Staying in bed until ten o'clock in the morning is considered sleeping in for the business people of the world. The construction people. The nine to five people. The early birds of the planet.
To the people who are usually awake and starting their day at six in the morning, sleeping until ten is definitely a luxury.
"Yeonjuuuunn." Tula sings his name quietly.
She pushes his hair out of his face as she attempts to wake the man up. She'd let him sleep as long as he wants for his day off but his phone has been vibrating on and off for the last hour.
"Hm?"
"Your boss has been calling."
"Mm." He turns his head away from her and goes back to sleep.
"Did you hear what I said?" She asks softly.
"Mhm."
"What if it's important?"
"It's my day off. Nothing's that important." He mumbles.
"Yeonjun." Tula says in a warning tone.
He grumbles and groans before rolling over and looking at her. His face expresses his tired annoyance before he's grabbing his phone off the nightstand.
His boss has called him twice now and texted him. He wants Yeonjun to call him as soon as he can.
He rolls his eyes at that as he sits up.
"What do you want for breakfast?" Tula asks.
"You." He reaches for her and she laughs, slipping out of his grasp.
"No can do, sir. I've got to be to work soon and you have a boss to call back." She pulls him by his arm to get him out of bed.
He stands up and stretches as Tula hugs him. She wraps her arm around him and pecks his lips despite his morning breath. It's a quick peck and nothing more, knowing that he hates kissing her before he's brushed his teeth.
Yeonjun walks to the bathroom and spends 30 minutes with his morning routine. When he's finished, he walks out of the bathroom towel drying his hair. He gets dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt.
It's his day off so if he does get called into the office to speak to his boss, his attire really doesn't matter. He's not required to be there.
Yeonjun joins Tula in the kitchen as she plates his French toast sticks and eggs. He thanks her with a kiss before sitting to eat.
"Alright, I gotta go. I don't want to be late." Tula says as she puts her coat on.
"Okay. I'm sorry I didn't get up earlier."
"It's okay. I want you to get your sleep, I'd have let you if your boss wasn't calling. I'll see you later when I get off."
"See you later." Yeonjun says as he puts a French toast stick into his mouth. "I love you!"
"I love you, too, lover boy!"
Yeonjun giggles deeply as Tula closes the door behind her. She uses her key to lock it as Yeonjun grabs the remote. He turns the TV on and watches the morning news as the weather is discussed."
"There's going to be a high of 49 degrees today but we've got a strong wind advisory. Everybody whoop and cheer for the possible weather break. The snow's been clearing up off the streets. The ice is gone. It's a great day; just hold onto your bags. Thanks for tuning in today. I'll see you at two o'clock."
Yeonjun looks outside as the sun peeks through the curtains. Even though it's sunny, he still doesn't trust the weather. For all he knows, it'll snow again tomorrow.
He continues to watch the television as he eats his breakfast. Entertaining himself through the commercials with social media, he scrolls endlessly.
"Thank you for tuning in to Channel Four news as we continue to update you on what police are now calling the 'jackpot murders'. Investigators have reason to believe that the people behind the killings are those associated with a gang that call themselves 'the Casino Boys'."
Yeonjun's eyebrows furrow as he watches the television. He's sure he's heard that somewhere before. But then again, he and Tula watch the news a lot. In the morning with breakfast and again at night with dinner.
His mother calls them the 'old couple' because of it.
"Victims of these killings have included both Quentin Biggs, and his accomplice and younger brother Jamel Biggs. With the murder of these two young men, the south wedge of the city has been in high tension. But that hasn't stopped the local police department from doing their jobs. Just last night, police obtained a warrant for the arrest of Jahlil Collins-."
"Hm?!" Yeonjun's eyes widen as he chokes on his French toast.
He scrambled to pick up the remote to turn the TV up as he watches the footage of the arrest.
"-who has been named as an accomplice of the Biggs'. It's public record that they've been arrested together before on charges including illegal possession of firearms, drug possession and assault."
"Oh my God." Yeonjun says with a mouth full of food as he stands up from his chair.
"Collins was arrested yesterday in the parking lot of the downtown courthouse where his mother made the statement that her son 'is innocent and just trying to get custody of his son'. Collins' lawyer and police refused to make a statement at that time but it's been confirmed that Jahlil has been arrested in connection with a drive by shooting that took place just last month. That's all that we have for you at this time. Please stay tuned for the latest with Channel Four."
"Oh my-." Yeonjun paces the kitchen floor. "What the fuck?!" He's in disbelief.
Then he isn't.
He's ecstatic.
"What the fuck?!" He laughs as he picks his phone up. "Oh my God."
The young lawyer scurries around the house, grabbing his keys and putting his shoes and coat before running out the door.
He locks it behind him before jogging to his car. He gets into the gray vehicle and throws his bag into the passenger seat.
As he drives a little over the speed limit to his job, he calls Harper's phone. He knows that she's at work and that's proven when her phone rings to the voicemail.
"Hey, Miss Taylor, good morning. It's Yeonjun Choi, your lawyer. I'm sure you already know that, you've got my number. I'm calling because I'm on my way to my office right now but I've got some information about Jahlil that you really need to hear. It's urgent. He's been arrested but I'd like to discuss the details with you further. Please give me a call when you get the chance. Thank you."
