author's note:
sorry this chapter is super late, i've been really busy for a bit, i literally just finished my exam lol. i was about to work on a chapter but then realized that i had already made a chapter, i just forgot about it before i went on my break— but anyway! i'm back from my break, and my exams are over, and back to writing chapters for you guys :]
Man, everything felt like it was going great. It actually had been for a while now. But even though it's been quiet sometime since the incident had passed, Izuku couldn't tear his mind away from thinking of that day when the two talked in the nurse's office. Something just felt off. The words spoken felt, a little too real and heartfelt to say.
Ah, but that's probably his mind gaslighting him into thinking Katsuki had actually meant those words that day.
But really, he didn't think his mind gaslighting him would lead to sleepless nights, much like tonight. Right now, actually.
He tossed and turned. He tried sleeping on his left, then right, on his back, stomach, upside down, in a crouching position, hugging pillows —the pillow hugging worked better since he imagined the blond in his arms, but that still wasn't good enough— , trying to sleep while sitting up, counting sheep, everything! But not a single one but him to sleep for more than 10-20 minutes. It annoyed him, bothered him, how he'd fall into a dream with the blond in it, and as soon as things were getting good, he'd wake up.
This was really the worse crush he's ever had.
"1 kiss. 2 kisses. 3 kisses. 4 kisses." Izuku mumbled under his breath, trying to imagine himself kissing Katsuki's cheek. At least this was better than counting sheep. But as he counted, he wondered what it would actually feel like. To have his lips touch his delicate looking cheeks, his perfect face. Would it be warm? Oh, no shit Izuku. Of course it would be warm. We're warm blooded. Hmm, soft, then? Would it be soft?
His lips look soft.
How would his lips feel? So pink and coral-y like... he wanted to feel them.
That's when he slapped his cheeks, both at the same time. "No, Izuku! What are you thinking!? You can't think of Kacchan like that! Who knows what it might ruin..." he scolded himself. But to be honest, should've said this like- a chapter ago cause he literally told him that he loved him already. Anyway,
He didn't want that. No. If Izuku were to confess —which they kinda did but both of them are too stupid to notice—, and Katsuki didn't like him that way, therefore ruining their friendship, that ruin Izuku. He valued this friendship, a lot. And he didn't wanna lose that, even if it hasn't even been a year since they met. There was just something about this guy... he didn't wanna lose him. He was special. This was precious. Too precious to lose over just a few feelings.
It was just a crush, that's all.
But that's the problem.
It wasn't just a crush.
And Izuku knew that.
If you loved a person, you wouldn't have a crush on them. It's something more than a crush. Izuku had way passed the crush level. Hell, he was even ready to say it to his face! Just his reaction, his reaction was what terrified him. Probably enough to make him shit his pants. Okay, no, probably not that much.
That's what made it so hard. It was just three words. Three. Basic. Words. Everyone says those words in their day to day lives, but he has to say them together, to the person he liked. No, loved. To the person he loved.
He knew the blond said he was gay, but his tone sounded as if he himself didn't like the idea of love. Maybe he just doesn't wanna fall in love right now. Yeah, that's a possibility. He wondered if he'd ever see this guy after graduation. Like, when they go different paths, would they still have a chance to meet? To talk? To spend time with like they were now?
Gosh, what was this guy doing? He needs to sleep, dammit. He can't go thinking bout' this blond the whole night. He slowly found himself sitting up from the comfort of his bed. He needs to wake up early tomorrow, he was to go jogging.
Another 10 minutes past, and Izuku decided that he was done. Yes, done. He pressed his feet against the cold floor as he got up, stretching a little. He had a test tomorrow, too. Might as well study for that, making this time useful, y'know?
Izuku wiped the drool off the side of his lip, groaning a little as he sat up straight. He had fallen asleep probably an hour or two ago from exhaustion tiredness. He fell asleep studying for this test he had today. He rubbed one of his eyes, wondering what time it wa—
Oh.
He missed jogging.
The jogging ended like- 20 minutes ago.
He mentally scolded himself for five minutes straight. He didn't even have time to go apologize or anything, he had to rush to get ready for the rest of the day, for school. But the whole time he was, he couldn't help but think of how it would be with him and Katsuki. It might've not seemed like much of a big deal to anyone. But to Izuku, it was.
Kacchan was probably waiting the whole time. He told himself, while on a quick 10 minute shower.
He would've been annoyed. He frowned, drying himself, and grabbing his uniform to wear.
What if he doesn't wanna jog with me anymore? He questioned himself, fixing his tie, as it was a bit wonky.
Relax, Izuku. It's just one day! I'm sure it wasn't that much of a big deal.
But what if he cares about this kind of stuff? He slapped his cheeks again, trying to break out of the thought. He felt a yawn coming in from the lack of sleep as he walked to the elevator, to go downstairs. He really should've slept more.
"Oi, nerd."
Izuku's eyes widened from being partially closed, immediately looking to his side. "Kacchan." He breathed. "What- what are you doing here?" He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.
"I live in the dorms too, dumbass," Katsuki rolled his eyes as he responded. "Why weren't you here this morning?" The blond asked, but it sounded more like a mumble, the blond didn't wanna make it sound like he was concerned or anything. Which he totally wasn't, by the way. He totally wasn't about to slam his door open to check whether he had died yet, or to crawl through his window even though his dorm was high off the ground, not at all.
