue to hit my chest, hoping the pain will subside but it isn't until she comes around to hug me from the front.
This stops me from hitting my chest. The loud sound coming from my mouth stopped too but the tears wouldn't.
I still can't believe she is gone. The fact that he killed her is more disturbing than anything else.
Valerie thinks he sent Anita to do the job since it was claimed that the person who shot her was a female. The writing at the back of the letter says it all but I have a feeling it is Celina.
Celina called to inform me but she is also nowhere to be found. Anita hasn't called and I haven't seen her which makes me doubt if she is even in the country. Her protective father would want her far away from here for now. He thinks they can get away with it.
"Ryan", her sweet voice makes me blink my eyes open, craving to hear her say more of what she has in mind. "Everything is going to be fine."
I want to believe her but the moment she sniffles too, I don't want to believe her anymore. She is indeed shaken by the news of her death probably because we both saw her a day before she died and probably because she is still scared that she will lose her parents too but I won't let that happen.
I disengage from the hug, missing the feel of her soothing touch. With my two hands around her cheek, I peck her forehead, not minding my wet face and I caress her beautiful face.
"Don't you ever leave me again, Val", I say with another cry as the pain hits me again. We are together because of the woman who died.
What will happen to me if she leaves too? She is the only one I have now. The only person I can trust but the fear of her leaving me too scares the shit out of me.
Will I survive this anguish?
Her death was expected the moment I got to know she was diagnosed with cancer and it took me a great wheel of time and courage to accept that she would be gone from me. Finally, after realizing that it was all a ploy to get away with their murderous intention, she dies.
I was no longer expecting it. I wanted her to live long till Valerie and I can give her the grandchildren that she wants.
I didn't want our lies to be in vain. The lies we fed her about our pretend marriage and about the fake pregnancy. I wanted everything to be real.
"I won't!" A voice jerks me out of my reverie, reminding me of my question.
No, it wasn't a question. It was more like an order. But she isn't someone to be ordered around.
A tear drops from her eyes as she shakes her head. "I won't leave, Ryan."
We embrace tightly but it is comforting. I wish we can remain this way. I wish I am brave enough to accept this ugly reality and begin to talk to her about the note and all the happy moments I had with Mother.
Despite her flaws, she is the best Mother ever. Everyone claims to have the best Mother but mine is exceptionally great and better.
I hope she finds eternal peace wherever she is.
My phone rings and we pull away from the hug abruptly. Mr. Lewis's name flashes across my phone screen as I pick it up, sparing Valerie a knowing glance.
"Mr. Lewis, good…"
"Come to the station right away. We have your suspects locked up with an extra suspect. You would be surprised who it is."
"Really?" I shoot to my feet instantly. My spirit is lifted. If Mother is truly gone, then what I need to do is find her killers and get justice for what was done to her. This is the only thing that can make me feel better and assured that she is in a better place.
"Come right away", he utters firmly before disconnecting the call.
"The suspects have been caught?" Valerie asks me immediately. I drop the call and I nod intermittently, a genuine smile creeping to my face.
She wipes her tears too, smiles, and hugs me again briefly before grabbing my hand and moving to take the exit out. "Let's go see the bastards, then!"
****
Finally!
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