Back at Starkiller, nausea floods your gut as you walk the halls.
The Knights split for the den instantly, throwing their helmets and weapons around recklessly as you enter. You hover by the door.
Stay here? Or see Ren?
Either way you'll have to face him.
You wanted to tell him how you held that man in your grasp. How powerful you felt. How the Force had warned you so often and how you felt trickles of Ren everywhere you went. How good it was to talk with him through that connection. How, now that you were back on Starkiller, that magnet had stopped pulling so strong.
Worse, you want to tell him you don't meditate anymore. Your connection with the Force is no longer as spiritual. Instead, you feel like it's fuelling you. Or maybe you're fuelling it. The crashing waves slam into the cliffs of your mind whenever you try to think about it.
You killed people today. Murdered people. Bad people, but still. The sight of them... it reminded you of Rey. The First Order had killed Rey.
That needs to be your ambition. Not this addicting power. Not the dark side you can feel, shadows wrapping around the corners of your mind. Not the spark of flames and dark of night.
A familiar but unwelcome pain begins to pierce through your scull, and you wobble your way to the sofa to lean your hands on the back of it.
"Ren's coming," you wince, warning the knights so that they don't do or say anything stupid, "he's close."
You can sense the change in the room at the words. The tension.
"Are you ok?" Trudgen's worried voice carries through the pain, and you manage to nod.
The headache worsens, high pitched ringing sounding through your inner ears. You pinch the bridge of your nose, trying to appear normal, but the knights can see you're in pain. They're on alert, you can feel the hesitation in their bodies.
After a moment, Ushar rushes to your side to help you around the sofa, placing you on the end. You retreat your legs up, pulling your knees to your chest so you can hide your face in them while you deal with the stabbing in your brain.
"Does this happen all the time?" Apl'lek inquires. "Surely not." He adds, a distant voice, speaking more to the room than you.
"No, not every time," you sigh, "I don't even know what it is. I'm not sure if he controls it or..." You yelp as a particularly painful dagger stabs behind your forehead, the sound muffled by your knees. "I don't know, I have no idea."
"Interesting." He replies, sounding far too casual for your liking.
"Is it?" You say too harshly, lifting your face to see Ap'lek rough eyebrows knotted together. He's closer now than he was before. You bury your face again.
"Testy." Ushar ruffles your hair and you groan, your head throbbing. You can feel his missing finger and your guilt becomes unbearable.
The door opens while Ushar's hand is still on your head, and you've never witnessed someone move so quickly when he snaps it away from you.
You can feel Ren, you don't need to bother to turn and see him.
It's suffocating. Addicting.
It feels like a high from a drug you know is going to give you a traumatic come down.
It touches you everywhere, without permission.
His boots slam slow, painfully slow, against the floor as he approaches you. The air is thick. Breathing is useless. His mask is on, you can hear his robotic breath.
Electricity seems to spark, your fingertips, the back of your neck, your hair standing on end almost uncomfortably. Your body goes rigid as you await his movements with your face still hidden.
His large, controlling, gloved fingers are in your hair, gently prying your head from your legs.
You stiffen at his touch, but melt into it, allowing him to move you, as he brushes your hair from your face. You look up at the unforgiving mask. Evil. Yet, it only seems to remind you of the times his fingers were inside of you whilst he wore it.
"I take it did not go as planned on Coruscant?" The sharp edge to Ren's voice is ordering one of the knights to answer, despite his visor pointing in your direction.
He's too big. You wish he'd sit down. You feel so small with your head in his hand like this. He could snap your neck in seconds if he wanted to. He has definitely wanted to before. You wonder what stopped him.
"Your apprentice stabbed Menace in the throat." Cardo rats you out instantly, leaning back smugly as he awaits your punishment. Your breathing hitches.
Ren considers this new information, his fingers trailing down your face until they hook under your chin - bringing your gaze back up to his, where it belongs.
"Why is that?" His voice is so low you almost miss it. Your heart hammers, trying to escape through your ribs.
"H-he, I-" Holy shit you're stuttering. Embarrassment crowds your cheeks. You don't want to admit to the knights how terrifying it was to be in your position. That man pulling on your zip. Your breasts seconds away from being bared to a room full of men. You were horrified that Ap'lek hadn't stepped in sooner, but remained hopeful that he had a plan. Perhaps Cardo was supposed to detonate that bomb in those moments.
"I'm sure you can imagine how Menace acted in the presence of..." Vicrul began to explain, his accent thick now with his mask off, "...her."
Rage flares off of Kylo. You can feel it's sweeping tidal wave smashing through your mind with the Force.
"Yes, I can." Kylo says patiently, so as not to betray the anger you can feel radiating from him. He lets go of your face, to pace slowly to the other side of the room.
When he reaches it, he pauses.