He hangs up the line as he pulls into the parking lot of his job. He backs into a spot, managing to do it perfectly despite barely looking. He grabs his bag and his phone before heading into the building.
"Hi, Mrs. Loft." He greets the receptionist with a grin as he rushes by.
"Good afternoon, Yeon-. Wait, isn't it your day off? Why are you here?"
"On business!" He calls from halfway down the hall.
"Don't overwork yourself now, Mister!" She calls back.
"I'm not! I promise!" His keys jangle as he fumbles them around in his hand.
He puts the correct one into the lock and opens the door.
"Yeonjun." His boss, Mr. Fitzgerald, calls from his left.
He springs his head up and looks at him.
"Yes?"
"I called you a couple times this morning." He puts his hands in his pockets. "You didn't see it?"
"Uh.. no, actually. I was sleeping. My girlfriend woke me up and I was eating breakfast. I was going to call you after."
"Sleeping through phone calls from your boss isn't really a professional thing to do, now is it?"
"Well it's my day off... so...." Yeonjun's eyes shift away from him then back again.
"Yet here you are. Though, I'm glad you're in. There's some things we need to discuss." The man claps him on the shoulder and leads him into his office.
Yeonjun walks to his desk and sets his bag down, confused as to what they could possibly have to talk about. It's not too often that anybody else at the firm really speaks to him outside of meetings or briefings.
Everything feels so cliquey all the time and Yeonjun has just learned his place in the hierarchy. Not that he has any attempt to actually climb it.
He just wants to be a good lawyer and mind his business. He doesn't understand the dramatics and meanness behind things done here.
It's a business; they're all supposed to be working together in a sense. Though none of them really uphold this ideology with Yeonjun.
The young man sits behind his desk as his boss sits in the chair in front of it.
Fitzgerald is at he's as Yeonjun unlocks the bottom drawer and pulls out a file. It's a manilla folder, holding the information of the only case that Yeonjun has right now.
Taylor v. Collins
Fitzgerald clears his throat as Yeonjun opens his laptop. The younger hears him but continues what he's doing. It's very important that he get started on gathering information for what he's just discovered. It'll be extremely useful in court for them to have.
"I called you earlier hoping that you would be able to come in today. I want to talk about the matter of your case."
"What about it?" Yeonjun asks casually as continues his task.
"I've decided that it's best if someone else takes this case on."
"On what grounds?"
"The matters of this case are a little more complicated than we expected them to be."
"Okay?" Yeonjun shrugs as he types into his search bar.
Fitzgerald raises his eyebrows at his response. He blinks at him, waiting for him to recant or change his response. When he doesn't, Fitzgerald continues speaking.
"This was supposed to be just a custody case. However with how high profile your client's petitioner has become in the city-."
"That is not any of my concern." Yeonjun says. "Nor is it yours. It actually isn't a concern at all as I've already gotten the information necessary to move forward. I've already notified my client of the urgency in which I need to speak with her. So you or anybody else taking over this case isn't necessary."
"I'm sure that with the current events, your client would prefer someone with more experience. Someone whose more capable-."
"How would you know what I'm capable of?" Yeonjun stops typing and looks at him. "How would any of you know what I'm capable of?"
He stares at Fitzgerald as he speaks, leaving the man speechless at his sudden tone.
"All that I've ever been assigned are family cases. All that any of you have ever given me are family cases. I've handled cases where the other parties were in similar situations as Collins is in, so why does it matter now that I'm handling this one? What's the difference?" Yeonjun narrows his eye at Fitzgerald with a tilt of his head.
"Is it because I'll be in the public eye? What's the matter with that? We're all lawyers here, aren't we? Everyone else was 'treated the same' as Im being treated, you said, right? Until they 'proved themselves' qualified enough, able enough to take bigger cases. So what's the issue with me doing this one? Wouldn't this be 'proving myself'?"
Fitzgerald scoffs as he looks away from Yeonjun. He stands up, fixing the cuff links of his suit.
"This isn't the type of case for you to be playing 'king of the jungle' with, Mr. Choi. This is high profile, this has to be handled with care."
"And it will be. It has been." Yeonjun stands up as well. "Just not by you or anybody else in this building."
"I'm telling you to give up the case, Choi."
"And I'm telling you no, Hugo."
"You're a rookie, kid. You're fresh out of law school. You've got no experience. You're going to get in that court room and embarrass the entirety of the company!"
"It's just a custody case, Hugo. What are you worked up for? Simple, easy. 'So simple, anybody could do it'." Yeonjun quotes. "Isn't that what you told the others when you started giving me all these types of cases?"
"You know what?" Fitzgerald says as he puts his hands up in surrender. "Fine. But just know, after you face that judge tomorrow, you'll be out of a job. And I'll make damn sure you never get one anywhere else."
Yeonjun stares at Fitzgerald as he walks out of the office. He swallows thickly when the door clicks closed. He licks his lips before he starts packing his office up.
With tears in his eyes and determination in his heart, Yeonjun Choi leaves the building. He packs his box of belongings into the trunk of his car and slams it closed.
Mrs. Loft waves solemnly to him from the front window. He waves back with a bittersweet smile, trying to make the agony in his chest.
Being dropped from the firm of his dream job hurts.
But having to go home and tell Tula that he's going to be out of a job hurts even more.
######
10:37 P.M.
