Ex England captain Leah Williamson said to be in hospital with a mystery illness.
In the last few days, rumours have circulated the internet claiming that Leah Williamson has been staying in a hospital just outside her hometown. Fans have speculated on social media about the reasons behind her stay, but others argued that it was nothing but cruel rumours.
In new pictures posted today, Alex Ryan, the mother to Leah's three children, was spotted entering the hospital with Aoife (12), Theo (9), and Finn (5). Alex and the children appeared to be in high spirits as they entered a side door, laughing and smiling with Leah's mother.
It's still unclear as to why the ex-footballer is in hospital, but the now businesswoman has been silent on social media since 21st September.
Alex Ryan and Leah Williamson shared a 'love story' romance that is rumoured to have come to an end just a few months ago, with music manager Gavin Gregg's slip up at the Young Music Awards appearing to offer the confirmation the fans were dreading.
When asked about the absence of Alex, Gavin pulled on his collar nervously, before telling the journalist "she has some stuff to move - sort out, we obviously can't wait to have her back in the studio, but Alex will be back when she's ready."
Fans were quick to spot the hints that Alex was moving out of the £7.9m house the two lived in, with many unable to believe that the couple had never opted for something bigger or pricier.
In a Jonathan Ross interview last Wednesday evening, Ryan referred to recognising other people's pain, something that fans have now linked heavily with Leah's hospital stay.
More to follow.
"Fuck sake." I rolled my eyes.
"We knew it was coming." Amanda nodded.
"Still sickening though. Where are the kids?"
"David and I have decided to keep them tonight, let Leah get settled back in without them running around."
Fuck. I don't know if that's something she will want.
"Yeah - em - right - cool." I stuttered.
"She wanted that."
"Leah did?"
"Yeah. I already asked her."
"Okay."
Do I go back to mine then? Do I stay? Do I ask her? What if she thinks I'm pushing my luck? What if she thinks I'm only wanting to look after her because I think there's something in it for me, like a reconciliation?
"There she is!" Amanda beamed, seeing Leah walking towards us.
"Le, what're you doing up? You should be resting." I sighed.
"Hungry."
"Sit down, I'll make you something." I fussed.
"Right, that's my cue, I'm off!" Amanda smiled, kissing Leah's cheek before she left.
Leah made her way into the living room, making it to the sofa completely tiring her out. I just about managed to wake her to get her to eat something before she staggered back to bed, the telltale signs that she really wasn't feeling good. I settled in the spare room, gazing around it and wondering what colour we would paint it for the new arrival, unable to stop that feeling of excitement in my stomach when I thought of the feeling of holding another little body in my arms. It wasn't long before I had fallen asleep, the tiredness of my mind almost more severe than the tiredness my actual body felt.
Since Leah and I separated, I hadn't been able to sleep as peacefully as I once did. I would wake up every hour, on the hour, always glancing around in hope that it had been a bad dream and that I would find her sleeping beside me. That never happened though, and the feeling of devastation that filled me each time made things so much harder. Tonight was different, there was something about Leah being just next door that made my mind feel at ease, my brain finally turning off enough to get some overdue rest.
The next few days passed quickly, Leah and I learning to live together again without sleeping in the same bed. The kids were settling in again too, the excitement of me being back home wearing off after a few moments of verbal discipline had been given out for silly arguments like Theo telling Finn that he had seen a monster under his bed, resulting in a sleepless Finn for two nights in a row. It wasn't until the 5th day that Leah broached something a little bit more sensitive, her face blushing as she made her request.
"I really need to get a bath, Alex. I don't think I could stand in the shower for that long."
"Should I run you one? Wait - are you even allowed to bath?"
"Yeah, 2 weeks they said. It's been longer than that."
I ran the bath, doing the usual temperature check with my hand before turning to get Leah, only to find her smiling at me from the doorway. I gave her a quick smile back before awkwardly excusing myself from the bathroom. Beginning to walk back downstairs, I noticed Leah was still stood at the bathroom door, her face a brighter colour of pink as we made eye contact.
"What's wrong? Should I not have put the bubbles in? I can run you one without the bubbles if you want?" I panicked.
"No, bubbles are fine." Leah whispered.
"What's wrong?"
"I think I'll need some help. If you aren't comfortable with it, I can -"
"No! I'll help!" I practically shouted.
Fuck. I meant like I'll help because I want to help. Not I'll help because I want to see. Fuck sake, Alex.
"You - to get into the bath." I added.
"You're so awkward, Alex." She chuckled.
"I know. I just - I didn't mean it like that. I didn't want you to think that I meant it like that - because I didn't. I didn't mean it - like that."
"I know, Al. I know." She whispered.