"Come." He calls you to him with the snap of his fingers, pointing down to where he wants you.
This is it.
Do you show your loyalty? Be his pet? Why do you want to? Maybe because he's given you all this free reign. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad to just do as he says. It'll help you gain his trust, after all.
You stand, your cheeks reddening further as you follow his order. It's horrible to act so subservient in front of the knights. You can fully hold your own with them. They seem to respect you - if you ignore Cardo - and have been allowing you to interfere with their work. You're beginning to feel like one of them. Would they come to Ren if he called them to his heels like a dog? You almost believe they would. Ren certainly does.
A little part of you wants to be think you're special for how Kylo treats you. Are you one of his subordinates? Or are you something more? Is this passion between you important? Is it a pass time? Are you connected or has this all been in your head?
When you're within arms length, Kylo uses his powerful hand to pull you toward him by the back of your neck.
His mouth drops to you ear, "wait for me in bed," he murmurs, so that the knights cannot hear, "if you are anything but nude when I arrive, I will not be pleased."
Heat drops to your core. He wants you naked, sprawled on his bed and waiting for him. Instinct wants you to object... but your clit is already throbbing in anticipation. Your breasts tighten, and you're sure he can sense it.
"Say, 'Yes, Commander', and go," he brazenly urges you, a growl beneath his words.
"Yes, Commander," you breathe, stepping away as he releases you. You steal one last glance at the knights, who are too clever to say anything, but, from the looks of it, know exactly what is going on.
You collect yourself and exit the room, distantly listening as Cardo steps up to brief Kylo on the events of the mission.
The walk to Ren's quarters is even move uncomfortable than usual with all these thoughts swirling around in your head.
Is he not still exhausted from healing you? Is this a punishment? Or the opposite? Should you have asked his permission before leaving Starkiller?
The room is cool as you enter, chilling your flustered skin.
Your robes are hung in the wardrobe and you begin to peel the bodysuit off when you hear the first door open.
That gives you approximately 8 seconds before he reaches the main room.
You struggle with the zip, but it does not budge.
He barely gave you any time, how is this fair?
Of course it isn't fair. He's never played fair.
The door reveals his sweeping black robes, and wicked helmet.
You don't bother with the zip, it's stuck, so you turn on your heels and approach him timidly.
He removes his helmet, placing it on the stand close to the door. You marvel in his solemn, contemplative features. His dark hair and strong frame. He has definitely fully recovered.
His skin is smooth, warmer than before, his eyes alive again. Playful.
When his gaze meets yours, full of heat, you feel like backing into a corner. Being fully exposed to his stare is lethal. You want to peel your skin off so that he can't look at you anymore.
"The zip is stuck." You explain pathetically, tugging on the metal, not able to break your eye contact.
He breaks it first, his eyes travelling the length of your body.
"You went outside in this?" His smooth, deep and buttery voice is touching you before he's even laid a finger on you literally.
You nod, "with the robe. Vic got mad."
His eyes blaze with something dangerous. "I can see why."
Before you know it he's pulling you forward by the wrist, tugging you close to his body. His hand holds you by the waist, the other settling gently over your throat. You gulp and he can feel it.
"Menace..." You start, trying to explain why you'd killed him.
"He touched you?" Ren's jaw locks.
"No. Well, yes, but-"
Rens lips are on yours before you can finish. You're startled, but his tongue on yours calms you. He uses his thumb and finger on both sides of your jaw to tilt you toward him, the kiss intensifying. He bites your lip and a whimper escapes you.
Confused, panting, you look up at him.
"Good girl for dealing with it." He soothes, his thumb rubbing into your skin tenderly. "I'm not fond of people touching what's mine."
"Yours?" You question, your breathing heavy. The deadly look he gives you makes you shut your mouth.
He walks toward the counter, dragging you by the neck with him. You trip over your own feet trying to keep up.
In the kitchen now, he lifts you onto the island top like you weigh nothing. You grip the marble edge, watching him for a moment, until his hands are on your shoulders - his eyes on your clothes. Or, what's underneath them.
Kylo rips your bodysuit at the neck, tearing down the zip and exposing your chest. His eyes feast on your breasts as his gloved hands cup them, running two thumbs over both pebbling nipples.
You shiver under his touch, and quickly, his mouth is on them. His tongue circles the left nipple as he savours each lick, each suck, groaning like he'd been looking forward to it.
Your head drops back, your neck exposed as your sensitive nipples shoot arousal straight down to your centre. His hands grip your arched back like he's worried you'll float away.
Your cries are small and laced with panting as he switches to the other breast. He nips at it, his teeth scraping gently and you yip at the surprise.
With your nipple still in his mouth, he picks you up. Your legs wrap around his solid frame, squealing a little as he pretends to drop you.