"One.. two. Just two left." Yoongi mumbles as he counts the pills on the bottle.
Harper's got one day of antibiotics left and then they have to wait a week before can put those non-lubricated condoms that he ordered to good use. Yoongi used his Amazon prime account to make sure they'd get to them faster.
It's really a wonder what being in love does to his libido.
He went months without even touching himself just because he didn't feel the need to. He didn't want to, he didn't care. He just wasn't in the mood for any of it.
But now? Since he's been with Harper the first time, it's like the flood gates to ecstasy have been opened. He feels like a such a horny man with some of the things that turn him on.
For instance, right now, Harper is just cleaning the living room. On her hands and knees, she's grabbing blocks from under the couch.
How they got under there, she would really like to know. She's never seen Onyx push them under there. Nobody has ever told her of him pushing things under couches.
Then again, they do have a cat.
"Jewel, I swear to St. Mary and Joseph. You put another block under this couch, we're gonna have to fight. You hear me?"
Jewel looks at her as if he's unaware of who she's speaking to. He licks his paws as he blinks slowly at her.
"Oh, don't give me that look. You're not getting out of this."
Jewel gets up and stretches his legs out before walking down the hallway. Harper stares at the cat in disbelief before continuing on with the cleaning.
Her spine is arched and her butt is poked out into the air as she reaches her arm under the couch.
She grabs the blocks and pulls them out, pushing them onto the open space of the carpet.
"Harper, you have to take your medicine before you forget." Yoongi holds the bottle up.
"I'm coming. I'm just getting all this stuff from under the couch." Her tone becomes considerably quieter when talking to him.
She's been like this for a few days. Ever since they had that little thing about her period being late, she's been keeping things short with him. She's been shyer, quieter, almost as if she's scared to talk to him.
Yoongi watches as she stands up and walks over to the counter. She uncaps the water bottle and takes the pill, quickly flushing it down.
"Are you okay?" Yoongi asks cautiously.
He doesn't want to say anything to offend her. She got her period the day after he asked her if it was late. So he doesn't know if she's just been in a mood because of her hormones, or if it's something else.
"...yeah... I guess." Harper expresses her confusion about her own emotions.
In truth, she doesn't know how to feel. It's a part of the reason why she hasn't brought it up to him in conversation.
She doesn't know what to say, how to approach the conversation. She doesn't even know where to start. Harper thinks that she's crazy for feeling the way that she does. And she doesn't want him to think of her that way.
"I just feel like my emotions don't make any sense, even to me." She explains. "So how could I explain them to you when I can't even lay them out in my own head?"
"You could just say whatever comes to mind. Whatever you're feeling whatever you're thinking, just lay them out. I'll piece them together." He holds his hand out for her and she walks over, stepping into his grasp.
His hands got to her waist and she remains silent.
It's been almost a week since their little conversation of her being late. It was nothing to make a big fuss about being that she wasn't pregnant. They both knew that and were both aware that the chances were very slim to none.
Yoongi's reason for asking her wasn't because he thought that she was pregnant at all. It was simply an observational question. He'd realized that she hadn't gotten it since he'd been in the apartment so he asked.
He didn't mean to upset her. Nor did he mean to say anything that would.
But the way that she responded to his secondary question is what really pinned him to the board. He didn't know how to feel about it or what he should have said back.
The idea of Harper not telling him about a possible pregnancy rubbed him the wrong way for a couple different reasons. It's her body and of course, her word will always be final. But the way that she told him she doesn't know if she'd tell him that she was pregnant wasn't something that he expected.
He feels like no matter what, there should be some sort of conversation. In the back of his mind, he knows that she'd be terrified if it were to ever happen. She'd be on edge, scared. Harper wouldn't know what to do if she were to find out that she was pregnant right now.
But without saying it, both of them know that her first thought would be that she can't keep it. She would be fearful of experiencing what she's already been through again. She would be trying to find ways to avoid it. She'd be looking for ways to 'resolve the issue', to 'avoid the conflict'.
Harper would be thinking of ways to keep herself safe.
And if safe means thinking of 'other options', then she'd do just that.
Yoongi knows that Harper loves him. But whether she's willing to admit it or not, she's still stuck in fight or flight. She's always ready to go into escape mode. She's always willing to hit the panic button.
When Yoongi said that there were always options for them, he was only trying to let her know that she'd be safe with him. That no matter what happens or what they decide or what she thinks is best for her mental health and her body, he'd bend to.
Whatever helped keep her in a good space, he'd be willing to try. Anything.
"I don't know what to say." Harper says quietly. "It feels stupid."
"Talk to me."
"You said there'd be other options." She starts. "You didn't even have to think about it."
"Because there would be. We have several."
"How could you say that, though?" Her voice is barely above a whisper as she speaks to him.
"I know that it's crazy for me to think like this. And I know that is sound insane and that it goes against everything that I don't want to be anymore but how could you-..?"
Her eyes tear up and she looks away from him.
Yoongi is stunned for several seconds as his heart squeezes in his chest. He didn't know that the conversation affected her this deeply. He hadn't known that she was this upset by it. Her being upset in any sense is enough for him to want to figure out why.
But to this degree? He hadn't know.
"I wasn't thinking of me." He admits. "I was only thinking of what you would want. Whatever you wanted to do."
