Homestar Saga

By DestroyatronMk8

1.6K 337 3

The pixens are a people without a planet. Forced to live as refugees, they eke out a living as adult entertai... More

Chapter 1: The Only Thing Worse Than a Human
Chapter 2: Madlad Mims
Chapter 3: Battle for the Big Mama
Chapter 4: Public Relations
Chapter 5: Tact and Diplomacy
Chapter 6: Crime, Commerce, and Cake
Chapter 7: Girl Talk
Chapter 8: Incursion
Chapter 9: Reinforcements
Chapter 10: Charge of the Gunzerker
Chapter 11: Suicide Run
Chapter 12: Kamikaze
Chapter 13: Everything New is Old Again
Chapter 14: Jumpdrive
Chapter 15: The Darkening
Chapter 16: Neutral Species
Chapter 17: Take Me To Your Leader
Chapter 18: Dubious Employer
Chapter 19: Analog
Chapter 20: Derelict
Chapter 21: Move Fast and Break Stuff
Chapter 22: Pressing Concerns
Chapter 23: Agent of the Xill
Chapter 24: Outcasts
Chapter 25: Hunters of the Void
Chapter 26: Bigger Guns
Chapter 27: Bigger Guns
Chapter 28: Boarding Party
Chapter 29: Scargiver
Chapter 30: Agent of Terra
Chapter 31: Secrets
Chapter 32: Code Galactica
Chapter 33: Galactica Protocol
Chapter 34: Debrief
Chapter 35: Aldara Remembers
Chapter 36: Space Captain
Chapter 37: Recompense
Chapter 38: Panic Attack
Chapter 40: Mimsey Get Your Guns
Chapter 41: The Price of Fame
Chapter 42: Mommy Issues
Chapter 43: The Tallest
Chapter 44: The Art of Intimidation
Chapter 45: Mobs and Monsters
Chapter 46: Public Transport
Chapter 47: The Hall of Masters
Chapter 48: To Krog or Not to Krog
Chapter 49: Technically the Truth
Chapter 50: Almost Perfect
Interlude 1: Prey Animals
Chapter 51: Distress Call
Chapter 52: Literally Pirates
Chapter 53: Civilians
Chapter 54: Shoulda Woulda Coulda
Chapter 55: Conversations With Cat People
Chapter 56: Already Dead
Chapter 57: A Force For Good
Chapter 58: The Big Dirty
Chapter 59: No Cake For You
Chapter 60: Don't Get Caught
Chapter 61: Tortuga
Chapter 62: Out of Beer
Chapter 63: War Games
Chapter 64: Hostage
Chapter 65: Starlost
Chapter 66: Dark Matter
Chapter 67: Boundaries
Chapter 68: Abomination
Chapter 69: Trial of the Pixens
Chapter 70: Accidents and Stupid Ideas
Chapter 71: Time to Rock and Roll
Chapter 72: Symphony of Destruction
Chapter 73: The Fall of the Random Encounter
Chapter 74: False Alarm
Chapter 75: Fight or Flight
Chapter 76: Deux Ex Machina
Chapter 77: The Long Con
Chapter 78: Born in Blood
Chapter 79: The Crystal City
Chapter 80: Only I Remain
Chapter 81: The Peacekeeper
Chapter 82: Collective Bargaining
Chapter 83: The Pixen Technocracy
Chapter 84: City 43
Chapter 85: The Longest Night
Chapter 86: Saving the City
Chapter 87: Non-Standard
Chapter 88: Robot Army
Chapter 89: Reba
Chapter 90: The Homestar
Chapter 91: Agents of Pixa
Chapter 92: Head Pixen In Charge
Chapter 93: Messenger Duty
Chapter 94: The Pixen Stellar Defense Force
Chapter 95: No Mercy For Slavers
Chapter 96: Wheel Theory
Chapter 97: Stingers
Chapter 98: Trust
Chapter 99: Side Trip
Chapter 100: Crystal Communion
Chapter 101: Out of Range
Chapter 102: Klaath Queens
Chapter 103: Infection
Chapter 104: Ace in the Hole
Chapter 105: Last Resort
Chapter 106: A Nice Surprise
Chapter 107: Playing Dress-up
Chapter 108: Trade Deal
Chapter 109: Shindig
Chapter 110: Tactical Necessity
Chapter 111: New Guy
Chapter 112: First Lesson
Chapter 113: Cunning and Brave
Chapter 114: Game Plan
Chapter 115: Infowars
Chapter 116: Counterintelligence
Chapter 117: Rescue
Chapter 118: Monster on Board
Chapter 119: Varma Award
Chapter 120: They Know
Chapter 121: Failure
Chapter 122: The Fall of Brilend Prime
Chapter 123: The Fifth Law of Power
Chapter 124: Running
Chapter 125: The Enterprise
Chapter 126: Invasion
Chapter 127: Fools Flailing in the Dark
Chapter 128: Annihilation Retrieval
Chapter 129: The Last Hope
Chapter 130: Still Standing
Chapter 131: Harbinger
Chapter 132: Costly Declaration
Chapter 133: Already Losing
Chapter 134: Pretending to be Professionals
Chapter 135: Operation BACKLINE
Chapter 136: Coffee
Chapter 137: Meeting of the Minds
Chapter 138: Wake Up Call
Chapter 139: The Silence of the Xill
Chapter 140: The Other Shoe
Chapter 141: Publicity Stunt
Chapter 142: More Expendable
Chapter 143: Soul Gaze
Chapter 144: Motivational Speaker Mims
Chapter 145: Doomsday Clock
Chapter 146: Insufficient
Chapter 147: One Shot
Chapter 148: Pursuit
Chapter 149: Eight on One
Chapter 150: Wrath of the Skygem
Chapter 151: Jewel of the Sky
Chapter 152: Learned Behaviors
Chapter 153: Learned Behaviors
Chapter 154: Rules of Engagement
Chapter 155: Assault on Aldara
Chapter 156: Smart Humans and Stupid AI
Chapter 157: Way of the Starfang
Chapter 158: Shell Game
Chapter 159: Tactically Unsound
Chapter 160: Monster In Paradise
Chapter 161: Gunboat Diplomacy
Chapter 162: The Privilege Of The Strong
Chapter 163: Motherless Sons
Chapter 164: Defector
Chapter 165: Spite and Spycraft
Chapter 166: Love and Loss
Chapter 167: The Return of the Klaath
Chapter 168: Connor Protocol
Chapter 169: Frame-Up
Chapter 170: A Game of Death

