Parineet's POV
I reached the venue of the wedding in just twenty minutes, since it was close to my home. At the entrance I found Ayaan's mother smiling towards me. She must be greeting all the guests.
"Hello beta. I was waiting for you only." She embraced me in an affectionate motherly hug. Every person I met through Taran, is warm and welcoming, just like him. But her warmth wasn't able to pacify the uneasiness I was feeling. A fear had gripped my hand, again.
"Sorry aunty for being late." I broke the hug and tilted my head, asking for an apology. After being so involved in all the functions, marriage preparation and being a good friend of Ayaan, it was surely a big thing to come late on his wedding night. She patted my back and I smiled in return. Just then, I saw Taran coming near us. He was clad in a royal black sherwani paired with white choodhidaars, his hairs well parted, his face looking ever so handsome. His musk fragrance calmed down my senses as he came closer with a pair of keys in his hand.
"I am so sorry Parineet. I forgot to pick you up." He did put down the phone, which was before, being held to his left ear closely. I was taken aback by the fact that he remembered, when I should not be. Ofcourse he would remember because he himself offered to do so. Neeti scared me for no reason. I'll tell her that he was coming to pick me up, or atleast remembered the same.
"I was calling you to inform that you need to come by yourself." He shrugged, signalling to the mobile phone in his hand, and I happily nodded.
"It's alright. I understand." I said, clearing my throat which was earlier, choking at the prospect of being turned down.
"I was actually a bit busy..."
"We all know how much busy you are. Important stuff I see." Ayaan's mom said cutting him off, and he smiled towards her, his shoulders dropped though. And I was standing there, all clueless. What was I missing?
"What is it about?" I asked having a blank and excited facial expression, both at the same time. I have never been a person who likes to know anything which is not my business but I belong to Taran and his every concern belongs to me, hence I ended up asking the matter. And to be honest, my heart was still bothered.
Though Taran looked unhappy as I asked aunty about him. It appeared as if he didn't want me to know, or to admit it. He looked conflicted, tired yet there was a plausible smile on his face plastered since forever.
Ayaan's mom took no time in announcing the secret, she had been knowing. She held my hand excitedly and said "Taran is finally in love. He has begun dating his friend." She turned to him and kissed his forehead "I am so happy for you. Ayaan is already hitched, and soon, you gonna get settled. Alhamdulillah." Taran smiled and I didn't know how to react. My world came to a standstill, my hopes and dreams seemed shattered already, until I saw him staring at me. Taran looked at me, as he hugged aunty. I tried to read his eyes for a second, but the tears in mine were evident so I looked away. I can't tell him that I love him now. I don't want to ruin things with him and more than that I want to know if he's happy or not.
"Acha beta! Andar chalo. Zainab is also waiting for you." Ayaan's mom broke the hug and said to me, to which I nodded. I moved past Taran and I got brushed against his arm, he again looked at me and this time I chose to congratulate him for his love life, he always wanted.
"Congratulations Taran!" I saw his small pink lips parted, eager to say something, probably a thank you? But he didn't utter a word, not even an alphabet. Rather walked beside me up to the main wedding hall. As we walked further, a cheerful, vibrant view came in front of my eyes. Everyone was so happy, wearing richly beautiful nawabi dresses. Women in shararas, lehengas and men dressed in pathanis, sherwanis alike royal attires. The entire venue looked decked up like a bride, with variety of flowers and lights. Aroma of deliciously cooked dishes could be sensed from afar. However, Taran seemed alien to all this happiness and festivity. He was visibly uncomfortable.
"I'll go see Neeti." I said facing him but I didn't look in his eyes, nor he tried to look at me. He rubbed his nose and shifted his hands into the pockets "Won't you meet Ayaan?"
"I will come with Neeti and Bhaiya to see him."
"They have already met him. Ayaan.." He said stopping several times in between the sentence as if a lump was formed in his throat. Did he want me to come with him?
I finally looked up at him. "Ayaan?" I questioned with hope.
"I. Nothing. I think you should see Neeti. But do join the Baraat." He said, still not looking at me. I don't know what is wrong with him. Is he not happy with his decision of marriage? Do he think he ows me an explanation? No! He doesn't. Neither I have expressed my love to him, for which he should feel a baggage of turning down, nor he has expressed if he likes me or not. Then what is it with him? In fact he should have been the happiest about this news, he should have been the one, dancing and telling all the people around that he is ought to get married.