"And you think that it would be easy for me?" Harper wonders. "That I could just so easily make the decision to.. abort my child. Our child?"
Yoongi's eyebrows loosen from their furrowed positions as she puts her view into perspective for him.
"Well, no. I just-. I didn't think of it like that. I just thought of.. how I thought you would think of the situation if it came up."
"How would you feel?"
"Hm?" Yoongi looks at her with a mildly confused expression. "I guess that it wouldn't really matter how I felt. I mean, it's your body. You have to grow and fuel this life with yours for ten months. The risks are high, there are far too many of them. A bunch that doctors don't even tell you about or that people don't mention until they happen to them."
"See? Yoongi, I need you to step outside of being a healthcare professional for just a second." Harper says as she looks up at him.
"I love that you're so educated and I love that you think without passing judgement but just for a second... please? If I told you that I were pregnant right now and that I wanted to abort it, you'd feel nothing?"
Yoongi opens his mouth to speak but is at a loss. He doesn't want to lie but he also doesn't want to force himself into a response when it simply isn't there yet.
"I don't know, Harper. I-. I think that maybe I'd be sad. But we know that that's an option. We know that it's a possibility."
Looking into his eyes, Harper sees very little conflict.
Yoongi is only confused because Harper is. He's conflicted about himself because of her. From the look on her face, from the sadness in her eyes, he knows that he's doing something wrong. He knows that he's saying something that she doesn't agree with.
He understands why she doesn't agree. But he doesn't feel why she doesn't agree.
And for that, he feels guilty.
"You really don't get it." Harper says softly as her arms slowly drop from his.
"I do, I just don't-." He stops himself short.
He isn't going to lie to her. He doesn't get it the way that she wants him to get it.
But he wants to.
"It's fine." She says quietly, retracting from his embrace.
"Harper-."
"It's okay." She pushes a smile onto her face. "I'm gonna go head to bed. We have to be up early tomorrow morning."
Harper presses a kiss to his cheek before heading back to the bedroom. She gets under the blankets and curls into them. Her head lies on the pillow and wet tears soak into the pillow.
As she cries quietly, Yoongi stands by the doorway out of her view. Hearing her anguish makes his eyes water. He swallows the burning lump in his throat, pushing its singe to the base of his neck.
He tortures himself as he puts his back against the wall. He slides to the floor, sitting there until she's cried herself to sleep.
He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know how to feel. He said that he'd never make her feel like this. He told himself that he'd do better than her last, that he'd show her much better.
Yet she's cried herself to sleep because of him. She's upset, she's in distress because of him and he doesn't know how to fix it.
How can he face her again like this? Knowing that he can't resolve the issue? How can he look her in the eyes knowing that she's hurting because of him? How can he allow her to continue to dote on him knowing that he's upset her so?
Yoongi sniffles as he stands up. He wipes his red rimmed eyes and pushes his hair back. Putting his slippers on, he walks to his apartment where he's sure that his parents are awake.
Lo and behold, when he asks into the living room, his parents are on the couch watching 'I Love Lucy'.
Mrs. Min sees his state and becomes concerned. The look on her face pushes more tears from Yoongi's eyes. She pats the spot in between herself and her husband and he sits on the couch without a word. He leans his head onto his father's shoulder and cries.
His mother grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers for comfort. She squeezes them and kisses his fingers.
"What happened, honey?"
"I don't know what's wrong with me, Mom."
The first things that pops into her head is to assure him that nothing is wrong with him. But that could be invalidating given certain circumstances. So instead, she says something else.
"Why do you think that something is wrong?"
"Harper-." He starts but is cut off by a choked sob.
All the parents hear is his girlfriend's name and think the absolute worst.
"Harper, what?" His father says quietly, coaxing him to talk.
"She cried herself to sleep because of me but I didn't mean to upset her."
"What happened, honey?"
Yoongi sniffles and composes himself enough to speak to them.
"Her cycle was late so a couple days ago, I asked her about it. Not because I thought anything but just because. I don't know. I was just talking to her. She told me that she wasn't pregnant, which I know. Then I asked her if she'd tell me if she was because she seemed off-put by my question. I didn't want her to panic but I wanted her to know that what I knew she'd think about, it would be fine if she wanted to do that."
He takes a breath and sighs. His parents look at each other, concerned and wanting clarification. The word 'fine' being used to describe the situation that he's alluding to isn't something they'd use.
But if it's a word that he'd use, they worry about the placement of that.
"She told me that she didn't know." Yoongi continues. "And that bothered me a little bit... a lot. It bothered me a lot because I just told her that we have options. We wouldn't have to keep it if she doesn't want to."
"I see." His mother says. "That's what she's upset about tonight?"
"She's upset because of how I said it. That I said it so easily. I know that it's not going to be easy for her. Mentally, emotionally, that would take a toll on her."
"And what about for you?" Mr. Min asks.
Yoongi stares at the wall as his vision blurs.
"I don't know. This is what she's upset about. But she didn't even seem 'mad' upset. She was just disappointed and that's worse. She looked me in my eyes and forced herself to smile."
"Oh, Yoongi." Mrs. Min.squeezes his hand and leans against him for comfort.
He's sandwiched in between his parents as he wipes his eyes.
"Something's wrong, Mom."
