Valerie's POV
I can't breathe.
There is a huge lump stuck in my throat, stopping me from breathing properly. I try to open my mouth and take in as much breath as I can and it works.
Finally, I exhale, my nose stiff and cold.
My breathing isn't steady. It is beating wildly and heavily within my rib cage in rage. My head is pounding so hard and my eyes brim with tears.
I am not thinking about Ryan now. I am thinking about Fred. I am thinking about how Fred and I got separated and how I ended up being a wife to Ryan who is now obviously cheating on me with his first love.
Fred and I got separated because he cheated on me with my best friend and the same thing is happening again but this time with a man I vowed to love months ago even though I didn't mean to keep to the vow.
I shouldn't have fallen head over heels for him but how can I not when he always acts so sweet and tells me how much he loves me?
This isn't part of the plan but it happened anyway. Obviously, he didn't love me as much as I thought he did. He still wants her. It was Celina. He lied to me that he has no feelings for her anymore but he still does.
She is a fucking hot blonde, how can he not be in love with her still?
I am so stupid not to have known this. His Mother approves of her. He still likes her.
He sent me out of his room just to accommodate her. I thought he was joking when he asked me out but when he didn't call me back, I knew he wasn't joking. I thought his pride was getting in the way which was why he refused to call me back.
I couldn't ignore him. I couldn't stop thinking about him and his mother. I couldn't stop worrying about their health and safety and that made me go there again.
This is devastating.
My heart is broken.
I find myself breathing harder with each passing second, making my anger get heightened.
I sit up in bed and place my head in between my thighs. I shouldn't be affected by this. I shouldn't let him get to me.
I deserve this, don't I? Is this why he is doing this to me? Was it because I was harsh to him right from the start? Has he been planning to take his revenge on me all this while?
With my head spinning, I roll back onto the bed. Just then, a knock comes on the door.
I do not respond to the knock because I am so sure it is mom. I told her on my way up that I needed to be alone. I told her that so she wouldn't disturb me but I know she won't listen. Her curiosity won't let her be and she is here to interrogate me to know what happened between Ryan and me.
The knock persists until I become irritated and grab a pillow to bury my face in the bed and to stop me from hearing the annoying sound of the door.
Before then, another loud knock comes and a male voice.
A familiar one.
Ryan?
I find myself sitting upright again with the pillow in my right hand and my heart thumping wildly in my rib cage.
Ryan came all the way here this night?
"Val, please open the door", I hear him say loudly.
Did he get discharged already? Why is he here? To tell me that what I saw was nothing? To tell me that there is nothing between him and Celina just like he has been claiming, yet he sent me out and let her stay.
That bitch was feeding him.
"Val…", he pauses, as if thinking of the right word to say to me so I can allow him in.
A rush of adrenaline spines down and I find myself tossing the pillow away and walking to the door. I throw it open to see him talking in low tones with my Mother.
The sound of the door makes them stop and they both turn to look at me.
I wanted to ask him to leave me alone. I wanted to tell him to go back to his sweet Celina and forget about me but the fact that my mom is here won't make me say a word.
I don't intend to let her know what is going on between us. She has known enough.
"I will excuse you two", she mutters with a half smile at me before turning on her heels back to the stairwell.
With arms akimbo, I let my gaze shift back to the man before me. He is wearing one of his usual home shirts and trousers and I wonder why he left the hospital in the first place.
The doctor wouldn't have discharged him so late.
"Hey", he tries to touch me as he takes a step towards me. Flinching in irritation, I step back, making his hands drop and a look of disappointment flash across his expression. "Babe, it's not what you think."
I want to scream.
But I can not.
Mother might still be close by, trying to see if she can eavesdrop on our conversation.
I close my eyes to calm my nerves and stop myself from acting rashly.
"Val."
"You sent me out of your room, remember?" I find myself saying in a low tone. "What does that say, Ryan? You don't know that it means a lot? It means you don't want to ever see me again because I am annoying. It means you hate me. It means a lot. But you let her stay. You let her sit beside you. You let her feed you, yet you want to claim there is absolutely nothing between you two?"
I raise a suspicious brow at him as he sighs, raking his right hand into his hair while the other hand stays inside his pocket.
His posture annoys the shit out of me. I don't want to see him at the moment. Seeing him isn't doing any good in calming me down.
"It. Is. Not. What. You. Think!" he says between gritted teeth, as he faces me squarely. "There is nothing between us."
I nod, my arms folded now. "I see."
Silence falls between us.
He is breathing heavily while mine is a bit calm now.
"What were you doing with Fred too?" he questions, jerking me back to life as I frown lightly, trying to figure out what he means.
He notices my confusion. "You were with Fred, weren't you? What were you discussing with him? When did you two become friends again?"
I can't help the snort that comes out of my mouth.
Really?
So this is it. He came here for this.
"I see your informant must have told you something new", I reply nonchalantly. There is absolutely nothing there for me to deny. He can believe whatever he wants to. "Did she tell you that so you could make her stay?"
I am hurt beyond measure. He isn't making any effort to make me feel better.
He is a jerk.
"This isn't about Celina, Val. Just answer the damn question!"
"Ryan", I am finding it hard to take it in now. "If you raise your voice at me one more time, I am going to throw you out…"
"Really?" he looks mad. "The same way I threw you out a few days ago? This is about taking revenge for every single thing I did to you, right? I should have known", he spurns around before stopping right in front of me, staring down at his feet.
"Were you with Fred or not?" he asks again, staring back at one with intense eyes that seem like they could read through me to get the answer.
I find this amusing.
He is not just here to clear up the misunderstanding about how I found him and his first love in a compromising position but also here to know if I did the same thing he was doing.
"Why are you bothered about that?"
"What?!" he exclaims in utter disbelief at my question. "Why am I bothered? You are my…"
"We are done, aren't we?" I interrupt him from going further because I know what he is about to say next. "Aren't we, Ryan? If we aren't, then you wouldn't have thrown me out the way you did."
His jaws drop open slowly. He blinks several times before folding his arms around his bosom, his mouth still slightly open in amazement.
He thinks so badly of me. He doesn't trust me. How then can this work?
He nods.
I am thinking he will keep on arguing about Celina and Fred and also try to justify his actions for throwing me out but he isn't.
A part of me is glad that we are done with this conversation and a part is disappointed.
"I shouldn't have come, then", he mentions, more to himself as he keeps nodding like a lizard. He gazes up at me. "I shouldn't have come here. Forgive me, will you?"
With that said, he turns back and begins to go down the same way my Mother took a few minutes ago without turning back to give me a last look or any apology for his misbehavior.
****
Finally, an update!
I'm so sorry this is coming late. We are on holiday now, so I have time to write and round up this book.
Bear with me and ENJOY!
MEANWHILE, don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT❤️