"Baraat?" I asked genuinely nonetheless.
"Yes. Since we are doing all the functions together so initially there was no scope of baraat but Zainab wanted Ayaan to come with one, so we will do that ritual here only." He explained.
"Okay! I'll join you guys in a minute." Saying this, I took my excuse as it was really affecting me. His presence, my broken heart and his actions weren't going well with me. I called Neeti. She was standing with bhaiya near the fifth table from right.
"Finally tu aagayi." Neeti hugged me, she knew I needed one.
"I don't understand what was the need for you to come by yourself all alone!" Vicky bhaiya shrugged his shoulders seeing me. He must be tensed about me. He cares for me very much.
"Forget that Vicky! We need to talk Pari." Neeti held my elbow and took me to side.
"Not now Neeti. Let's meet Zainab and then we have to head to the Baraat."
"But -"
"We will talk definitely." I pressed a smile towards her and held her by her shoulders.
"We will talk right now." She can be very stubborn at times.
"Kya hai Neeti?" I said almost yelling in agony.
"You tell me what is the problem? I saw him around a friend of his and he.." she yelled and then her voice lowered.
"And he?" I looked at Neeti.
"Seemed busy. He looked formal with her, but everyone around them behaved as if they are in a relationship. I don't know how to put it." Neeti frowned, closing her eyes as she didn't want to hurt me in the process of telling what she witnessed before I came here. But how should I tell her that I can't get hurt anymore, nor my heart can break into further pieces. It's already late for that.
"He's seeing her." Neeti's eyes went wide as she looked on. I continued "- and is expected to get married."
"WHAT -" Neeti was shocked. Maybe she didn't expect this much of news altoggether. She had been always celebrating Taran and my wedding in her dreams, for she really likes him.
"Yes! Happy heartbreak to me." I smiled at her helplessly, holding her hand by elbow.
"But how are you so casual about it? Did you tell him that you love him?" Neeti almost jolted me, she was keen to know if I have made the confession or not.
"Do you think I have?" I said looking at her.
"Go tell him. Its never too late." She yelped, as if it's my last chance.
"Its of no use. Its his decision of marrying someone else and Neeti.. I don't even know if he likes me that way or not. The only thing I know is that he has always wanted a marriage, a relationship and if he is getting it, I seriously don't want to ruin it for him." I sighed. I don't know if he loves me or not. I only am aware about my feelings towards him and I don't want to impose them on him when he has already found his happiness. As far as I know Taran, he's an extremely outgoing guy and for a fact we have shared enough time together that he would have easily told me about his feelings, if he would have had any. And I am sure he will, if there's still anything like that. But right now, I don't want to complicate things.
"Pari, all this bullshit of setting your love free looks good only in books not in real life." Neeti growled in a low voice, backing off from me.
"I'm just going with the flow Neeti." I said holding her near. "Look I have a doubt that he doesn't like his fiance romantically." I said not only for her satisfaction but because I feel so. That day, on Ayaan's bachelor party, surely I was jealous but I also could see, how aloof he behaved with Shikha. As if, his gaze wasn't looking for her, as if she doesn't matter at the moment. As if he's looking for someone else. But it could be an aftermath of our argument also, I am screwed.
"You do?" Neeti asked, her anger diffused a little and an eagerness washed over her face. She wanted to listen something she has been manifesting all this time.
"I feel so. I mean, he doesn't look as excited as he should be. Taran seems off.." I said shrugging my shoulders and continued "I don't know what it is. So I want him to do what his heart wants. If he likes being unhappy in a marriage he wants, he's welcome. Otherwise he just needs to look at me once, and he will find me there for him always."
"My Pari has grown up so much!" Neeti's eyes welled up with my words. I wiped her tears, I don't deserve them.
"Trust me I haven't. I wanna cry out aloud but Ayaan and Zainab are important for me. Now give me a hug I need it." And she instantly hugged me tightly. I hid my tears in her embrace.
"I hope Taran realizes that how much you love him." She said to me while hugging.
