LOKI
"There you are." I said to Freyja as I turned a corner and almost ran into her. "I was looking for you."
She gave me a tired nod. "Yes, Eira told me."
I took careful note of her appearance. There were noticeable, dark circles under her eye and the usual enthusiasm she had in her gait had vanished.
"You look terrible." I told her.
She laughed dryly. "You know, you actually aren't the first person to tell me that today."
I glanced briefly up and down the hallway, checking to assure it was empty before I proceeded. "How are you holding up?"
"I'm... not sure." She said. "I am just trying to ignore it. I'm ready to go to Jotenheim. I need to see what a Frost Giant looks like up close and personal."
My stomach sank. I had not been looking forward to this. Of course, it had to happen eventually. But part of me was worried that if Freyja saw me for what I really was, she would treat me differently. Like my father treated me differently.
Freyja isn't like Odin. I reminded myself firmly. She won't be like him.
"Alright." I nodded once and looked down the hallway again. "Let's find somewhere... I don't want to say private, but somewhere that we won't have to worry about someone seeing a Frost Giant loose in the mountain and starting a panic."
"That is probably smart." She turned and started down the hall. "Follow me."
I fell into step beside her as she walked through the corridor. We didn't speak and we didn't pass anyone, but we were both alright with that. Eventually we arrived at an empty room with no apparent purpose. It was just a stone room.
"No one should come in here," She decided, nudging the door open. "And if they do, I'll explain the situation to them. It will be fine."
My heart started to beat a little faster as she shut the door and lit a nearby torch on the wall. I shifted uncomfortably, and it didn't fall beneath her notice. "Are you alright?"
"Freyja, I need you to promise me something." I said before I could stop myself. "Promise me that when you see me as a Frost Giant, you won't look at me differently. Promise me that you won't treat me like a..." My voice cracked, and I internally scolded myself. "Like a monster."
"Listen to me, Loki." She stepped toward me and made me look her in the eyes. "I swear upon all I hold dear in this world that I will never look at you and see a monster."
This brought a smile to my face. "Thank you. I know you won't, I just needed to hear it. I think it's worth noting, I have never actually willingly shown someone myself as a Frost Giant."
"Well, you'll be doing it a lot in these next few weeks." She warned. "You should try and get used to it."
I chuckled dryly. "I suppose you're right. Here goes nothing."
My eyes drifted shut and I welcomed the darkness behind my eyelids. I tried to think about the first time I realized I wasn't an Asgardian. Thor had dragged me, Lady Sif and The Warriors Three on a venture to Jotenheim. During the battle that happened there, one of the Frost Giants closed an icy cold hand around my arm. Instead of getting severe frost bite, cobalt blue ate its way across my skin.
That was the first time I realized that maybe I wasn't who I thought I was.
I dug inside myself for the cold winter storm that always raged in my soul, contained and unnoticed. For years it was locked away, and even after the incident on Jotenheim it only came out for seconds at a time.
Not now though. For the first time in my life, I set the monster free.
I felt the familiar tingle of magic ripple across my skin, and I heard Freyja gasp.
My eyes flew open and I quickly conjured a mirror. I could hardly recognize the person in front of me.
All of my skin had turned a chilly blue color, darker under my eyes and on my knuckles. Lighter designs marked my forehead and face, the skin protruding slightly. My eyes had abandoned their striking green shade and had become a startlingly bright red, like spilled blood.
I turned back to Freyja, waiting to see the disgust and horror on her face. But it wasn't there. Instead she just looked fascinated.
"You're going to hate me," She said. "But I have to say it. Are you sad Loki? Why so blue?"
A knot of anxiety that I hadn't realized formed between my shoulder blades unwound itself, and my shoulders slumped with relief. She doesn't hate me.
"That was a horrible pun." I told her. "But now you can see a Frost Giant up close without needing to stab it first." My brow furrowed. "Wait, you're not going to stab me, right?"
"I don't know," She replied with a mischievous smirk. "I haven't decided yet."
She began to pace circles around me, studying me at every angle. I turned my head as far as I could to follow her, losing sight of her when she was directly behind me.
"Are you blue from head to toe?"
"Yes," I answered. "But as far as I know the patterns on the face are on the face only."
"What do you mean as far as you know?"
"I don't exactly spend my time studying Joten anatomy." I protested.
She nodded. "Do female Frost Giants look too different from males?"
I opened my mouth to give her an answer, but I realized I didn't have one. "I have no idea," I said finally. "I've never seen a female Frost Giant."
