Red.
I was seeing nothing but red.
My eyes welled up with hot tears, spilling down my cheeks like burning wax confronting delicate skin.
It hurt.
The familiar sensation once again invaded my throat. Making it hard to gulp down – so tight and uncomfortable.
I’ve never been so embarrassed. I’ve never been so irate. I’ve never hated a human being so much than I do now.
I raised my hand up to his face and with all my might, power, and the little bit of energy I had left, I hit him. I yelped in surprise at what I had just done. Tears now rolling down one after another playing follow the leader down my face. I backed away slowly noticing the hurt and confusion expression he had on. With weak legs I began to run. The scene soon disappeared from behind me, traveling wherever my tired feet could take me.
Hopefully far from here.
ray.
My cheek burned red. Was it red because I had just gotten smacked or was it because I had just kissed Melanie, thinking it was what she wanted only to find out it wasn’t?
I’m confused. So confused it’s starting to piss me off. Kicking the sand, I turned around and stormed off.
Running the distance between us, Craig rushed over to me. “What the hell Ray?”
I put my hand up, stopping whatever he was about to say. “Not in the mood bro.” I continued walking to my destination, paying no mind to him. He followed beside me anyway.
“You kissed her. We all seen it man. Hailey is over there upset -“
“I don’t give a fuck about Hailey, Craig. And right now I don’t give a fuck about what you have to say to me so please do us both a favor and get lost.”
Craig stopped dead in his tracks. “I think you’ve already done that for me. Who are you now?” He scratched his chin, pretending to think. “Oh I know! A self-centered jerk with no friends. So when you’re out of this funk, don’t come back to me thinking we’re all buddy buddy because me?” He put air quotations above his head. “I don’t give a fuck about what you have to say.” Before walking off he pushed me, sending me stumbling. “Bro.”
Then he was gone.
I began yelling over in his direction. “I don’t need you Craig. You weren’t shit anyway! You smelled like shit nigga!”
That was weak.
Disappointed, annoyed and upset, I decided to just go home.
After taking a long shower, thinking about everything that had happened yesterday and crying just a bit (Just kidding, real G’s never cry). I had managed to sleep well.
(Just kidding again). Sleep was horrid.
Wrestling the sheets, I attempted to untangle my body. I eventually found my arm and checked my watch.
8:30.
Damn. Twenty five minutes late for first period. How peachy.
Not giving a care I began to take my time doing what I needed to do and soon enough I was ready to go.
I grabbed my bag, slung it over my shoulder and headed towards the front door. “You might as well not go to school Ray. All the time you just took to throw on a t-shirt and some pants.” My mother rambled as she sprinted around the house trying to find her keys.
“Stop the hate. It’s not kind. I know haters come naturally but-“
She smiled, shoving me out the doorway. “Bye Ray. Have a nice day baby.”
Nice? Ha. That was almost a knee slapper.
Walking away from my house I noticed something from the corner of my eye. Right on Melanie’s lawn was a rose bush that once was full of bright pink roses but was now occupied by only a few. It was strange considering the fact that Melanie took good care of those roses since forever and it was always full of life no matter what season. Taking note of the sight, I continued on to school.
melanie.
Stampedes of animal like students poured out of each classroom as the lunch bell echoed throughout the halls.
Scavengers.
I hadn’t really had an appetite in days so I decided to wander the school and say my hellos. First I stopped in the health center so say hi to Nurse Kathy. I knocked on the door three times and patiently waited for a response. Right before I turned to leave, the door opened.
“Melanie, how good it is to see you!”
I weakly smiled and waved to her. “Hey Kathy.”
She grabbed my arm and pulled me inside her office. “How is everything dear? You feeling okay lately?”
Can you ask one question at a time please? “Everything is fine and I’m alright.” I lied, leaning against the sink counter.
I watched as Kathy rolled her rollie chair over and took a seat in it. “Mhmmm. So how’s dad?”
“He’s still crazy old dad.”
“He still paints right?”
This question made me think back to the day where I found all of his paintings in the Lopez’s garbage. All that hard work just to be thrown away. Making me remember how disgusted I was with Ray and how I’d never forgive him no matter what.