"It's nothing terribly awful, sweetheart. I think maybe... maybe your job's just getting to you is all." Mrs. Min says.
"A lot of doctors and medical professionals that work in hospitals have their own professionals that they go talk to." Mr. Min informs. "And you work in trauma and the E.D., Yoongi. I think that this could be well worth looking into. I think that you should. Not just for your relationship but for your mental health as well."
Yoongi hears his father's words, letting them soak into him. He doesn't disagree. He's seen thing that people don't see on a daily basis.
It may be true that he experienced his first loss of a patient up close and personal, but before that, death had been all around him. The fight for life, the sickness, the injuries.
He's educated for his career, he's built for it. But nobody is built to continuously endure trauma. Nobody should be able to withstand trauma. Especially for overexposed, extended periods of time with no valid, healthy outlet.
"You've always got us and your friends to talk to." Mrs. Min assures. "You know that. But to us, it's just venting."
Yoongi nods as he listens. "I have to talk to somebody who can help me work through it."
Mrs. Min smiles kindly at him. She loves her son, of course she does. Of course her husband does. But there are some things that, even as his parents, unfortunately, they don't know how to solve. They're not mental health professionals and they know that.
They can only offer words from experience and perspectives of life. They can't give him any professional medical advice.
"Do you want me to look into some people for you?" Mr. Min asks. "I know that you're busy with work."
"No, it's okay." Yoongi says, making his mind up. "I'll make the time to do that."
This is for the benefit of himself and his family. He'll always make time for them. Especially Harper and Onyx. They're his own family. His girlfriend, his son.
His parents expect him to put his family first. He's lived his life with his parents growing up. They know that his love for them will never waver. But their love for him is unconditional.
Harper, being a romantic partner and a previously mistreated woman, should have some conditions for him.
Nobody should love their partner 'unconditionally', Yoongi's parents have always told him. Because then, that means you'll go for anything. There needs to be conditions, boundaries, a bar to keep up.
You should not go or stay where you are mistreated. You should not go or stay where you are abused, used or treated as an option. You should not stay where you are being shown that you are unwelcome. You should not be where you are not taken care of in any way.
This is how manipulation works. This is how the guilt trip works.
Everybody needs conditions. Reasonable conditions. But conditions, nonetheless.
The only love that should be inherently unconditional is that of a parent to their child.
Words that Yoongi's father told him when he was 16. Why? He can't remember. But he knows that it was after he overheard an argument between his parents. Mr. Min was explaining that love should be active, always. The second that you stop working for it, it becomes a strain on your partner.
Love is a full time job. Not in the physical exertion, stressful, 'oh my God, I hate it here' sense.
But in the sense that it is always active. You should always be working to maintain it.
Yoongi wipes his eyes as he swallows thickly. The lump in his throat has begun to shrink, the singe is less painful.
His eyes drift to some of the photos that his parents have hung up on the wall. One is of Onyx holding his teether in his mouth and grinning. He's drooling a lot but what that isn't new.
Another photo is of Harper, Onyx and Yoongi. It's from Christmas Day when they went to the gingerbread village.
Mr. Min had asked them to look at the camera and smile and they did. But Yoongi couldn't help but look at Harper as she grinned.
His father, of course, got shots of this to tease him with. Putting it on display in the house is tease number one.
The third photo is from Delilah and Luca's wedding. Yoongi forwarded the email to his father who got them printed in a high resolution glossy finish.
In the picture, Yoongi and Harper are slow dancing together. Onyx had been whisked away again, by Matteo that time. He wanted to 'give them time to themselves'.
Really, it was an excuse to steal Onyx away and feed him mashed bits of ziti and some of his cannoli.
In the moment, it didn't matter what the reason was. Onyx's parents knew that he would be safe anywhere in the room that he was.
Yoongi knew that every Italian man in that room had a heavy piece of metal tucked safely in the back of their waistband. And that not a single one of them would hesitate to use it for the protection of their family.
So, he and Harper danced together to the tune of 'The Way You Look Tonight'. By then, he'd told her a million times that he loved her.
But as they slow danced to Frank Sinatra, Yoongi took the time to tell her that he was 'so in love' with her.
The words cannot be heard through the photo, but they're deeply conveyed through the love and adoration clear in their eyes.
Luca's mother wishes that she would have been able to capture the moment right after when Harper kissed him.
Unfortunately, her camera died (much to Matteo's happiness) and she was annoyed for about fifteen minutes before her husband found the charger for her.
Yoongi stares at the photo, unblinking. There was nothing but them in that moment. They'd completely forgotten where they were for a moment.
They were just two people in love, swaying to music and sharing googly eyes with each other.
Yoongi's entire embodiment of love was standing before him. She rode with him home that night.
He sleeps next to her. He cuddles with her. He laughs with her, dreams with her, makes love to her.
He wouldn't have it any other way.
The alternative to this... is what?
"Our job can be... traumatizing. And we hole it up to protect our family from our daytime nightmares. But in the end, it only drives them away. The rift that it causes, the resentment, the damage...." Dr. Han shakes his head. "You can't fix that."
Coming from a man on the verge of a divorce, three children that he'll have to split custody for and more regret than anybody should be able to stomach, Yoongi appreciates Dr. Han's advice.
But he doesn't want to be where he is. He never wants to end up there.