Chapter 39: There Are No More Akindi

9 2 0
By DestroyatronMk8

"Is it true?"

"Hmm?" The Captain looked up at Yvian's question. His mouth was full of eggs, so a questioning hmm was all he could manage. He had offered no apologies or explanations for his breakdown or locking himself in his quarters, but he had put together an enormous breakfast. He seemed back to normal, mostly. If he occasionally stared at nothing with a troubled expression, the sisters pretended not to notice.

Belatedly, Yvian realized she'd asked the question on her mind without providing any context.

"Yesterday, you told the Trelg National guy that you could buy his whole country. Is it true?"

Mims finished his mouthful and washed it down with some orange juice. "I don't think the Trelg Republic is for sale."

"You know what I mean," she chided. "Do you really have enough money to buy a country?"

"Probably." The Captain shrugged. "I don't think anyone's selling one, though. Pass the syrup?"

Lissa handed it to him. He proceed to slather it on a stack of pancakes. She frowned. "I know privateering pays well, but I didn't think it paid that well."

"It doesn't," the Captain agreed.

"Then how'd you get so much money?" Lissa scooped herself another helping of fried potatoes.

Mims finished chewing a piece for bacon before he replied. "I own Venturetech."

Yvian's forkful of french toast froze on the way to her mouth. "You what?"

"I own Venturetech."

"How?" Lissa demanded. "Getting a controlling interest in a company that size..."

"You don't get it," Mims gestured at her with his forkful of pancakes. He took a quick bite, then said. "I don't have a controlling interest. Venturetech's not a publicly traded company. It's a privately owned corporation. Privately owned," He pointed at himself with his now empty fork. "By me."

"That's ridiculous." Lissa scoffed as she poured more ketchup onto her plate. "You're not a citizen. You can't own a corporation."

"I am a full citizen," Mims assured her. "By way of the Krog Monarchy. They made me a citizen when they Named me."

Yvian thought about that for a second. Then she said, "Doesn't that mean your official name is Mimsey-cake?" Lissa giggled.

The human puffed himself up a little, offended. "I'll have you know that name was bestowed upon me by the crown princess herself." He folded his arms in front of his chest. "Very few people experience such an honor." His frown deepened as he noticed his fork still had maple syrup on it. A few drops of the syrup had dripped onto his armor.

Yvian smirked. "And how old was the crown princess when she named you after a pastry?"

"She was four." Mims irritably wiped at the syrup with a cloth napkin.

"We're getting off subject," Lissa interjected. "How do you own Venturetech?"

"It's not complicated." Mims set down the napkin and activated the cleaning function on his voidarmor. "You know I worked for XTRO, right?"

"Yeah, we know you're a spy."

"Privateer. Spying's a sideline." Mims sipped some orange juice. "Anyway, it's hard to gather intel on an empire as big as the Confed. Especially when they didn't have centralized communication. Using drones to cross Gates with data packets...it's... unwieldy. It took months for news to travel from one end of the Confed to the other."

"So once I was a citizen, my handlers saw an opportunity to fix that. They handed me some schematics and hired me to introduce Node technology to the Confed."

"Wait," Yvian set down her fork, thinking through the implications. "Are you saying that the Nexus is human technology? And you built it to spy on us?"

"Pretty much." The Captain shrugged. "Since it's built to Terran specs, the Federation can tap in to anything they want. They can see every comm, N-mail, and chatroom that passes through a Node."

"Crunch."

"Anyway," Mims continued, starting back in on his pancakes. "Once we got some Nodes built, and some servers to process the communication, it was just a matter of maintaining the patents and watching the money roll in. Forty credits a month doesn't sound like much, but when you have six trillion subscribers..."