I began impatiently tapping my foot.
“Melanie?”
I snapped my head over to Kathy remembering she asked me a question. “Oh yeah, he still paints.”
She nodded her head in approval. “Good, that’s real good. Could you perhaps let him know that the hospital is donating brand spanking new wheelchairs just in case he’s looking for a new one?”
I reached for the door and stepped out the office. “I’ll let him know.” I closed the door before she could say anything else.
I’m sick and tired of these people constantly trying to help me and my dad out. We’re fine. The help is greatly appreciated but we don’t need it. They act as if they never seen a paralyzed man before. We’re as capable of doing anything and everything on our own as every other family in this school.
Interrupting my thoughts, a buff Trey was passing by me with a cloud of groupies around him. I rolled my eyes at the squealing and giggling that came with them. Behind the group was Matthew Lee, the one who took me on the basket boy date.
“Matthew! Hey!” I skipped toward him with excitement.
With a book full of hands he managed to quickly wave. “Can I get a hand?” I rushed over to grab a few textbooks out of his hands.
Trey turned around, glancing back at us. “Lee, put some pep in your step. I aint paying ya to meet and greet.” I looked over to a nodding Matthew. “Yes sir.” He saluted.
There must have been a confused look on my face because Matthew sighed, “Trey is paying me to tutor him during lunch now.”
Makes sense since Matthew was one of the smartest boys in school.
“How is he paying you when he can’t even count to 1?” I joked. We both laughed at my smart comment.
We finally came to the end of the hallway where the library was located. He looked down at his shoes then back up at me. “I guess I’ll see you around then?”
I smiled brightly at that idea. “Yeah, you will.”
I handed him the textbooks I possessed and walked back to third period as the ending lunch bell rung.
ray.
Jacob’s phone started to ring. He picked it up and looked at the caller I.D.
“Babes.”
I rolled my eyes, quietly swearing under my breath. They stay up each other’s asses.
Serious definition of two peas in a pod. More like two dicks in one hole.
One word:
Whipped.
He quickly got up out of his seat. “Gotta go bro. Keep your head up though.”
“Thanks Jacob. Appreciate it man.” I dapped him up as Taylor walked through the library doors.
She put her hands on her hips, impatiently waiting. “Jacob! Hurry up!”
I noticed movements behind her.
Wait.
Taylor shifted to the side.
I wriggled my head to the other side trying to get a glance at who was behind her. She shifted to the other side.
I closed my eyes, trying to keep my anger within. Clearing my throat, I propped myself up a bit moving my head around her completely.
Finally.
She stepped right in front of my view.
I began screaming. “BITCH MOVE! MOOOOOOOOOOOOO. MOOOOOOOOOOOOO. DAMN. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE.”
I threw my book at the ground.
“DAMN TAYLOR! CANT SEE SHIT! YOU AINT NO GOD DAMN WINDOW. GETCHO TAKIS EATING ASS NIGGA AND BE OUT. SHIT! IT AINT THAT HARD. JUST MOVE.”
It became dead silent in the library. I felt eyes burning through my soul. I looked around me and sure enough everyone was staring right at me. There was a kid with a receding hairline next to me.
I turned my head to him. “May I help you Stevie Wonder?”
Fuck bro.
Right on cue the bell rung. I gathered my stuff and hurried toward the door. In the doorway stood a glowing Melanie and the notorious bookworm, Matthew Lee.
Were they just..
Is that why Melanie..
Does she like Matthew?
I carefully watched as they departed their ways.
As soon as he was alone, I shoved him into a corner.
“We need to talk.”
And the bell rang.
--------------------------------------------------
So!
It's been almost a full year since I last posted. LMFAO. I shouldn't have laughed but I'm just laughing at my laziness. THANK YOU ALL FOR MOTIVATING ME TO WRITE MORE. I honestly didn't know when the next time I would write would be but thanks to the amazing love and support of you all I got it done. I also thought I'd surprise you. I'm sorry if it's not up to expectation. I stayed home due to a bad cold and wrote nonstop for 10 hours straight. I was tired. But I promise it will get even better. Just continue to be flexible with me and pray for me. Thanks again guys. <3
- Taylor
XO
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