Al.
Things were awkward, until they weren't. A brief moment of you're my ex from us both faded the second I was stood in front of her.
"Arms up." I smiled.
She laughed, putting her arms above her head as I removed her jumper.
"Yeah?" I whispered, my hands at the waistline of her joggers.
She nodded, smiling down at me as I pulled them down and lifted each foot to remove them.
As I stood back to my feet, we had a moment. It didn't feel like a moment though, it felt like a lifetime, all in slow motion. Our eyes met, our lips turning upwards as we struggled to break the gaze. I brushed a strand of her hair that had fallen forwards behind her ear, rubbing my thumb across her face slightly.
"Thank you, for being here." She whispered.
"There's nowhere else I'd rather be right now."
Well done again, Alex. Nowhere else you'd rather be than stood in front of Leah ready to get into the bath.
"Than with you - obviously. Not just here - like anywhere. Obviously." I stuttered again.
My awkwardness broke the moment, Leah chuckling as she reached for my hand to steady herself getting into the bath. I watched as her eyes searched for me, almost like she was willing me to stay and talk to her, but my mind was racing at the thought that I was messing all of this up. I just kept saying the wrong thing, insinuating the wrong thing. I wanted to say I love you but every time I tried to display that, my words made me sound like I just wanted back into her bed. Well, in my head they did anyway.
I knew Leah said she felt dirty, so I gave her as long as I could before going back upstairs to check on her, worried that she might've been shouting for me but I couldn't hear her. As I reached the top of the stairs, Leah was already fully clothed drying the ends of her hair with a towel.
"I was just coming to help you out." I smiled.
Not the face I was expecting.
"I was fine on my own. Thanks though." She said, an underlying pissed off tone to her voice.
"Feel better now?"
"Yeah. Great. Thanks." She nodded.
What is going on? Is she embarrassed that I saw her so vulnerable?
"The kids will be home from school in a few hours, anything you want to do before they get home or anything?" I asked, trying to judge the mood.
"No. I'll probably just go back to bed." She smiled, disappearing before I could respond.
I tried to content myself, tried to focus on cleaning, or watching some daytime TV, but I couldn't help but think that Leah felt embarrassed that I'd seen her like that before. I wondered if it was different now, now that we weren't together anymore. To me, it was no different, I didn't love her any less - so why would I feel differently about helping her when she was sick just because we were no longer together. I decided I would tell her that, going back upstairs and gently opening the bedroom door. I found her stood in front of the mirror, tears streaming down her face with her top lifted up as she examined her surgery wound in the mirror. The second she noticed my presence, she pulled her top back down and wiped her tears.
"I was just - what're you doing in here? Are the kids home?"
She tried to walk back to the bed but my hand finding hers stopped her, restarting the tears again.
"Le, what is it? I hate seeing you cry." I asked softly.
"Why did you run?"
"Run?"
"From me."
"When did I run?"
"In the bathroom."
"I just - it was just - I - I don't know."
Of course I know.
"You know, I can't stop thinking about it." She said coldly.
"About what?"
"You. And her."
What?
"Me and who?"
"The next person. I know - I know it's fucked up. I think about it all the time."
"Think about what?"
"It makes me feel sick."
"What does?"
"Like really fucking sick."
"What does, Leah?" I asked, sounding a little more harsh than I meant to.
She sucked her teeth slightly, before going on a rant of her imagination. I knew I had to let her get it out, I knew that for every thought she had, I'd had the same thoughts about her and 'the next person.'
"I think about how you'll give her that smile, the one that says I love that you're mine. The one I used to get. I think about how you'll whisper in her ear, those little words reminding her how beautiful you think she is to fill her full of confidence whilst you undress her. The way you used to do with me. I think about the phrases you'll use, the Irish hint of your accent becoming even more prominent the more worked up you get. The way you used to get with me. I think about after, mostly - the way you'll wrap her up in your arms, kiss the bare skin on her shoulders and whisper I love you just loud enough for her to hear you over the panting. That was always my favourite moment, just when I thought my body couldn't feel weaker, you'd whisper I love you, and suddenly I became even more like jelly than before."
"I think about all that too, it's not just you."
Leah let out a scoff of laughter, shaking her head and letting more tears flow.
"What is all this then?" She threw her hands in the air.
"All what?"
"This! You! Here! You don't owe me any of it, you don't have to do this because you made some stupid fucking vows." She shouted.
Ouch.
"If you're at that point - I'm happy for you. I just don't need to hear about it." Her lip quivered towards the end of the sentence but she managed to keep her tears at bay.
"What point?" I asked, completely confused.
