I shot up and looked at Kai's sad face.
I didn't know what to be more surprised at: the fact that he had showed up or the fact that he just spoke to me.
"Kai?" I spoke quietly.
Before he could say or do anything, I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.
"I'm so sorry," I whispered.
I felt him shake his head. I cried into the crook of his neck, making his shirt damp with my tears.
"Plea-please st-st-stop cr-crying," Kai begged. "I don't li-like s-s-seeing you cr-cry."
A small choke of a laugh escaped. I got myself to stop crying and pulled back to look at Kai.
"Kai, I am beyond sorry," I said looking into the beautiful brown eyes of his.
He shook his head again.
"You d-don't n-n-need t-to be," He said.
I shook my head.
"That's the thing, Kai, I do," I said. "I have no excuse of why I didn't stand up to you. Friends are supposed to stand up for one another and if I was in your shoes I would have done the same thing."
I paused.
'I would have stopped being my friend, too," I added softly.
I looked away from him. Kai put one of his long fingers under my chin so I would look at him.
"It's ok," He said gently.
I shook my head.
"Its not," I said.
We both were quiet while we just stared at each other.
"Can I confess something?" I asked.
He nodded and wiped a stray tear from my cheek with his thumb.
"Freshman year was normal and simple for me. I stayed out of people's way, minded my own business, did my homework, and was me," I started.
Kai's eyes searched mine while I talked.
"Then the beginning of sophomore year, Yoojin randomly came up to me and did this whole make-over thing," I continued. "I honestly have no idea why she did it or why I let her do it. Maybe, deep down I wanted it. Wanted to be popular and not the shy, quiet nerd who sat in the back of class afraid of attention that I was. I knew how she was, what she does to others, her reputation, but I still let her do it.
"In all honesty, I hate everything that she did to me. I hate the clothes she makes me wear to school. I hate the make-up I have to wear, hate that I can't wear my nose stud or lip ring, hate that she bullies people. I hate everything about her.
"My parents didn't raise me like that. They raised me to be respectful, nice, and to help people who need it. If they ever found out that I hung out with Yoojin they would be so disappointed in me. They also know about her and her reputation, and the thing is, l'm nothing like her. Not once since she did this to me, did I ever act like her," I paused after letting everything go.
Everything that I've been holding in for the past two and a half years. It felt as if a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I started crying again and Kai pulled me into a tight hug.
"I've never been like her and never will be," I sobbed.
I quickly got myself to stop crying and pulled back again.
'I'm sorry," I said again in a whisper.
He gave me a real, full toothed, dimpled smile.
"I f-f-forgive you," He said.
I smile back and gave him another hug.
"Thank you," I breathed out.
"Any-anything for you," He said softly.
____________________
The next morning, I got dressed in a black shirt with the a smiley face which kind of dripped down as if it was paint, a brown-ish plaid button up over that leaving it un-buttoned, a pair of black jeans. Adding my black combat boots to the outfit, putting my long brown, black-ish hair into two side braids with a black beanie to complete the entire outfit, I was ready.
With my nose stud and lip ring in, I was ready to go, feeling like.. like me.
Grabbing my car keys and phone, I headed out the front door.
I had texted Yerim last night saying that I didn't need a ride and when she argued I told her that I would meet her at the breakfast table.
I drove myself that morning for the first time since the beginning of sophomore year.
I turned my music loud blasting All Time Low.
I pulled into the parking lot and parked next to Kai car. He was already inside.
Everyone that was mingling around the parking lot had their eyes on my car. My windows were tinted so they didn't know who was behind the wheel but there was no doubt that they could hear my music blasting.
I exited my car and headed for the main doors as everyone followed me with their eyes. I could already hear the whispers passing from one person to the next.
Even though everybody's eyes were on me, I kept my head up and shoulders back, not caring that they stared.
I went straight to my locker and grabbed my bag. I closed my locker and went straight to art class, not wanting to confront Yerim yet.
I passed Kai in the halls and we high fived as we passed each other, making the whispering around us to intensify.
Sitting in my usual seat in the back of art class, I pulled my sketch book out and started drawing before class even started.
Mrs Park always let me draw in my sketch book, even if there was an assignment that day. She knew that I would still turn the assignment in the next day. I started drawing myself wearing the exact outfit that I was wearing that day.
I drew myself grinning down at a mask that was shattered like glass on the ground.
I felt a presence behind me and a hand was tapped on my shoulder.
"Welcome back, Sooah," Mrs Park said softly.
She walked off before I could say anything, a small smile on her lips. I've had her freshman, sophomore, junior year, and now senior year. She definitely knew who I was.
After art ended, I headed to English in a good mood. I've been in a good mood ever since I got dressed in my clothes when I woke up this morning.
I sat in my seat and wasn't surprised when Yerim didn't show up. She skips English most of the time.
When Kai sat down next to me, he was wearing a huge cheesy grin.
"What?" I asked.
He pulled out his notebook and wrote something down. I frowned at the fact that he stopped talking again.
I read what he wrote.
Your you!
I giggled and nodded.
"Are you going to stop talking again?" I asked sadly.
He shook his head and wrote something else.
I don't like talking at school.
I frowned again and rested my hand over his.
"'I stop her from bullying you," I promised quietly.
He gave me a, you-have-to-be-kidding-me-look.
I smirked.
"I have my ways," I said, which was completely true.
Last night after I decided that I would start being myself again, I remembered something that Yerim had said, did a little research, and found something very, very interesting.
Kai grinned and Mr Kang started class.
Lunch finally rolled around and I got in line for pizza, and then made a bee line for Kai's table. The four guys were already seated there.
I dropped my tray onto the table, making a small thud. The four guys jumped at the sudden noise and I grinned.
I sat down between Kai and Beomgyu, the only seat left.
They all stared at me like I was crazy, but then they grinned.
"What up, guys?" I asked grinning back.
"Finally decided to join the dark side with us?" Taehyun asked with a smirk.
"With you?" I scoffed. "The dark side is my bitch."
The guys laughed.
"Whether you want to say that you joined us or we joined you, how do you like to be back?" Soobin asked.
Yeah, my freshman self is known by everyone. They remember how and who I used to be.
I sighed in relief.
"I feel free!" I said loudly.
The people closest to us looked over and the guys started laughing again.
I took a bite of my pizza and moaned in delight.
"Do you need a room in private?" Beomgyu asked sarcastically.
I playfully pushed his shoulder.
"Shut up," I said with a mouthful. "If you've lived off of disgusting salad for the past two and half years wouldn't you love a little pizza?"
"I would love pizza even if I just finished eating pizza,"
Beomgyu said smirking.
I laughed.
"Sooah, what the hell?" I heard behind me.