Seeing the way that him and Harper's current situation is playing out, Yoongi wonders how Han and his wife ended up that way.
How long did it take? How much did it take for his wife to decide that loving him just wasn't worth it anymore?
How can that be gauged?
By the number of unresolved conflicts? The number of unfinished conversations? The sleepless nights? The changing of tear soaked pillows?
How many? How long? How much?
Yoongi wants to know.
For he now fears that Harper will wake up on Mrs. Han's side of the bed.
######
4:36 A.M.
Harper sighs in her sleep as she rolls over. Expecting to be enveloped in warmth, her body begins to curl.
Instead she's met with the cool feeling of the sheets next to her.
No warm skin, toned chest or plush lips waiting to comfort her back to sleep. No Yoongi for her to feel safe sleeping against.
Harper's body forces her awake from the unfamiliarity of the situation.
She opens her eyes and looks around the room before her eyes go back to the bed. Her fingers rub over the space, as if to make sure she's not dreaming.
The space of the bed really is cool and her boyfriend really isn't there. Her heart beats faster in her chest as she remembers how they fell asleep.
Or rather, how she fell asleep.
Panicked and drowsy, Harper gets up from the bed. She grabs her phone from the nightstand and dials Yoongi's number.
She walks across the hall to check on Onyx to find him asleep on his back. His mouth is open as always and Jewel is laying right beside him.
She continues on down the hall and stops when she hears vibrating. Slowly, she takes the phone from her when she reaches the living room.
Seeing Yoongi asleep on the couch, she hangs up.
"Oh... Yoongi." She says softly.
She quickly walks to the couch and sets her phone on the side table next to his. She squats down and pushes his bangs to the side of his face to see him better.
His cheeks are pinker than usual, hinting at hues closer to red. The tip of his nose matches the shade of his cheeks. The tops of his cheeks are a little puffy and the area around his eyes is just the same.
Harper can tell that he's been crying as she watches him sleep. The pad of her thumb brushes against his cheek, wishing that she could soothe the swelling away from him.
She's half awake, not processing much outside of the fact that he's still here.
"Yoongi." Harper says his name quietly as she gently shakes his shoulder.
He doesn't budge so she taps his chest. She does it with just enough weight to mimic their son's smacks against his skin.
It wakes him immediately and he looks down to where Onyx would be sitting. He doesn't see him but down look back up to see Harper.
"Hey." She says softly. "Come to bed." She holds his hand in hers.
His eyes bounce over her features, seeing the puff in her cheeks and the darkened circles under her eyes.
Yoongi intertwines their fingers and sits up to stand from the couch. He follows Harper back to the bedroom and crawls into bed with her. He hugs himself to her, resting his head on her chest.
Harper's fingers thread in his hair, massaging his scalp as he closes his eyes.
"I'm sorry." She apologizes.
"You didn't do anything wrong." Yoongi assures.
"I feel like I did." Harper says.
"I'm telling you that you didn't. I'm just..." He inhales and sighs heavily. "We can talk more in the morning. I can't think right now. I'm too tired."
"... I love you." Harper says, admiring his eyelashes from above.
"I love you, too." Yoongi responds.
He places a kiss on her chest as he hugs her closer. She smiles faintly as she closes her eyes.
Relief begins to seep into them and replace the dread that had crept in.
Though nothing is resolved, they know that there's going to be a conversation to work toward the resolution.
That's good enough for them for now.
######
6:16 AM
After almost two hours of comforting rest, Yoongi and Harper's alarms go off for work. They're going off for about ten minutes before the adults actually get up, though.
They shower and get dressed for work before eating breakfast together. Harper takes her antibiotics and Yoongi glances at the bottle.
There's just one pill left now.
"I'm going to be home a little late today." Yoongi announces as he pours them cups of orange juice.
"Do you have extra work to catch up on today?"
"No, actually. I'm, uh, going to see a doctor."
Harper's head tilts as she looks at him. "I thought you just had an appointment. Was there something wrong?"
"No." He shakes his head. "No, I'm fine. I'm healthy. I'm going to check out a therapist."
"Oh..." Harper looks down at the counter as she pokes her fork through a sausage. "Is it because of something that I said?"
"Mm. Yes, and no. I think that I should go to see one in general. I deal with a lot day to day at work. But I also..." He sighs.
Harper looks up at him giving him her full attention.
"I just think it'd be a good idea for me." He says.
He doesn't know how to properly word it. He doesn't know how to say it without her becoming too worried for him. He wants to be as honest as possible so he was upfront about seeing a therapist.
"I think I'm letting my work leak into home and I'm not okay with that." He's as honest as he can be about the situation.
"I want to know better ways to manage or.. whatever they can suggest or help with. I don't want ever want to hear you cry that again. Especially knowing that it was because of me."
He pushes his food around on his plate and Harper watches him closely.
If she's being quite honest, this feels weird to hear him say. She's never known any man in her life to see a therapist. No man she's ever met would. Even though some of them really needed to or probably should have, they'd have never gone.
Especially not willingly.
The fact that Yoongi is willing to go and is actually going to go is foreign to her. She doesn't know what to say.
"I think that I'm going to start going weekly at first."
"Are you sure that won't be too much on you? Going every week, I mean? You already do so much."
"I think that I could fit it in. If I go on Wednesday mornings, I'll still have the majority of my day off. The sessions will only be an hour then I'll come right back home. We'll still have our Sunday family time, too."
