ELIZA
The snow had lasted all night, and the prediction I had made became reality.
We were having a white Christmas.
And even though it was something I would normally be ecstatic about, there was a gaping hole in my heart where my happiness should have been. I was sure we all shared the same feelings about today. Our first holiday without dad. We didn't really celebrate Halloween, maybe the odd trick or treating here and there, but Christmas? Christmas was special.
I had fallen asleep in mums bed, and when I had woken up, I found myself covered in her blankets, and the space next to me empty. She's probably awake and starting to prepare Christmas dinner.
I grab everyones presents from my room before running out and barrelling down the stairs. I greeted mum in the kitchen, handing her my gift. I watch closely with anticipation as she unwraps. It feels strange seeing her in the house, and preparing a meal that would have been done together with dad. I keep the smile planted on my face.
"Oh sweetie! This is so beautiful! Wasn't it expensive?" She asks, scanning the silver necklace I had brought her, she holds the chain in front of her, admiring the small blue heart that hung at the centre.
I lean against the counter, "I have a job now mum, I can buy stuff like this."
"Where's mine then, Izzy?" Ezra strides into the room.
I fold my hands over my chest, "I'm only giving it to you if you got me something."
He feigns shock before replying, "And who said I didn't? Here, catch!"
He chucks a small ball of wrapping paper towards me, almost flying past my head as I reach up to grab it.
In my hand lands a poorly wrapped present - I can't even say it's wrapped, it looks like our neighbours dog chewed on the paper before it got here. I open it cautiously, not really sure what to make from the cube shape.
My eyes widen, "No way! You got me something from Pandora?!"
I open the box in haste, expecting a necklace, bracelet, or even a ring. My excitement soon turns into disappointment when I see lying a singular piece of card in its place. Scruffy writing atop in bright pink.
"I owe you?" I say aloud, confused.
"Yeah," Ezra replies, his voice muffled from the donut in his mouth, "It's an I owe you card, redeemable any time of the year, but it expires next Christmas. You can ask me to do anything basically."
I drag my eyes up slowly in disbelief, my mouth agape.
"What?" Ezra asks, laughing, "It's a cool gift to be honest, having me at your service, some people would die for that opportunity."
"Can I use this now?" I mutter.
"Sure," He takes another bite, "Go ahead."
"Walk to the nearest bridge, and throw yourself from it."
"Ah, ah, ah. I don't do anything that will bring me bodily harm." He replies, almost choking on his food.
"Well then, you might want to start running." I say, giving him three seconds before I dart around the table and into the living room, chasing him.
He stands on the other end of the sofa, both hands stretched out in front, "Ok! Ok! Wait! I was joking, I actually do have a proper present!"
"Right. And I'm going to date Jasper." I reply, disbelief lacing my voice.
He stands up straight, a frown etching on his features, "Why would you even joke about that?"
"Annoys you, doesn't it?" I ask, with a smile on my face, I reach out for the closest pillow and throw it across at him, "Now get over here!"
He ducks, covering the front of his face with his forearms, "No! I promise! Look."
He shoves his hand into his pocket, producing a ball off coloured tissue, without a word, he extends his hands, stretching far enough for me to reach.
I unwrap the crumpled tissue, and a small sterling silver ring was placed in the centre, "How did you know?"
He sucks air through his teeth, before leaning against the sofa, "What can I say, only your favourite brother would know what to get you."
I scoff, but smile with happiness, I go under the tree, reaching of his present and bring it to him.
"This better be worth half the price of that ring," He mutters, pulling on the wrapping.
I wait in anticipation of his reaction. He pauses, staring at the gold chain dangling from his finger, slowly blinking.
"H-how? I thought they- I thought they couldn't find it?" He says, his voice barely above a whisper.
He was holding the one piece of jewellery - excluding his wedding ring - that dad wore everywhere, a thin gold chain. It was some sort of gift from my obaasan (grandmother) before she had passed away, and as far as my memory serves me, I hadn't seen him ever take it off. I didn't know much about my fathers side of the family, I had never been to Japan, and none of his family had contacted us in a long time. All I knew was that dad had left Japan after a dispute between his family. Whenever I would ask, he always evaded the question, playing it off with jokes or changing the subject. Eventually we all stopped asking, and now a part of me wishes I hadn't. Along with losing dad, I had lost all parts of his identity, never learning what it truly meant to be apart of Japanese culture or where I stood with his family.
Mum had no siblings, she was an only child, so it was safe to say that outside of our family of five, we had virtually no one to call our family.