"The point of thinking about all that too. I'm sorry - I'm sorry that I have to be involved in that image. I'm sorry that you have to think about how we used to do it when you're thinking of it with someone else."
Why was everything I tried to say coming out wrong?
"Leah, no."
"Please just go, Alex. I'm feeling better, okay? I'm feeling better now, and I can manage on my own."
Why can't I just say it? I love you. Why is that so hard to say?
"I'm not leaving. I said I'd be here, and I will be."
"I'm fine!" She shouted.
"Leah, you couldn't even bath on your own." I sighed.
"Of course I could. I put my own clothes on, didn't I? I got back out myself, didn't I?"
Am I following this right?
"So why did you say you needed my help?"
"Because I thought - for some stupid reason - that maybe it would show you."
"Show me what? Why are you talking in riddles? I fucking hate riddles."
"Show you that I still want you to be the only person I would feel comfortable standing in front of like that. Show you that I wanted to be close to you, even if my body isn't able to do that right now. But I did the opposite. You know - I foolishly thought we had a moment. I thought we had a moment of almost kissing, I felt it. Butterflies. God, I felt them. But we didn't. You ran, the second you got your chance. And I know why - I don't blame you. You're Alex Ryan. You don't have to put up with the baby bump stretch marks, or the scabby scars. Yeah, maybe that was something you put up with when we were together because it was normal - because it was the only body you seen. But now you know that you don't have to have that anymore. You can have toned, tanned, and perfect. Because you're Alex Ryan, and I'm just -"
Anger. Bubbling. Not at Leah, at this stupid idea that bodies had to look a certain way to be attractive.
"That's not my fucking name!" I screamed, immediately stopping when I saw Leah's shocked face.
"What?"
"Alex Ryan-Williamson. It annoys me when people just say Alex Ryan." I whispered, worried I'd frightened her with my outburst.
Leah didn't know what to make of my comment, prompting me to fill the silence.
"Everything I've tried to say has come out wrong. That's why I ran. I kept making stupid, awkward comments. We did have a moment, we were going to kiss, but I ruined it."
"Why didn't you just kiss me then?"
"Why didn't you kiss me?"
"How could I? Looking like this? How could I possibly look at you, stood in front of me in all your perfectness, and think that I was the type of person you deserved."
I couldn't stand this any longer, stepping forward to attentively take her hand in mine and pulling her towards the bed. We sat on the edge, a small gap separating us.
"I don't care how you look, Le. I've never cared about that. It's just an added bonus that you look as perfect as you do. I don't love you for how you look, you wanna know why I love you?"
"Yeah." She whispered, eyes to the floor.
"I love you because you always know what to say, because you make my heart feel unbroken just by making eye contact with me, because you know exactly what I need without me having to say a word. I love you because you know when I need to be pacified, and when I need tough love. I love you because you know that I only drink the orange juice with no bits, or that I always forget a spoon when I'm taking yogurt to the studio. I love you because you buy the swirly pasta for me when I know you prefer spaghetti, and because you warm my side of the bed for me when I'm brushing my teeth and getting changed. I love you because you do little things like undo the buttons on my shirt when it's hanging up and I'm in the shower, just to make my getting ready process easier, or getting out of bed on your day off just to deice my car so I don't get cold. I love you because I have this stupid scar on my knee from the time we went indoor skiing and you kept egging me on to go faster. I love you because I have three children, well four now, who wouldn't be the little humans that they are without you. Aoife wouldn't be able to be able to curl her hair without you, or pronounce specific without naming an ocean. Theo wouldn't be able to name the recipe for Rice Krispie buns without you. Finn wouldn't be able to start off an orange peel with a spoon without you. And this little one - well this little one mightn't have even made it through the last few weeks without you being brave enough to go through what you've gone through. You thought I ran from you earlier, Le, but I didn't - I ran from myself. I was afraid to tell you all the things that I loved and missed about you, because I didn't want you to think I only came here for that reason."
"I still buy the swirly pasta, I can't bring myself to buy spaghetti, even though I know you won't be here to eat it." She chuckled softly.
"I still forget my spoon for my yogurts every day." I chuckled back.
"I don't know how to do life without you, Al."
Be brave, say what you want to say, Alex.
"I don't want to learn to do life without you, Le."
"Can you hold me? Just for a little while?" She whispered.
I moved back up the bed, opening my arms and feeling Leah practically dive into them. It was impossible to not notice the synchronisation of our breathing as we cherish the feeling that we had both missed, one that couldn't be achieved in a hospital bed. Neither of us felt the need to think about what happens next, we had each other in our arms, and that's all that mattered.
"I've missed this." I whispered, holding her impossibly closer.
"Me too, Al. Me too."