After parting away, we headed to meet Ayaan and join him in his baraat. Ayaan was looking ever so gorgeous groom, in his royal deep maroon sherwani that had intricate designs on it. Taran was standing behind him and he offered me a smile which I awkwardly returned. The air between us was stiff. I felt like choking. The exchanged glances, felt inadequate to me and an urge to claim him in front of everyone rose up my gut.
We were dancing on our way when many a times, our shoulders touched, our eyes met and we stopped doing what we were doing, as if time to time we fell into a deep trance. I didn't want to come out of it though. There was one time when Ayaan's sister almost dragged me and Taran to the center of the group, expecting us to dance. If the situation for me would have been different, it wouldn't have been so tough that it seemed actually. When did Taran became my distress when he was actually my solace? Love does that. Love doesn't spare lovers. It makes your partner your comfort as well as your headache for life doesn't seem good if they are not in it. It is tough to find your peace in their absence, maybe that's what they talk about five stages of love. I'm only at first one. But what surprises me is Taran's behaviour. Why is he uneasy when he is in a good space.
A moment later, Taran initiated the dance first and I hopped in with him, smiling ear to ear. I have to celebrate the wedding right?
Our hands brushed against each other, which earned me a stare from him. He confused me. His actions have been confusing me all day. Why he is looking at me as if he wants to say something? Do he loves me like I do? If yes then why he has to date Shikha?
Taran's eyes were not moist, but he looked like he wanted to cry out something very loud. His lips were parted but not a single word came out. I was staring back at him, with equal passion when I felt him holding my hand and twirling around. The baraat moved forward and I landed up against his torso, we stood still, looking at each other. His hands were on my waist as he held me.
"Taran!" I let out a breathe.
"Parineet!" He called me in the same voice and I moved my head asking what he wants. Just when I was busy looking at him breathlessly, he raised his left hand on our side and showed that my dupatta was stuck in his watch. I looked at it, but his gaze was fixed on me, I could feel the heat. His gaze was making my heart flutter, nor once his eyes flickered until I freed my stall from his watch. It was a desperate attempt for I couldn't stand his proximity. I know he would have surely seen it on my face. But it was difficult to not touch him, to not kiss him feverishly, to not let myself get lost in his embrace. As soon as we got untangled, we moved in opposite directions. While his tender yet strong hold, his piercing gaze, his overwhelming presence was enough to have my heart racing, his actions and reactions did no help in solving the questions that were arising in my mind. Maybe I am overthinking, maybe I want my love to win and have Taran only to me so much that I have begin making scenarios in my head. I am taking his quiet and unexcited demeanor a little too serious. But shouldn't he be celebrating rather than giving off such lethargic energy. It looks as if he is done with himself.
"Qubool hai."
"Qubool hai." Ayaan and Zainab said respectively. Zainab was looking breathtakingly gorgeous in her red green heavily designed lehenga. She didn't only make Ayaan swoon over her but all of us. She is a god gifted beauty. I and Neeti were sitting on the side of bride, when I saw Shikha. She looked uninterested though, and I understand her place. She had just come here because of Taran and her father's comradery with Zainab's father. She knows nobody here. Dressed in a simple and elegant black anarkali suit, I found her glancing at Taran often through the curtains. I was extremely jealous seeing him returning a warm smile to her every single time.
"They are twinning." Neeti pouted in anger and whispered to me and I chuckled. She saw them too, but the difference is she was angry while I was helpless. I looked straight, still maintaining a smile on my face when my eyes fell on Taran. He was already looking at me and I wondered why. The nikaah happened with good blessings and everyone danced happily on the stage. Ayaan and Zainab wanted to dance but couldn't unfortunately. Zainab's attire was too heavy but she was cheering for her relatives crazily.
Neeti and me were seeing people dancing and enjoying, but my eyes were fixed on Taran who was having a conversation with Shikha. My insides were tearing apart on seeing them like that for I wanted to be where Shikha was.
"Pari where is your earring? The left one?" Neeti asked, making me come back to reality. I raised my hand up to my left ear and there was actually no earring. I looked around my dress but it was missing.