"Let's hope that doesn't become a problem later." I could hear the concern in her voice. She stopped in front of me and peered up at my face. "Are the face patterns the same for every other Giant?"
"I believe so."
She leaned a breath closer and squinted to see the patterns in the dim light. She raised her hand for a moment then hesitated. She scanned my eyes as if she could see my soul through them. "May I?"
I forced myself to breathe. "You may."
Her hand traveled the rest of the way up to my face, and with a touch as gentle and light as a feather, she began tracing her finger along the patterns of my face.
A fluttery feeling built in my stomach as her hand traveled across my forehead. The skin she touched was left in flames, warmth surging through me.
I was worried that if I spoke, I would shatter this moment like a piece of glass. Her index finger drifted down beside my eyebrow and along the line that ran over my cheekbone, parallel to my nose.
And there it was again.
The same tension that had been in the air the night of the dance returned full force. It buzzed and hummed in the air, making the entire room burn hotter than Muspelheim. Freyja's gradual movement faltered for a moment. She felt it too.
I clasped my hands behind my back to hide the slight tremble of some unnameable emotion. Her finger slid down my cheek and wound its way to my chin, gingerly grazing the corner of my lip as it went. I barely managed to fight back a smile.
My breath caught in my throat as her index finger ran to the point of my chin and slid off. She dropped her hand to her side and stepped back. Just like that, the moment passed.
"I think I can turn into a Frost Giant." She decided. She cleared her throat and turned to the mirror. The tension broke, and with it gone I was left feeling... hollow? Like I was on the cusp of something amazing but I had missed my chance.
She briefly closed her eyes as she stood before the mirror, and her reflection mimicked the gesture. Her hands clenched into fists at her side and I could hear the gritting of her teeth.
This is possibly the most complicated change she has had to make. I thought, thinking of the intricate details on my face. I wonder if she...
My thought was cut short by a wave of red light. As it passed over Freyja's slender body, it ate away at the pale skin and instead left it the color of a late evening sky.
Freyja had transformed into a Frost Giantess.
"Hey Freyja," I began with a smirk as she studied her reflection. "Why so blue?"
She turned and shot me a glare with her now scarlet eyes. "You're the worst."
"I know." My smirk morphed into a wide grin. "I keep things interesting."
"That you do."
She changed back to herself and stepped toward the door. "We should get ready to leave."
"I guess you're right." I returned to my Asgardian appearance. "What are you wearing to Jotenheim?"
Her eyebrow raised a fraction of an inch. "The same thing I always wear."
"Don't be ridiculous," I scoffed. "You'll freeze to death in the first hour. Don't you have furs or something to keep you warm?"
"We aren't in the palace, Loki." She sounded irked. "We don't have expensive things like that just lying around."
I had never really considered furs expensive, but I decided against bringing this up. I sighed. "We can figure this out later. We need to pack whatever we may need."
"I'll raid the cafeteria." She offered, not waiting for a response before taking off down the hallway.
That left me alone to pack the few personal belongings I had. I made my way to my room and quietly shut the door. It was still incredibly early, and mostly everyone else was still asleep.
Seeing how I had been so rudely and abruptly kidnapped, I didn't have that many things to being with me to Jotenheim. I had a pair of daggers, a few books, a hair comb and a green ribbon to tie it out of my face should the need present itself. Someone had left a satchel on my bed and I had a few outfits under my concealment spell, but that was it.
When I say "a few outfits", it needs to be taken into consideration that I was raised as royalty. Though my wardrobe wasn't even a fraction of the size of my mothers, it was still quite an impressive display of clothing.
However, despite the quantity, I didn't have any fur items that would keep Freyja and I warm during an extended stay in northern Jotenheim.
This may be problematic. I thought. I began loading my possessions into the satchel (a task that took maybe a minute at most) then threw the bag over my shoulder.
I considered glamouring myself and Freyja warmer clothing, her especially. Cold had never really bothered me with my Frost Giant blood, but I could only imagine how cold an extended stay in Jotenheim would be for a regular Asgardian.
"Loki, are you ready?" I heard Freyja call from outside my door.
"Yes," I answered. I heaved a sigh and took one last look around my room. Ever since I fell off the bifrost bridge years and years ago, I had never truly had a space that felt like home until coming to The Mountain Hold. I would miss it here. "I'm coming." I finished softly.
