A/N: I promise. I am working on this story. However, I have been working on others more. If you want me to update this before I actually do, feel free to tell me to update, but please give me about three days to do so.
Thanks
~Rissa
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"Mom? Dad? I'm home," I called out while I shut the door behind me, home from my walk from school. "Did you miss me?"
My mother came out from the kitchen with a smile on her face, but this one was forced. Her eyes were filled with worry and nervousness, as if she didn't know how well I'd react to the news that she had behind her back. "Always, my Dear," she said. "How was school?"
I shrugged and dropped my bag next to the door, knowing full well that I'd grab it after I changed into some running clothes. "School is school," I replied with a grimace. "What are you hiding behind your back?" I skipped the formalities and what I would normally say, my focus on the thing that she was trying to hide.
"It's... uh..." She sighed and looked down while she produced a letter from behind her back and held it out towards me. "It's a letter from Julliard."
I stilled, and my face grew pale. My heart started to pound in my chest while I looked at the letter, and sweat beaded down my forehead. "What?" I asked, my voice breathless as it was hard for me to breathe. "What did you say?"
"It's a letter from Julliard, Cass," she said again. "I think you should open it and read what it has t-"
"How did they get our new address?" I asked, interrupting her. My stomach turned, and I felt sick. "I didn't tell them that we had moved."
Mom dipped her head closer to her chest and looked down at the floor. "That's because I did," she said softly. "I updated your information with Julliard so that they knew where you were going to be lodging now."
My mouth went dry. "Why?" I asked, even though I could barely get that word out while my voice cracked. "Why did you update my information?"
"Because I know how much you love to dance," Mom said, "and act and sing, and I thought that this would be a great college for you to focus on your skills, grow, and hopefully land yourself a great job doing something that you love."
I shook my head no. "But that is also the school that I went to when Kayla needed my help," I said. "I will not open it. I can not open it. I can not go back there, not after everything that has happened." I silently cursed myself when my voice shook at the end.
Mom sighed and looked at me, her eyes growing softer. "Cass, please," she said softly. "It's not your fault what happened to Kayla. Please, don't think that it was."
I shook my head, and my bottom lip quivered while tears started to prick at the corner of my eyes. "But I could have stopped it," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. "If I had known or had been there, then Treble wouldn't have gotten his grimy hands on her. H-" I shook my head again and took a deep, shuddering breath.
A wave of guilt filled my body, and I hugged myself while I tucked my chin to my chest.
I could have prevented something that happened to one of my best friends...
But I wasn't; I wasn't there. I couldn't protect her from him, even though I knew that he was trouble. I knew that he hated me and knew that the best way to get to me was to harm my best friends.
Why he chose Kayla, I didn't know, but it left a sour taste in my mouth. It had me craving his blood, to seek more vengeance against him when I thought about it, not caring about the risks that came with it.
He had seen my eyes turn full on gold...
I knew that he did, and I was very wary of him knowing that information. I had no idea if he knew what it meant or if there was something that he was hiding from us, more than the fact that he was part of the world that I wasn't supposed to know about, even though I did.
I didn't know what creature he was, but I knew that he was something different than a human. I just didn't know what, and that made me nervous.
My mother's face grew softer, and she took a step towards me. She didn't stop when I focused my gaze on her, knowing full well that I wouldn't hurt her; I couldn't...
She reached out and touched my face, and I buried my face into her hand and closed my eyes, letting a tear fall from my eye. "My poor baby," she soothed and brushed the tear from my cheek. "My poor, poor baby. I'm so, so sorry."
I sniffled and cleared my throat while I clutched her hand in mine, my hand shaking. "I don't want to go," I said, my voice quivering while it came out barely above a whisper. "What if..." I cringed and shook my head while I trailed off.
What if something bad happens here while I am over there..?
Mom rubbed my cheek and pulled my face down gently so that she could kiss my forehead. "Nothing bad will happen here when you are over there. Besides, does Treble even know where you are located?" She raised an eyebrow in question.
I didn't respond and shrugged. I didn't know if he knew where I had moved to, for I hadn't really discussed where I was moving in public, but that didn't mean he couldn't have stalked me here, something that I was worried about.
What if he finds Xav and kills him before I get to find out the "truth"..?
My stomach turned with that thought, and I knew that my face became a little green because my mother frowned and cocked her head. I felt sick, worried, and the urge to go to him was strong, but I stayed put because I had my mother's hand on my cheek and didn't want to be rude and remove it so that I could go to him.