"Is everything Venturetech makes human tech?" Lissa asked.

"Not everything." The Captain took another bite. After swallowing he continued, "The medpods are made by the Oluken. We just change the casing and the language interface. And the Jumpdrive was invented by one of our employees. Uses the same quantum entanglement principles the Nodes are based on." He poured himself some more orange juice. "Aside from the Nodes, the Federation doesn't want me spreading Terran tech around, so most Venturetech products are the result of their own R and D."

"R and D?" Yvian eyed the fried potatoes, debating whether she could manage another helping. She was feeling pretty full.

"Research and Development," Mims clarified. "Basically, we hire-"

"I know what Research and Development is, Mims," Yvian gave him a scathing glower. "The translator's not good with abbreviations."

"Oh. Right." The Captain gave an apologetic look, then said, "The Nexus is still our biggest earner, but I think it only accounts for forty percent of total revenue."

"And you... you run all that?" Yvian could maybe see the Captain doing some paperwork, but she couldn't imagine him running the minutiae of a corporation and still finding time to do the things they'd been doing.

Mims snorted. "I don't run shit. I just own it. The CEO sends me a report every quarter, and money gets dumped into my account. That's as involved as I get."

"Speaking of money..." Lissa's grin was sly. "How much we talking?"

Mims shrugged. "More than I can spend."

"Trillions, at least." Lissa thought for a few seconds, sipping beer. "Hundreds of trillions?"

"Add a few more zeros."

"Bright Lady," she swore. Then she tilted her head, puzzled. "But if you've got all this money, why are you working as a privateer?"

"I'm a pilot," Mims told her. "Flying is what I do."

"Ok..." Yvian drawled. "But why are you so greedy about it?"

"I'm not greedy." Mims raised his chin. "I just know what I'm worth."

"You're greedy."

"It's a matter of principle," he raised his fork as he intoned. "A privateer..."

"Never does anything for free," the girls finished in unison, rolling their eyes.

"You're still greedy," Lissa told him.

"Shut up."

They were on the bridge of the Encounter forty minutes later. The Recompense was still decelerating, but they'd neared the destination Mims had programmed. The destination was an asteroid. A big one, shaped like... well. Shaped like a piece of anatomy not discussed in polite company. The formation appeared to be natural, as far as Yvian could tell. It was a whopping six hundred kilometers in length, and roughly ninety kilometers around, though it was noticeably thicker on one end.

"Uh, Mims?" Yvian was concerned. "We're going to crash into that asteroid."

"No we're not." Mims dismissed her concern.

"We're headed right for it."

"I know."

"Don't you think we should-"

"Don't worry about it."

Yvian pulled up a video feed of the Recompense's forward sensors. The asteroid loomed large as the cruiser dived towards the bottom of the thinner end. At the speed they were going, Yvian figured the Recompense's shields could withstand the impact, but the sudden stop might overload the inertial dampeners and cause the Random Encounter to slide around in its docking bay.

"Are you sure?" Lissa asked.

"Trust me."

Yvian braced herself for impact. The impact never came. The Recompense flew right through the base of the asteroid. The image slid around its hull, falling away after half a second. Yvian lost sensor contact with the rest of the sector, but the interior of the asteroid was revealed.

It was a hidden base. Two of them, in fact. Two hundred kilometers worth of asteroid had been hollowed out. In the middle of the space was a medium sized equipment dock. Built into the rock at the other end of the space was another station, but emergency notifications interrupted Yvian before she could get a good look at it.

"Shit! We're being targeted." Sensors revealed two heavy weapons platforms and three anti-fighter platforms aiming at them. A quarter second later a big ship, probably a destroyer, pointed guns their way as well.

At the same time Yvian spoke, an automated message piped in through the comms. "Take what you can."

Mims activated his own comm and replied, "Give nothing back."

"Code Accepted," the automated voice replied. The weapon platforms and the destroyer stopped targeting them.

"It's an old pirate base," Mims explained. "Used to belong to the Akindi." He set a course for the equipment dock. "The crystal ship should be safe here while we deal with other things."

"You're not worried the Akindi might come back?" Lissa asked.

"There are no more Akindi." the Captain told her.

Yvian went back to scanning the area. The base built into the asteroid was the standard LiveShop Commerce station a lot of pirates use. The destroyer was a model she'd never seen before. She wondered if the pirates had built it themselves.

There were over four thousand dead bodies floating along the interior of the asteroid.

"What happened to them?" Yvian wondered.

Mims leaned over to look at her screen. "Most pirate stations have automated defenses. Turrets and such. Looks like somebody took control and massacred both stations. Dumped the bodies into space."

"Was it you?" Lissa studied his grim expression.

"No comment."

"There are children among the bodies."

Mims let out a breath through his nose. "Yeah."

"And you're ok with that?"

"Not really." The Captain started to shrug, then stopped himself. He sighed. "This was one of the biggest slave processing stations in the Confed at the time. Most of those kids were already implanted. If you knew what happens after..." Mims shook his head. "Death was the only mercy I could give them."

"But not all of them were implanted." Lissa guessed.

"No." Mims admitted. "Not all."

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