"As long as you don't feel like it will be overworking yourself to go. Or more stress to make it there with all the work that you already do."
"It won't be. I'm going because I feel out of place right now. Not with you, but mentally in some spaces."
"I know you said it's not my fault but I feel like I prompted you to go." Harper admits. "I don't want you to think that I'm saying anything is wrong with you or that I think that there is. I would never say that and if anything I said alluded to that, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let my emotions get the better of me and I tend to do that a lot. I'm sorry."
"Hey, hey. You're okay. I know you didn't mean it like that. You're not wrong for expressing yourself. You're allowed to express your hurt if I say something that hurts you. It's our job after that to talk about it so we can address the situation. And it's my job after that to handle my part in the resolution."
"Then we're skipping a step, I think." Harper says.
"Mhm." Yoongi hums with a nod. "I didn't mean to offend you last night when I said we'd have options. I just know that's what you'd want to do."
"That's the thing though, Yoongi. I don't know." Harper admits. "Maybe initially, it would be my thought. But only because I'm scared." She says the last part quietly.
"Growing up, I used to tell my mom that she'd have to buy a bigger house because of how big I wanted my family to be. She'd need at least four rooms for all the grandchildren she'd have from me." She smiles softly.
"But after having Onyx and after everything with Jahlil, pregnancy scares me."
The thought of being so vulnerable again scares her. The thought of having so many possible ways that someone can hurt her is terrifying.
The thought of having to protect not one, but two innocent lives on top of her own is haunting. Sure, she'd do anything to escape but then what?
She'd be right back to square one.
Who wants to go through this twice? Nobody would want to go through this a first time and yet, she's had to.
"So... I guess the bigger question then is... would you want to have another baby?" Yoongi asks. "Not now, but would you want to in the future?"
"With you?" Harper's heart beats rapidly in her chest at the thought of being so honest. "I'd have as many as you want."
"Oh-.."
Her response flusters Yoongi to the point where he has to look away from her. He blinks a couple times as he licks his lips. His cheeks blush and he drums his fingers against the counter.
"Okay, but-.. Realistically, like-." He stammers as he mentally tries to fight the tightness forming in his pants.
He doesn't know why her saying that was so arousing for him. Maybe it's simply the fact that he knows why she's saying that.
She's in love with him. She trusts him.
God, that's one of the most arousing things about her. The fact that she allowed herself to love and be loved again by him, specifically.
He could just melt. He'll give her anything, everything.
"That is me being realistic." Harper replies.
Watching him squirm has got to be one of her favorite activities.
Director Min. Stoic, blunt, reserved, about his business. The man everybody assumed was alone due to his 'lack' of social connections at work.
Sought after for all of the mystery surrounding him.
Sputtering like a fool in front of Harper. She's never known the man that the hospital employees know. She's never known him to be a mystery. He's nothing but open to her.
And all of his emotions, if she doesn't hear it out of his mouth then he definitely makes sure that she feels it.
Soft kisses on her cheeks, fingers intertwining with hers. Small gestures of his undying adoration for her.
An undefeated ego boost, for sure.
"But you want to talk stipulations, right?" Harper says, deciding to rid him of his loving, lustful misery.
There's nothing they can do about it right now anyway.
"Yes." Yoongi responds, finding a way to clear his head.
"I want us to be stable." She states.
"That's a given."
"And I want to be married." Harper says.
Yoongi nods. He doesn't want to say that that's a 'given' because even though he knows that marriage is on their timeline, a baby could pop up at any point on it.
So clarifying that she doesn't want it to even be a possibility until they're married is good for the both of them.
"Okay. So stable and married." He reiterates Harper's words. "Until then, we'll avoid possible risk."
"I have another thing." Harper says.
"What is it?" Yoongi asks attentively.
"It has to be after the adoption goes through. I mean the wedding and everything."
Yoongi nods slowly and Harper elaborates.
"I want all of us to share our family name. I don't want anyone to have a different name and I don't want our baby to be left out." She explains.
"Of course." Yoongi understands immediately. "That's not up for question. Is that everything? You finish school, we buy a house, we get married."
"Yes.. that's everything." Harper smiles at him.
"Thank you for telling me." He grins back at her.
"Thank you for listening."
"I'll always listen to you."
"Mamaaaa!"
Onyx's cries come from down the hall and both of his parents speed walk down. They get to the end of the hall and turn into the nursery. Their son is sitting up in the crib, crying as he pulls himself up from the mattress.
His cheeks are tear stained and his eyes are all wet.
Harper scoops him up and holds him against her.
"What's wrong?" She asks, heart beating against her chest.
Onyx continues to cry as Yoongi looks for injury. He looks into the crib at Jewel whose just as scared looking as the adults. He doesn't seem panicked, just exceptionally nervous.
He jumps out of the crib and onto the floor. He figure eights around Harper's legs before reaching up to knead at her calves.
"He doesn't have any scratches or anything on him. I know Jewel wouldn't hurt him." Yoongi says as he pulls Onyx's pajama shirt up.
Onyx closes his eyes as he screams, putting his finger into his mouth. Harper's heart breaks hearing him shriek.
"Bear, what's wrong?" She's practically in distress herself. Along with Jewel pushing against her legs, she's flustered and completely lost.