She was waiting for me, leaning against the stone wall with a matching satchel slung over her shoulder. She had exchanged her usual maroon jacket for a heavy cloak that would in theory keep her warmer but would be useless against the cold claws of Jotenheim's weather.
"No," I said simply. With a wave of my hand, she was engulfed by green light and her clothes morphed and changed before my eyes.
She sighed. "You really do need to teach me how to do that."
I studied my handiwork. Her cloak was now lined with black fur all the way from the hem to the hood. Her regular shirt and trousers had been replaced by heavy, black, wool alternatives. It would still feel chilly, but she wouldn't be quite as cold.
Perhaps expecting a thank you was ambitious, but I definitely didn't expect her to cry out in alarm. "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BOOTS?"
"I'M MAKING IT SO YOUR FEET DON'T FREEZE OFF!" I yelled back. I thought the change looked nice. There was fur on the inside and the laces had a metallic gleam to them.
For the life of me I couldn't tell you why she was so attached to her shoes. "Change them back!"
"I will change them back when we get there, alright?" I changed my own clothing to match hers, but with more green and gold on it. "Get over it."
"You're the worst." She declared for the second time this morning.
I shrugged. "As you have previously mentioned."
"That just makes it twice as true." She retorted, evidently still annoyed by the transformation of her beloved boots. "We should get going."
"Where are they sending us off?" I asked as she started off down the hallway, vaguely in the direction of the entry hall.
She didn't turn around. "The same room with the tesseract where we came back from Midgard."
"Fair enough." I watched her back as she walked in front of me. Her hair was elegant, but it was bound up in a braid.
"It is worth noting," I began, very much in a mood to push her buttons. "I have never seen a Frost Giant with her hair tied back."
Granted, I had never seen a Frost Giant with hair other than myself. Or a female Frost Giant. This may be problematic.
"I am genuinely going to slap you." She said seriously. However, she did reach back and roughly tear out her hair ribbon, allowing the braid to slowly unravel itself. "There, happy?"
"Incredibly."
At that moment a small blur burst out of a room in front of us and came barreling directly toward Freyja.
It slammed into her at full speed and sent both of them tumbling to the floor. "I don't want you to leave." Sigurd said at an unreasonable volume.
"Aw, Sigurd." Freyja slowly sat up and patted him on the shoulder. "I have to go. We need to kill Odin, so we need weapons."
"I know," He said. I realized from his tone that the boy was on the verge of tears. "I'm going to miss you though."
"You'll see me when we get back." She assured. "I promise."
Though her word's didn't quite put him at ease, they calmed him enough for him to wipe away his tears. "I know. Be safe," He turned his small head so he was looking right at me. "Both of you."
"We will be." I told him, even though I didn't know whether or not there was such a thing as safety in the land of giants.
"See? There is nothing to worry about." She said as she stood to her feet. "Now go climb back in bed and try to get some sleep."
He nodded obediently and turned to go, but he only made it two steps before he paused. Then, as if it were the last hug he would ever give her, he turned and threw his arms around her waist one last time.
"Hurry back." He said. Freyja chuckled and returned his embrace full force.
"I'll be back before you know it."
Sigurd disentangled himself from the hug and gave me an expectant look. His eyes said it all. For a moment, I weighed my options, but I didn't take long. I would never admit it, but maybe I had developed a bit of a soft spot for the boy.
I sighed dramatically and shook my head. Then, to Sigurd's delight, I dropped to one knee so I was at eye level with him. "Fine, you win."
His eyes seemed to light up like a bonfire, and with all of his childish energy behind him he launched himself into me and threw his arms around my neck. I could feel his tiny body, the steady thump of his heart, the air entering and leaving his lungs. I didn't try to fight it. I caved, and I hugged him back.
"Thank you," He whispered, his voice muffled as he buried his face in my shoulder. "For everything."
The weight of his words could've crushed the mountain flat, and the thousands of meanings they could hold reverberated through my soul. Thank you for everything. For helping us, for protecting me, for being a friend. Maybe some of all of them.
"I would do it all again." I responded, knowing deep in my heart that it was true.
Sigurd nodded. "I know you would." He fell silent for a heartbeat. "And Loki?"
"Yes?"
His voice dropped low enough so that only I could hear him and he nodded at Freyja. "Take care of her."
I searched for something to say, but I found myself stuck in a rare state of speechlessness as he pulled away, turned on his heel and skipped back in the direction of his bedroom.
What is that supposed to mean?
"Hey Loki," Freyja sidled up beside me with a mischievous smirk on her face. "You're blushing."