"I- I'm really sorry, Kacchan. I really wanted to... but I just couldn't sleep, I think I only ended up falling asleep for an hour or so.. I feel like- like shit."
Not gonna lie, Katsuki was kind of surprised hearing the word "shit" slip off the nerd's mouth. He was about to tell him not to say such words, but then remembered what he himself was like. He cleared his throat. "Yeah, you look like it too." Katsuki found himself snorting, covering the lower half of his face, laughing at his own joke. Izuku eyed him, too sleepy to do anything about it, though. "Not funny, Kacchan." He frowned, turning away from the blond, folding his arms from his reply, or realize that the blond was laughing. "Oh come on, seriously?" Katsuki sighed, the door had finally opened. "You should've gotten more sleep, nerd." Was what he heard from the taller male before he had exited the elevator. "Wait- Kacchan," Izuku called, rubbing one of his green eyes again.
"What now." The blond raised a brow, turning around. "Your tie." Izuku spoke, looking at the male's lower neck, where the tie was barely hanging onto the uniform, he didn't bother to do it properly at all.
"So what, Deku? It's always like that."
"Yeah, and it always bothers me." Izuku walked up to the red-eyed male, helping him tie it up the proper way. The greenette scrunched his eyebrows together, having trouble focusing from how tired his eyes were. "Funny how even though I've been doing this since the first day I came here and you decide to fix it now."
Katsuki stared down at this short haired male, quietly. He didn't oppose to this guy touching him, trying to fix his shirt, tie, anything. Just the fact that he was able to have him this close was enough. He probably looked too suspicious to be quiet for more than 1 minute, though. But he didn't care at the moment. All he could think of right now was how cute this idiot looked when he was basically half asleep, and still managed to some how tie his tie better than Katsuki could.
"You look pretty." The blond whispered, under his breath. And he nearly had a heart attack after he did so. He wasn't meant to whisper it out loud. But thanks to his luck, Izuku was too tired to realize what he had just said. "I said you look shitty." He corrected himself. "Wha- hey..!" Izuku pouted, his tone sounded less offended than it usual, as he wasn't completely aware of everything going on. Katsuki tried so hard not to laugh, really.
"Your.. your uniform looks- looks shitty." Izuku tried to argue. "Everyone has the same uniform, stupid Deku, you're basically calling yourself shitty in the process." To which Izuku sleepily snapped, again.
"What did we just witness." Denki, whispered to a red haired male, Kirishima.
"I've literally called Bakubro like- five times now. I can't tell if he's doing this on purpose, or if he's too in love to notice." Kirishima whispered back.
"You saw that- right? You saw what just happened?" The yellow haired male looked at Ejirou for confirmation. "Was that his attempt in flirting?" Kirishima looked back at the pair. "I don't wanna know." Kirishima replied. How the hell was Katsuki gonna get this guy's heart if this is how they flirt with each other?
But between you and me, they don't know that this "flirting" they were doing, was actually working, somehow.
Anyway,
"Both of them look like they still like each other- hold on," Kaminari got up.
"You look shitty." The yellow haired male told Sero, in the kitchen. "Excuse me?" Sero raised a brow, confused. "Do you feel the love yet?" The yellow haired male continued, "What." Sero had no idea what was going on. "Do you feel the sexual tension?" Denki questioned with a lip bite. "Denki, I'm straight."
"Midobro seems to like it." The yellow haired male pointed at the pair behind them in the common room. "That's a weird kink, but aight." Sero shrugged. "Do you think I should try with Jirou?? Who knows how good it would go!" Denki smiled, excited. "Okay, let's.. not do that." The black-haired male adviced.
"Y'know what we should do?" Mina motioned at the blond and green pair, sitting down next to Ejirou. "Do a movie night." She smirked. "It's Friday~" she added, Kirishima grinned at the idea. "Yeah! That's a great idea." Ejirou supported. "We could make them sit together." She smiled, "On this couch!" She patted the couch they were sitting on. Kirishima nodded to everything. "Perfect! I'll tell Ocha and the others, it could be like a class movie night." She got up, grabbing her phone from her pocket.
"Soo.. Deku, do you like movies?" Uraraka asked his best friend as the Dekusquad walked to the school building together. "Is this about books vs. movies?.. Because if so, I prefer bo—"
"No, Izu, that was a stupid way to word the question, nevermind— do you uh, do you like watching movies?" She phrased, Izuku yawned while nodding. "Hm, what genres do you like?"
"Anything but horror, and sometimes thriller- thriller depends." Izuku answered. "Why?" The brunette asked. "I dunno, I just never liked them. They give me a bad feeling, and always creep me out."
"Why are we talking about movies?" Shoto questioned the brunette. "Oh! Mina decided that we'd have a movie tonight, as a whole class." She spoke happily, the dual haired male nodded in a response. "Are you okay, Midoriya? You look really tired." The taller male asked, in a monotones voice. "I'm fine, thanks Sho.. I'm just super tired, that's all. I didn't get much sleep." Izuku smiled slightly.
"What'd you do all night, then?" Uraraka asked, wondering what could occupy her best friend's mind so much that he wasn't able to sleep.
"Thinking of Ka—..." Izuku stopped himself, he knew he couldn't just admit that he was thinking about the blond the whole night before deciding to make his time usual and study. "Katsudon! I-I love Katsudon!! Mmm... so.. uh, good." He cleared his throat.