Everyone joined the helicopter, König was still upset over the death of his friend, he was grieving. He barely listened to his mates talking about the enemies taking over the place, he was just zoning out.
He realized that in a very short span, he lost his friend, Bullet, who lost his other friends, Shay and Sangy. They were all good people, gone too soon.
He realized he will never be able to see the french man's smile, nor he will be able to hear him laugh and talk.
He will never be able to see the shorter jump out of excitement over understanding some German basics.
It's like a little sparkle in this cruel world passed away. He felt so sad, he had so much guilt, he literally made him cry an hour before, and now he's dead ! There he was, now crying, feeling so much remorses. The austrian man wished he hugged him when the other started crying, he wished he apologized about being rude to him. He wanted so much to know him more, even outside of military, he felt like he knew so little of the other man. All he knew was how he got shot once, that he became an orphan after that, and then he had to make sure his autistic little sister got a good foster home. Heck, he didn't even know his favorite color, in which place he wanted to travel, what were his dreams and what he would do if he won ten thousands of dollars.
König had a very little amount of friends, scared of making them, scared of losing them. He found relationships very hard to start and maintain. He opened himself a lot to Bullet, he felt himself being a bit less shy around people because of him, and that was a good thing. But will he be able to find a new friend who will be equally as good as Bullet ? He didn't think so. He also didn't want to lose a new friend that way again. Gosh he loved Bullet, as a friend of course. The other man was so nice to him, before meeting the french male, nobody actually willingly talked to him to ask about his sleep schedule or even his own past, not really caring about the military part. König even felt that safe to tell him about his previous bullying, which Bullet listened carefully at the time.
His thoughts got interrupted when he saw Soap waving in front of his eyes, telling him they landed. König got up, climbed out of the helicopter, and came to Bullet's room without thinking that much about it.
He opened the door, still having the three's names on it, and he looked around. The atmosphere felt very heavy for him, his breath go caught in his throat, a knot started to form in there. His vision got blurry, and he started to cry, sobs escaped his body. He slowly closed the door behind him, as if it would break if he didn't. He just didn't want to neglect the precious place.
He sat on the ground, still sobbing, and started to remember all the memories he had from the three of them. From the time he taught them how to shoot, to the first time they had lunch together, to the time he comforted Bullet about Shay's passing, to the time he comforted Bullet to Sangy's passing. But also all the little bounding moments he had with Bullet and the other two when they were still alive. He realized again that he will never be able to talk to them, to see them. He stayed a long time, sat on the ground, his large back on the door.
He tried to dry his tears with his hands but found himself unable to because of the mask, he got up and looked around a second time, he wanted to remember everything from this dorm room, as it was the last thing related to the three that was still alive. He looked to the bunk beds, which were occupied by the Quebecian woman and German man before. The beds were neatly done, pictures of the respective bed owners sat on top of the blankets, a paper with their epitaphs next to them. They were so young, too young. Shay was twenty six years old, Sangy twenty four and Bullet twenty three.
The man walked away from the bunk beds, going towards the single bed next to the only window. The bed wasn't done, blanket discarded, pajamas still laying on it. König let out a light and sad chuckle from the late man's mess. He mindlessly took the pajamas to the hamper, which was filled with clothes, and tidied the bed. He wondered if he should check in the bedside drawers, fully knowing it would be some kind of disrespect for the man who passed away, but his curiosity was killing him, and he was desperately seeking the presence of the man.
He opened the first drawer, he found a discharged phone, a black ballpoint pen and what seemed to be a journal. He knew it was bad to, but he opened it. The first page being a little child's drawing, he smiled at it, seeing the innocence of a kid. It was Bullet's own drawing, the man had the journal since he was a child. König read through each page, or at least tried to, since the diary was written in french, so he just assumed he would be finding mundane things from the younger Bullet, the terrorist episode, he found another kid drawing, this time being from Lili, Bullet's sister. It was representing Bullet and Lili holding hands, both smiling. König translated the journal by Google Lens, and apparently Bullet found it "very touching", and he apparently cried, being so proud of his non verbal sister having found a way to communicate.
He continued reading and translating, Bullet started to get older, after finding the right home for Lili, his journal was less filled each day, some days were missing, there was globally no interest into writing anymore. Most of them being "I'm tired" or "It's fucking cold outside". At some point he started to write in english, a whole page explained why, but it mostly repeated over and over that sometimes communicating in another language represented what he felt inside the best. König passed through each page, until he found the day Bullet joined the military base.
The author of the journal wrote about how he found Shay so powerful and Sangy so friendly, he wrote about how excited he was for the next day, and his future first mission. The next day, he found Bullet describing him as a "giant austrian who has a German accent, probably very attractive behind the mask but let's not talk about it to him since he's very shy". König lightly laughed, tears pricking his eyes again. He read each page attentively, he saw every bounding moment they had together, he also found Bullet grieving for his two losses, a few days were skipped too, probably when he wasn't feeling the best.
At some point, König found a piece of paper, detached from the journal. It was folded and had the Austrian man's name on it. He unfolded it, tears threatening to fall from his eyes :
"Hallo my favorite giant of a man ;),
I really feel the need to praise you but I know that doing it in person will make you feel very very uncomfortable.
So dude, you're like the cutest man I've ever met without even seeing your face, I swear ! Like every time you stutter I just want to pinch your cheeks and baby you even though you're a grown man and you're so much taller than me that i wouldn't even be able to reach your face.
I really like your hugs, it's like cuddling a big fluffy panda, you're the warmest man I've ever met <3.
Thank you so much for living all of these adventures with me, even though it is not always enjoyable.
Je t'apprécie énormément, beaucoup, à la folie, mais juste en tant qu'ami hein...
- Y/N (this name only sounds good when you say it)"
The "big fluffy panda" hugged the letter close to his heart and let full sobs come out of his body. Cries would escape his lips and his body jolted every now and then. He whispered Y/N's name over and over again, printing it in his memory for eternity. He laid down on the small bed, his legs tangling out of it. His body was tired from all the crying, and he let himself fall asleep.
"C'est nous qui brisons les barreaux des prisons pour nos frères"
(It is we who break the prison bars for our brothers)
He heard a voice lightly singing, like a lullaby.
"La haine à nos trousses et la faim qui nous pousse, la misère"
(The hate chasing us and the hunger pushing us, the misery)
He felt his head being on a soft surface and his hair being massaged in a lulling motion. He was unmasked and he couldn't see anything.
"Il y a des pays où les gens au creux des lits font des rêves"
(There are countries where people in beds make dreams)
He started realizing he was sleeping, but didn't do anything to stop it.
"Ici, nous, vois-tu, nous on marche et nous on tue, nous on crève"
(Here, we, you see, we walk and we kill, we die)
He heard some walking and whispering from far away, maybe in the corridor if he was in a dorm room.
"Ici chacun sait ce qu'il veut, ce qu'il fait quand il passe"
(Here everyone knows what they want, what they do when they pass)
He figured out he was laying on someone's thighs, on a bed, in a dorm room.
"Ami, si tu tombes un ami sort de l'ombre à ta place"
(Friend, if you fall a friend comes out of the shadows in your place)
The light singing continued, Y/N's soft voice echoing softly into König's ears.
"Demain du sang noir sèchera au grand soleil sur les routes"
(Tomorrow black blood will dry at the bright sun on the roads)
König felt the man shifting, a kiss landed on the center of his forehead.
"Sifflez, compagnons, dans la nuit la liberté nous écoute"
(Whistle, companions, in the night the freedom listens to us)
He heard light footsteps walking away, the other man stopped singing, he was humming the song. The door slowly closed, and König never heard his friend again.