I snapped out of my spell of silence and shot her a glare. "I am not."
"Yes you are!" She sang in a high pitched voice as she nudged me just hard enough to make me stumble sideways a few steps.
"Let's just get going, alright?" I didn't wait for her answer, instead opting to continue my trek down the empty stone corridors.
She fell into step beside me, and I could tell by the cheery swing in her arms that she felt like teasing me, but to my relief she kept her mouth shut.
By the time we reached the room where the tesseract was wired up to the machine, the small send off party had already assembled. It wasn't anyone extraneous, only Eira, Jari, two other council members and surprisingly Calder.
"Are you two ready?" Eira asked, her milky white eyes pinned on the tesseract. She looked just like she normally did, and didn't seem to be acting any differently. It unnerved me to think that she was slowly pouring her energy into shielding The Mountain Hold and all the revolutionaries. The energy alone it would've taken was easily enough to kill most. Perhaps the old woman was tougher than she seemed.
Freyja strode over to her. "I'm ready. We'll be dropped off in Laufey's old palace, right?"
"Near it, not in it." Jari corrected. "But yes."
Next to him, Calder chuckled. "I don't think I have ever seen you wearing a different pair of shoes than your boots."
"Oh, she didn't put those on willingly." I interjected nonchalantly, studying my immaculate fingernails as if I didn't find it amusing.
Eira scowled, finally turning her head toward me. "No, I can imagine not, but it will keep her feet from freezing off."
"That's precisely what I said!" I gestured at Eira as if she was all the evidence I needed.
"Enough about my boots." Freyja rolled her eyes dramatically. "When will the portal be open?"
"As soon as you're ready to leave." Jari promised. "I recommend you say your goodbyes. You will be gone awhile."
None of these people really knew me, nor I them, so other than Sigurd I didn't feel compelled to say goodbye to anyone. Maybe Arvid, but he was absent from the gathering, something I found somewhat concerning.
Freyja, however, did have some goodbyes to say.
"Jari," She strode right up and offered the man a firm hand shake. He accepted it, even going as far as to clasp her hand with both of his.
"Be safe, Freyja." He said solemnly. "Get those weapons."
"I will."
As this was happening, Eira stood to her feet. When Freyja turned to face her, she placed a gnarled hand on the younger woman's shoulder and smiled. "Måtte styrke være med deg, Freyja."
May strength be with you.
"Thank you, Eira." Freyja clasped the woman's elbow. "We'll be back soon. Odin will be dethroned before we know it."
A brief look of determination passed over Eira's wrinkled features. "And vengeance will be ours."
I glanced at the only person remaining in the room, Calder, who stood awkwardly off to the side. Freyja swiveled her head so that she was looking at him.
He caught her eye, and gave her a single, curt nod, which she returned. Not a word was uttered but they just said everything they needed to say.
"Alright, let's get this over with." She strode up beside me and shape shifted into her Frost Giant form. I followed suit, dropping the illusion I always kept up. The energy drained out of me, my skin turned blue and my eyes turned scarlet.
I gave a thumbs up to Jari, who began punching a series of buttons on the machine. I had no idea how it operated. When I was on Midgard during the invasion, that was Eric Selvig's job, not mine. The large contraption began to hum, starting as a deep, nearly imperceptible vibration then grew to a sound comparable to a car engine.
On cue, the machine rotated sideways and a blinding ray of blue light shot out and struck the wall, seeming to make the mountain tremble from the sheer power locked inside the tiny box.
The light condensed, making a dark blue void form on the wall. The portal.
Beside me, Freyja stiffened. Every muscle in her back tightened at once, and her fingers curled into fists.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" I leaned over and whispered in her ear.
Her voice was hardly more than a breath of air. "No."
I looked into her gaze and I saw terror. Fear. Memories. The lives of her brother and father being claimed by Frost Giants. Slaughtering an army of rogues in their name. Now she was going to have to live among them, as one of them. As their queen.
"Don't worry," I murmured, gently reaching out and taking her hand in mine. I could feel the muscles in her hand and arm relaxing as she unfurled her fingers and twined them with my own. I could feel the warmth of her skin on mine, and for the first time in a long while I got a batch of butterflies in my stomach. "I'll be right by your side the entire time."
"Really?" She raised an eyebrow and took a half a step closer to me.
I smiled and gave her hand a squeeze. "Always."
And it was like that, hand in hand, that we stepped through the portal and into the cold embrace of Jotenheim.