"He's probably hungry." She concludes. "I don't think he just woke up screaming. Maybe he's been up for a while and we just didn't hear him."
They walk out of the room and Yoongi starts making him a bottle. He hands it to Harper after it's shaken up. She tries to put the nipple in Onyx's mouth but he screams louder and her eyes widen.
"Oh my God." She says as she puts the bottle down.
"What?" Yoongi looks over her shoulder. "Oh-.. wow."
Four small white buds have broken through the surface of their son's gums.
"I hadn't even thought about this."
"I didn't even notice they were growing in."
"How could I forget about his teeth?" Harper scolds herself. "He's 8 months. Why didn't we think of this?"
"I don't know. We've been so busy with everything else." Yoongi says as he stares at his son's mouth.
"Get the teether for him, please."
"Right, right. I'm sorry." Yoongi walks to the fridge and hands Onyx the teething ring.
He takes it but doesn't put it in his mouth. He just keeps crying.
"Oh, maybe that hurts too bad."
Knocking on the door makes both of them turn their heads.
"I'll get it." Yoongi walks to the front door and opens it. His parents stand there with worried looks on their faces.
"What's the matter? Why is he screaming like that?" Mrs. Min rushes her way into the apartment.
"He's got four teeth." Harper says as she walks over, meeting Mrs. Min in the living room.
"What? Four? All at once?" She looks at Onyx as he screams.
"Oh wow. Honey, go get those icicle things I bought, please." She instructs her husband.
He doesn't ask any questions and does as he's told.
"He won't use the teether?" She asks Harper.
"No. He won't put anything in his mouth."
"Aish." Mrs. Min says, exasperated. "When did this happen? I only noticed the two at the bottom but they hadn't broken through yet."
"That's what we said. We barely even noticed the bottom ones. I knew they'd be coming but we just hadn't paid enough attention to notice that they were already there. But they're bothering him so much today."
"It could be because he's a little late on getting the bottom ones. The tops ones are on time so maybe those triggered the bottom ones, somehow. I don't know how that works."
"I feel so bad. Mommy's so sorry, baby." Harper kisses the side of her son's head.
"Did he sleep well through the night?"
"Yeah. Yoongi and I were in here talking and then we just heard him start screaming. He won't take his bottle to eat either. So he's probably hungry and in pain."
"It's okay, Bear." Yoongi rubs Onyx's back. "Grandpa should be back any second with those little things."
"What are they?" Yoongi asks.
"They're small icicle things. I don't know how to describe them well. They're shaped pacifiers but they have small holes in them. You can put fruit or vegetable in them. Or after and freeze it for their teeth. I bought three of them."
"Oh, I have some partially frozen strawberries in the freezer that I was going to use to make smoothies." Harper suggests. "They should still be still soft enough for him to mash and get some flavor out."
"That'll be perfect." Mrs. Min tells her.
"Can I put a bottle nipple in the fridge for him, too? Should I do that?" Yoongi asks his mother.
"Yes. Because you want it to be cold on his gums but he should be able to eat. The warmth of the milk will be offset it for him.
Mr. Min comes back with the teethers and hands them to Yoongi. He grabs the strawberries from the fridge and puts a small one into the holder. He closes it back, smushing the fruit inside.
"Here you go, Bear."
Harper hands Onyx to him and he gently runs the pacifier against his gums. Onyx is intrigued by the cool fruity taste and his screams calm.
"Yeaah, there you go." Yoongi encourages as Onyx begins gnaws on it.
He smiles as Onyx stops crying and grabs his father's hand. He holds it as he chews eagerly on the pacifier. Harper laughs in relief as she watches them.
"What time is it?" Mr. Min suddenly asks. "What time do you guys have to be to work?"
Yoongi and Harper both look at the time on the stove.
"Now." They both say as they look at each other.
Yoongi hands their son to his mother and cleans his slobbery hand off. He and Harper put on their coats and shoes, kiss their son goodbye and head out the door.
"I saw this morning that Yeonjun called me yesterday afternoon." Harper says as they walk outside. "I didn't have my phone in my hand enough to notice it but I'm going to call him back while we have lunch together."
"Did he leave a voicemail?"
"Uuhh." Harper checks her voicemail box and nods. "Yes, he did actually."
"What'd he say?"
Harper taps the play button and they both listen in.
"Hey, Miss Taylor, good morning. It's Yeonjun Choi, your lawyer. I'm sure you already know that, you've got my number. I'm calling because I'm on my way to my office right now but I've got some information about Jahlil that you really need to hear. It's urgent. He's been arrested but I'd like to discuss the details with you further. Please me a call when you get the chance. Thank you."
Harper and Yoongi's head both snap up to look at each other.
"Arrested?"
A|N
#Oop👀 What y'all think gonna happen next?
#I hope that everyone understands where Harper is coming from and what's going on with Yoongi. I kind of wanted to touch on the idea or fact that a lot of medical professionals become desensitized to some emotional aspects of their personal lives because of the weight of their professions. Even therapists have therapists
#Sometimes I feel that explaining where I'm going with these things takes away from the angst of the plot line. But I also don't like being misunderstood with my writing or the characters being poorly judged or disliked because the readers don't really understand. None of my characters are inherently perfect and that will always be a big premise of my works :)