"Maybe it fell off on the stage when we were dancing." I suggested looking at the stage which was now almost empty. Neeti wanted to come with me but she was pregnant and I didn't want her to bend. Vicky bhaiya was busy with Ayaan's father. I went to the stage to look for my lost earring.
"There you are!" I exclaimed as I found it lying on the corner. I walked and bent to pick it up when my eyes met Taran's. Our hands touched as he picked the earring before me, while I was caught by his gaze. His dark brown eyes were telling me a different story from what I have been seeing till down. Or might be, my head was cooking up one, which was in my favour. Which told me that Taran wants me as much as I want him, he loves me, maybe more than I will ever deserve. My hand was still on his, absorbing the warmth his touch was radiating. Slowly, I saw him caressing my left cheek and I melted at his touch. My cheek was being held by his soft large palm, then he smoothly tucked my hairs behind my ear and we got up. I quickly recovered from the effect of Taran's tactics and forwarded my hand towards him to ask for my earring.
"May I?" I heard him saying softly. His gaze held care and affection for me, and I was craving for it. So much that I didn't utter a word in my response. He understood and I witnessed his tall frame leaning. Our faces were inches apart, and as he breathed I smelled alcohol. He had been drinking. As soon as he made me wear my earring, which he did with utmost care and delicately as if I am a fragile doll he don't want to hurt, Taran began walking away, hurting me more.
"Taran!" Why have you been drinking? I wanted to add as I called out and he stopped in his tracks.
"I am so happy for you and Shikha" I said, not having the courage to question him anything as he looked in my direction.
"Thanks!" He smiled, all tight lipped.
"Aren't you excited about it? Finally getting married." I walked towards him smilingly.
"I'm not getting married. There's time." He was quick in responding which made me gape and he quickly recovered.
"Still. You gonna marry her only. No?" I insisted.
"Y- yeah! Only her." He gave in. Was I giving him a hard time? But wasn't it his reality?
"Congratulations. I'm so happy you found home in her. I hope you keep each other happy." I replied.
"We are trying to do. Specially her."
"Then why don't you look the same?" The words slipped out of my mouth and I wasn't sorry. His silence and aloofness had been bothering me ever since.
"Am I? Maybe.. maybe I am just caught up. You know.." Taran struggled with words.
"Yeah. Yeah. I know. Best friend's wedding." I chose to help. I chose to play along if that's what he wants.
"Yeah that's why maybe." He said looking down at the floor and I felt angry. I was angry with him, his stubbornness, his lies. I could see through him, he was lying. Okay. Don't love me Taran Ahuja but at least don't stay in a relationship where you aren't happy where you aren't yourself, I wanted to scream but I preferred walking away.
"Umm Parineet." he called out this time.
"Yes?"
"I am sorry for today."
"About what?" I was shocked at how bitter I sounded.
"For not picking you up. I was -" So all he cares about not picking me up. Wow!
"Caught up. I know. And I should stop bothering you now, Shikha should get all the attention." I smiled rather creepily after saying it all in a go. I was irritated but he nodded awkwardly and we parted our ways for the third time today. When did we go so far from each other that it has became difficult for us to even breathe in each other's presence? I am fine with him not loving me. I am fine with him marrying Shikha but why is he letting go of me as a friend. What changed between us? Nor did I confess my love to him neither I have done anything hurtful. I can clearly see that he doesn't want this alliance then why he is so quiet about it? Have I lost my position of a good friend in his life that he can't share his uneasiness with me? And if he is bothered by things in his life then why it's only me who is receiving his cold shoulder? Tears finally streamed down my cheeks, which I had been holding back for hours now. Happy memories of Zainab and Ayaan's haldi and mehendi ceremony came flashing in front of my eyes as I cried my heart out in a corner. I looked at my right hand which had Taran written on it.
"Can you write Taran on my hand?" I had asked the girl who was busy making beautiful mehendi patterns on my hands. I was overjoyed that day. Taran and I had spent great deal of time together, he was happy. I would never forget how he made me eat because I was drying my hands though I didn't let him see his name on it. I had saved my confession for today but I guess that was a bad idea. Taran made me eat with his own hands, softly put the loose strands of my hairs behind my ears whenever I got bothered, he was there, always. Making me feel special, no less than a heroine of a movie.