"Prick," you gasp, gripping onto his neck even tighter.
"Language, Pet," he hums into your neck, placing kisses along your skin, everywhere his lips touch ignites you.
"Will you stop that?" You complain, referring to the nickname as you push his face from the crook of your neck just as he nears the bed with you in his arms.
"Why? Is it not true?" Kylo drops you, and you land on your feet with a wobble, the bed behind you. You shake your head at his ridiculous accusations. He's stopped touching you and you want his hands back.
"No?" Mischief lights up in his eyes, his expression remaining stoic. His fingertips are grazing your hips so gently. So light.
You cover your bare chest with your arms.
He doesn't like that. Fire blazes behind his pupils as his jaw hardens.
"Strip, Pet." Kylo traces the back of his finger down your arm, pinching the fabric that covers you and letting it spring back into place.
You contemplate this. All you can think about in this moment is his hands on you. There's no doubt that he won't give you that until you obey him. Not to mention, when you submit... he treats you so... soft.
You peel the suit from your body, and stand, nude except for your underwear, before his eyes.
"All of it." Kylo is stern as his eyes flit to your panties, and you breathe deeply before letting them fall down your bare legs and stepping out of them.
Satisfaction lights behind his dark eyes, a subtle groan brimming in his throat as he admires your nude form.
Your eyebrows knit together with worry, anticipation making your knees wobble. The air is cool, your nipples hard under his inspection.
"Kneel."
Something about the way he says it makes you drop to your knees.
"See, baby." Ren's holding your head in his hands now, a thumb tracing your lower lip. "You can be such a good little pet when you want to be."
Anger swirls in your stomach, but lust drips from your core and the two alternative forces battle it out inside of you while you part your lips for him subconsciously.
Your hands feel his strong thighs under the material, one of your hands palming the erection just by your head. You want your lips wrapped around his cock.
"You think you've earned this?" He asks, running a thumb over your cheek attentively, his hand grabbing his crotch in your face.
"Please," you whisper, unbuckling his belt before he can say yes.
He swats your hands away, kicking his shoes off and treading over and past you before settling on the bed with his back to the headboard. Relaxing. Like you're not even there.
He nods for you to join him and you breathe in relief. You stand next to him, beside the bed. His body is so huge. So powerful. He's literally below you right now and you're both overtly aware that he is the boss.
Kylo stifles a laugh at you, standing by his side. You blush. Again. This is humiliating.
"No. Here." Kylo's hands manoeuvre you by the hips, not allowing you to do it yourself, lifting you onto his lap so that you're straddling him.
Now face to face, his eyes are even deeper. Stronger. More... magnetising.
"You thought it was alright that I went with your knights today?" You ask, your palms on his chest wishing you could undress him. You'll have to be patient.
He seems to sense your thoughts, leaning forward and removing the top half of his clothes for you. You rest your hands on his now bare chest, warm, soft, fingertips feeling jagged scars. His shoulders are so... large. You can't help but stare at him in his entirety. Such rugged masculinity. Skin. Muscles. Hair. Pure sexual energy rages.
"It was never my intention to keep you prisoner," he replies with full sincerity, the fingers on your hips tapping as he ponders your question.
What does that mean?
"Oh." Is all you can respond.
Your shyness returns when you least want it to. Right now, with his large cock pressing into you through his clothes, you want to be confident enough to just sit on it. You can imagine it, face to face like this...
What is he thinking?
You want to dive into his mind.
An idea grows. If you were to try... while you're having sex... his guard would be down. You could discover useful information. You could possibly do it without him even realising you're in there.
You almost forget your plan as his hands explore your backside, his lazy eyes admiring your naked form.
"Are you going to let me back in to that pretty little head anytime soon?" His fingers pinch your chin playfully, his eyes sparking with lust as you try to adjust yourself. No matter how you move, you're rubbing against him. It's making you mad. It's making him harder.
"Not if I have anything to say about it," you mumble, ensuring your mind is fully cut off from his. The choice you have in doing this is one of very few he allows you to have. You'll keep it as long as you can. Especially since not doing so could reveal such dangerous plans.
If he were to find out that you're not loyal to him...
You don't want to think about it.
"I suppose..." His hand plays with your hair, tugging on it lightly. Face to face like this, your lips brush against his as he pulls you closer to him. "I'll have to make do."
The corners of your mouth tug into a smile. The fireflies in your chest and stomach are bouncing off the walls.
You let your hands explore, his hard chest, his neck - which you hesitate to touch, but he allows you - and jaw, finally settling your palms on the sides of his head, your thumbs on his jaw and fingertips drowning in soft hair. His body is massive beneath you, and your head tilts slightly up to meet his eye-line - even now. How do you still feel small when you're sat on top of him?