He's protected, a voice from somewhere said, soothing my fears and my stomach. Nothing will happen to him. He is always protected and will be so.
"Cass?" my mother asked and furrowed her brows. Worry filled her eyes while she studied me, and her lips were pressed into a thin line. "What is it? What is wrong?"
I released the breath that I didn't know I was holding and shook my head. "It's nothing," I said, my voice barely above a whisper. I cleared my throat and licked my lips, trying to get my voice to stop shaking. "I am just worried about Treble, is all," I added quickly before she could speak. "I talked to Copo this afternoon, and he said that he hadn't been in school this year yet, and his parole officer doesn't know where he is."
My mother frowned and slowly nodded. Worry filled her eyes, and I had a feeling that she thought I'd go back up there and find him myself, even though we both knew that it wouldn't be a good idea.
I pursed my lips and wrinkled my nose. "I'm staying down here, Mom," I soothed. "I'm not going after him. Copo and Charlie warned me not to go after him and let the police handle the situation."
I am pretty sure that Charlie has someone else looking for him, I silently thought, making sure to keep that thought off my face. I could tell by the way that he looked hard and annoyed at Copo.
My mother looked relieved and nodded again. "Good," she said before she grew serious. "He shouldn't be out after this, right?" she asked, and I shrugged. "I mean, it was on his sheet that he had to report to school on time or risk facing jail time."
"I don't know," I replied honestly. "I don't think that he will be going to jail anytime soon even if he is caught." I pressed my lips into a thin line and set my jaw. I hated that he wouldn't be going to jail, but I knew that he wouldn't be; he could get out of it, I was sure.
It's why he wasn't in jail now...
My mother cleared her throat and looked away from me before she looked at me again. Her eyes were hard and serious while she studied me, and I had a feeling that she was waiting to see what I'd have to say. "If he was in jail," she said slowly, "would you go to Julliard?"
I hesitated and looked away from her, not knowing what to say. I didn't know if I felt comfortable leaving, even though I really wanted to go. I wanted to go to the performing arts school and perform.
I loved making people smile, to take them out of the world that they lived in, and putting them in another place, or another time. It made me feel good about myself to know that I had made them happy and to escape reality.
"Cass?" my mother asked softly.
I shrugged and looked at her again, making sure to keep what I felt off of my face. "I don't know, Mom," I said finally, my voice sounding different in my ears. "I'd have to think about it."
My mother sighed and nodded, knowing that was the only response that she was going to get from me. She pressed her lips into a thin line and took her hand off of my cheek. "Can you do me a favor?" she asked.
I hesitated but nodded. "Yes?" I asked. "What is it?"
She sighed and handed me the letter. "Can you just read the letter for me, please?" she asked. "Just see what it has to say, ok?"
Again, I hesitated but finally nodded with a soft sigh. "Ok," I said and took the letter from her.
I cleared my throat and looked away before I leaned down and picked up my bag. "I am going to go ahead and run before going to the gym," I said while I stood and flung the strap over my shoulder.
"Wait," my mother spluttered while I was about to turn away from her. "What about changing or getting something to eat first?"
The thought of eating something made my stomach turn, so I knew that it'd be best not to eat something while it was so unsettled. "I'll be fine in these clothes, Mom," I said. "And I am not hungry."
Please, let me go, I silently prayed and flicked my eyes slightly close, please.
My mother slowly nodded, and worry and guilt filled her eyes. She knew that I was feeling stressed and overwhelmed with everything that was going on, which made me not hungry. "W-W-wait," she spluttered when I again turned to the door and was about to open it.
I closed my eyes and let out a small sigh before I turned back towards her, the letter clutched in my hand. "Ma'am?" I asked, feeling guilty about my tone when she flinched.
Mom smiled a little and dipped her head. She looked at me, studying my face and the emotions that I kept hidden from her. "I love you?" She didn't mean to make it sound like a question, but it came out like one. She was scared and nervous that I didn't love her when in fact, I still did.
I gave her a wry smile and dipped my head, too. "I love you, too, Mom," I said. "I'll be back in an hour or so."
And with that, I opened the door and walked out with her watching me, not looking back.
And she was still watching me until finally, the closed door separated us, and she couldn't see me any longer.
Goddess, please make this feeling go away, I silently prayed and looked up to the sky, letting the mask on my face fall for a split second to show how petrified, scared, hurt, and sad that I was to be caught between a rock and a hard place. Please. I can't do this on my own...