"I went back to the site, and I found some broken pieces, we took it to the jewellers, they managed to replicate the missing links, and there you have it. The undamaged version of dads necklace." I reply, walking to him. He brings me into a hug, his chin leaning on the top of my head.
"I know he would have wanted you to have it the most." Elijah speaks up from the entrance of the living room, "And before Izzy takes all the credit, it's a present from the both of us."
"Thank you guys, I mean it."
-
Christmas had ended only with happiness, we had all exchanged our gifts and played in the snow for a bit. Watching mum watch us have fun from the bench, with her camera out, reminded me of us when we were all children. There was a deep feeling of nostalgia that had run through me the entire day, and as much as I had dreaded it, I think I enjoyed it more.
But if I had known that that day was going to be the last remaining day of such gaiety, I wouldn't have closed my eyes to sleep, I would have stayed awake and savoured every second of that day. I would have done more to keep that peace in a bubble, protected.
New Years rolled by, and my day had started with a call to Riya, who was currently resided in Switzerland for the holidays, to visit family. We had talked for about an hour or so before I decided to head down for food. The moment I opened my door, I was greeted with the stillness of the hallway. Not one noise was evident, no clattering of pans, no music from the bathroom or loud conversations that would carry through the house.
No one was here.
I was alone, on dads birthday.
I decide against making breakfast, closing the door of the fridge before I seated myself on the couch. I stare out to the window, not wanting to miss the moment someone walks through our front yard.
I had expected mum to go to work, it was what both she and I did best when we were unable to face the torrent of emotions that was building within us. She was probably having a hard time trying to ignore the memories this day held. Elijah had probably left to go to visit dad at his grave, as he said he would, which brought me hope that maybe he would return later in the day, so at least then I wasn't going to be lonely for a long time, just until Eli returns from his visit. Ezra however, I wasn't sure where he had headed. Even when I had asked, he had shown no intentions to be leaving for anywhere today.
Maybe he went with Elijah.
Maybe he needed to have time alone.
My eyes dart to the window once again, in futile hope that I might catch one of them returning.
When I realise that there was no sign of anyone, my hands join together, my fingers picking the skin around my thumb out of nervous habits.
I made sure in my mind that I had reminded them almost every day that I didn't want to be alone, I talked to them individually and when they both were together, and both had nodded or agreed to stay.
That does mean they would return... doesn't it?
Minutes and hours tick by, I stay seated in the same position until the clock had rung for the fifth time, my eyes wearily look to the clock.
It was 2 PM.
With a heavy heart I stand up, and walk to the kitchen. No one was going to come. There was nobody I could rely on but myself. I could feel anger, resentment and disappointment, but that wouldn't bring them home, it wouldn't change the fact that I was left here. I should accept that it has happened, maybe they were finding today really hard. I mean I was. And the way I wanted to deal with it was by not being alone. But maybe that's not what they wanted, maybe they needed time away from home and reminders, to reflect on it alone.
I grab the small white cake from the fridge and set up the candle. I wasn't sure if it was alright for me to cut the cake without anyone here, but I had waited long enough, I'm sure dad was waiting for us to sing him happy birthday, or he would be upset and think we all forgot.
"Ha-ppy birth-day to you." I sing quietly, whilst cutting a small piece.
"Happy birth-day, to you," My eyes fill with tears, and all I could think about in this moment was how angry I was. No one was here to celebrate this with me, they had all forgotten.
"Happy birthday to-," I take a wobbly breath in, "Dad."
I place the knife onto the table, and stare at the small flame that flickered on the cake, continuing, "Happy birth-day to you."
The invisible barrier that stoped my tears from falling had snapped towards the end, there were droplets racing down my cheeks, and my voice had been reduced to just a whisper as I finished the song.
He would have been 54 today, he was older than most parents, but the youth in him still radiated from his eyes. He would always blame mum for entering his life so late, saying how if she had crossed is path earlier in his life, he wouldn't have had to chase her so much, because she would have already been enamoured by his stunning looks.
I remain seated at the table even when I finish the slice of cake in my hand. The overwhelming feeling of disappointment had rippled through me, and the familiar ache of my head had returned.
I couldn't help but feel abandoned by my family. I only had one request today, and that was not to be alone.
But here I was, sat in the darkness of the kitchen, accompanied only by the millions of memories that filled my lonely mind.
———
Hey guys,
I hope you enjoyed today's chapter. Next update is Saturday 8th April, but please, please, please can we get in at least 5 votes for the chapter, I'd really appreciate it :(
Thank you,
Elle x