"Taran ko koi haldi lagao. Uske best friend ki shadi hai aakhir." Ayaan said cheerfully as he was all covered up in turmeric, wearing goggles on a white transparent shirt. Taran had been playing safe and was hard to catch that day.
"Mujhe koi hald laga kar to dikhaye." He said adjusting the collar of his yellow kurta with swag, not aware of my presence behind him. Ayaan laughed and asked him to turn around which he did and I smeared turmeric paste all over his cheeks. The surprise and shock on Taran's face was unforgettable but I had no time to enjoy it since I chose to ran for my life. I saw him running behind me playfully. I was panting soon, and stopped by the wall.
"Here I got you!" He came with jet speed and I felt him holding my hand behind my back, cornering me against the wall. I was still panting hard when our eyes met. I gulped down the words that were formed at the back of my mouth as he smirked in the sexiest way possible. I didn't realize how much close we were standing for my senses weren't working properly. Taran leaned to my height and slowly smeared the haldi on my face with his own. I felt heat rising up to my cheeks as his touched mine. I was grounded, unable to say a word, unable to let out a breathe, and totally uncapable of gathering myself. I was truly at his mercy. I had never felt anything like that before, I was so caught up, so awestruck, so spellbound.
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After wiping my tears and stabilizing myself, I joined everyone at the big wedding feast. Only I know how much courage and efforts I put up to smile in front of everyone but I seemingly had no luck today for I found Taran and Shikha sitting right opposite to me. I felt Neeti holding my hand under the table, reassuring that she was here for me. I breathed and continued serving biryani to Neeti. Several times our eyes met, and we were just busy staring at each other until Neeti nudged me to stop staring. From the corner of my eyes I stole glances at Shikha and him serving each other food, chatting with each other rather formally. Seeing them so closely, made me lose my appetite. I hardly ate anything, not that I had any want for the same. Me and my mood both were down.
For sometime, I managed to distract myself by talking to Zainab and Ayaan. It was two in the night when the occasion of farewell commenced. I, at first was taken by surprise when a happy go lucky girl like Zainab who was so excited about her arranged turned love marriage began crying, but I realised that she is also a girl after all who has to leave her parents, her home behind and have to adjust herself in a whole new environment. We all know how much Ayaan loves her and won't allow even a needle to meddle with his Zainab but leaving our old ways and starting a new life post marriage is a task. My marriage with Rajeev happened amidst great chaos, reluctance, in absence of Neeti but in the last, I was satisfied for I was getting married to someone, who never scared me and always helped me. Little did I know that I was stepping into a vicious circle of lies and fallacy. Seeing zainab cry, reminded me of myself. I had also cried at the altar while having a contentment and happiness inside my heart, not knowing that Rajeev would leave me the next day to be with his girlfriend and won't return for an entire month. I never knew things would go so bad with me that I would be left with lies, guilts and tears. That day I only had Vicky bhaiya with me and I didn't complain. But witnessing Zainab having her father's shoulder to cry on made me miss Papa. I don't say it aloud but I do miss him. I would have told him about Taran if he would have been alive.
"Pari." I heard him sounding just like papa. Taran softly slipped his hand into mine as he stood beside me watching the bidaai and I was watching me as he did that. "Don't cry." he added, not looking at me. And I noticed that i have been crying all this while. My eyes were red, and cheeks were glistening with fresh tears. With his small gesture, I forgot all my pain that I relived in last two minutes. Rajeev is history, anything related to him is a history now. He is no more here. and maybe I am not with my parents but I have an equally loving and loving brother, a best friend and Taran. Taran and my love for him, are my only present. I love him, and it will always remain a truth unaffected and unaltered. It doesn't matter if he is marrying someone else or not. My heart feels that he likes me. This moment speaks for him if he doesn't. He is here with me, when I needed him the most and it is more than enough for me. Realizing all this, I wiped my tears and Taran silently interlocked our hands firmly in a secure grip, assuring me his support and affection, as we watched Ayaan and Zainab. It was wholesome.
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A/N : Sorry Sorry guys. Extremely sorry for keeping y'all hanging. But better late than never. Here's your chapter and do tell me how is it!! Love you all. Also a big thank you for 5k reads on this book. Couldn't have been more happier. ILYSFM!!