Kylo's dark eyes flick down to your chest, and you blush at how brazenly he admires you.
With his face in your hands, you consider taking the lead and kissing him. You're not sure you could face the rejection if he didn't let you, though.
"You've been so good today." Kylo recognises, his voice dropping an octave. You can feel the hum of satisfaction from deep within him. You hate to admit it, but knowing you made him happy ignites a little joy inside of you. You made this stoic, powerful man, proud.
You take your bottom lip between your teeth, nervous, and return your eyes to his.
His hand is on the back of your neck and pulling you in, his mouth capturing yours in an all consuming kiss. You melt into him. There's nothing easier than this.
Talking means nothing when your bodies fit together in this way.
The kiss heats up, ravenous and controlling, and you let him take the lead with every pleasure you can muster. His hands are forcing your hips down onto his, the feeling of him large, hot, and hard overwhelming your thoughts.
His tongue on your neck, his teeth, his lips, you whimper as his smell lingers. Pine. Wind. Whiskey. Cinnamon? Your face is buried in his neck, too shy to keep the eye contact as his hands explore your body. Your thighs. Your...
His fingers are teasing your clit now, the tips playful and edging around where you desperately need to be touched.
You whine into his hair, your arms wrapped around him even tighter as you feel your wetness begin to soak his fingers. You can't help but roll your hips to push against his hand, begging for friction.
"So wet for me..." Under his breath, he's practically growling as he slips his fingers over your arousal. His teeth clamp down onto your shoulder and you tense up, until his fingers slip over your clit and inside of you. Everything serges together. The pain and pleasure battle and sizzle, before mellowing and merging together. You gasp at the pumping of his fingers, barely acknowledging the sound of him unbuckling underneath you.
Kylo keeps you satisfied for every second until he lifts you up and - with a harsh grip of your waist - moves you down onto his length.
The sound that escapes you is strangled and needy, and you find yourself moaning as his large hands move your thighs to be more comfortable. His gentle touches while you adjust to his size inside of you nearly undo you completely, and you lean back - your face away from the crook of his neck - to see his.
Hunger. Sex. Lust. The flames in his eyes are dancing and your lips part as you watch them.
Something clicks.
The flames engulf you, wrapping around your limbs and pulling you through space and time. Into his mind. Through waterfalls of black liquid and swirling around uncontrollable forest fires.
You find yourself somewhere else entirely.
You're in a bed you do not recognise. You look down to see a large, male body, instead of yours. Your hands look like Kylo's.
Something is so very wrong. Something is twisted. The air is stale. You turn with a start as your senses alert you of murderous intent.
Luke Skywalker stands above you.
Lightsaber engaged, the laser is the only thing between the two of you. Coming down.
Twisted, wicked, wrongness ignites through the rooms aura.
Death.
Your saber is in your hands, blocking his blow. Every muscle in your arms engaged.
You can barely breathe. The light in Luke's eyes dies. His furrowed brows increase. Something... black swirls through the Force. It's deep. Unforgiving.
An overwhelming betrayal traps you. Urges you to retaliate. This man, this man you trusted so deeply...
How could he do this? How could he? Are you truly so unworthy? So wrong for this world? Something breaks in your body. Your heart. Your soul. The shadows are creeping in.
If Luke does not care about you, who does?
Rage takes place where the hurt and longing had lingered. It engulfs you.
The building comes crumbling down over your bodies, bricks slamming into the both of you.
Jolting you - away from the memory that leaves you with emotions as fresh as they would be if they were actually yours to begin with.
Your mind retracts from Kylo's. Your heart aching. Your soul as dampened as his is bared.
When you regain vision, Kylo seems lost for the first time. His eyes betray it. His jaw is taut. He is still inside of you, and you can still feel the lingering of his lips on your neck.
"What was that?" You breathe, shocked.
Kylo lifts you off of him, the sudden feeling of him leaving you makes you shudder as he places you beside him. Carefully.
His legs are off the bed now. He faces away from you. His large back hunched as his head falls into those powerful hands. Only... they're shaking. His back muscles are tense and his body is rigid.
"What happened?" You edge toward him, placing your hand against his back tenderly.
"Do not touch me." Kylo snaps, deep and irritated, standing up to escape you. You deflate as your hand falls off, onto the bed.
His large form disappears into the bathroom.
Did you just... witness the making of Kylo Ren?
•
A/N
teehee
currently writing the next chapter and i want you guys to comment your FAVOURITE KNIGHT
i will ensure to give u some good content if u dooo <3 (hopefully good lol)
kylo kinda mad at the end there (duh), that boy has never heard of emotional intimacy
hopefully he'll come around
maybe he wont. maybe he'll be broody emo kylo for the next 10 chapters. maybe this won't even have a happy ending
i'm just kidding
or am i?